Category: Life

Year in Review: A Look Back at 2024

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Remember Charles Dicken’s epic opening in “A Tale of Two Cities”?

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

Back in the day, I used to read these clauses as ‘either/or’, as if you could only be on one side of the ledger.

But lately, my interpretation has evolved to something more in line with Shannon Alder:

“Sometimes the best and worst times of your life can coincide. It is a talent of the soul to discover the joy in pain—-thinking of moments you long for, and knowing you’ll never have them again. The beautiful ghosts of our past haunt us, and yet we still can’t decide if the pain they caused us outweighs the tender moments when they touched our soul. This is the irony of love.”

Indeed, 2024, like any year, has featured its share of ups and downs, the rollercoaster largely attributable to family dynamics and the neurodivergences we daily troubleshoot. 

Yet, unlike last year, I’ve rediscovered my smile again, and as a vintage Mastercard commercial will tell you, you can’t put a price tag on that. As my prior Year in Review update attests, 2023 was one of the worst years I experienced, not only for me but for Lys and the rest of the family. Stuck in post-Juju grief, financial hardship, desperate for new work, there were many discouraging narratives outside our control. But twelve months later, I’m happy to say the landscape has changed dramatically, and with it, our perspective and outlook.

Of note, my first year at Mercy Multiplied was a major highlight. Heading into the year, I didn’t know how I would adjust to an Accounting Manager role after a four-year stint as a Client Support Manager; however, as I would soon find, the environment, training, and teaming would provide plenty of stability and balance. While much more could be said, the skinny is the faithfulness of God. By His grace, He has not only fused the best from past pitstops, but has also networked a foundation from which I’ve been able to apply lessons learned from those eras. Even in a high transition/turnover year, I’ve felt more anchored during the 9-5 as new skills, connections, and opportunities have accrued. Consequently, I head into 2025 with more occupational momentum and excitement than anticipated. 

On the home front, the most notable occurrence took place on February 13, 2024, on which my son, Milo, survived a brutal attack from our neighbor’s dog. Emotionally and physically shredded, Milo recovered quickly during the spring, though we continue to devote many hours to his healing. In light of Milo’s autistic diagnosis following the incident, his progress has included weekly occupational, feeding, and trauma therapies. As we navigate legal hurdles, we’ve also been investing in life wellness activities for Caeden and Everly as they advance in their own grief journeys. Needless to say, much of life this year has centered on restoration, though we rejoice in God’s sovereignty and knowing Satan’s intent to destroy our family has backfired tremendously.

In terms of memorable moments, our family trip to California in mid-May proved to be a horizon-broadening experience for the kids. Honoring the late Reverend Dennis Shuey in our travels, we soaked up the sun from Monterey to San Jose during our 8-day voyage. While the inspiration behind the trek was dampening, our time in the Golden State allowed for some much-needed family bonding and quality time. 

Weather-wise, there were two instances worthy of mention:

  1. Winter Storm Heather (January 14-15, 2024) – This event not only shattered expectations but was verified as a top three snow event dating back to the 1995-96 winter. Stuck at home for over a week, the eight consecutive 1+” snow depth streak at BNA was the longest since January 1978. The refreezing of melted snow kept sledding conditions ideal during much of this time. I’ll let the time lapses and highlights below take it from there…

2. Columbia Tornado (May 8, 2024) – While snow has a special place in my heart, the top meteorological moment of the year was my Columbia storm chase on May 8, during which I confronted the mesocyclone that produced a killer tornado just a mile from my location. Tracking on a whim, the tornado was the second I successfully intercepted. Unfortunately, 67 year-old, Cheryl Lovett lost her life when the tornado struck her home on Bear Creek Pike.

Spiritually speaking, 2024 came full circle for Caeden, who expressed a desire to be baptized in January before taking the plunge on September 29, 2024.

Church-wise, we continue to attend and serve at The Gate Church. As Communication Directors, Lys and I are eager to see what the new year brings with new pastoral care initiatives in motion.

Regarding our While We’re Waiting small group, Lys and I continue to ‘grassroot’ a local cohort. Since June, we’ve partnered with two on-air ministries, Christian Missionary Radio and 104.9 The Gospel, in sharing our heart behind the community. With a rejuvenated passion to reach bereaved parents, we hope to facilitate greater healing within our group so onsite and virtual ministry can coincide. No question, planting this tribe of God’s presence has been a breath of fresh air. 

