Rethinking Authority (Part 1)

September 6, 2015May 30, 20201 Comment

No question, many of us have a bittersweet relationship with [our idea of] “authority”. We know it’s essential, we know it’s relevant…but we chafe when it comes to being under it¹.

Perhaps you’ve wondered why “authority” rubs people the wrong way and creates quivers among the masses…

If that’s you, then you’re in the right place.

‘Cause whether you’re in authority and suspect the authenticity of your subordinates…or are under it and think the term is nothing more than a means for manipulation/a code word for power, addressing the issue of ‘what to do when you question authority’ is key.

With that said, here are a couple practical ways to rightfully deal with authority (as supported by Scripture):

1) Pray. As cliché as it may sound, voicing supplication is not so much a ‘good idea’, as it is a Kingdom mandate (or as I call…an “appointed opportunity“) for us to engage. Take 1 Timothy 2:1-3 for instance. In this passage, Paul is urging his younger colleague to intercede for all. Yet, as Paul commences his rundown in verse 2, note how he doesn’t start with the Isaiah 61:1 trio (i.e. poor, brokenhearted, and captives)…he starts with kings and all who are in high positions!

Why is this important, you might ask? Well, if we start with Scriptural context, the higher-ups of Paul’s time were despised political groups, mainly Roman officials and religious leaders (ex: The Jerusalem Council). So by saying, ‘all who are in high positions’, Paul wastes no time in going after the white elephant in the room…which for his audience was “loving your enemies”.

Despite the challenging command, Paul’s initiative here is not so much the call itself as it is the hope of God’s faithfulness, particularly in helping us “lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way”² (v. 2b). Thus, it should be no surprise Paul strategically writes this in an attention-grabbing way, considering the awesome reward promised through obedience. Pretty cool, eh?

So in short, Paul takes the Golden Rule and stitches it to prayer’s original design. More specifically, we pray for all men because it a) glorifies God and b) since we’d want others to do the same for us…regardless of how they feel. True, you may not want to pray for certain individuals, such as those who seem to have it all together…who disregard you…and/or who give the “peaceful and godly life” a bad name…

…but if you think about it, would not the world be a better place if what you hoped for actually happened?

Just sayin’…

2) Set the example. While prayer sets an inner tone, it’s important to set an external one as well. How do we accomplish this? By inspiring others to submit to authority! Granted, this may not sound like a thrilling concept; nevertheless, for prayer to be fervent and effective, it must ultimately be tethered to action, which in an authority context, is accomplished once we choose to be content wherever we are.

For example, you may be far down the totem pole with respect to your workplace hierarchy. You may think people look down on you because you’re young or have other priorities. Instead of grumbling, complaining, and/or risking a half-hearted effort, why not flip the frustration³ into rejoicing and be a living, breathing manifestation of Colossians 3:23:

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”

‘Cause truth is, when we focus on Christ, our ultimate authority, we not only promote a heart of humility, but we also position ourselves to better serve our earthly authorities, encouraging others to do the same…all the while preserving the integrity of our influence as the healthy outflow of obedience.

So by honoring authority, by word and action, we model a tangible faith with the power to draw people near to the light we carry. Sure, we may not always agree with our earthly authorities…heck, we may not even like them…but if we’re faithful to rely on God as our vindicator…if we confess our desire to inspire the hope of Christ, then we’ll better understand how a) God always appoints with a purpose (see Romans 13:1-7)…and b) He wants us to be a part of that purpose!

I don’t know about you…but I want to accept the mission to not only honor authority…but love the way God positions people, regardless if it’s impossible in my own strength.

Stay tuned next time for a ‘second half wrap-up’ of this post, in which we’ll address our final two points on rightfully dealing with authority.

