Hidden Glory: The Beauty of God’s Wrath

September 8, 2024September 8, 2024Leave a comment

Written 1/20/15; revised 9/8/24

Recently, during a discussion with a local pastor, the following question came up: How would you explain God’s anger and jealousy to a junior higher?

A fair inquiry since teaching these attributes of God’s character can feel like threading a needle at times. Fortunately, there are practical truths and illustrations ministers can use to teach these qualities.

For instance, before tackling God’s wrath and jealousy head on, we must define love and God’s identity as love (1 John 4:8). Once this relationship has been established, a young person will understand not only their ‘loved-and-valued-by-God’ identity, but also how love and wrath are not emotions as much as they are choices!

This in mind, we can…

Emphasize the fact when God gets angry, He gets angry for us, not at us!
Associate free will and eternal separation to God’s respect for human freedom.
Explain anger and jealousy in the context of being the objects of God’s love.

Once the difference between the “self-ed” individual and the “loved” person has been specified, we can start to cover related topics such as…

The connection between freedom and relationships
The connection between freedom and God’s authority
How God’s authority is another word for His love
The danger of independence
The insanity of sin
The importance of the cross
How there can be no love without justice since justice validates love

Furthermore, if we’re to successfully educate students on this subject, we must contract the wrath of God versus the wrath of man.

While man’s wrath is emotional and indefensible, God’s wrath is holy and justifiable.
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Often times, when the hearts of men harden, we demand justice as a response to offense; however, when God’s heart hardens, He desires offense to be righted as an overflow of His original design being known. Accordingly, it could be said that within His wrath, He wants us to be free from His wrath!

For those who give glory and honor to ‘other gods’, the Bible says He feels a divine jealousy for them (2 Corinthians 11:2). What is this exactly? For starters, let’s consider the rest of 2 Corinthians 11 and how it breaks down. In summary,

All glory and honor belong to God and God alone.
Although man’s jealousy is often sinful as a function of entitlement, God’s jealousy is upright since it centers on communion with His beloved.

In conclusion, addressing the theme of God’s wrath, especially with students, requires precision and order. In this age, many family and academic structures are broken and lack empathy. As pastors, we must understand enemy ploys as any stake where love and wrath are separated and twisted with the tapestry of performance, reciprocity, and tolerance. While the task may be difficult, the freedom we can facilitate is worth the undertaking.

Biblical example: Exodus 11 (Moses & the burning bush – when God says, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I?”

Real-life example: A God who is rightfully angry can be compared to an athletic coach who is leading an underachieving team loaded with potential. A good coach doesn’t get angry at the players for losing the game. Rather he is jealous for them because he knows they are better than the outcome – that their talent level is better than what’s being realized. He doesn’t give up on his players, but instead pushes them harder and keeps working with them on an individual/team basis.

Cover graphic creds: Peakpx

Office Angst: 7 Signs of a Toxic Workplace (Part 1)

March 8, 2024August 28, 20241 Comment

Recently, I was driving to work and it occurred to me: By the end of this year, I will have reached the 15-year mark as a full-time employee in corporate America. Crazy how time flies (or Frys in my case), eh?

While I’ve benefited from tight teams in years past, I’ve also worked on some, ahem, not so tight teams educating me to the contrary. With a notable marketplace mileage marker on the horizon, I want to examine some signs of toxic leadership/work culture as well as how we can overcome within our co-worker in Christ identity (1 Corinthians 3:9).

As always, let’s dive in!

1. Teammates aren’t treated as diverse in function, co-equal in value.

While diversity, inclusivity, and equality discussions are expected initiatives in today’s marketplace, let’s be honest: How committed are most employers to consistently upholding these principles? As much as we gravitate towards hierarchy, performance-based metrics, and capitalistic tendencies, the bottom line to this point is essentially outcome divided by constancy.

In the long run, no organization can reach its potential without each member understanding and operating within their value.
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Granted, some leave it to the individual to derive their own sense of purpose which can be fair in the context of guiding from a distance. Otherwise, vocationals should know whatever systems they’re in cannot reach their ceiling if people aren’t treated as diverse in function, co-equal in value.

