3 Ways to Handle Unfair Criticism

August 18, 2017August 18, 2017Leave a comment

If you’ve worked a job long enough, chances are you know what it’s like to be falsely accused. After all, rumors, gossip, backstabbing = just another day in the workplace, right?

Yet, while we can all agree condemnation is never fun, not all may agree on how to overcome; still, as an advocate of reconciliation, I submit even on the darkest of days, there’s always a roadmap to resolve.

To get us there, here are three basic truths we can rely on when coping with unfair rebuke…

1. Don’t take it personally

Let’s be honest: when we receive unfair rebuke, it’s easy to lock into defense mode (i.e. shutting down, walling up, and basing every thought/action around hurt prevention). Sure, we may take the punches, turn the other cheek, heck, we may even get back up again…but at the end of the day, we’re often far too content remaining frozen in cynicism and analysis paralysis (i.e. over-thinking a situation towards indifference).

Perhaps you can relate to a colleague dishing out unnecessary criticism or a supervisor unwilling to hear your side of the story. Maybe you once wanted to rightfully confront an issue, but fearing job security, kept quiet in hope ‘this too shall pass’.

If so, then it’s important no matter what situation you’re in to not take it personally.

‘Cause while offense may feel good in the moment, truth is: it’s never the answer to reproach or resolution.

But Cam…all I want is to be heard and understood. What’s so wrong about that?

Technically, nothing; however, if offense is your default reaction whenever a finger is pointed at you, are you not doing unto the ‘offender’ what you don’t want them doing unto you?

Bottom line: Rather than stack shoulder chips, dare to defend against offense rather than with it. That way you deactivate pride and open the door for humility¹ to enter, which as I’ll explain in my next point, makes taking offense a lot harder.

2. Respond with class

As mentioned in point #1, when unwarranted criticism strikes, human nature often gravitates towards silence. For some of us, this can be a good thing initially (key word) as ‘quiet time’ allows us to process and collect our thoughts; however, at some point, it’s important we respond to critique rather than sweep it under the carpet pretending it didn’t happen.

Case and point: A few years back I had a supervisor who called me out in front of some colleagues before apologizing on my behalf without my consent. At first I was offended. Not only did I have no idea what I’d done wrong, but also why my supervisor would jump the gun without discussing the matter with me one-on-one.

With the wind knocked out of me, I sank in discouragement…disguising hurt as focus. Yet, after realizing my processing was teetering on pouting, I decided if I didn’t want a repeat, I had to confront the issue head on in humility.

To do this, I first acknowledged what I could have done better to diffuse defensiveness and establish submission. Then, I addressed the misunderstandings in a way where context could be delivered and exchanged. Granted, I could have started the dialogue here and the conversation turn out okay; however, I knew if wanted to better learn where my boss was coming from, I had to lay down my walls first.

Thus, if you’re like me in the sense you crave context, always ensure it’s both deliverable and receivable when discussing difficult subject matter. That way you come across as understanding, not withstanding.

Bottom line: In the wake of reproach, keep your responses discernably demonstrative, not irrationally remonstrative.

3. Follow through

As a basketball connoisseur, I’ve always been fascinated with jump shooting. I remember as a little kid riding my bike to the library each summer, picking up some VHS tutorials of Reggie Miller and Ray Allen, and watching them over and over until I mastered that elegant, fluid release (i.e. ‘follow-through’; see definition/instruction/animation below).

How to follow-through (basketball)

Your wrists should be floppy (relaxed).
Fingers should be pointed at the target (rim).
Finish high. You should see your fingers at the top square of the back board.
Hold your follow through position until the ball hits the rim.

What does this have to do with handling wrongful accusation, you say?

Well, in the same way the follow-through allows the hand to maintain motion and guides the ball’s trajectory closer to the basket, focusing on smaller wins² (i.e. baby steps/progress points on your way to recovery/restoration; see examples below) can maintain confidence and guide selflessness after a bruising experience.