Footnotes

1) Or for some, operating within or delegating it

2) Granted we stay faithful to pray for all people

3) Or temptation to be frustrated

Cover photo creds: banner personnel.com

3 Challenges for Today’s Youth Leaders

June 23, 2015August 19, 2019Leave a comment

In a previous post, I outlined five important lessons for 21^st century youth pastors. Today, I’m going to switch gears by discussing three of the biggest challenges youth leaders face on a daily basis.

1) The Parent-Youth Pastor Relationship

As a parent of two under two, I can’t fully relate to the stress of seasoned parents; however, while I may not have conquered potty training or the volcano science fair project, I do know:

While parents understand their youth better, this doesn’t mean they understand the youth group better¹.
While parents can be a youth pastor’s most challenging relationship, if trust and communication is established from the get-go, it will have a greater opportunity to flourish.

In my experience, I’ve seen it all: parents asking other parents or staff questions they should be asking me, parents criticizing my effort to other pastors and parents, parents pulling their kids out of youth group without explanation, parents not making any effort to connect, parents not making any effort to encourage their youth to connect, parents who think they know me because they know my parents, parents who volunteered with hidden agendas, parents overprotecting their kids based on vain assumptions…I could go on.

Yet, by conquering these offenses, I’ve often found the motivation to not only tend these challenging relationships with a pure heart, but maximize parental buy-in with a clearer understanding of God’s vision for their youth. Remember to the extent you press through, to that extent you’ll find it easier to:

Believe the best, not just hope the best
Be faithful in the big andsmall
Bury grudges
Fully rely on God without interdependences
Proactively own mistakes
Partner with parents²

For instance, after learning one of my parents had a gift for teaching music, I decided to extend him an opportunity to help me create a youth worship band. In this way, I not only invested in one of his passions and spiritual gifts, but also invited him into a piece of the overall vision.

2) The Engage Factor

As much as I love student ministry, engaging families skeptical of youth group is a consistent challenge. From my end, youth should have a defined place of identity and influence in the body at large. Unfortunately, with each passing year, I see many youth and youth parents disconnect from youth ministry fearing youth group will conflict with their standards.

Perhaps you’ve noticed the same thing, wondering why parents are so quick to withdraw before a conversation can be had. If so, remember if their standards are to be extended, then they must be empowered to be encouraged.

Again, I may be a fairly young parent, but I’m also a seasoned youth leader appreciative of having learned the heart of worship, the value of dependence, and the necessity of Hebrews 10:24-25 community in youth group.³

So, if you’re like me, having learned the essentiality of youth group through years of experience, it makes sense for us, as shepherds, to want ‘fence families’ (i.e. uncommitted attenders with uninvolved youth) to know the same; however, it’s in these moments we must exchange entitlement⁴for encouragement.

For while it’s true more people are basing their engagement on circumstance and convenience as opposed to conviction, we must remember it’s not our responsibility to reverse the trend. Rather it’s our privilege to pray God inspires understanding of what commitment in community looks like…while modeling it along the way.

I remember with one family years back, understanding the needs of their rising youth was a huge challenge. Often times, they’d reach out inviting me to pray over their youth on a Sunday morning and then go into radio silence for weeks leaving me to wonder if I had done something wrong. Thankfully, the more I started to pray outside my understanding, the more I started to relate within my understanding. As it turned out, the youth wrestled with autism and the parents, who thought they had communicated this to me, went years assuming I knew. Only once we bridged the misunderstanding did communication and community between me and the family begin to improve; however, looking back, it’s clear had I not repeatedly surrendered my questions to God, I likely would have lacked the humility to own my ignorance.

3) Pressure to Perform

Perhaps the most oppressive challenge in this list involves the pressure to perform. While this struggle may vary from person to person, the common denominator is usually a fear of appearances.

For example, as a rookie youth pastor, arguably my greatest insecurity was feeling less spiritual than my superiors. Accordingly, I started embracing a performance mentality, growing more concerned over aesthetic matters than shepherding community.

