Category: Seasonal

Waiting on a Miracle: A Juju Journey Sneak Peak

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As I continue to work on Juju’s book, I wanted to share one of my new excerpts. Still making progress one piece at a time…

One of my favorite first quarter moments of Jubilee’s life came during her transfer from Centennial Women’s Hospital to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital. As 2022 dawned, hopes were high this move would help improve her health thanks to a more structured environment. After all, more screens, new equipment, and seasoned staff could only accelerate the healing.

Yet, for the rest of the family, we needed a spark as well. As they say, desperate times call for desperate measures and in seasons of chaos, you have to take what you can get, even if that special something is animated fiction. Hence, our corporate satisfaction when we watched the new Disney classic, Encanto, for the first time. As if God had orchestrated the timing just for us, the movie centers on a single word with a multitude of meanings, some good, some bittersweet. That word…

…was ‘miracle’.

Before Jubilee, if someone mentioned ‘miracle’ in conversation, Lyssah and I would have responded favorably upon knowing the context. Based on our belief, signs and miracles are still relevant today as authored by a sovereign God. While man often yearns for a miracle on specific terms, the purpose of any heaven meets earth miracle, even if delayed or unforeseen, is perfect. Sure, we may not understand the breadth and scope of the parameters, but I mean, isn’t that one of the fundamental conditions of any miracle in that it could look differently than what we expect? Shouldn’t a miracle be transcendent, mysterious, and challenge us to consider the benevolent hands of an almighty God? Or are we so jealous and zealous to assess the unexplainable with explicable rationale?

Frankly, the reason we sometimes fail to see God in our midst is because we haven’t cultivated the sensitivity required to sense His presence. Like the Sadducees and Jewish priests, we have in our minds a checklist of what must happen in our favor for God to be true to who He says He is. We think His love, goodness, any tangential trait is contingent upon us having proof of Him hearing us when the fact is God hears us through the cries of humble prayer. In other words, how we ask of God reveals what we believe of God. So, when we pray for a specific outcome in ‘miracle or bust’ fashion, we ultimately weaken the hope we crave by making it conditional. And for what? To feel in control? To have the assurance of being on the right path doing all that we can?

Having spent 393 days in the NICU, I can confirm the depths of desperation that flood those halls. What’s less certain is the integrity of their hope or as I like to say, the width of their anticipation. For Lyssah and I, we not only approached each day as if it was Juju’s last but considered the pathways of her life and the ways God could use each outcome. Were our prayers anchored in health and life in abundance? Of course! However, we also knew to pray what Jesus prayed in Gethsemane: Not my will but yours be done. So, while we were in unprecedented territory, striving to care for an afflicted daughter, we knew we could only see a sliver of God’s infinite perspective. This is why trusting God became more effortless the more we kept in a prayerful rhythm. Whenever we caught ourselves wanting God’s will to conform to our requests, we called on God in our weakness recognizing any display of spiritual discipline was for His glory and to His credit.

Back to Encanto. If you’ve seen the movie, you know the story of Mirabel, who in an enchanted home full of gifted family members, is the only ordinary member. Although she strives for her Abuela’s approval, she struggles to find acceptance based on receiving a gift from Casita, the family house and source of the magic. Accordingly, she grows up feeling inferior wondering why the magic passed her by. No question, her grief is no greater captured than in the song, ‘Waiting on a Miracle’. Take a look at these lyrics:

I can’t move the mountains
I can’t make the flowers bloom
I can’t take another night up in my room
Waiting on a miracle
I can’t heal what’s broken
Can’t control the morning rain or a hurricane
Can’t keep down the unspoken invisible pain
Always waiting on a miracle, a miracle
All I need is a change
All I need is a chance
All I know is I can’t stay on the side
Open your eyes, open your eyes, open your eyes
I would move the mountains
Make new trees and flowers grow
Someone please just let me know, where do I go?
I am waiting on a miracle, a miracle
I would heal what’s broken
Show this family something new
Who I am inside, so what can I do?
I’m sick of waiting on a miracle, so here I go
I am ready, come on, I’m ready
I’ve been patient, and steadfast, and steady
Bless me now as you blessed us all those years ago
When you gave us a miracle
Am I too late for a miracle?

You talk about a heart cry in anguish. Of all the Disney movies in which the protagonist confronts her despair, Encanto arguably takes the top spot.