Remember who you are is loved and what you’re called to is love. So if you want to ‘peace’ yourself together, why not give yourself an outlet to express that? Yeah, I know it can be overwhelming at first to reach out, especially when you’re trying to mask pain, but as I’ve learned in recent years, when you invest in those small wins, it’s amazing what can result.

Bottom line: If you’re unjustly critiqued, don’t stay low, finish high…and follow-through.

Footnotes

Humility = the pathway to ‘nowhere but up’
‘Small win’ examples = initiating conversation with colleague, seeking advice from mentor, reading the Word/referencing God, praying, taking ungodly thoughts captive, random acts of kindness, re-focusing energy and attention away from pain, etc.)

Cover image creds: Psychology Today (edited by Cameron Fry)

3 Keys to Communicating Vision

July 30, 2017July 30, 20173 Comments

When it comes to quality leadership, no question, one of the hardest challenges is communicating vision (i.e. important information necessary for growth and progress). From filtering content to personal interaction, the marriage of progress to relationship can be a messy process. Thankfully, where there’s a will, there’s a way, even if it doesn’t happen the way we want or when we want.

That said…here are three keys to communicating vision effectively…

Say What You Need to Say

When casting vision, it’s important to remember conciseness is more valuable than eloquence. After all, a platform should never be about exposing what you know (i.e. show off), but rather what your audience needs to know (i.e. show how)…which brings me to my first point:

When communicating what an audience needs to know, start with what you need to say first.

More specifically, don’t just filter your content; break it down into lucid, bite-sized bits. That way, you can better discern what is necessary and what is footnote material before you communicate.

For instance, as a wordsmith in youth ministry, I’ve learned my best points, whether delivering a sermon or leading a team meeting, are best received when they lack syntactic ambiguity. In other words, when I use words and phrases that don’t mean different things to different people, not only do I enable my content to be coherent, but I empower my students to interpret it the way it was intended.

Bottom line: Vision doesn’t just point people in the right direction (i.e. makes it plain; see Romans 1:19), it shows them how to get there (bonus points if you include illustrations). Therefore, if you want your audience to capture the vision, make sure you say what you need to say and what your audience needs to hear, not what you want to say or what they think they want to hear.

Speak the Truth in Love

Yeah, yeah…you get this in theory, but if you’re like me in the sense this doesn’t come as easy in execution, remember you may be in a time crunch, you may have a lot on your plate; however, if you’re not communicating truth in love along the way, not only do you risk a discouraged team, but a disjointed vision split from purpose.

To piggy-back off point #1: what you need to say can’t be what you need to say if love isn’t a part of it. Sure, you may be brimming with epiphanies and award-winning ideas, but if vision isn’t vision without truth and truth isn’t truth without love, then vision can’t be vision detached from best intention.

Remember vision not only seeks the best possible corporate outcome, but inspires love among its enforcers. Thus, if you aim to love, not only will team morale enhance, but the bond between vision and audience will tighten as well.

Bottom line: 1) Without love, vision is nothing more than a good idea. 2) Vision, in the context of love, motivates people to keep pursuing it. 3) If you know the truth, speak it in love; if you don’t, love as you pursue it. Either way, it’s a win-win.

Make it Memorable

While vision, at its core, is the mergence of point #1 and #2, if it lacks conviction or captivation, chances are it’s not memorable either. Granted, truth should never be a function of marketability; however, while good vision knows its audience, great vision considers what they’ll remember.

Hence, it’s worth asking: how do you take an entire vision and frame it into something that’s easy to remember and hard to forget?

For starters, it’s always best to keep it simple and straightforward. Focus on syntax and word selection. Use correct grammar. Be exact in meaning. Then, if necessary, add some flair and poetic license (i.e. turn it into a jingle, structure it ABC style, pose it with rhyme scheme, integrate a relatable metaphor/simile, etc.) Whatever method you apply, remember the goal is to make sure your audience can extend the vision. While making vision plain may seem contrary to making it memorable, if you consider ‘plain’ as the foundation, it will ultimately enable you to build your vision in a way people can understand and promote.

Bottom line: When vision becomes memorable, the impacts become inevitable.