However, after a moment of counsel with one of my mentors, who also happened to be a youth parent at the time, my eyes were opened to the places I was unnecessarily striving in. For that reason, I was able to repent and turn from my pride.

Whatever the case, it’s critically important for youth ministers not to let fear generate action since a priority of execution as opposed to service will hinder what relying on God looks like. To paraphrase Alistair Begg, in modeling only partial dependency, we compromise our equipping of young people to conquer sin and walk with God.

Bottom line: If our initiative isn’t “simply Jesus”, then we not only dilute our leadership, but also minimize the potential of God’s Spirit transforming youth from the inside-out.

Selah.

Footnotes

Specifically vision and mission. Also, it does concern me how some are not taking ownership of their kids’ spiritual growth. While some parents are extremely overprotective, others can rely too heavily on the church to change their kids.
As opposed to settling for intermittent interaction
In ways I could only learn in youth group
Specifically, knowing what’s going on behind the scenes

Photo credits: youthministry360.com, thegospelcoalition.org & zachhaas.com

3 Ways to Overcome a Fear of Rejection

June 4, 2015June 4, 2015Leave a comment

No doubt, we all burn to belong.

Makes sense…considering we were made for relationship…to put on love and commune in harmony (Romans 12:16; 1 Corinthians 1:10, Colossians 3:14).

But let’s be honest…such desires aren’t always realized, are they.

Relocations…busyness…life changes…even the walls we put up…cycle through as hindrances interfering with our need to find unity in community.

Yet, perhaps the greatest obstacle we face when we talk about healthy relationships is the fear of rejection¹.

Now, I admit: I’m still progressing through my own set of relational insecurities. But while I may have much to learn, I’ve also grown a great deal having persevered through idolatrous pursuits of acceptance in my early 20’s , in addition to recent challenges as a bivocational minister.

So when I say a fear of rejection is one of the most paralyzing strongholds, you can take my word to the bank.

As far as dealing with this fear type, you’ve probably heard much on the topic already.

Yet, for bivocationals juggling multiple responsibilities on the fly, it’s worth re-emphasizing given fear’s tendency to find its way on the backburner.

Thus, in the spirit of stirring awareness, here are three practical ways to conquer a fear of rejection:

1) Own it.

Statistics show the vast majority of what people worry about is either vain (false reality) or beyond their control (false expectations). In most cases, we fear once we sense a loss of control on a desirable outcome. For example, we want people to like us, but find we lack “chemistry”. We want to be living our dream, but find our reality is far from it. We want to reap securities, but find all we have is fractured hope.

No question, the chasms are real; however, this doesn’t mean we’re chained to them until the bridge forms. Why? Because it’s only when we relinquish our lust for control we start to conquer our fears.

So next time you find yourself fearing rejection, questioning your fit, place, image, safety..or that of a loved one, own it, surrender the stress, pray the Word, embrace self-control, and faint not.

2) Reject it.

Sometimes, we treat fear like a giant game of dodgeball. We think if we can just finagle through life without getting hit, then we’ll be okay. The problem with this idea is…at some point, you will get hit, if not with the fear, then the temptation of it.

The best way to combat fear, especially the fear of rejection, is to value what equips you. ‘Cause when you realize you have what it takes to overcome, you won’t hesitate to stand your ground when the dodgeballs start flyin’, not to mention you’ll be in position to catch and dispatch them.

Just remember: When a fear of rejection is elevated to the point of dodging certain people and situations, you’re ultimately giving it the power to manipulate your emotions and decisions. Instead, why not dare to be a conqueror (Romans 8:37) and reject fear rather than let fear do the rejecting²?

3) Replace it.

Perhaps one of the most misinterpreted passages in all of Scripture is 1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” At first glance, we may think Peter is suggesting love cancels out certain offenses; however, when we dissect the text, we find love, in this context, is a covering, more specifically…an opportunity for us to confront³, forgive, and press on in love-soaked honesty.