Moments after this confession, a mystical danger emerges and threatens to eradicate the magic. That’s when Mirabel summons the courage to not only rise above her despair but also restore order and unite divided family members, reminding them the miracle is not the gift but the giftee as part of the overall family journey.

Why is this important? Because the movie confirms an aspect of how God works His wonder. Specifically, a miracle isn’t limited to answered prayer since a miracle is not about what we get over but what we get through. In His Word, God doesn’t promise us we’ll get over everything but He does promise we’ll get through anything. In our case with Jubilee, while our prayers for her to survive the NICU and make it home did not materialize, as our hearts healed, we learned to see her miracle as the impact she made on the thousands of lives, including us, shattering medical expectations and probabilities along the way.

Yet, even if she hadn’t survived past day one, the miracle of her life would have still been clinched. For even as we contended with God in our pain, He enlarged our capacity to sense the sweetness of His nearness, His tender hand holding ours. Were there some days we were beyond angry? Absolutely. There may have been a choice word or two. But in the end, we recognized God as the one who gives purpose, resets our perspective, and redeem fallenness and fallen spirits alike during moments, especially in seasons of grief.

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Even with Mirabel and Abuela reconciling at the end of Encanto, the question still remains for those who feel they lost a miracle with their child’s passing. Surely, I’m not alone when I say it’s easy to feel alone though the Bible speaks to the contrary.

For instance, I believe whole-heartedly in Isaiah 41:10 but struggled to believe it fully after Jubilee’s death.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

In my mind, the truth had become conditional, like an expired contract or coupon. At one point God was strengthening us, helping us, imparting the supernatural, but not anymore, or so I thought. With no more life to sustain, the upholding felt more like withholding. Deep down, I knew God was still God, but couldn’t connect the dots of a passage once absolute, now more theoretical. At some point, I had to accept my belief process as the primary problem, specifically in God’s upholding hand being a dependent variable.

In our case, God’s ability and capacity to keep Jubilee alive had become a middle wheel teetering on the edge of legalistic perspective. In desperation, we prayed without ceasing and never stopped believing in God’s wonder working power; however, there were some days we felt the fear of what would happen if we stopped. As such, our faith, incomplete as it was, sometimes served as a false catalyst, subconsciously greasing the true wheel of God’s sovereign hand. On days Jubilee was doing well, God had his foot more firmly on the gas petal. On days she was struggling, He may or may not have been waiting for us to press in and request some aspect of His nature to intervene.

Thankfully, the reality of Isaiah 41:10’s conclusion eventually found us to awaken alignment. For the upholdings of God are not subject to words and beliefs of man. By no means, is God in any way driven by our righteousness, given any earthly display is a direct reflection of the divine in the first place. When Isaiah says God will strengthen, help, and uphold you, he’s not suggesting these actions are chained to outcomes but rather the eternal, perpetual essence of His nature. If there is a joy to grab hold of within this verse, it’s the steadfastness of His hand in all situations. As Lys and I wrestle through our grief, we realized the tangibility of God’s constancy is just as much in the heartbreak of disappointment, if not more so, than its prelude. With the Beatitudes in mind, when hearts and heads are heavy-laden, that is when God’s upholdings are at their best so we can sense Jesus saying ‘Come to me’, so we can hear His call.

Does this sound like we’re alone? As if a fear of loneliness has a legitimate place?

I didn’t think so. In no realm are we truly alone, despite what the NICU may tempt us to believe. True, the hospital halls can seem like a secluded place where we feel fight our battles alone. But that’s when we must remember and believe God’s Word. As Point of Grace once sung, when it looks like you’ve lost it all and you haven’t got a prayer, Jesus will still be there. Hence, why we fight the good fight of faith and confess the goodness of God (1 Timothy 6:12) in all situations so those who lack hope will see a glimmer of it.

I suppose that’s one of the key silver linings in Juju’s life. As she fought against all odds, she compelled us to see God amidst the chaos and challenged us to appreciate the trials in real time. Just as light shines brighter in darkness, so does perspective sharpen during adversity. If I’m dealing with greater pain, whether physically, spiritually, or emotionally, so must I desire God to be greater. So must I crave His presence and peace as crooked roads are made straight. And the choice for us can be a net encouragement in perceiving NICU stress as a way to desire God the right way, a purifier of our thirst for ‘more’ of God.

