3 Marks of Spiritual Maturity

October 20, 2017October 23, 2017Leave a comment

It’s been said spiritual maturity is not just what you believe, but how you behave.

But let’s be honest: marrying the two in every situation isn’t always easy.

Granted, we have this side of heaven to learn, grow and discover; still, if you’re like me in the sense you’re looking to embrace spiritual maturity without despising the growing pains, here are three marks of spiritual maturity to aim for…

1. Dying to offense

Have you ever dealt with someone who lacked the same care you had for an ideal outcome?

Probably multiple times, right? I know when I was younger, anytime I found myself in a similar boat, I would withdraw into discouragement, ignorant to the offense (specifically my attitude towards unmet expectations and what I perceived to be indifference) I was taking; however, as I now know, not only is this a recipe for cynicism, but a contradiction to our call to love at all costs.

So I got to thinking: if everyday presents a temptation to be offended…why not die to our offense in the moments we catch ourselves alive in it?

‘Cause truth is: while we’re all hardwired to passionately pursue people with the passions we pursue, that doesn’t guarantee mutual understanding or aligned priorities. Obviously what matters most to me won’t always matter as much to you or someone else, but this doesn’t mean we have to take it personally.

Rather, whenever we feel others aren’t heeding what we value, let’s consider confronting offense in the moment with the intent to make truth known at the right time (using the in-between time to process, pray, talk to mentors/confidants, etc.)

Bottom line: If you want to mature as a believer, start by viewing every day as an opportunity to love heart to heart (accept people as they are) even if you don’t see eye to eye.

2. Praying in detail

If you’re reading this, chances are you know the idiom, ‘the devil is in the details’ is often used to imply an effort that seems simple at first, but takes longer than expected. What you may not know is the phrase actually derives from ‘God is in the details’, expressing the idea whatever one does should be done thoroughly (see 2 Timothy 3:17).

What does this have to do with prayer, you say?

Again, note the origin of the idiom. Sometimes when we pray, it’s based on condition, setting…a criteria of life surrounding us; however, when we pray in the Spirit, we’re praying in detail…we’re praying on terms outside our own. And that, to me, is what prayer is all about: delighting in His nearness and inquiring the specifics of God to better know His will.

Bottom line: Don’t just be intentional in prayer, be aggressive. Have Word exposure (Side note: you can’t mature without it), have a list of requests in front you, have people in mind you can speak out by name, and know what you want to take captive/what you want to take their place. You’ll find the more you pray in detail, the more you’ll discover fresh perspectives you couldn’t have known otherwise.

3. Fruits in fullness

If you know me, you know one of my favorite topics centers on an issue I haven’t always been great at: living fully/unconditionally; however, to be fair, this is a life-long tug-and-pull for all of us.

As I’ve been teaching my students the past few months in our ‘Fruits in Fullness’ series, fullness and spiritual maturity go hand in hand. The more we pursue fullness with the spiritual fruit we carry, the more others are able to taste and see that it’s good.

That said, we must understand one of the ways the devil prowls after us, especially in a compartmentalizing world, is conditioning our fruit to be conditional.

Check out Genesis 2:16 (AMP): “And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may freely (unconditionally) eat [the fruit] from every tree of the garden.”

Note the freely/unconditionally correlation and how this ties into fruit (albeit, the edible kind), God’s original design for man’s function…not to mention our place in Ephesians 3:19: “and [that you may come] to know [practically, through personal experience] the love of Christ which far surpasses [mere] knowledge [without experience], that you may be filled up [throughout your being] to all the fullness of God [so that you may have the richest experience of God’s presence in your lives, completely filled and flooded with God Himself].”

Again, how awesome is it whatever talk about on here…it all comes back to God’s surpassing love and desire for our highest…our best with Him through Him by Him.

Mufasa tingles, anyone? 😉

Bottom line: Staying with the Ephesians theme…

“…until we all reach oneness in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, [growing spiritually] to become a mature believer, reaching to the measure of the fullness of Christ [manifesting His spiritual completeness and exercising our spiritual gifts in unity]. ~ Ephesians 4:13

Selah.

Cover photos creds: http://julielopes.com/category/spiritual-maturity

3 Ways to Handle Unfair Criticism

August 18, 2017August 18, 2017Leave a comment

If you’ve worked a job long enough, chances are you know what it’s like to be falsely accused. After all, rumors, gossip, backstabbing = just another day in the workplace, right?

Yet, while we can all agree condemnation is never fun, not all may agree on how to overcome; still, as an advocate of reconciliation, I submit even on the darkest of days, there’s always a roadmap to resolve.