Photo creds: Trendy Bloggers, Giphy

Faith at Work: Rethinking Influence

June 8, 2017May 30, 2020Leave a comment

If you’ve been a frequent flyer with us over the years, chances are you know we’re passionate about helping bivocationals bridge the gap between sacred and secular…in living the same way on Monday as they do on Sunday.

But lately I’ve been thinking: What if we’ve been looking at the Sunday –> Monday discussion all wrong?

I know, like many, I’ve heard my share of seasoned voices charging consistency within the body of Christ. Yet, the more I consider this in the context of commissioned marketplace leaders, the more I wonder if the core issue has more to do with connecting our influence than leading from spiritual authority/expertise.

For instance, I may not have the most expert depth relative to my occupation, but I do have the mind of Christ guided by his thoughts and purposes (1 Corinthians 2:16 AMP). Sure, I may be a low man on the totem pole from a corporate hierarchical perspective; however, this doesn’t mean I lack influence.

You see…far too often we get distracted trying to make our spiritual lives stratiform¹. We take the ol’ Sunday adage of not being a once-a-week Christian, convince ourselves we’re not going to be that, then go out and try to extend our church person into “secular” places.

The problem is: if our influence is based on convincing others what we’re about rather than showing them why they’re here, then we can never experience real connection.

Why? ‘Cause real connection can’t happen without interdependent (i.e. two-way) relationship…without people actively investing ‘next step’ direction into one another.

Granted, how we approach compartmentalization and contextual inferences are worth discussion; however, as long as we aspire to share what we were made to know with whom we were made to engage, those issues will ultimately take care of themselves as relationships grow in faithfulness.

No reliance on institutionalizing, exaltation of effort, or Kingdom-izing business.

Just warmly abiding in the effortless rhythms of grace knowing it’s not about our credentials, but God’s competence flowing through them².

Thus, I submit…

If we choose to see leadership as influence and influence as helping people build their own, we allow transformative culture to establish itself.
If we want to get real about reaching people (from purpose), we must first get intentional about connecting our influence (on purpose).
Rather than encourage people to be the same on Monday as they are on Sunday, let’s show them in love how to be better today than they were yesterday.

‘Cause I’ll be honest: I don’t want to be on Monday who I was on Sunday; I want to be better today than the day before. I want to know the best God has in store. And then go out and live that forevermore.

Whatever gap we’re trying to bridge, why not start there? …

Footnotes

Preaching the choir here
That, my friends, is what being an influential marketplace priesthood is all about.

Photo creds: Wallpaper Abyss

Framing the Role: A Guide to Better Workplace (Part 2)

May 24, 2017June 4, 2017Leave a comment

Last week we discussed how ideal human resourcing assesses the inner man not only in hiring, but in training and development.

This week we’ll continue our downfield drive by focusing on marketplace education, specifically how employee and employer should approach deeper learning and training opportunities…

Make Deeper Learning ~~Equal~~ Evident

I’ve been blessed to serve under some laudable leadership over the years.

For instance, during my first summer with TDOT, my supervisor would make sure I understood concepts not only in correspondence, but also behind-the-scenes whether taking inventory at local garages or database management courses online. Whatever the project, whatever the assignment, he wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing and why I was doing it. As a result, not only did I feel regularly encouraged, but I felt driven to reach beyond expectation.

Unfortunately, after a season of turnover and transition, the ‘extra opportunity well’ would dry leaving certain endeavors in the dust; however, though the narrative of my role would change, I ultimately realized the emerging lack of definitive pathway didn’t have to determine my deeper learning trajectory.

Rather if I simply took the time to seek the opportunity, I would eventually be able to find and pursue it. All I needed was initiative and direction to compliment my resolve.

Perhaps some of you find yourself in a similar situation. If so, whether or not deeper learning opportunities are knocking at your door, it’s important to stay persistent and patient regardless of where you think you are.

‘Cause truth is: expecting possibilities to fall into your lap is the least effective way to advance what you know.