Perhaps this is why I love the redemptive conclusion of Encanto. For starters, we shouldn’t want more of God’s magic to sustain the miracle of health. Rather, we should perceive the miracle as Trinitarian life, life that was, life that is, and life that will be. Trust me, I get how hard it is to accept this truth when our precious candles have burned out. Yet, as dear to our hearts our offspring may be, the miracle goes beyond the flesh and touches the divine in ways that daily inspire. Just as mothers carry the DNA of her children for the rest of her life, so too can we sustain the memory of God’s sustaining us in our darkest hours.

We carry on not because we want to be carried but because the carry is imminent. This is the paradigm shift any NICU parent must embrace when they inevitably question whether God will strengthen them in moments of weakness.

Selah.

Cover graphic creds: Disney Wiki

Grow ⬆️ Up: A Call for Us in 2024 (Part 1)

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After a disappointing 2023, I’ve been pondering pathways for maturation in recent weeks. Often, when we come off a down year, we take inventory of what went wrong and why; however, let’s be honest: How frequently do we integrate prayer and counsel into the pathways we set?

In my case, 2023 was a story of transition and survival, a season in which healing, stability, and community struggled to gain traction. On several occasions, Lys and I were compelled to question things that shouldn’t have happened, the silence we experienced from some of our social spheres atop the list.¹

To add insult to injury, life in last year’s office space wasn’t any better. Having arguably been moved to the wrong team to start the year, I found myself in an occupational Pandora’s Box, stuck on an island yet trapped within a cubical greenhouse – the air free for some but borderline toxic for others.² Consequently, I fell out of certain rhythms of health and behavior that in a typical year would have been evident.

Now, to be fair, a mulligan makes sense given how Lys and I were rung through the ringer in 2021 and 2022. Still, as one beat up from those years, I shouldn’t have matched any time I sensed an attitude shift or withdrawal, writing off some as casualties of what I couldn’t control. Oh, if I could go back, I would and hand on shoulder, remind that Cam to shun the numbness. I guess that’s why they say hindsight is a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.

Yet, despite these dissatisfactions, I’ve been hungry to convert brokenness into something good, something healthy, something authentic. After all, that’s the magic of a new year and why I’ve been stirred to fast regarding the year ahead. ‘Cause truth is: I don’t want to come anywhere near who and where I was last year. Perhaps some of you can relate having been pressed without precedence in recent years?

Either way, as I finalize this internal audit, I celebrate the changes being made but also understand receiving fresh grace and compassion can be arduous without a game-plan, especially without daily forgiveness and surrender.

Which brings me to why I’m writing this. During the past few days, a phrase has been activating in my spirit, like a banner of the heart being raised to the rafters. Chances are you’ve heard these words, albeit in negative connotations as standard for most. Unburying the lead, these words I present are not only a motto for the year but something we should all aspire to each day we live and breathe. 

What I’m saying is… 

As Matthew 5:48 says, “You’re kingdom [agents, ambassadors representing God’s ministry of reconciliation]. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” (MSG)

But Cam, how do we get there? How do we connect the dots between our ‘loved by God’ identity and the discouragement we feel chained to? 

First, you must return to the Father heart of God:

“I’m not writing all this as a neighborhood scold to shame you. I’m writing as a father to you, my children. I love you and want you to grow up well, not spoiled. There are a lot of people around who can’t wait to tell you what you’ve done wrong, but there aren’t many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up. It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God’s Message to you that I became your father. I’m not, you know, asking you to do anything I’m not already doing myself.” ~ 1 Corinthians 4:14-16 (MSG)

After marinating in the Father’s warmth, embrace His intent for you to discover His love and how it can help you redirect or mature in specific ways, each according to His likeness:

“God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love. ~ Ephesians 4:14-16 (MSG)

Next, detach (or distance yourself) from unhealthy people and situations weighing your faith down:

“Don’t tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape. They’re completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us.” ~ Colossians 2:18-19 (MSG)

Replace childlike impulses with childlike faith, innocence, even curiosity in the ways of the Spirit:

“So come on, let’s leave the preschool fingerpainting exercises on Christ and get on with the grand work of art. Grow up in Christ. The basic foundational truths are in place: turning your back on “salvation by self-help” and turning in trust toward God; baptismal instructions; laying on of hands; resurrection of the dead; eternal judgment. God helping us, we’ll stay true to all that. But there’s so much more. Let’s get on with it!” ~ Hebrews 6:1-3 (MSG)

Finally, clean house! Once you’ve repented of your shortcomings, renounced any agreements with the enemy, and prayed God’s highest to cover your soul hurts, declare thanksgiving to God, over your family, and for Him to anoint the stepping stones on which you’re called to walk.

“Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy, and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants…drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.” ~ 1 Peter 2:1-3 (MSG)

Final disclaimer: While this list is a mere guide and doesn’t represent all the steps you need to take to correct course, I encourage you to seek the Lord to discern how He wants you to facilitate the fireplaces of your hearts in 2024. Ask yourself: “What agreements and unholy packs need to be broken off? What dead weights do I need to cut ties with? What pursuits do I need to put on the backburner, at least for a short time? In what ways should I reprioritize my time, energy, and investments? In what ways do I need to make right with my neighbor? Is there any clear peace or lack thereof in any category of life? Do I sense any open doors or change in direction? If so, who is leading me? More importantly, what or who is the source of my fire? And if I’m not burning, what is getting in the way?

While the answers will vary, understand even in your weakness and weakest, He is strength and strongest. Somehow, someway, you will feel the sweet release of reset and recalibration; however, be advised you can’t get there without effort, intentionality, and reposturing.

During my next post, I will share some additional insight on how to level up at work with these paradigm filters applied. Until then, you got this! Go forth and go get ‘em…in Jesus’ name.

Selah.

Graphic creds: Vecteezy; sermon by Ian Gilchrist (preached at One Church Home on 1/7/24)

Footnotes

  1. Note: I can’t speak for everyone, but I imagine some of you who’ve lost a loved one can relate to the social leprosy incurred after-the-fact. More on this subject later, though in the meantime, dear church, as far as it be with you, please be the church unconditionally.
  2. Friends, if you taste rejection concerning who you’re called to be, what you bring to the table, etc., do not clap the dust off your sandals prematurely. Rather, stay consistent to team expectations, honor authorities and colleagues, and keep both hands on the plow until you’ve reached the finish line. Again, more on ideal exit strategy once full stock has been taken.

Year in Review: A Look Back at 2023

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Thursday, August 24, 2023

I’m taking in a familiar scene, a road once trudged 1,934 times over 7 years, give or take a few. By all means, I should be feeling nauseous, frail like the cracks on the sidewalk below.

But not this day. Not on this quest back to the desert where once upon a time, I punched in a rare card. Oh, to be a youth pastor with a full-time governmental job on the side. Those were the days, the former, I miss fondly. 

In the air is the smell of victory as I trek this iconic incline disguised as an inverted hourglass. An interview? With the State? No way you could have convinced me a year ago I would be in that situation. Then again, as they say, expect the unexpected and you’ll never be surprised or disappointed. Tell that to a desperate hunter living on a prayer wondering how the heck it came to this.

Indeed, to tell the tale of 2023, you must go back to the beginning, a point when red flags were yellow and the hope for a better year was still alive. A promotion to a new department at work. Check. A fresh slate post-Jubilee. Check. Hot off a fruitful Christmas NICU outreach. Check. Certainly, some anticipations were well founded.

Yet, despite those hopeful prospects, there were apprehensions as the new year rang, the biggest one being our final small Fry in the oven with no one aware except Lys’ parents. In a vacuum, there was excitement, a recognition of God’s restoration at work. Still, we knew despite my promotion at work, it wasn’t going to be enough to make ends meet based on a poorly reshuffled financial deck and a lack of quality benefits. TennCare, the system is helpful but doesn’t cover everything. Somehow, some way, God was going to have to do what only He could.

Freshly commissioned by my former team of three years, early expectations were high the year ahead could be both a collective step up. Unfortunately, the writing on the wall would start to show in light of questionable corporate decisions, enough to know what was now becoming clear: 2023 was going to be my last year at Foundation Group, shades of four years prior when God guided me out of TDOT. I didn’t know how the transition would occur. All I knew is like the ending scene from Mary Poppins, the weather vane within had completed turned. Slowly but surely, a piece of me was starting to fade.