To get us there, here are three basic truths we can rely on when coping with unfair rebuke…

1. Don’t take it personally

Let’s be honest: when we receive unfair rebuke, it’s easy to lock into defense mode (i.e. shutting down, walling up, and basing every thought/action around hurt prevention). Sure, we may take the punches, turn the other cheek, heck, we may even get back up again…but at the end of the day, we’re often far too content remaining frozen in cynicism and analysis paralysis (i.e. over-thinking a situation towards indifference).

Perhaps you can relate to a colleague dishing out unnecessary criticism or a supervisor unwilling to hear your side of the story. Maybe you once wanted to rightfully confront an issue, but fearing job security, kept quiet in hope ‘this too shall pass’.

If so, then it’s important no matter what situation you’re in to not take it personally.

‘Cause while offense may feel good in the moment, truth is: it’s never the answer to reproach or resolution.

But Cam…all I want is to be heard and understood. What’s so wrong about that?

Technically, nothing; however, if offense is your default reaction whenever a finger is pointed at you, are you not doing unto the ‘offender’ what you don’t want them doing unto you?

Bottom line: Rather than stack shoulder chips, dare to defend against offense rather than with it. That way you deactivate pride and open the door for humility¹ to enter, which as I’ll explain in my next point, makes taking offense a lot harder.

2. Respond with class

As mentioned in point #1, when unwarranted criticism strikes, human nature often gravitates towards silence. For some of us, this can be a good thing initially (key word) as ‘quiet time’ allows us to process and collect our thoughts; however, at some point, it’s important we respond to critique rather than sweep it under the carpet pretending it didn’t happen.

Case and point: A few years back I had a supervisor who called me out in front of some colleagues before apologizing on my behalf without my consent. At first I was offended. Not only did I have no idea what I’d done wrong, but also why my supervisor would jump the gun without discussing the matter with me one-on-one.

With the wind knocked out of me, I sank in discouragement…disguising hurt as focus. Yet, after realizing my processing was teetering on pouting, I decided if I didn’t want a repeat, I had to confront the issue head on in humility.

To do this, I first acknowledged what I could have done better to diffuse defensiveness and establish submission. Then, I addressed the misunderstandings in a way where context could be delivered and exchanged. Granted, I could have started the dialogue here and the conversation turn out okay; however, I knew if wanted to better learn where my boss was coming from, I had to lay down my walls first.

Thus, if you’re like me in the sense you crave context, always ensure it’s both deliverable and receivable when discussing difficult subject matter. That way you come across as understanding, not withstanding.

Bottom line: In the wake of reproach, keep your responses discernably demonstrative, not irrationally remonstrative.

3. Follow through

As a basketball connoisseur, I’ve always been fascinated with jump shooting. I remember as a little kid riding my bike to the library each summer, picking up some VHS tutorials of Reggie Miller and Ray Allen, and watching them over and over until I mastered that elegant, fluid release (i.e. ‘follow-through’; see definition/instruction/animation below).

How to follow-through (basketball)

Your wrists should be floppy (relaxed).
Fingers should be pointed at the target (rim).
Finish high. You should see your fingers at the top square of the back board.
Hold your follow through position until the ball hits the rim.

What does this have to do with handling wrongful accusation, you say?

Well, in the same way the follow-through allows the hand to maintain motion and guides the ball’s trajectory closer to the basket, focusing on smaller wins² (i.e. baby steps/progress points on your way to recovery/restoration; see examples below) can maintain confidence and guide selflessness after a bruising experience.

Remember who you are is loved and what you’re called to is love. So if you want to ‘peace’ yourself together, why not give yourself an outlet to express that? Yeah, I know it can be overwhelming at first to reach out, especially when you’re trying to mask pain, but as I’ve learned in recent years, when you invest in those small wins, it’s amazing what can result.

Bottom line: If you’re unjustly critiqued, don’t stay low, finish high…and follow-through.

Footnotes

Humility = the pathway to ‘nowhere but up’
‘Small win’ examples = initiating conversation with colleague, seeking advice from mentor, reading the Word/referencing God, praying, taking ungodly thoughts captive, random acts of kindness, re-focusing energy and attention away from pain, etc.)

Cover image creds: Psychology Today (edited by Cameron Fry)

3 Keys to Communicating Vision

July 30, 2017July 30, 20173 Comments

When it comes to quality leadership, no question, one of the hardest challenges is communicating vision (i.e. important information necessary for growth and progress). From filtering content to personal interaction, the marriage of progress to relationship can be a messy process. Thankfully, where there’s a will, there’s a way, even if it doesn’t happen the way we want or when we want.

