Pastor 📖 | Teacher 📚 | Writer | Severe Wx Enthusiast | Champion of the Underdog | Equipping youth & bivocational leaders to live as Christ.
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When we talk about leaders doing ‘leader’ things, it makes sense those things remain above reproach. I think we can all agree there.
However, given leaders are people too, one must remember their mistakes are just as inevitable. Thus, how leaders handle adversity, setbacks, and errors in judgment is worth discussion.
For instance, in my ministerial role, there are times a protective heart can become overprotective if offense (real or perceived) compromises trust. Knowing my weakness, there are moments when I start to feel anxious and troubleshoot a problem before praying into it.
In these moments, I find the best way to realign and reset is humility.
Now, humility is one of my favorite topics, in part, since Jesus sets the ultimate example, not to mention, when I’m healthy, the trait isn’t difficult to employ. Growing up, I wasn’t always teachable, but once I started integrating humility into relational troubleshooting, maturing in meekness became more seamless, clicking into gear the more I realized I needed forgiveness on a daily basis.
In the case of this post’s inspiration, I overstepped a boundary in my attempt to establish one. Despite good intention, the execution was marred by impulse and entitlement. After processing my lapse in judgment, I realized…
To receive grace, one must first accept mercy.
The best way to do this is to yield our humanity to humility.
Applying these two steps, it wasn’t long before I went to my pastor and set up a meeting to apologize to those I offended. The process was exhausting yet liberating to the extent I allowed myself to be a grace filter. The more humility flowed through transparency, the more offense evolved into peace and understanding.
All that said, my point in sharing this story is:
1. Humility is a precious gift but also a powerful weapon and an exit strategy for those tempted to take reconciliation into their own hands. If pride (or any derivative) is like being locked out of your car, humility is the wire hanger that breaks the jam and gets you back to where you need to be.
2. There will be times when we think we’ve got it, only to find we’ve lost it. Thankfully, when we receive grace and apply humility, we become more concerned about what is right than who is wrong. By dying to our right to be right, we essentially find the right way to the right path. That’s the power of humility in action.
As for the month ahead, stay tuned as I plan to revisit my toxic workplace series and unveil some traits of healthy/non-toxic work cultures.
‘Til then, stay humble, my friends, and consider praying in the Bible verses below.
So yesterday I’m reading Mark 5 and it hits me: Why does Jesus tell the once demon-possessed man to go home to his people and tell them how much the Lord has done for him (v. 19), but gives strict orders to the sleeping girl’s family not to let anyone know about her miraculous healing (v. 43)?
At first glance, Jesus seems inconsistent. Why tell one party one thing and contradict it with another?
I mean…yeah, Jesus was always yielded to the Father following the Spirit’s lead. Fair enough. Still, I can’t help but dive a little deeper. As always, let’s grab a shovel and dig in.
Scripture/Observations
In Mark 5:1, we find Jesus, fresh off of calming a tempest (4:35-41), crossing the lake to Garasenes, a country region lying on the east side of the Sea of Galilee. Upon arrival, a demon-possessed man decked with torn chains coming out from the tombs approaches Jesus (Spooky, right? Talk about the ultimate Halloween Bible read). Once within range, the demon reveals itself as Legion (“for we are many” – v. 9) and begs to be cast into swine. From there, Jesus grants the request and inspires the man to proclaim the good news of what He had done John 4 style.
Now, check out v. 21: “When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around Him while He was by the lake.”
Like similar encounters, we see life flocking to Jesus upon arrival, perhaps more causal than coincidence given the west side was more populated, not to mention Jesus’ reputation had established momentum. Yet, it’s here I want to pause to highlight a key contrast.
When Jesus arrives at Gerasenes, how many people come to him? At least one that we know of, right? How about the flip side? If you said ‘large crowd’, you’d be correct. Granted, the population difference may seem like a subtle detail; however, when we stack it against proceeding context, we see its connection to part of the answer.
That answer, you ask?
I’ll get to that shortly. For now, we must understand the correlation between Jesus’ intimacy with the Father and how this enabled Him to know the best way to unleash the truth. In the case of Mark 5, Jesus, having already revealed His nature on the west side, knew the best way for the good news to spread at Gerasesnes was for the ex-possessed man to ‘go tell it on the mountain’. After all, what occurred at the Decapolis post-healing centered, in part, on Jesus’ identity being made known to the masses.
Yet, as I teased earlier, the truth of Jesus’ identity was already spreading on the west side. Therefore, it’s fair to say Jesus’ cross-country trek was just as much about manifesting love through power as it was confirming the truth of who He was (see v. 25-34).
