The Right [of] Way: A Farewell to TDOT

It’s a cold day [at TPAC] as I take this final skyline glance.

Vacancies once held now seven years of vibrancies starring back at me. Crazy how a city can reflect what you already know – the fact life is a highway built on and by dust…the cold yet beautiful reality that life is a vapor because it was spoken into by such.

Still, the question remains…

 How can one possibly capture a septennial’s worth of growth? Or put into words a spiritual journey equivalent to a Sahara crossing with one camel and a military canteen?

Whatever the answer, I won’t shy from letting words fly given this post is ultimately a testimony to God’s sovereignty. As such, I encourage you: Don’t read this as a summary of one man’s odyssey, but a synthesis of God’s faithfulness to transform.

Prologue aside, let’s dive in…

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When I started with TDOT Finance in April 2012, life was a bull market. From Lyssah to LEGACYouth to graduate school, everything seemed fresh and exciting. For the first time in years, I was enjoying all aspects of life – a stark contrast to the brutal four years preceding.

Yet, by fall 2013, many of these facets began to settle. While most things ministry and marriage-wise were flourishing, the same couldn’t be said about work. After a “promotion” from Budget to Payables, I struggled not only adjusting to the position but having to be in it at all. Unlike the two generations of Fry’s before me, I couldn’t support my family through pastoral ministry alone. Consequently, I often clocked in already feeling like a failure…like I didn’t belong.

And so, I vilified the culture, my 7-3:30 reality a necessary evil disguised as a reincarnated Matrix.

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On the surface, I was pressing on, but deep down, I was defeated, a prisoner of my own narrative. To be free was to be out, but I had no escape plan. Just a spray of mental splinters reminding me I had nothing to offer.

For years, I believed the lie my value couldn’t be realized at TDOT. While I was able to return to Budget by summer 2014, by then, the early stages of depression had settled in. Driven by lingering guilt from past seasons, it was clear the fight to tame my despair was not being helped at work. If anything, the lack of voice and professional development only compounded the problem. Perhaps had I not compartmentalized my ‘loved by God’ identity, these voids wouldn’t have hindered the way they did.

Either way, by January 2015, my disdain for the work culture had finally trickled into disdain for certain people. No longer could I emotionally separate the two. Like a house divided, my joy was one-sided with each day an elevator countdown and a prayer against hopelessness. Long gone were the days I could thrive; I just wanted to survive.

And yet, life was fantastic behind the scenes. For starters, all things family and LEGACYouth continued to bloom – the best years coinciding with the worse years at TDOT. I was coming off a solid two year run at MTSU where I received my Master’s in Education: Instruction and Curriculum. And to cap it off, after hitting three years in youth ministry, I was had started working towards my licensure with Messenger Fellowship.

However, the major plot turn came during spring 2015 when I started to sense God’s call to create a written resource for vocationals¹. At first, I questioned if this word was from God given the timing made no sense. Not only did I feel disqualified, but emotionally unprepared to tackle such a task. Who was I to say ‘yes’ in light of where my heart was at?

But looking back, perhaps I shouldn’t have been so surprised considering…

  1. Even in our darkest hours, God is faithful to stir in ‘content’ despite our discontent.

  2. It’s often in the places we’re snake-bitten where God wants to deliver healing and entrust authority.

At any rate, after months of underground writing, His Girl Fryday published during summer 2015 to a humble following of 25 followers with biweekly posts and a podcast launch a few years after. But for TDOT, the key takeaway was the big picture – the fact God would use a special project to erode my heart of stone and transform it back into a heart of flesh. After all, it’s hard to stay mad at the marketplace when marketplace people represent your target audience. I guess that’s why they say, ‘God is without a sense of humor’.

Flash-forward to January 2019 and my heart is three years softer towards all things TDOT. Granted, there were some tough days; however, the inner maturation was now at a point I could daily choose joy, declare gratitude, and receive rest. Having learned a new rhythm of releasing, rarely did I carry anxiety into a new day. By God’s strength and power, I was being renewed regularly and refreshed in the mundane.