Think about it: If your work leadership encourages favoritism and limits opportunities to a select few, then odds are teamwide morale will decrease and internal tension will increase. Why is this? I submit the significance of this reality is due to it being one of deepest core corporate identities. From an original design perspective, we were (and are) intended to serve as one body. Applied to the marketplace, this means we steward structures that provide equal opportunity for growth to every position and take the same approach to feedback and general engagement (More on this in a future post as honestly, this is one of my favorite topics to discuss).

Note: To those in high-level positions, consider the Jethro principles and seek to execute them effectively so middle managers are accountable to develop those under their care. If you’re young and starting out, find a leader or seasoned veteran with mentorship potential and watch how they respond to feedback and instruction. Who knows? Even if the culture is weak, you may still be able to derive motivation and inspiration from those who are secure in their strengths.

Supporting Bible verses: Hebrews 10:25, 1 Corinthians 12:12-27, 1 Corinthians 3:9, Exodus 18:14-26

2. Passive-aggressive and/or manipulative leadership.

Another side-effect of toxic leadership involves the deliberate withholding of constructive criticism, encouragement, and/or gratitude. In a post-pandemic world, you may have noticed passive-aggressive supervisors falling into one of these camps, using silence or support withdrawal as primary communications tools; however, under no circumstances, should these behaviors be tolerated.

‘Cause truth is: A mature leader not only knows when and how to deliver feedback but facilitates phycological safety, trust, and confidence in challenging situations. If you’re in an environment where leaders have ambushing agendas, redelegate tasks without proper communication, or uses silence to communicate, then I have news for you:

You deserve better!
Leaders who drive wedges and/or use ego to stir division aren’t true leaders!

Of course, I’m not suggesting you abandon ship if you’re currently working under a similar authority. Conversely, I’m encouraging you to take inventory of offenses, collect your emotions, and find a time to speak with the appropriate authority (I.e. supervisor or HR Manager depending on the situation) to clear the air. As long as you integrate other voices and honor your leaders and colleagues, your intentions will be well grounded as you steward peace, advocacy, and forward motion.

Supporting Bible verses: Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 28:2-26, Romans 16:17-18, James 3:14, Ephesians 4:14, Luke 16:8b, Matthew 5:37

3. Lack of trust, communication, and engagement.

Per point #2, if a leader lacks trust, even with a subordinate, the ideal move is to confront the issue fostering the deficit or dissonance. Generally, an employee who feels they aren’t trusted wants to discern areas of improvement; hence, why indifference, or the perception thereof, is not only deflating but often an overflow of a toxic environment.

As you may have learned in your own experiences, a lack of communication will almost always create some form of chaos, angst, or strife, but sound leaders are keen to promote the well-being of their teammates. Remember an occasional check-in or positive acknowledgement can go a long way in reinforcing a worker’s understanding of their value while also regulating their emotions. Regardless of our role, dare to diffuse discord through compassionate engagement and curiosity.

Supporting Bible verses: 1 Corinthians 15:33-44, Titus 3:10

4. No formal review process and/or pathway for development.

As an employee with public, private, and liturgical experience, I can speak candidly to this point having seen this process mapped out a variety of ways. If your employer has no formal performance evaluation process where the only criticism is given in moments of error, then you have a major red flag in your hand.

As my time has taught me, all employees deserve to know if the work they’re doing is effective and efficient. Since we’ve established feedback and communication withholding as signs of environmental toxicity, the call here is straight-forward: Develop and promote a review process where all team members top-down are accountable and have a means to build areas of strength and weakness alike. Even if the meeting frequency is quarterly or biannual, the impacts can be massive as you streamline a process to preserve morale in tandem with corporate performance.

Supporting Bible verses: James 1:19, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 4:6

Stay tuned next time when I’ll conclude this post with my final three points including a podcast overviewing the content. For now…

Have an amazing weekend!

Cover photo creds: Sesame Disk

Miracle in the Making: The Jubilee Journey (Part 6)

November 9, 2021November 9, 2021Leave a comment

It’s a chilling 72 degrees as I type this.

Still rattling from another week of dodging arrows, taking them in the back in some cases.

I’m done with this. I’m so fed up and yet starving at the same time. Forget why; I just want to know when.

When will things get better? When will things start to turn around?

I look at Juby and I delight in her progress. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the journey…the literal baby steps one must take during these intense stretches.