Quick side note: I find it amusing how ‘crowd’ is mentioned not once, not twice, but five times between v. 21-31. If in fact the author intended the reader to grasp the chaotic backdrop, mission accomplished. The point here, I submit, is less about Jesus having to endure uncomfortable circumstances than it is Him loving in spite of them. Imagine having zero personal space, teaching to the culprits responsible, and being interrupted mid-sermon setting commotions between people crying and wailing loudly (v. 27). I’d probably lose my mind and grey my hair all at once!
But not Jesus. Instead, look at how unruffled he is, first in v. 36 when he says, ‘Don’t be afraid; just believe’ in response to the disciples telling Jairus’ people, ‘Why bother the teacher anymore?’ and second in v. 39 when he says, ‘The child is not dead but asleep’ after the entire house thought Jairus’ daughter was dead.
Seriously, it’s like Jesus is calming a second storm here.
Now, for most, the story ends here, but the truth is Jesus had one more thing to say before peacing out, which in my paraphrasing, goes something like ‘Shhh! What happens here, stays here.’
But again, why would Jesus demand this? Well, go back to v. 36: ‘Don’t be afraid; just believe.’
Throughout this whole chapter, we’ve seen three miracles, three transfers of power; however, this doesn’t mean Jesus was on the ‘power play’. Rather, Jesus was on a mission to inspire belief in people’s hearts. Accordingly, we can assume what mattered most to Jesus more than signs, more than miracles was the truth of His Word.
In this context, Jesus knew if He allowed the news to break in synagogue central, it would lead to a major distraction. Remember there was enough pandemonium leading up to Jesus’ encounter with the little girl. Any more attention would likely have caused an uproar and reduce Jesus to the role of ringmaster. How fascinating it is to see how timely silence was sometimes part of Jesus’ strategy to further the Gospel!
Bottom line: While Jesus was Spirit led in all He said and did, He also discerned the theology of the land and time He was in as He constantly yielded to the Father. As a result, Jesus was able to reach more people through love and teach them with the truth and power of his Word.
As I continue to work on Juju’s book, I wanted to share one of my new excerpts. Still making progress one piece at a time…
One of my favorite first quarter moments of Jubilee’s life came during her transfer from Centennial Women’s Hospital to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital. As 2022 dawned, hopes were high this move would help improve her health thanks to a more structured environment. After all, more screens, new equipment, and seasoned staff could only accelerate the healing.
Yet, for the rest of the family, we needed a spark as well. As they say, desperate times call for desperate measures and in seasons of chaos, you have to take what you can get, even if that special something is animated fiction. Hence, our corporate satisfaction when we watched the new Disney classic, Encanto, for the first time. As if God had orchestrated the timing just for us, the movie centers on a single word with a multitude of meanings, some good, some bittersweet. That word…
…was ‘miracle’.
Before Jubilee, if someone mentioned ‘miracle’ in conversation, Lyssah and I would have responded favorably upon knowing the context. Based on our belief, signs and miracles are still relevant today as authored by a sovereign God. While man often yearns for a miracle on specific terms, the purpose of any heaven meets earth miracle, even if delayed or unforeseen, is perfect. Sure, we may not understand the breadth and scope of the parameters, but I mean, isn’t that one of the fundamental conditions of any miracle in that it could look differently than what we expect? Shouldn’t a miracle be transcendent, mysterious, and challenge us to consider the benevolent hands of an almighty God? Or are we so jealous and zealous to assess the unexplainable with explicable rationale?
Frankly, the reason we sometimes fail to see God in our midst is because we haven’t cultivated the sensitivity required to sense His presence. Like the Sadducees and Jewish priests, we have in our minds a checklist of what must happen in our favor for God to be true to who He says He is. We think His love, goodness, any tangential trait is contingent upon us having proof of Him hearing us when the fact is God hears us through the cries of humble prayer. In other words, how we ask of God reveals what we believe of God. So, when we pray for a specific outcome in ‘miracle or bust’ fashion, we ultimately weaken the hope we crave by making it conditional. And for what? To feel in control? To have the assurance of being on the right path doing all that we can?
Having spent 393 days in the NICU, I can confirm the depths of desperation that flood those halls. What’s less certain is the integrity of their hope or as I like to say, the width of their anticipation. For Lyssah and I, we not only approached each day as if it was Juju’s last but considered the pathways of her life and the ways God could use each outcome. Were our prayers anchored in health and life in abundance? Of course! However, we also knew to pray what Jesus prayed in Gethsemane: Not my will but yours be done. So, while we were in unprecedented territory, striving to care for an afflicted daughter, we knew we could only see a sliver of God’s infinite perspective. This is why trusting God became more effortless the more we kept in a prayerful rhythm. Whenever we caught ourselves wanting God’s will to conform to our requests, we called on God in our weakness recognizing any display of spiritual discipline was for His glory and to His credit.