By early February, a new assignment had emerged, this time a Bible study open to all TDOT employees. As the Lord assured me, the inner man was ready to lead a charge that hadn’t been attempted in over two decades. A drive I would have laughed at four years prior, now a Spirit-led operation to plant a community of God’s presence. Using a mix of His Girl Fryday and Messenger Fellowship/Commission U content, I began to translate church-speak discipleship into digestible vocational dialogue. Though attendance rarely hit double-digits, the study would ignite a few more throughout the James K. Polk building. At last, the final chapter of my seven-year TDOT journey was complete.

By now, I bet you’re wondering…

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And to that, I’d reply: The point is the story itself and the source it comes from. The way I see it, God permitted my TDOT landing so I could learn how to abide in a place I didn’t fit and love within a culture I didn’t understand. Along the way, I discovered how much more Jesus I needed…how I couldn’t possibly love and lead without His daily presence manifesting as sustaining power. I also tasted the bitter dregs of indifference, resentment, and what it’s like to project insecurity onto those mirroring your own struggle. If only I received correction without assuming gracelessness, no question, much grief during my time at TDOT could have been spared.

Still, when I look back on my TDOT tenure, what I’ll ultimately remember are the seven wonderful years I had to grow in my professionalism. Could have I been sent to more trainings, webinars, and conferences? Yes. Was it difficult being a travel specialist getting to send people all over the country without being able to join them? Absolutely.

Yet, at day’s end, all this is moot.

For many are the miles, but few are the meters to loving your neighbor. Much is the work, but much more are the people who work it.

Therefore, whether we’re CPA’s or ASA’s2, remember what matters is faith, hope, and love channeled through attitude, integrity, and legacy. The road may not always be easy, but as long as we stay the course, the freedom and ripening we crave will come.

As for now, I relish this moment to say, ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’ not only to my TDOT family, but every breakthrough, confrontation, and endeavor that has occurred the past seven years. What started as a single man looking for occupational and financial stability has ended with a family of five finding spiritual and vocational stability in the places that matter most.

One line ends, another begins. No question, I’m on a higher precipice thanks to what I learned here.

‘Til next time, here’s to the next and the undeniable truth that the best is yet to come…

Selah.

 

 

Footnotes

  1. Particularly those in ministry and marketplace simultaneously
  2. Admin support assistants
Graphic creds: Skyscrapercenter, Alchetron

Staying Strong in the Void of Calm (October Recap Ed.)

I admit: I have not been in a writing mood this month.

Baby Milo, new job prospects, freelancing gigs, totaled car, family health issues…no question, there’s been much to handle in recent weeks. But amidst the turbulence, there have been silver linings – rays of strength in voids of calm. And while there’s much I don’t know in this state of processing, what I do know is we often discover new levels of courage during life’s greatest challenges.

So for today, I want to get real, raw, and a little freestyled about what the past month has been for me and family.

‘Cause truth is: Our response to crisis and unforeseen trauma is crucial; yet, it’s our heart towards God in the midst of chaos that defines whether we see Him as a momentary provider or persistent sustainer.

Real quick, before I forget: If you’re reading this and feel outside your comfort zone, rejoice! You’re probably doing something right or better put, right where you need to be. Be at peace, receive the calming of the seas within, and don’t look back.

That said, let’s dig in…

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As mentioned, October was a roller coaster month with memorable highs and freaky lows. The fun and games started back on October 7 when Lyssah was diagnosed with gestational hypertension. Coming off this appointment, we were only mildly concerned knowing we were close to Milo’s due date, not to mention we now had a valid reason to designate ministerial assignments. What we weren’t ready for was the nasty stomach virus spreading through our family starting with Everly then me, Caeden, and Lyssah respectively. While the bug left me quickly and unscathed, the same could not be said for Lyssah.