Should your employer have a clear guide/available resources for assistance? Absolutely. I’m not sayin’ veer clear of troubleshooting personnel; however, I am sayin’ rather than succumb to a ‘rich get richer’ mentality (like I once did), focus on devising a plan, developing a timeline, communicating intentions to your supervisor, and adjusting them according to your means.

Granted, you may be unsatisfied with your title/role, maxed out within your salary grade, or in a situation where you can’t move up unless you take out a loan to get a degree¹.

Yet, when I think back on smart decisions made during my TDOT tenure, no question pursuing open doors where I could mature skillsets usable inside and outside my work arena rank towards the top.

So for those wrestling with the ASAP advantage mentality, know while the pickins aren’t guaranteed to be plenty, sometimes the best move is to invest in what will benefit you down the road as opposed as to what could benefit you right now. After all, we were made to continually advance in some form or fashion.

As for the employers, understand the bond between deeper learning and morale. While it makes sense certain classifications will feature more learning/training opportunities, when employees within each classification are aware of what they can do to heighten their intellectual ceiling, you essentially heighten your quality control ceiling at the same time. Thus, as long as learning/credentialing opportunities exist, dare to be unconditional in conveying them to those you’ve chosen to hire. In doing so, you better frame the roles you seek to define.

Bottom line: When it comes to marketplace education, one of the best ways to steward awareness and morale is through in-house learning opportunities; however, like classification, a title should never drive deeper learning opportunities. Rather, deeper learning opportunities should drive the employee.

Footnotes

I know you can’t paint this subject with a broad brush.

Cover photo creds: Actively Learn

Framing the Role: A Guide to Better Workplace (Part 1)

May 15, 2017September 16, 2019Leave a comment

We all know there’s no such thing as the perfect working environment.

After all, work can’t exist without people and to err is human.

Still, whether you’re a bivocational minister, a supervisor, or an entry-level employee, chances are you care about how positions are developed and managed.

Thus, in the coming months, I want to unpack some basic concepts churches and businesses can use to frame their roles and equip their employees to thrive in them.

The goal? To help organizations make the best investments with their best hires to achieve the best outcomes.

Let’s dive in…

Assess the ‘Inner Man’

As a bivocational pastor with seven years of marketplace experience, I understand there are certain disadvantages when it comes to large and small scale human resourcing; however, I also believe bureaucracy and growth mismanagement doesn’t have to determine how classifications are managed.

For example, at my work¹, each classification is linked to a job plan involving a specific set of functions. Fair enough.

The problem is while roles are detailed well in their promotion, they’re overly dependent on ‘template’ in their evolution. As a result, employees feel boxed in with functions forged on title rather than gifting.

My thought is: if more organizations integrate character and gift assessment (i.e. DISC, Myers-Briggs, Strength Finders, enneagram testing, etc.) into hiring, training, and development processes, then more prospects/new hires could contribute the strength of who they are in addition to the strength of what they do.

Granted, big organizations are going to have different priorities. Yet, this doesn’t mean their personnel approach has to be shallow.

‘Cause truth is: while procedure and process are important, you can’t define a person by a job description nor can you separate the quality of a person from the quality of his work.

I know culturally we love streamlining/over-institutionalizing our way to bottom lines; however, if morale becomes the sacrifice in our quest to hierarchical efficiency, one must question the system.

Whatever our work situation, it’s important we remember our position is a journey, not a drop-off. And while the implications are many, bottom line…

Classifications should never compartmentalize what an employee can be (i.e. his innate nature in motion).
A piece of paper or paragraph on a screen should never determine or dictate the totality of function.
Given man gives life to function, not the other way around, the inner man must be considered in both the evaluation of fit and the evolution of role.

Stay tuned next time when we’ll tackle our next point on equal deeper learning opportunities. In the meantime, if you have a question, idea, or story to share, feel free to comment below.

Footnotes

Note: My appreciation for my workplace has grown considerably in recent months; however, this doesn’t mean I can’t advise from what should be improved.

Cover photo creds: Company Incorporation | Company Registration Singapore