Back to Encanto. If you’ve seen the movie, you know the story of Mirabel, who in an enchanted home full of gifted family members, is the only ordinary member. Although she strives for her Abuela’s approval, she struggles to find acceptance based on receiving a gift from Casita, the family house and source of the magic. Accordingly, she grows up feeling inferior wondering why the magic passed her by. No question, her grief is no greater captured than in the song, ‘Waiting on a Miracle’. Take a look at these lyrics:
I can’t move the mountains I can’t make the flowers bloom I can’t take another night up in my room Waiting on a miracle I can’t heal what’s broken Can’t control the morning rain or a hurricane Can’t keep down the unspoken invisible pain Always waiting on a miracle, a miracle All I need is a change All I need is a chance All I know is I can’t stay on the side Open your eyes, open your eyes, open your eyes I would move the mountains Make new trees and flowers grow Someone please just let me know, where do I go? I am waiting on a miracle, a miracle I would heal what’s broken Show this family something new Who I am inside, so what can I do? I’m sick of waiting on a miracle, so here I go I am ready, come on, I’m ready I’ve been patient, and steadfast, and steady Bless me now as you blessed us all those years ago When you gave us a miracle Am I too late for a miracle?
You talk about a heart cry in anguish. Of all the Disney movies in which the protagonist confronts her despair, Encanto arguably takes the top spot.
Moments after this confession, a mystical danger emerges and threatens to eradicate the magic. That’s when Mirabel summons the courage to not only rise above her despair but also restore order and unite divided family members, reminding them the miracle is not the gift but the giftee as part of the overall family journey.
Why is this important? Because the movie confirms an aspect of how God works His wonder. Specifically, a miracle isn’t limited to answered prayer since a miracle is not about what we get over but what we get through. In His Word, God doesn’t promise us we’ll get over everything but He does promise we’ll get through anything. In our case with Jubilee, while our prayers for her to survive the NICU and make it home did not materialize, as our hearts healed, we learned to see her miracle as the impact she made on the thousands of lives, including us, shattering medical expectations and probabilities along the way.
Yet, even if she hadn’t survived past day one, the miracle of her life would have still been clinched. For even as we contended with God in our pain, He enlarged our capacity to sense the sweetness of His nearness, His tender hand holding ours. Were there some days we were beyond angry? Absolutely. There may have been a choice word or two. But in the end, we recognized God as the one who gives purpose, resets our perspective, and redeem fallenness and fallen spirits alike during moments, especially in seasons of grief.
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Even with Mirabel and Abuela reconciling at the end of Encanto, the question still remains for those who feel they lost a miracle with their child’s passing. Surely, I’m not alone when I say it’s easy to feel alone though the Bible speaks to the contrary.
For instance, I believe whole-heartedly in Isaiah 41:10 but struggled to believe it fully after Jubilee’s death.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
In my mind, the truth had become conditional, like an expired contract or coupon. At one point God was strengthening us, helping us, imparting the supernatural, but not anymore, or so I thought. With no more life to sustain, the upholding felt more like withholding. Deep down, I knew God was still God, but couldn’t connect the dots of a passage once absolute, now more theoretical. At some point, I had to accept my belief process as the primary problem, specifically in God’s upholding hand being a dependent variable.
In our case, God’s ability and capacity to keep Jubilee alive had become a middle wheel teetering on the edge of legalistic perspective. In desperation, we prayed without ceasing and never stopped believing in God’s wonder working power; however, there were some days we felt the fear of what would happen if we stopped. As such, our faith, incomplete as it was, sometimes served as a false catalyst, subconsciously greasing the true wheel of God’s sovereign hand. On days Jubilee was doing well, God had his foot more firmly on the gas petal. On days she was struggling, He may or may not have been waiting for us to press in and request some aspect of His nature to intervene.
Thankfully, the reality of Isaiah 41:10’s conclusion eventually found us to awaken alignment. For the upholdings of God are not subject to words and beliefs of man. By no means, is God in any way driven by our righteousness, given any earthly display is a direct reflection of the divine in the first place. When Isaiah says God will strengthen, help, and uphold you, he’s not suggesting these actions are chained to outcomes but rather the eternal, perpetual essence of His nature. If there is a joy to grab hold of within this verse, it’s the steadfastness of His hand in all situations. As Lys and I wrestle through our grief, we realized the tangibility of God’s constancy is just as much in the heartbreak of disappointment, if not more so, than its prelude. With the Beatitudes in mind, when hearts and heads are heavy-laden, that is when God’s upholdings are at their best so we can sense Jesus saying ‘Come to me’, so we can hear His call.