But when it’s Monday morning and you’ve been out of home for three months. When it’s a brand new day and your only source of sanctuary betrays you, I’m sorry, I just can’t even…

…not anymore.

Don’t get me wrong; I haven’t given up or anything. Contrarily, I sometimes wonder if not knowing how to not believe is part of what’s working.

Yet, as I continue to wrestle and keep my head above the water, I discover new depths to what faith is like at the end of its rope…

…and it is gloriously terrifying. A place you relish and long to relinquish at the same time.

Like many paradoxes, the dichotomy is confusing. After all, vertical reliance is supposed to be uncomfortable – an achy burn as opposed to a contagious high.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: I trust God has something in store for Lys & I once this season blows over. It’s just getting harder to move, to leave the house, to function really. Even though we’re hard pressed on every side, but not crushed, even though we’re perplexed on multiple fronts, but not [yet in] despair, the temptation to think otherwise entices me.

How can the life of Jesus fully manifest when all I can do is stand? How can His glory be revealed when I’m this lost searching for a horizon to light my way?

Sure, I can stiff-arm fear all day, but at day’s end, I just want to know where I am headed.

I’m sure I’m not the only one out there wondering this right now.

Disoriented and fatigued, my charge tonight is simple…

If you find yourself at the end of your rope, rejoice in the stillness and tie a knot.

You may feel like you’re trembling on a precipice, but where courage lacks is also where much is given. In time, you will be able to strain forward to what lies ahead. For now, embrace the opportunity to receive as you persevere, let steadfastness have its full effect, and hold fast the confession of hope without wavering.

Even when you step out of your car and a freak gear glitch causes it to launch into a neighbor’s yard before you somehow, someway stop it from crashing into their house, count it all joy. Tally up His goodness and scale your conflicts accordingly.

Take it from one in the trenches with you. Your life isn’t as broken as you think. And even if it is, there’s not a solve or repair unbeknownst to God.

Why not trust the handiness of His hands as you trade in your sorrows?

Just sayin’…

Selah.

Cover photos creds: Word Slingers

3 Ways to Overcome Labeling at Work

August 31, 2020September 2, 20201 Comment

Labels.

They can be tough to handle. As one who has endured his fair share, my heart is sensitive to those wrestling with identity, to those struggling in the shadow of slander and prejudice. While some people know the truth of who you are, the fact is many are in the dark to what makes them unique. And if we’re to mature in wisdom and influence within our communal arenas, how we stand firm when assailed by this demographic is worth discussion.

Regardless of what we do or where we’re at, whenever vulnerability strikes, having a game-plan is vital in our quest to be more than conquerors (Romans 8:37). Accordingly, here are three ways we can bust the boxes people put us in and prevent their labels from becoming our tags.

1. Anchor Your Belief

Before we take any action, the best way to deal with backbiting is to resist fear through the Scriptures. While how we respond as follow-through is important, how we react in the moment is just as, if not more, crucial. Here’s a check-down of some verses I quote when I sense typecasting, favoritism, or neglect:

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].” ~ 1 Timothy 2:7 (AMP)

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.” ~ 1 John 4:18-19 (ESV)

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” ~ Psalm 34:4 (ESV)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” ~ Philippians 4:6 (ESV)

Note how this is merely a shortlist; obviously, you can customize your ‘fear resistant’ prayer guide however you please. Just be advised when you’re on the clock in real-time, our tendency to misread and misjudge what we observe is constantly tested; hence, why it’s important not only to know what you believe but also how to take captive what doesn’t align.

Bottom line: When you suspect attitudinal shifts, be slow to believe what you perceive. Don’t be afraid to resist unnecessary judgments, labels, and deceptions. Even if all you can do initially is defer, defer in faith with the hope of casting all anxieties on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7)

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2. Pray into the Offense

When we suspect people are labeling us, it’s hard not to take offense. Even if we can’t prove a typecast, the temptation to rationalize what we’re sensing is real, sometimes tantalizing. I know for me, when I perceive a relational distancing from colleagues or co-workers, I start to crave reconciliation before it’s necessary. On one level, I feel a surge of self-perseveration desperate to find a reason why; on another, I’m frustrated to have to own anything in the first place. It’s like a winless tug-of-war: I want to be heard, understood, and not given up on, but in case those fears verify, I want to, at least, be the next best thing…to be right. Not exactly a sustainable formula if community is to be a pure pursuit.