In other news, Fry Freelance has expanded its wings again with new podcasting projects and two new books under construction. Even as AI invades more digital and entrepreneurial space, we hope to keep up with the times while staying true to our brand. Don’t be surprised if the His Girl Fryday website and name go under construction in 2025 after a 10,000 hit-year. As these endeavors fill in the lines, Lys and I are also hoping to mature our homeschooling rhythm in tandem with the wonderful people and curriculum of Arrows Academy. Since our January enrollment, they have provided a safe learning space for Caeden, Everly, and Milo. The three even got to be in their first school production when they were cast as spiders in Charlotte’s Web!

As for smiley Aili, well, she continues to amaze us with her growth and cunning. The epitome of rainbow baby, she’s been a mellow glue binding the family since her arrival last July. We celebrate not only her health and development but also her upbeat and centralizing energy.

Overall, while there were setbacks in 2024, they pale compared to the rebounding narratives we find ourselves in. After the third worst year of the century last year, 2024 wraps up as the best since 2016 and one of the best start-to-finish years since graduating college. Whether next year features another two steps forward, we know having been through the wringer in recent years how God works out all things for His glory and good. So it is with our prayers for you and your family that you endure and press forward in His name with hope and expectancy fully attached.

To you and yours, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

~ Cameron, Lyssah, Caeden, Every, Milo, Jubilee, and Aili Fry

Cover photo creds: NWS-Nashville

Halftime: Reflections on 2024 and the Road Ahead

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It’s a refreshingly cloudy afternoon in the dead of summer as I write this, the dog days along with the 8:00 pm CT sunsets knocking on the doorstep. In short time, a new school year will be dawning; the commutes will be longer. What better time to return to a tradition unlike any other? 

Halftime reflections, 2024 edition. Ready, set, let’s go!

A month post solstice, I’m riding on a relative high. Five months since the infamous dog attack, we Fry’s are starting to sense momentum for the first time in almost four years. In house, the freak accident from February still bears weight as a microcosm to the decade, though the impacts have since dissipated. No question, I’m [super] proud of my family for how we continue to hold for dear life (in all respects) and have rebounded in the wake of an additional hardship, the Juju effect in full swing. 🦋 Granted, the assists from Vanderbilt to Refuge Center have been needed, yet the moves we’ve made regarding therapy, counseling, litigation, even education are paying off. The end result is a victorious ‘ah ha’ on the heels of a down year we refuse to let haunt us, precedence be darned. 

At the Q2 turn, the premise of this year is as simple and it is straightforward: Slowly but surely, Lys and I are getting life and lives back on track, taking back some of what was stolen from us – the bitter dregs of ’23, a fading memory somewhere in the shadows and beyond the rear-view. As mentioned last December, last year’s second half was rough, dare I say historically so. To be honest, I still have questions I’m struggling to reconcile; however, this hasn’t kept 2024 from being the sweet eminence we hoped and prayed for last New Year’s Day. As we rise, we press on in new stride and gear, the smile rate at its most frequent since 2020 ironically enough. 

Apart from the home front, the contrast between this year and last is no greater felt than the 9-5. Confirmed by prophetic voices last November, the clean slate has proven not only to be what I needed but more importantly, what the Doctor ordered. Any time you can serve an organization that doubles down as a safe place where mission, community, and treating people as diverse in function, co-equal in value, are steady cornerstones, good great things are going to happen. For the first time in my career, I feel understood and appreciated across the board in an environment where there’s no unnecessary funk, toxicity, or division. Day by day, I’m learning more of what God has equipped me to do as those around me believe the best in each other without the agenda of boxing others up. As Gandalf told King Theoden, “Look upon your land…

…a scene I resonate all the more to these days.

Concerning church life, while there’s plenty of direction to be defined, we’re excited to be inching back into healthy rhythms again. Certainly, we’ve enjoyed seeing what God has done in different bodies the past year and building connections within those circles. Yet, having a default fellowship location, as many of us can attest, is a gift to behold.

As for ministry outside the church, our While We’re Waiting small group for bereaved parents has officially launched and is open to mothers and/or fathers coping with child loss. Last week, I shared on Missionary Radio about the nonprofit as well as the community plant Lys and I are seeding in middle Tennessee. Honestly, I haven’t been this stirred about a God-given assignment since the TDOT Essentials Bible Study in 2019. Though the demographic is niche, we’re all in on this call to partner with God in binding the brokenhearted and helping the mourning know how blessed they are. As Lys and I have experienced, apart from those with compensation expectations, there’s not enough people willing to navigate our darkest hours; hence, why we’re eager to champion this trail moving forward as we hope to not only reach more bereaved parents but help the church realize how essential nourishing the grieving heart is outside those staccato moments on Sunday morning. 