With the kids in school to start the year (shout out to Greater Things), Lys and I had to pull out all the stops to make ends meet. We started with one freelancing side hustle (lost to AI in May) and a few ministerial endeavors on the board; however, they were not enough to offset the support cutoff that took place following Jubilee’s passing. For the first time in our married life, we had to find creative means from the bottom of the barrel to stitch paychecks together. This included eight BioLife Plasma appointments between December 8, 2022 and January 19, 2023, the latter of which prompted my donation retirement having almost passed out due to blood loss. Freak plasma accidents, they can be a bear in a [matter] of speaking. 😉 

The following week, I started an eBay store to offload sports cards, memorabilia, and apparel I didn’t need. While gross sales were much higher than expected the first 4-5 months, the operation only served to connect weekly financial dots and did little to help us pull equity out of our home.  On the verge of bankruptcy only months before Aili’s arrival, Lys and I had no choice but to pray and pray often for open doors. In our hearts, we knew provision would come. We just didn’t know how the details and timelines would shape out.

As winter gave way to spring, our family received a generous offer to visit Port Saint Joe, Florida for our first full family vacation. During our time away, Lys and I were able to celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary while the kids enjoyed their inaugural beach debut.

In terms of broader stretches, the late March to early May time frame was notable for two occurrences:

1) On March 27, The Gate Church hosted my dad’s 50 Years of Ministry Celebration in what was truly a special night for our family.

2) From March 21 – May 9, Lys and I participated in a grief support group at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in what would become a defining sequence for the rest of the year. Despite the proximity to where Jubilee died, we felt at home with our new friends, some of whom we still keep in contact with. As only the second bereaved parent support group in Vanderbilt’s history, our cohort proved to be an enlightening experience for several nurses on staff. From what we understand, more support groups are expected to launch in 2024 for those who endured Jubilee journeys of their own.

Like April, June was a meaningful month, albeit for different reasons. In a top three memory of the year, Lys and I took a weekend away to Moscow, Tennessee, to participate in a While We’re Waiting Retreat for bereaved parents. Like the Vanderbilt support group, the event would feature a balanced blend of community, healing, and direct support, essentials we desperately needed and weren’t finding anywhere else at the time. The empowerment and activation from the weekend would not only result in more friends but a guest appearance on the While We’re Waiting podcast in October and eventual board approval to start the first middle Tennessee chapter for the 2024 calendar year.

Apart from support groups, the dominant storylines heading into July were Lyssah’s pregnancy (by far the smoothest of all five kids), leading more Zoom calls with the Circuit Riders, and the job hunt reaching a fever pitch. Among the 200 applications sent on Indeed and LinkedIn between July-October 2023, roughly 8-10 resulted in fruitful networking including a pipeline for Foundation Group that specialized in not-for-profits. 

Of course, the ultimate Fry-light would occur Friday, July 28, the day on which Aili was born. Although her earthly entrance doesn’t offset the incompleteness Lys and I feel, the wonder of God’s faithfulness as evident through the moment struck a victorious nerve in the context of God’s sovereignty and our testimony unfolding. Literal beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3), Aili’s arrival was more than cathartic but a sweet reminder to praise God for the way He ministers encouragement and comfort to the brokenhearted. Like a gift that keeps on giving, Aili continues to warm our hearts through smiles and reflections of divine providence. Even in the wake of last year’s tragedy, the surrealness of her presence has, no question, bonded our family together in greater measure.

Fast-forward to November 7 and the job search finally concluded after five months of persistent effort. Honestly, I will never forget the call I received from Mercy Multiplied during which they confirmed an offer for me to become their Accounting Manager, instantly justifying God’s call from January and the many closed doors that preceded in the months following. To think my application came in one day before the position was pulled from online job boards blows my mind – just another example of how God is faithful to guide and provide especially in the clutch. Since then, I’ve been able to find footing in a healthier environment working for Nancy Alcorn and her Finance team. No doubt, the experience, highlighted by the Merry Mercy 40th Anniversary Celebration earlier this month, has been a breath of fresh air. 

Speaking of breakthrough, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the door God recently opened for Lys and I to leverage some of our home equity to pay off the medical debts. Using a Home Equity Agreement as the vehicle, our goal is to layer it with a HELOC next year and sell our home within 2-3 years so we can relocate to a more favorable setting. With much to pray into on the ministry front heading in 2024, we’re hoping to find clarity and direction before any major moves are made.

And so, as the sun sets on 2023, I bid it adieu and relish the opportunity to start afresh and anew. Occasionally, I think back to that day in January, the one BioLife missed the vein, and how it triggered a resonating desire for the look of life to change in every facet outside immediate family and friends; however, I also remember praying, ‘Lord, even if these changes don’t happen, even if I feel like I’m sinking at the end of the year, give me healthy wife/healthy baby and I will gladly take it‘. Safe to say that request accrued dividend and interest as Aili, and her older sibling trio continue to mature in stature with Lys making progress towards 2020 levels of health.