For those wondering why the transparency: I have no problem being vulnerable because I know I’m not alone. The fact is in most cases, insecurity fuels our offenses and if we don’t acknowledge and repent of them, they can pollute our view of relationships, identity, place and purpose, etc.

So what then? If people are nice one day and suddenly stop acknowledging our existence the next, we’re supposed to keep our mouth shut and be okay with it? Well, no, I’m not saying we neglect the opportunities to bridge divides. Conversely, I’m saying if grudges or walls emerge, we must first lean on God’s understanding to accurately see the situation. From there, we can take rest knowing we’re proactively sowing peace as opposed to reactively striving for peace. For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus. Through Him, we can persevere in prayer and thanksgiving that all men be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:1-5).

Bottom line: Seek correction before direction. Let God be the space between your hurts and emotions. Release the want to control, manipulate, and be a victim. All the while, pray into the offense and don’t be overcome by the absence of good. Rather be the good in the voids you sense, real or imagined.

3. Turn the Cheek…and the Tide

For most of us, we’re familiar with Matthew 5:38-40:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is . But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.”

While the general meaning of this passage is to approach evil in the opposite spirit, the concept of turning the other cheek can still be confusing. Is Jesus suggesting we tolerate the presence of malice, gossip, passive-aggressiveness, even silos in our workplaces? Is he hinting we embrace suffering and survivalism as socially acceptable? Not at all. Au contraire, he’s implying we encourage all people through a double portion of his nature.

For instance, if we encounter a void of good, when people are intentionally forsaking us, don’t respond by doing the same. Why lower your standards and behaviors to a level outside your faith? Instead, know your power source and abide in the current of his grace. In this way, you defuse offense, inspire virtue as a contagious overflow, and preserve what needs to be said in a spirit of love.

Bottom line: In the presence of evil, in the absence good, you can’t turn the tide if you don’t turn the cheek. Don’t live in defeat in a moment’s heat but be true to what is right as you stir others to do the same.

Selah.

Stay tuned next time when I’ll dive back into my ‘Trinity as Structure‘ series to discuss the Trinity’s influence on teamwork. For now, I bid you adieu with an inspiring video from New Hope Church:

Cover photo creds: https://medium.com

The Right [of] Way: A Farewell to TDOT

November 19, 2019September 2, 2022Leave a comment

It’s a cold day [at TPAC] as I take this final skyline glance.

Vacancies once held now seven years of vibrancies starring back at me. Crazy how a city can reflect what you already know – the fact life is a highway built on and by dust…the cold yet beautiful reality that life is a vapor because it was spoken into by such.

Still, the question remains…

How can one possibly capture a septennial’s worth of growth? Or put into words a spiritual journey equivalent to a Sahara crossing with one camel and a military canteen?

Whatever the answer, I won’t shy from letting words fly given this post is ultimately a testimony to God’s sovereignty. As such, I encourage you: Don’t read this as a summary of one man’s odyssey, but a synthesis of God’s faithfulness to transform.

Prologue aside, let’s dive in…

When I started with TDOT Finance in April 2012, life was a bull market. From Lyssah to LEGACYouth to graduate school, everything seemed fresh and exciting. For the first time in years, I was enjoying all aspects of life – a stark contrast to the brutal four years preceding.

Yet, by fall 2013, many of these facets began to settle. While most things ministry and marriage-wise were flourishing, the same couldn’t be said about work. After a “promotion” from Budget to Payables, I struggled not only adjusting to the position but having to be in it at all. Unlike the two generations of Fry’s before me, I couldn’t support my family through pastoral ministry alone. Consequently, I often clocked in already feeling like a failure…like I didn’t belong.

And so, I vilified the culture, my 7-3:30 reality a necessary evil disguised as a reincarnated Matrix.

On the surface, I was pressing on, but deep down, I was defeated, a prisoner of my own narrative. To be free was to be out, but I had no escape plan. Just a spray of mental splinters reminding me I had nothing to offer.

For years, I believed the lie my value couldn’t be realized at TDOT. While I was able to return to Budget by summer 2014, by then, the early stages of depression had settled in. Driven by lingering guilt from past seasons, it was clear the fight to tame my despair was not being helped at work. If anything, the lack of voice and professional development only compounded the problem. Perhaps had I not compartmentalized my ‘loved by God’ identity, these voids wouldn’t have hindered the way they did.