I’ll let my October 10th post do the talking…

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As you can see, the episode ran a gauntlet of fear, mainly preeclampsia and early induction. Thankfully, while our collective nerves had been rattled, none of these issues verified. Despite the modest scare, the event was now mellowing to background prologue. Surely Milo’s labor and delivery would be uphill in comparison…

Birth story recap: https://hisgirlfryday.com/2019/10/25/birth-story-staying-strong-in-the-void-of-calm/

Long story short, strength had gained momentum heading into Milo’s birth weekend thanks, in large part, to our surprise emergency excursion; however, this impetus could not have happened without deferred fear and supernatural strength adrenaline. For instance, throughout the Dickson Tristar ordeal, I’d often catch myself wondering, “How am I doing so well amidst this turmoil? I should be freakin’ out right now. This is unchartered territory. I don’t how to handle all this!” Yet, time and time again, I’d land on a familiar tune, beating into heart as if it had been on loop for days…

Don’t just ‘not stop’ and keep going, but stop making sense of my strength…and just receive it.

Ahhh, just receive it. Sounds easier said than done, right? Like fortune-cookie wisdom disguised as solicited sarcasm or oversimplified commentary on complex theology. But as the ‘tune’ advised, when ‘try’ and ‘do’ become excluded, the right option becomes an effortless decision, and perseverance is made practical, who’s to say receiving divine strength has to be challenging?

As Lys and I discussed with our doula, sometimes abiding in Christ is simply allowing God to prop us up when falling seems like the only option. Even as waves of crap are hitting the fan, by recognizing the proximity and sovereignty of God, we can experience a higher confidence never thought possible. Granted, it may seem counter-intuitive at first; however, as embracing God’s strength in weakness becomes rhythm, it’s not long until we find rest and rise to our aim.

For example, when I crashed my car in a four-vehicle accident a few Friday’s ago, I could have easily catered to disappointment wondering ‘why me‘ or ‘why God‘; however, having exercised my focus to ‘help me‘ and ‘help God‘ in prior troubles, my dependence was locked into gratitude.

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Of course, sitting in a totaled car on an interstate median is never fun. But again, as the Spirit reminded me, it can be when you count your blessings and declare praise knowing you and God’s best are still alive. Come to think of it, I wonder why we often say, ‘it could have been worse‘ when to use it implies a contrast of an inferior outcome to the worst possible one. Shouldn’t we go the other way and gauge reality through the ‘new’ that is to come?

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Whatever the case, whether you’re walking through hell or a level of purgatory, what ultimately matters is knowing a) you’re perpetually loved by One who has your front and your back and b) even in your darkest hours, you can worship through staccato cries for help.

As for how one stays strong in the void of calm? Frankly, there are many ways, but perhaps the shortest and sweetest one is this: Draw near, surrender fear, pray on the fly, don’t wonder why…just rely. Again, this takes years to learn and is handily theorized outside moments of stress; however, by committing to these steps ahead of the heat, you’ll be primed for God’s power during it. Like conquering any temptation, the winning move doesn’t start at the point of testing, but well before it (more on this in a later post).

For now, I’ll conclude with this: Though this breakthrough may sound basic to some, for the first time in forever, I’m pressing through pain without making sense of it, content in knowing what I don’t immediately understand will eventually be understood. And while I get the value in devotionals and specialized guides on handling conflict, there’s something to be said when God shows up in a fresh way, does an expanding work in your heart, and it’s not contingent on whether or not you ask for it.

He just shows up and pours in…because that’s who He is.

Selah.

As mentioned in my last pod, Lys and I will try (key word) to air a new pod on all this before 2020. Until then, feast on these verses (ESV/AMV), receive them whether or not you’re in a storm, and know if all you got is, ‘Help me, God‘, ‘Hallelujah‘ or ‘I need you, Jesus‘, God considers it a fragrant offering.

2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.”

Psalm 107:29-30 – “He caused the storm to be still so that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet, So He guided them to their desired haven.”

John 14:27Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”

Psalm 37:7-9 – “Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. Cease from anger and forsake wrath; Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers will be cut off, But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land.