Does this sound like we’re alone? As if a fear of loneliness has a legitimate place?
I didn’t think so. In no realm are we truly alone, despite what the NICU may tempt us to believe. True, the hospital halls can seem like a secluded place where we feel fight our battles alone. But that’s when we must remember and believe God’s Word. As Point of Grace once sung, when it looks like you’ve lost it all and you haven’t got a prayer, Jesus will still be there. Hence, why we fight the good fight of faith and confess the goodness of God (1 Timothy 6:12) in all situations so those who lack hope will see a glimmer of it.
I suppose that’s one of the key silver linings in Juju’s life. As she fought against all odds, she compelled us to see God amidst the chaos and challenged us to appreciate the trials in real time. Just as light shines brighter in darkness, so does perspective sharpen during adversity. If I’m dealing with greater pain, whether physically, spiritually, or emotionally, so must I desire God to be greater. So must I crave His presence and peace as crooked roads are made straight. And the choice for us can be a net encouragement in perceiving NICU stress as a way to desire God the right way, a purifier of our thirst for ‘more’ of God.
Perhaps this is why I love the redemptive conclusion of Encanto. For starters, we shouldn’t want more of God’s magic to sustain the miracle of health. Rather, we should perceive the miracle as Trinitarian life, life that was, life that is, and life that will be. Trust me, I get how hard it is to accept this truth when our precious candles have burned out. Yet, as dear to our hearts our offspring may be, the miracle goes beyond the flesh and touches the divine in ways that daily inspire. Just as mothers carry the DNA of her children for the rest of her life, so too can we sustain the memory of God’s sustaining us in our darkest hours.
We carry on not because we want to be carried but because the carry is imminent. This is the paradigm shift any NICU parent must embrace when they inevitably question whether God will strengthen them in moments of weakness.
I’m sitting in a Wendy’s watching Jesus of Nazareth (1977) for the 24th straight spring. My car just down the street getting that Midas touch, not exactly how I envisioned my Saturday afternoon when the day started. However, I have a laptop. I’m submerged in holy content. I have what I need to preserve a meaningful tradition. Let the Holy Saturday illuminations begin…
As some of you know, each year, I pick an obscure part of the Resurrection narrative to dissect, some closer to the Cross than others. This year, I want to discuss the Zealot component, specifically the contrast between Simon and Judas who prior to Jesus’ condemnation, wrestle with their idea of Jesus’ Messiahship.
While not much is said directly regarding Simon, we can deduce a few truths about his upbringing:
He was saturated in extremist notions and conditioned by a pack hell-bent on retaliation and reciprocity,
He heard the teachings of Jesus and was inspired to lay down the cause of vengeance against the Romans.
He became a disciple after realizing change would come internally, not externally.
The Bible also notes Simon’s whereabouts (Matthew 10:4; Mark 3:18; Luke 6:15, Acts 1:13), proving he, like the other disciples not named Judas, was anointed and appointed to spread the gospel and lay down church foundation in the process. Essentially, the Romans Road in the midst of Roman oppression was more than a pathway for Simon but also a revelation of God’s Kingdom being encountered through repentance as opposed to force. While implied, Simon’s willingness to let go of the past as well as toxic relationships and attached paradigms, models the type of practical sacrifice we must sometimes make to advance the influence and ways of God.
As for Judas, we find a stronger stubbornness in releasing ambitions and presumptions. Blessed with a scholarly mind, the ‘wisdom’ of Judas was more based in rationale and divine proximity than faith and intent to surrender. Blinded by grandiose expectations and Satan alike, Judas seldom operated outside of agenda during His time with Jesus; hence, why Judas never repented when remorseful as unlike Simon, the lifeblood of Jesus’ message never sunk in. Granted, for Jesus’ mission to be realized, he needed to be condemned and crucified first, which couldn’t have happened without a mole, a son of perdition (John 17:12) as prophesied in Zechariah. A scapegoat setting up the sacrificial Lamb, one can only imagine what would have happened to Judas had he held out a little longer and received grace in Peter-esque fashion.