Either way, by January 2015, my disdain for the work culture had finally trickled into disdain for certain people. No longer could I emotionally separate the two. Like a house divided, my joy was one-sided with each day an elevator countdown and a prayer against hopelessness. Long gone were the days I could thrive; I just wanted to survive.

And yet, life was fantastic behind the scenes. For starters, all things family and LEGACYouth continued to bloom – the best years coinciding with the worse years at TDOT. I was coming off a solid two year run at MTSU where I received my Master’s in Education: Instruction and Curriculum. And to cap it off, after hitting three years in youth ministry, I was had started working towards my licensure with Messenger Fellowship.

However, the major plot turn came during spring 2015 when I started to sense God’s call to create a written resource for vocationals¹. At first, I questioned if this word was from God given the timing made no sense. Not only did I feel disqualified, but emotionally unprepared to tackle such a task. Who was I to say ‘yes’ in light of where my heart was at?

But looking back, perhaps I shouldn’t have been so surprised considering…

Even in our darkest hours, God is faithful to stir in ‘content’ despite our discontent.
It’s often in the places we’re snake-bitten where God wants to deliver healing and entrust authority.

At any rate, after months of underground writing, His Girl Fryday published during summer 2015 to a humble following of 25 followers with biweekly posts and a podcast launch a few years after. But for TDOT, the key takeaway was the big picture – the fact God would use a special project to erode my heart of stone and transform it back into a heart of flesh. After all, it’s hard to stay mad at the marketplace when marketplace people represent your target audience. I guess that’s why they say, ‘God is without a sense of humor’.

Flash-forward to January 2019 and my heart is three years softer towards all things TDOT. Granted, there were some tough days; however, the inner maturation was now at a point I could daily choose joy, declare gratitude, and receive rest. Having learned a new rhythm of releasing, rarely did I carry anxiety into a new day. By God’s strength and power, I was being renewed regularly and refreshed in the mundane.

By early February, a new assignment had emerged, this time a Bible study open to all TDOT employees. As the Lord assured me, the inner man was ready to lead a charge that hadn’t been attempted in over two decades. A drive I would have laughed at four years prior, now a Spirit-led operation to plant a community of God’s presence. Using a mix of His Girl Fryday and Messenger Fellowship/Commission U content, I began to translate church-speak discipleship into digestible vocational dialogue. Though attendance rarely hit double-digits, the study would ignite a few more throughout the James K. Polk building. At last, the final chapter of my seven-year TDOT journey was complete.

By now, I bet you’re wondering…

And to that, I’d reply: The point is the story itself and the source it comes from. The way I see it, God permitted my TDOT landing so I could learn how to abide in a place I didn’t fit and love within a culture I didn’t understand. Along the way, I discovered how much more Jesus I needed…how I couldn’t possibly love and lead without His daily presence manifesting as sustaining power. I also tasted the bitter dregs of indifference, resentment, and what it’s like to project insecurity onto those mirroring your own struggle. If only I received correction without assuming gracelessness, no question, much grief during my time at TDOT could have been spared.

Still, when I look back on my TDOT tenure, what I’ll ultimately remember are the seven wonderful years I had to grow in my professionalism. Could have I been sent to more trainings, webinars, and conferences? Yes. Was it difficult being a travel specialist getting to send people all over the country without being able to join them? Absolutely.

Yet, at day’s end, all this is moot.

For many are the miles, but few are the meters to loving your neighbor. Much is the work, but much more are the people who work it.

Therefore, whether we’re CPA’s or ASA’s², remember what matters is faith, hope, and love channeled through attitude, integrity, and legacy. The road may not always be easy, but as long as we stay the course, the freedom and ripening we crave will come.

As for now, I relish this moment to say, ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’ not only to my TDOT family, but every breakthrough, confrontation, and endeavor that has occurred the past seven years. What started as a single man looking for occupational and financial stability has ended with a family of five finding spiritual and vocational stability in the places that matter most.

One line ends, another begins. No question, I’m on a higher precipice thanks to what I learned here.

‘Til next time, here’s to the next and the undeniable truth that the best is yet to come…

Selah.