Psalm 46:10 – Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Isaiah 43:2 – When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned and the flame shall not consume you.

Halftime: Reflections on 2019 and the Road Ahead

It’s a rainy day in Marais when the light comes on.

Like Yusuf’s dream in Inception, there’s much noise in this gothic paradise. A sleepy ambiance met by projections reminding me 4,357 miles isn’t enough to hide from the past.

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But the scene, at least, is a start. What I’ve desired for years…now a temporary reality. Finally, I’m not in familiar territory. For once, it feels right to be an alien.

Wife in hand, this stroll along an endless alleyway of cafés reaches a final turn. This walk to remember a fitting yet haunting reminder to how far we’ve come in nine months…and how far we still have to go.

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I dare not repeat last year’s tale with context so easily accessible these days. I guess if there’s anything worth saying, it’s nothing you haven’t heard before.

We are all works in progress. I, like many, drifting high in the ranks wondering…

…How can one feel stronger and weaker at the same time?

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For instance, four, five plus years ago, I would have needed someone to acknowledge growth to feel it was genuine. I would have needed positive affirmation, especially from peers, to believe I had something to offer.

But this year, that insecurity has faded into a fastened peace. Sustained victory, once foreign, now an emerging trend in a maturing faith. No longer do I see my value as accomplishments divided by voids. No longer am I trying to please people. No longer am I finding meaning in ego.

Progress. It’s a beautiful thing.

Of course, this doesn’t mean I’m no longer finding security in what I once feared (i.e. loneliness and escape). Or that there aren’t days when I feel like a UFO standing in the rain…

…going down but still the same.

Indeed, the upticks are real, but there are plenty of days when all I can do is stand…

…and I long the norm to be ‘run‘ again.

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On paper, there’s much to be excited about. The countdown to Milo. Lys thriving as a children’s pastor at our home church. Caeden and Everly are better than ever. Projects like His Girl Fryday, Fry Freelance, Commission U, Momma Wears Many Hats looking to take flight.

I get what the tab says.

At the same time, the year has been unique for other reasons. My closest colleagues at work are now gone. God-given assignments are struggling for traction. And for the first time in years, I’m pouring into roles I may not ever occupy.

In all things, courage is a daily choice amidst the hustle, especially on days when I feel surrounded by enemies…when I wish I could have more time with those who had something to pour in.

But it’s those moments when I’m reminded how thankful I am for…thanksgiving. Honestly, I don’t know how God’s joy as strength would be possible otherwise.

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If 2019 has taught me anything, it’s how poor I am in receiving from the Lord. Call it a burden of heritage. Call it self-preservation. Call it a performance mentality on its last leg. Either way, I’d much rather sow into people on an empty tank than not be sowed into at all. I figure worst case, I’m at least getting somewhere while doing something right.

But there is a best case…and it’s one I’m basking in as I write this: As much as we want to open certain eyes and reconcile the impossible, I believe in all we say and do there’s always a way to worship God with one hand up (raised) and one hand out (open-palmed)…a way to exalt Him with hopeful expectation regardless of circumstance.

No entitlement. No efforting. Just faith and hunger colliding into total praise. Abiding simplified in its purest form.

As I told Lys last week, when crap hits the fan, I never want to take the easy way out; I want to take the simple way out. Sure, life may get complicated, but that doesn’t mean my reactions have to be. Christ’s power in me, I can possess my emotions. I can see the ‘God problem’ behind the ‘person problem’. And I can endure with perseverance as I receive His rest, especially when it doesn’t make sense.

After all…

…perseverance isn’t a means to strength, but a means to endure when strength is lacking.

Granted, who am I to say ‘be strong’ when my first daily checklist item is ‘take Bupropion’. Seems I should be free of that sorta thing if I’m to break out and do what I was meant to.

Then again, in a year that started with three antidepressants, maybe being down to one is an apposite microcosm…

…to one who’s not only making it, but shaking it off and shaking it out.

Slowly but surely…

…the best is yet to come.

Selah.