That said…here are three keys to communicating vision effectively…

Say What You Need to Say

When casting vision, it’s important to remember conciseness is more valuable than eloquence. After all, a platform should never be about exposing what you know (i.e. show off), but rather what your audience needs to know (i.e. show how)…which brings me to my first point:

When communicating what an audience needs to know, start with what you need to say first.

More specifically, don’t just filter your content; break it down into lucid, bite-sized bits. That way, you can better discern what is necessary and what is footnote material before you communicate.

For instance, as a wordsmith in youth ministry, I’ve learned my best points, whether delivering a sermon or leading a team meeting, are best received when they lack syntactic ambiguity. In other words, when I use words and phrases that don’t mean different things to different people, not only do I enable my content to be coherent, but I empower my students to interpret it the way it was intended.

Bottom line: Vision doesn’t just point people in the right direction (i.e. makes it plain; see Romans 1:19), it shows them how to get there (bonus points if you include illustrations). Therefore, if you want your audience to capture the vision, make sure you say what you need to say and what your audience needs to hear, not what you want to say or what they think they want to hear.

Speak the Truth in Love

Yeah, yeah…you get this in theory, but if you’re like me in the sense this doesn’t come as easy in execution, remember you may be in a time crunch, you may have a lot on your plate; however, if you’re not communicating truth in love along the way, not only do you risk a discouraged team, but a disjointed vision split from purpose.

To piggy-back off point #1: what you need to say can’t be what you need to say if love isn’t a part of it. Sure, you may be brimming with epiphanies and award-winning ideas, but if vision isn’t vision without truth and truth isn’t truth without love, then vision can’t be vision detached from best intention.

Remember vision not only seeks the best possible corporate outcome, but inspires love among its enforcers. Thus, if you aim to love, not only will team morale enhance, but the bond between vision and audience will tighten as well.

Bottom line: 1) Without love, vision is nothing more than a good idea. 2) Vision, in the context of love, motivates people to keep pursuing it. 3) If you know the truth, speak it in love; if you don’t, love as you pursue it. Either way, it’s a win-win.

Make it Memorable

While vision, at its core, is the mergence of point #1 and #2, if it lacks conviction or captivation, chances are it’s not memorable either. Granted, truth should never be a function of marketability; however, while good vision knows its audience, great vision considers what they’ll remember.

Hence, it’s worth asking: how do you take an entire vision and frame it into something that’s easy to remember and hard to forget?

For starters, it’s always best to keep it simple and straightforward. Focus on syntax and word selection. Use correct grammar. Be exact in meaning. Then, if necessary, add some flair and poetic license (i.e. turn it into a jingle, structure it ABC style, pose it with rhyme scheme, integrate a relatable metaphor/simile, etc.) Whatever method you apply, remember the goal is to make sure your audience can extend the vision. While making vision plain may seem contrary to making it memorable, if you consider ‘plain’ as the foundation, it will ultimately enable you to build your vision in a way people can understand and promote.

Bottom line: When vision becomes memorable, the impacts become inevitable.

Photo creds: Trendy Bloggers, Giphy

Halftime: 3 Life Lessons From 2017 So Far

July 11, 2017July 13, 20172 Comments

As we approach that magical time when people finally stop shooting fireworks, it’s crazy to think we’re only days past the year’s mid-point. Seriously, does anyone else think the first six months of 2017 had twelve embedded in them?

Either way, if you’re like me, then chances are you’ve experienced quite a lot since the time all acquaintances were last forgot. And while a single blog wouldn’t do justice in capturing the year’s magnitude, it does allow me to reflect on three life lessons learned and re-learned…

More social, less social media

I admit: In my 20’s…I was on social media ~~a little~~ way too much. In fact, it got so bad, I remember arguing with my wife early in our marriage about my perceived unlikability citing red notification bubbles as evidence. Shallow, I know; however, in hindsight, that was a bane I bore…hiding behind the need to ‘turn off’ and catch up on ‘news’, exchanging security for smoke and mirrors as mind went one way and thumbs went another.

But these days the tables have turned. The foremost reason being: I’ve allowed God’s perspective to outweigh all others. Granted, I had to get to that point (which I’ll get to in a second). Still, for the journey to even start, I had to…

a) …die to God’s truth needing validation…

b) …stop using social media as a ‘magic mirror on the wall’ and…

c) …engage my fear of God into the places of rest I was shielding it from.

To do this…I revamped my socio-spiritual diet. I got more intentional having God time before networking time, took ‘leisure’ out of my social media vocabulary, made more concerted efforts to connect in person, and yes, even started removing social media apps after posting. The goal? To dive out of the worlds I wish I could be a part of and re-stake my focus into the one I was in.