How does this apply to a fear of rejection? Well, for starters, the opposite of love is fear (not hate). Furthermore, love must speak truth (Ephesians 4:15) and requires action with respect to sin. Thus, if we value honesty as the first step of love⁴ and recognize fear as a reciprocating response, then we’ll realize how a) a fear of rejection numbs us to what we were created for⁵and b) the absence of fear is not the endgame, but rather the beginning!

In other words, if you want to move on the right way, but are still burdened by a fear of rejection, don’t just recognize and renounce it. Rather, take the next step and ask God specifically how He wants you to replace it!

‘Cause when you do, you’ll not only discover a new commitment to communicate the truth in love, but also unlock a stronger fear of Him⁶.

Footnotes

1) Note: Initially, I had planned to write this piece on the fears of rejection and mediocrity; however, I’ve since decided to split this up into two parts, with today’s discussion focusing on the fear of rejection and next week’s feature on the fear of mediocrity.

2) There’s basically two responses to fear: “Forget everything and run” or “Face everything and rise”

3) …without taking offense

4) Inspired by Steve Fry’s sermon at The Gate Community Church on Sunday, May 31

5) Seriously…what sense does it make to forfeit even the potential for relational restoration and/or clarity in exchange for passive living, isolation, guilt, and dissatisfaction.

6) As honesty abounds, you’ll find a fear of rejection will confound.

Photo credits: shifttohappy.com

4 Truths For When You Feel Purposeless

May 20, 2015June 4, 2015Leave a comment

Have you ever wondered what to do when you feel like you’re not making a difference? When you’re striving to find meaning on the conveyor belt of life?

Perhaps you’ve questioned whether or not your life’s present lines up with your purpose…if you’re on the right path with the right people.

If you have, then congratulations! You’re absolutely, positively human.

Granted, such questions contain universal relevance; however, it’s still important to know how to answer them when they surface.

‘Cause truth is: The bivocational life can feel like is a jungle…with doubt, a quicksand of the mind. But with the Word in hand along with the proper tools, even the toughest terrain can be ‘macheted’ through¹.

So ultimately, this lesson is as much preparation as it is exploration.

—————————————————————————————————————————————

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not a fan of my day job.

How I’m wired, what fuels me, what I’m aiming for…couldn’t be further from my current occupational residency.

Not to mention, I work in an environment where I’m like a modern David running away from a bunch of Saul’s with spears in their hands¹.

You talk about not feeling like you make a difference. Let’s just say I’m there.

However…this doesn’t mean my place at my job is a mistake (as I’ll later address next month).

Rather, it simply means I’ve bought into the following truths…

1) God has a flawless purpose for everyone…

Scriptures: Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28, Proverbs 16:9, Isaiah 58:11

2) Some seasons are supposed to be ridiculously challenging…

Scriptures: Psalm 66:10, Zechariah 13:9, Romans 9:21, Isaiah 64:8

3) Being stretched beyond bandwidth is best seen as a compliment from God…

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 10:13, 2 Corinthians 9:8, Hebrews 12:6, James 1:2-4, Romans 5:1-5

4) Our identity isn’t rooted in what we do.

Scriptures: John 1:12, Ephesians 1:5, Genesis 1:27, Jeremiah 1:5, 1 Peter 2:9

Thus, we don’t have to accept the chains our circumstances offer us. We don’t have to live in trepidation just because of someone’s sick prejudice. And we don’t have to waste our breath grilling God for mispositioning us when we can anchor our trust in the fact He always knows what He’s doing.

Why? ‘Cause trust is not dependent on having the answers; it’s dependent on believing the one Who does.

And I’m telling you, friends…when you remove entitlement from the equation³, there’s no doubt in my mind you will see differently.

So be encouraged to embrace God’s sovereignty and marinate in His faithfulness.