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Cover photo creds: HDWallpapers

 

Intentional to Be Intentional

Intentional.

We like to throw the word around, don’t we?

Granted, not intentionally¹, but enough we risk growing desensitized, even numb, to its mention.

Perhaps you’re like me wondering how to take not only your goal-setting, but your intentionality to the next level in 2019. If so, consider the following question:

How do we  become more intentional in our intentionality?’

For while most understand intentionality implies an upgrade in dedication…as being more mindful more often…not nearly as many see the term as anything more than the sum of its google definitions…
…which leads me to my first point.

Point 1: To embrace intentionality we must first see its core as covenantal commitment. For all you resolution setters out there, this is imperative to keep in mind. To achieve any goal with purpose, you must not only count the cost, but weigh it against an appointed strategy (more on this in a moment).

“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” ~ Luke 14:28 (ESV)

Furthermore, it’s worth noting whenever we appropriate a particular cost, we’re also considering the promises and blessings of God (see how God institutes his covenants with the patriachs in Genesis). As such, to be intentional is to examine the faithfulness of God in all three time dimensions (i.e. past, present, future).

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Point 2: To embrace intentionality, we must view it as a relational/communal experience as opposed to individual effort. Like point 1, this concept is necessary both for pursuing the dreams/visions God plants as well as the sustaining of them.

Note how the Psalmist discerns God as one who delegates and journeys with us through the obedience…

Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon those who fear Him [and worship Him with awe-inspired reverence and obedience], On those who hope [confidently] in His compassion and lovingkindness.” ~ Psalm 33:18 (AMP)

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become restless and disturbed within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence? Why are you in despair, O my soul? Why have you become restless and disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.”” ~ Psalm 42:5,11 (AMP)

Put another way, whether God delegates an assignment or gives direction, He always offers the hope of experiencing Him in greater measure. Props to Webster, but unfortunately this something he missed in his dictionary.

Point 3: To embrace intentionality, we must understand our response to what God appoints and appropriates. For when God appoints, He is often granting fresh instruction and direction; however, when God appropriates, He is setting aside something for our possession that we already have.

Having said that, if you’re ever unsure what God is saying, always yield in surrender knowing God has anointed you to what He’s appointed you.

Ephesians 5:15-17 captures this beautifully in three simple words:  know His will.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” ~ Ephesians 5:15-17 (ESV)

A couple key nuggets from this passage…

1) Note how the context leading up to this passage centers on living on children of light and knowing what’s worth participating in. This is important to grasp as knowing our true identity (i.e. children of light) enables us to perceive our function/calling as an overflow/extension of that identity.

2) In verse 16, the Greek wording for ‘making the best’ means “buy up at the marketplace”, to see the opportunity as a commodity used by believers. This may sound strange at first; however, in the context of God’s evangelical economy, recognizing opportunity is crucial to valuing/seizing the time He’s given us.

With that in mind, we can better comprehend Paul’s charge at Ephesus, particularly the  transactional effects of Matthew 6:33 (which I submit is an underrated definition of intentionality)…

“But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.”

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Final Thoughts

  • While many of us like operating under the cover of ‘intentional’…in feeling secure in what we’re going after as opposed to being confident we’ll actually get there…true intentionality is never content on defining goals until it has established tactical strategies.
  • Intentionality is often received as a reactionary buzz word. If this truth resonates, we must re-evaluate our understanding of the term.
  • Often there’s a disconnect between what is good for us and what we want to be good for us. Accordingly, it should be no surprise if shallow convictions are met with shallow efforts. If we’re skeptical/indifferent concerning the sacrifice intentionality requires, we’ll be derailed by the facets of life that don’t cooperate amidst our pursuits.
  • Referencing the Lord with our intentions helps us know if God is in them. When we seek the Lord, not only must we seek with expectancy knowing He will answer, but also inquire how to integrate that answer into the priorities and commitments He’s already established/will continue to establish (see 2 Samuel 5 when David repeatedly references God in his tactical analysis). Remember in the realm of grace, there’s a natural rhythm embedded in the natural order of these priorities and commitments. Thus, by keeping God first, foremost, and center, we can know a higher level of intentionality with what He’s given us.