Still, even with the advances of late, the hurts linger. Moving on is hard; adjusting to life post-Juby (while we’re gettin’ there) is hard; learning your youngest son is auti..ahem…neurodivergent…is hard; employing financial wisdom is hard; not feeling seeded in crucial areas…you guessed it…is hard. Then again, life was never meant to be easy and I’m quickly reminded how we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us even when we feel alone, disappointed, unheard, misunderstood, even neglected. Hence, why Lys and I are not discouraged to the point of wavering despite 2023 going down as the roughest year since 2011. For as 2021 and 2022 taught us…

…clinging to hope at the end of your rope is not just a hell to pass through but a hotspot to discover God’s love amidst the endurance.

Thus, while 2023 felt like navigating a pothole-laden highway, we can give testament to God as a solid foundation amidst the voids. Despite the adversities, I give Him all the praise for how he’s helped me put the family on my back and carry them through streams of troubled water this year. 

To new faces and friendly spaces, we thank you for being valued connections in life and as part of our support network. To those on the other side, we thank you as well for your part in making us stronger. Just as without suffering and chaos, there cannot be compassion and peace, so too we cannot grow stronger without deficits and prompts to overcome. Accordingly, we can be grateful for the situations that awaken us to draw closer to Jesus regardless of the specifics involved. Granted, we understand many of you reading this have sowed refreshment and have extended goodwill to many during the past few years. For that, we share our warmest regards and wish you nothing but God’s best this holiday season.

May you all be blessed and enriched with the grandeur of His highest,

~ Cameron (and Lyssah) Fry

Prayer Points (in no particular order)

  1. Favor with Cameron’s new job at Mercy Multiplied
  2. Favor with the launch of the While We’re Waiting Nashville small group
  3. Ministerial direction (i.e. knowing where God wants to plant us in 2024) 
  4. Mentoring/networking opportunities (i.e. knowing who we’re to team with/invest relationally)
  5. New work opportunities for Lyssah (remote or hybrid)
  6. Family health/Milo’s occupational therapy
  7. Progress with Cameron’s Jubilee Journey book and a jumpstart of the His Girl Fryday podcast
  8. Continued healing and recovery post-Jubilee

Cover graphic creds: Vecteezy

3 Underrated Life Lessons from ‘Elf’

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Originally written 12/25/15; revised 12/11/23

Every Christmas, I somehow, some way find myself taking in another round of ‘Elf‘. After all, you leave your TV on long enough during December, it’s bound to happen. Although the movie isn’t exactly my cup of tea, I’d be a cotton-headed ninny muggins if I said there weren’t any truths tucked within the movie’s many memorable moments.

Thus, in the spirit of modern day parables, here are three life lessons inspired by Elf quotes worth eating up this holiday season…

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  1. Jovie: “It IS a crappy cup of coffee.”Buddy: “No, it’s the world’s BEST cup of coffee.”

Believing the best isn’t always easy. I know for me, I’d rather ‘get real’ with what’s in front of me than entertain what’s outside of me. Yet, I also know, while honest assessment is certainly a fair practice, when it becomes boxed in by circumstances, opportunities to shine hope into them can be missed.

In the case of Buddy the Elf, his innocent ignorance, though awkward, opens the door for humility…

…not only for the coffee shop to step up to its potential, but for Jovie to believe it could happen.

Accordingly, I can appreciate how Buddy, though delusional, speaks life into what could be, rather than reduce an entire identity to one subpar sip.

Bottom line: While there’s a time to be honest, a time to be transparent, there’s never a time to doubt, even if the best is out of sight, out of mind. ————————————————————————————————————————————————

2. Buddy: “Deb, you have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card.”

Like point #1, showing encouragement isn’t always easy either. Political incorrectness, missing the punch-line, poor delivery mechanics, futile grudges…

…honestly, it’s crazy the excuses we tolerate all for the sake of not looking (or sounding) like a moron.

But with Buddy, not only do you find a model of self-security, but you also see what happens when driven joy and childlike faith collide in a relational context. Despite his lack of filter, Buddy ultimately reminds us it’s better to encourage as a function of determined giving as opposed to convenient action.