‘Cause when you do, you’ll not only defeat deceptive feelings of purposelessness, but you’ll also discover the ways you can make a difference and leave a legacy even in the deserts and wildernesses of life. Furthermore, you’ll cultivate greater steadfastness in the face of temptation, especially the desire to prematurely quit⁴.

So if you’re strugglin’ today feeling worthless, stuck in the mud or frozen at a crossroads in zero visibility…faint not (Galatians 6:9), resist vain comparisons (Galatians 5:26)…and know the indescribable has made you indescribably.

Stay tuned next time when we’ll tackle our second question: How do you cope with the fears of rejection and mediocrity?

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Footnotes

1) We can’t control the setting we’re in, but we can control how we ready ourselves and respond in the wake of discouragement

2) Nothing like people conspiring against you to test the depth of your character

3) When you abandon the “right” to understand the way you see fit

4) For all you bivocationals out there…this is arguably the greatest lesson we can learn outside the two greatest commandments

Photo credits: ignant.de & finemind.com

Why We Need Vulnerability in Bivocational Ministry

May 11, 2015March 28, 20181 Comment

Have you ever wondered what to do when you feel stuck and misunderstood at the same time?

I know I have.

In fact, it’s hard to remember a week when I haven’t thought about this at least once.

After all, when we talk about persevering through our purpose, no doubt, the topic holds perpetual relevance.

But for the bivocational who feel their life is like the Truman Show & Groundhog’s Day had a baby, sometimes truisms aren’t enough.

Not to sound blasphemous or anything. I just know for people like me, it helps when I’m able to voice the struggles that come with the territory…and partner with people in troubleshooting their quandaries.

Thus, if any of you can relate…let’s just say you’ve come to the right place.

Before His Girl Fryday launched, Lyssah and I did some research on bivocational issues and noted plenty of materials concerning the benefits of “bivocational ministry”; however, when it came to the challenges, we noticed a startling lack of content.

So in the days following, we asked ourselves some hard-hitting questions…

…like what makes the “cost of bivocational ministry” a taboo topic…

…and why do some avoid confronting the truth when it seems to lack appeal?

After taking time to drill down, we realized:

The #1 thing bivocational ministers crave above all else is encouragement; hence, why so much content caters to this particular need.

However…

Bivocational ministers in hope of inspiration often stiff-arm opportunities capable of better equipping them for adversity.

Granted, it’s completely human to want edification; however, as bivocational ambassadors, we must realize we’re not called to manufacture floatation devices when storms come. ‘Cause truth is, if we want to walk in true freedom, we must get real about our struggles as opposed to tuning them out*.

And hear me…I get how easy it can be to rely on personal strength and distractions when we sense hopelessness knocking on our door.

Yet, it’s at that point we must embrace what we were ultimately designed for (i.e. accountability, intimacy, endurance, community, etc) to see and live the whole truth as God intended.

So while I’m all about encouragement and inspiration, I’m also aware we must be fearless in addressing the deep, dark closet spaces of our hearts.

Thus, in the coming weeks, we’re going to “de-taboo” some of life’s most complex questions…like…

What do you do when you feel like you’re not making a difference?

How do you respond when your authorities persecute you?

How do you cope with the fears of rejection and mediocrity?

What do you do when you feel old rejections are holding you back?

What do you do when you’re in the right place, but can’t connect relationally?

What do you do when you doubt God’s plan…and all you want to do is give up?

Of course, these questions only represent the tip of the iceberg.

Yet, as we tackle these issues, it’s my hope we not only discover the beauty in being bivocational but also the power that comes when we embrace the cost.

So in closing, I encourage you to ask yourself: Are you willing to let go of anything not God for the sake of trusting Him every step of the way?

In the meantime, stay tuned for a new post next week when we address our first question: What do you do when you feel like you’re not making a difference?

Fighting the good fight,

~ Cameron

Footnotes

*Trust me…I’ve tried self-medicating many different ways. It never works.

Photo credits: revivingthesoul.com & synergyforministry.org