Selah.

Footnotes

  1. See what I did there? 😉
Cover photo creds: billiemakesahome.info

 

Year in Review: A Look Back at 2018

I’ll be honest…

…it’s hard to know how to process this year.

I mean…it’s not like things went according to plan…as if all my resolutions came to fruition; granted a lack of bucket list checks is nothing new in the history of late Decembers.

Still, as I look back on 2018, I can’t help but bask in awe. For while each year is its own journey, there are some more seismic, more catalytic in nature. To capture their magnitude? Nearly impossible. But to consecrate them into altars of gratitude? Now we’re talkin’.

Perhaps you’re wondering how you survived the year, hoping to find hidden truths between the lines months, or stressing about what next year will bring. If so, consider this simple year-in-review…a year that started in obscurity yet finished with a renewed embrace of it.

But where to begin. That is the question…

I suppose the best place to start is last Christmas when Everly Hope made her debut weeks after our last days in LEGACYouth and Ramsey Solutions.

While ushering in our new bundle of joy was certainly a lifetime highlight, it didn’t negate the fact going into 2018 was the meteorological equivalent of a clear, sunny day turned cold, freezing fog. So much of what we were used to was now lost in what we couldn’t see.

No more Wednesday morning devotions at work, no more co-workers and paycheck security (at least for Lys) no more sermon prepping, no more ministry on the go.

I remember a stretch in January I’d drive to work feeling all I had was daily bread and the world’s best family. I know, I know…this is [way] more than enough for the majority of the world’s population. I get that. I’m one blessed man; let the record stand.

However, as an exposed man realizing how much identity he had put in what he put out (i.e. how much personal worth he had assigned to ministry), no longer could I reconcile the sum of what I had versus what I didn’t have.

Lost in ego, it became quite clear the sabbatical God called Lys and I to when 2018 started was going to go much deeper than the average church break. I needed to find myself seek Jesus, embrace the words I’d been preaching for years, and let the tables turn.

And so it began, this foreign survey into various liturgies and doxologies, each Sunday a chance to learn something new about my local church. One step back, two steps forward. One step back, two steps forward. Never before has being a complete stranger, especially in church community, been so exciting yet awkward at the same time. Timely words pitted against uncertainty, a functioning compass that felt broken more often than not…this was my reality heading into late June.

Halftime Musings: https://hisgirlfryday.com/2018/06/28/halftime-a-musing-on-life-in-2018/

But to God’s credit, with assists from Jamie George and several Messenger colleagues, the heart, though bruised, kept rhythm. Yes, I missed LEGACYouth. Yes, I missed having a ministerial outlet where I could justify my day job by what I did outside it. But somehow, I was able to catch the bigger picture. God was not only after my heart, but my independence.

By time July arrived, the stage was set. All I had to do was keep my ears open.

Of course, you may know what happens next. If not, I’ll let this post do the talking:

Begin Again: https://hisgirlfryday.com/2018/09/06/begin-again/

In hindsight, it’s interesting to see the progression between late June and early September. As my harshest critic, accept my word when I say what God did during this time was nothing less than a minor miracle.

And yeah, I get a return to your home church isn’t exactly a $1,000 check in the mail or an ailment being instantly healed. At the same time, I think anytime a certain amount of pain, regardless its form, is supernaturally conquered, it must find anchor in testimony.

In my case, I went back to places of untended hurt, having previously hoped the end of LEGACYouth would be the end of them. After surrendering the ‘sail into sunset’ narrative for a ‘look what I will do in Act 2’ declaration, I finally did what I should have done years ago: I traded the vain imaginations, the depressive thoughts, the hopeless medications in for a buy-in into God’s plan of restoration. Whatever happened in ‘Act 1’ had to be released. Thanks to divine grace and that ever pestering still small voice, I was able to let go like never before.