Bottom line: If you have something good to say, don’t just say it…give it.————————————————————————————————————————————————

3. Buddy: “SANTA! OH MY GOD! SANTA’S COMING! I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM!”

I’ve often wondered why so many wear their faith like a security blanket, only to ditch it when the ‘heat’ is turned up.

It’s like…we have no problem investing in eternal insurance…but also have no problem catering to indifference whenever the ‘rubber meets the road’.  

But truth is: when we ‘selah’ on simply Jesus and the joy set before us, it makes perfect sense to get excited and share that enthusiasm with those around us; hence, why Buddy’s reaction here is so priceless given it captures the true spirit of Christmas and reminds us how we’re to celebrate God’s past, present, and future faithfulness.

For when we consider the fact Jesus is coming again, to once more redeem humanity from depravity, we ultimately set ourselves up to trust Christ in a way that fuels an eagerness for that coming.

Bottom line: Stand up, be proud…live your faith out loud…

‘…cause seriously…we have the privilege of knowing the King of Kings & Lord of Lords. How freakin’ awesome is that!?!

Graphic cover creds: Giphy

Black Whole: The Importance of Letting God Fill Your Voids

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A crisp autumn evening is being tucked away with coos as I type this.

Lord knows I need the positive vibes given how bittersweet a month it’s been, not to mention its placement amid an extremely uncomfortable season. Like recent years, Lys & I have been holding on for dear life of late though on this side of Jubilee, the desperation has been different, dare I say, next level.

No question, the ultimate theme of 2023 has been simultaneous grieving and hopeful anticipation. To go from losing a daughter to gaining one in less than 11 months, that’s..*sigh*…that’s insanity at its finest and most glorious. At least for what can be known this side of heaven.

Still, going back to this time last year, I couldn’t have possibly imagined the first full year of what has become a new era within the Fry family journey. The trials and testings, the depth of depressions, the resilience faith has compelled us to, I mean, you’re talking about a year I can’t wait to recap in 5-6 weeks once the New Year comes into greater focus.

For now, I want to offer some perspective to the broken heart along with some zest and zeal to the fatigued.

While it’s true, there will be times when you’re heard, understood, treated fairly, etc., there are other times you’re not supposed to be. As hard as that is to receive, especially during challenging circumstances, it’s a peace-inducing reality when you think about it. For even when you’re run into the ground as part of one’s abuse of the plow, there is a joy to take hold – one that makes little sense at first but becomes more powerful when you say ‘yes’ to it.

For instance, there have been moments in recent months when I’ve felt stuck on an island, crying out into the void, wondering who might hear if I supplicate loud enough. In those instances, the mind craves certain thoughts to be taken captive alongside the white noise and dead silence.

But then God shows up, meets me in the turbulence, and sweetly reminds me, ‘Son, I see the holes you’re walking on. I am here. Let me be and fill your void!‘

And instantly, I’m okay again – a calibrated vessel with the Staples button resounding within: Well then…that was easy.

Now, hear me: I’m not trying to belittle whatever chaos you’re walking through. I’m just looking to charge your spirit. If you’re coming out of a stretch in which you’ve been a fish out of water, don’t just desire water; rather, believe there’s a river with your name on it. You may feel helpless in the immediate flopping on terrain you weren’t designed for, but this doesn’t mean you have to lose heart in light of where you’re going.

Which brings me back to why I’m writing this: If you’re running on empty today, if you’re feeling abandoned or overlooked, let God be, fill, even shape your void! For in this transaction, you allow your Creator to be the receiver of your lack, your fear, your heart to belong and be known. You see, far too often, we ask God to remove our voids and repair our deficits. I recall a specific situation in which I told God, “If you can just make a bridge for me here, I’ll be sure to walk on it.’

However, as I now know, if I’m trusting God’s thoughts and ways as higher (Isaiah 55:8-9), then the pragmatic move is to follow His leading regardless of direction. Like me, you may think you need a bridge when what you really need is a bypass, a nudge, an about-face, heck, even a jump into a boat going under it. Point is: The same reason you’re not alone is the same reason you can take heart when you feel stuck, lost, or misused. As I’ve said before, the best scenic routes in life are often detours. Accordingly, don’t be surprised if your ‘yes’ to God increases the probability of them. After all, we were made to fully rely on God in all things, including our voids as painful they may be. Why not dare to see God in them as we pray and cast our cares and embrace His goodness?

As the prophet continues in v. 10-11:

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth…giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me void, but shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.“

Selah.

Graphic cover creds: Wallpapers.com