Either way, while Judas’ fate was sealed by his transgressions and refusal to repent, there’s a peace to derive from his part in Gospel history. For all have fallen short of the glory of God and have been blinded by the enemy within the context of sovereignty. Yet, even in the midst of high-level rebellion and disobedience, God’s purposes cannot and will not be thwarted. While Judas’ demise is a cautionary tale, we can humbly relate to his shortcomings, knowing there have been times in our own lives we have wanted God to manifest on our own terms. If any of you reading this have ever craved freedom in a way that made sense, remember the joy of the Cross set before you. Show compassion. Receive forgiveness, Carry on.
As for the rest of us, may we marvel at Christ’s exhibition of rightly aligned passion and change course in the direction of Jesus courtesy of Simon’s example. Before kingdoms change, the hearts of men must change (Isaiah 32:1-5) and in this era of chaos and uncertainty, let’s appreciate how the prophecies of old eclipsed by the Cross still have resounding relevance today.
In my last post, I examined the first four of seven toxic workplace traits and provided Biblical support to each section. For today, I want to conclude this series with my final three attributes along with a recap pod summarizing my points. As a reminder, while we’re exploring cultural and environmental red flags, we’re not hiding from leadership issues as the topics ultimately cannot be detached.
Without further ado, let’s tie a bow on this…
5) Inconsistent Leadership
When we talk about toxic work cultures, there are several dismissive characteristics we could cite from narcissism to manipulation to arrogance; however, there’s one, in particular, encompassing a multitude and that is incongruence (I.e. when a person’s actions contrast their words).
Ask any leader or tenured employee with authority and they’ll admit responsibility and accountability are essential to positive team performance and morale. Yet, where there are inconsistencies between expectation and execution, there is room for misinterpretation, miscommunication, tolerance, even negative emulation down the line.
The good news here is the fix doesn’t have to be complicated: If you’re a team lead, supervisor, or director, walk the talk.
For example, if you say you’re not a micromanager, don’t micromanage, even if your intent is to the contrary. Rather, assess your intent to probe past normality and be willing to receive feedback if the actions involved communicate distrust or produce uncomfortable vibes. Remember seeking clarity is one thing but second-guessing motives without compassion, grace, and understanding is another.
If you struggle to model any of these qualities, dare to explore any area where intention and action aren’t aligned. Naturally, no one should want to be inconsistent in their work; hence, why leaders especially should understand consistency isn’t limited to the fruit of one’s hands but also the words of their mouth and the reflections of their heart.
To be fair, this point flows from the one prior, but based on perceived abuse, this warrants a separate explanation. If you say certain actions won’t be tolerated, don’t make the principles behind them conditional. Instead of granting exceptions based on seat or situation, handle moral failures and detrimental conducts consistently regardless if the person involved in an established personality or rookie within their probationary period.
From what I’ve seen, the top-down ripple effect of steady rationale and decision making can be empowering in the long term, even if it’s messy in the short term. Whenever trust bends or breaks, abiding by proper protocol will not only enhance security but also encourage people to adhere to higher standards of integrity.
Put another way, if you’re a leader, don’t sacrifice reproach by synonymizing forgiveness and tolerance. If an employee has an established track record of poor conduct, scale the offense, and timely oversee the appropriate actions in a way that benefits the whole of the team. When in doubt, just say ‘no’ to permissiveness and ‘yes’ to due diligence and follow-through.
No workplace is perfect, and employees, leaders and teams may display negative traits from time to time. However, if that behavior is pervasive, leadership must consider how the culture they’ve cultivated may be impacting the trend. Unless a single employee is the root of the hostility, a leader best serves their company by investigating beyond the conflict into its source region.
Often, if an employee starts deregulating, there’s a corporate tie-in, be it a lack of recognition/development, unclear communications, and/or insecurity. Yet, even if these currents aren’t underlying, there could be larger problems involving personal, domestic, and/or health issues, which leads me to a key point:
When a work boundary is breached, don’t automatically assume ill-intent but gauge the transparency of your corporate principles and reassess them before the repercussions.
Handled the right way, a potentially volatile situation can de-escalate into a refreshing reset when humility meets resolution. Conversely, if a leadership committee lacks awareness and accountability, the employee will almost always follow suit.
For instance, you may have a teammate or subordinate who acts ignorantly at times. Yet perhaps he/she feels ignored, like a number within a company that hoards autonomy and withholds clarity. In these cases, don’t deal with the contention topically but with meekness that anticipates understanding.
‘Cause truth is: If leaders and teams don’t take inventory of their internal processes and how they affect personnel, discouragement, even burn-out will inevitably result. Why not rightfully deal and scale tension internally before your clients and supporters smell smoke?
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