And wouldn’t you know it…as all this was happening…ten years of on and off stomach ulcer-like symptoms vanished. It’s almost like God was giving me a head start into the fall (i.e. ‘You commit to this, I’ll heal you of your depression!’ And boom! It happened. Unexplainable, indescribable…yet unsurprising. A recipe for knowing where God is.

At any rate, while much happened this year behind closed doors, at times underground, no question there were many seeds planted that have taken root and will sprout in years to come.

As for what happened elsewhere, I’ll let the video and Q&A segment below take it from here.


When you think back on 2018, what immediately comes to mind?

CF: “Begin Again. The official battle-cry proclamation of 2018. Victory, repaved foundations, fresh trust in the Lord…quite a bit actually.

LF: “Change and transition. I felt the whole year was shifting sands. New baby, new career, new challenges. Concerning the latter, while we overcame and succeeded most of them, perhaps none was bigger than replacing my income as a stay-at-home virtual assistant with Everly in the fold. Despite all we’ve been tackling, we’ve been tackling them as a team. We’re ending the year on a totally different level.”

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What were some of the highlights/defining moments?

CF: “Conquering anxiety. The physical effects of my depression being healed. Our story in going back to The Gate. That late summer stretch was memorable on multiple fronts. Interesting to note in past Q&A’s, the answers to this question often featured events and travels, but this was a year that required a sabbatical and less mobility as part of its narrative.  As such, while our yieldedness felt more grounded at times, I think it ultimately helped establish the undercurrents that would go on to define the year. On a more secondary note, building the bridge between His Girl Fryday and Fry Freelance has been an exciting, though at times humbling, experience.”

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LF: “Landing my clients. Seeing God come through in this way was truly amazing. Knocking out the postpartum much quicker this go-around. Embracing the overall momentum that came with accepting the children’s pastoral role at The Gate. Learning a new rhythm without feeling I’m just surviving was defining in itself.”

How would you compare this year of marriage to the past years?

CF: “We have a more well-rounded idea of what intimacy is. In recent years, we’ve seen our communication tighten, but this year, I feel our desire to be on the same page is greater than ever. We’re not just picking and choosing how we want to be close. I suppose the type of troubleshooting and hurdle-clearing we’ve had to do this year is a major reason why.”

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LF: “This year has been more real. To end it on a high note, after so much transition…that says a lot. We’ve had some of our most intense discussions this year, but they brought us closer while pushing us towards growth and deeper connection. We’re getting better at being intentional. This was a ‘make or break’ year and while it wasn’t always pretty, we’re coming out stronger.” 

What lesson from 2018 are you eager to apply in 2019?

CF: “The relationship between dependence and satisfaction in the Lord. While we know we have every reason to trust God, He never stops pursuing our reliance and purifying our sense of worth. Furthermore, I better understand the connection between abiding in peace and not needing to make sense of my surroundings. I’m considerably more content in obeying without the entitlement of knowing why. In a way, I feel I have built-in relief for 2019 based on what God has taught me this year. One more lesson…sometimes, the dreams we think are dead are just dormant instead.”

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LF: “I’ve learned so much about grace, the kind that propels you to keep going. This year we’ve oscillated being being intentional and reactionary. Going into 2019, my heart and focus is on being more intentional as a function of overflow. That’s the word buzzing in my heart right now. I yearn to overflow as I surrender security and self-preservation and engage worship in all aspects of life. Given my belief in 2019 being more addition by multiplication, how we overflow is going to go a long way in how we mature as givers.”

What do you hope you’ll be saying at this time next year?

CF: “We’ve broadened our voice. We‘re working from home. We’re better stewards of what we’ve been given. We took the next steps of intentionality across the board…and are closer to God and each other because of it.”

LF: “#Livingourbestlife. We invested in what matters. We traveled more and were able to expose the kids to more outside of themselves. I reached my goal weight having hit the halfway point the year before.

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Peace to the journey that is 2019…

~ Cameron & Lyssah Fry