Flash-forward to today and I’m still on the recovery road; however, I’m proud to say the distance between ‘social’ and ‘media’ has never been further. Thanks to this first lesson, I’m well on my way moving forward.

To get free, sometimes you gotta get help

When this year started, I was in a depressive rut. I had just come off the worst December of my life after a solid summer/fall stretch. It literally got to the point where I was at my church worshiping with food poisoning thinking I was having a normal Sunday morning experience. Underwater and disoriented, it’s like I didn’t know what was up or down anymore.

Yet, even in my despair, I recall that still, small voice gently whispering, ‘You’re infected. Get help!’ and (*click play*)…

And so the story of 2017 began…not as a climber looking to scale Everest, but an ex-defeated enthusiast eager to learn what would heal him to make another run…

….which brings me to Restoring the Foundations (i.e. the ‘help’).

Honestly, I haven’t yet found the words to describe the impact of my RTF week. All I can say for now is I’ve never been so happy to love myself again…to know hope in my helplessness and joy in my brokenness. Yeah, I may not be satisfied where I’m at, but I am satisfied knowing I am Cameron. I may not be a lot of things, but who I am is a catalyst, a fighter in Christ who finally doesn’t need to be understood to be content. While it’s too early to write a book on this, I can sure as heck write a future blog’s worth so stay tuned on this point…

3. Seasons change so you will too

As mentioned, 2017 has been a year of big (yet mostly under the radar) change as the transition current has picked up. Yet, while the flavor of life has sweetened in recent months, there have been some bitter moments…the kind you wish could be out of mind, but seem out of control.

That said, I’ve been rediscovering how being overwhelmed can be ideal to the extent we allow God’s goodness to overflow us more intimately and intentionally. For instance, in my case, having more responsibility spread out on my plate lately has allowed me to distribute my emotional investments more evenly among different people and situations. Now personalities and assignments I would have struggled with in prior years are easier to handle having learned to let pressure refresh the way I prioritize and manage my care.

So I guess you could say: while the breakthrough has certainly been nice, it couldn’t have possibly happened without God turning up the heat. Perhaps that’s why they say seasons change so we can too.

Selah.

Cover photo creds: Pinterest – Pinimg Originals; video creds: Olan Rogers – “A Cut From the Picture”

Faith at Work: Rethinking Influence

June 8, 2017May 30, 2020Leave a comment

If you’ve been a frequent flyer with us over the years, chances are you know we’re passionate about helping bivocationals bridge the gap between sacred and secular…in living the same way on Monday as they do on Sunday.

But lately I’ve been thinking: What if we’ve been looking at the Sunday –> Monday discussion all wrong?

I know, like many, I’ve heard my share of seasoned voices charging consistency within the body of Christ. Yet, the more I consider this in the context of commissioned marketplace leaders, the more I wonder if the core issue has more to do with connecting our influence than leading from spiritual authority/expertise.

For instance, I may not have the most expert depth relative to my occupation, but I do have the mind of Christ guided by his thoughts and purposes (1 Corinthians 2:16 AMP). Sure, I may be a low man on the totem pole from a corporate hierarchical perspective; however, this doesn’t mean I lack influence.

You see…far too often we get distracted trying to make our spiritual lives stratiform¹. We take the ol’ Sunday adage of not being a once-a-week Christian, convince ourselves we’re not going to be that, then go out and try to extend our church person into “secular” places.

The problem is: if our influence is based on convincing others what we’re about rather than showing them why they’re here, then we can never experience real connection.

Why? ‘Cause real connection can’t happen without interdependent (i.e. two-way) relationship…without people actively investing ‘next step’ direction into one another.

Granted, how we approach compartmentalization and contextual inferences are worth discussion; however, as long as we aspire to share what we were made to know with whom we were made to engage, those issues will ultimately take care of themselves as relationships grow in faithfulness.

No reliance on institutionalizing, exaltation of effort, or Kingdom-izing business.

Just warmly abiding in the effortless rhythms of grace knowing it’s not about our credentials, but God’s competence flowing through them².

Thus, I submit…

If we choose to see leadership as influence and influence as helping people build their own, we allow transformative culture to establish itself.
If we want to get real about reaching people (from purpose), we must first get intentional about connecting our influence (on purpose).
Rather than encourage people to be the same on Monday as they are on Sunday, let’s show them in love how to be better today than they were yesterday.

‘Cause I’ll be honest: I don’t want to be on Monday who I was on Sunday; I want to be better today than the day before. I want to know the best God has in store. And then go out and live that forevermore.

Whatever gap we’re trying to bridge, why not start there? …

Footnotes