Of course, there’s more I could say at this point, especially in detailing the status of special projects Lys and I are working on; however, I’ll leave some space for the fall as well as the 2024 Year in Review post in five months. Admittingly, many of the family narratives this decade have been challenging, but I suppose this justifies the sharing of this update. As difficult as recent years have been, there’s wisdom in documenting the journey out from the valleys we find ourselves in. For me, putting words to progress is a means of worship and delighting in God’s sovereignty. While our creative outlets may vary, I encourage you to express gratitude in similar fashion, even if the primary inspiration is to realign and reset course.

In closing, I part with one of my favorite Bible chapter introductions, 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 (ESV). Between this Scripture and the podcast above, I’ll let them capture the ‘selah’ for today. 

God of All Comfort

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.”

Cover photo creds: Pinterest

The Endure Cure: A Word on Corporate Suffering

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On Monday, I had the privilege of leading devos at Mercy Multiplied’s weekly meeting. Here’s a cut from my share which includes a slice of recent testimony… #lordhavemercy 🦋

…Still, I wonder about those among us, even under our care who are suffering, in full on survival mode. How do we cope as we hope? How do we trust when internally we’re about to bust? How do we endure and suffer the way God intended?

Whatever the answers are, both at the 20,000-foot level and at the surface, the truth is: Suffering is part of our divine call, not just individually but corporately. Often, we take a head-down approach to perseverance. We sense a challenging situation and tackle it through our ‘more than conqueror’ identity. Granted, there is nothing wrong with that in a vacuum; however, the potential problems I see are at least two-fold:

1) In the day-to-day grind, we individualize and compartmentalize our endurance.
2) In the day-to-day chaos, we fail to consider the beauty in our suffering.

The premise of this devo is a charge for us to view perseverance as more than enduring with character but also embracing the beauty in suffering. Are we pausing each day to be still with God, to receive His grace and smiles in the personal and corporate challenges we’re walking in?

I’m reminded of a Point of Grace song from their All the World album. Does anyone remember ‘Heal the Wound’ co-written by Nicole Nordeman? Here is an excerpt from the song:

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don’t take pride in what I bring
But I’ll build an altar with the rubble that You’ve found me in
And every stone will sing of what You can redeem.

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart, take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar.

Don’t let me forget
Everything You’ve done for me
Don’t let me forget
The beauty in the suffering!

This song is music to the ears, inspiration to the heart, and emphasizes certain realities of Scripture.

  1. Jesus, the one we can boast in, has carried our greatest burden (Isaiah 53:3-5) and out of that, still helps us with our sorrows and burdens to this day. Accordingly, we don’t have to strive to ‘make it through’ or ‘get to the other side/the finish line’. We don’t have to carry the burden of making sense of our struggles (as I like to call them – “victories in progress”). Rather, we can lean on Jesus who felt the demands of ministry, who knows what it’s like to feel drained, yet with the joy set before Him, referenced the Father, the ultimate source of His power. Like Him, we’ve been given what we need for goodness and godliness but can still ask for wisdom, help, strength, grace, etc. as paupers in Spirit (Oswald Chambers).
  2. As co-sufferers in Christ (Romans 8:17), we can help others endure through suffering and share with them the comfort we’ve received from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-6) as we bear our own crosses (Matthew 16:24, 1 Peter 2:19-21, Romans 8:16-18). We may feel compromised on account of our weakness, but this can allow the Father’s heart to resonate in realness with people assuming our abiding in Christ is in rhythm.
  3. Difficult circumstances outside of our control can be prompts to remain vertically reliant, to seek first God and His Kingdom. Without adversity, we cannot live as tested, faithful, and dependent vessels. The beauty of suffering is that it gives us the opportunity to become like Jesus, to see our redemption as secure, and our victory as imminent even if the pathway doesn’t make sense, even if the breakthrough and miracles we crave don’t happen the way we anticipated.

Why are these points important? Because they confirm how God works! Specifically, the breakthrough we need, the challenges we endure in Jesus’ name, and the miracles we’re contending for aren’t limited to timely answered prayers (or even answered prayers at all). As Paul writes in his letters, finding freedom isn’t confined to what we get over but what we get through. Put another way, God doesn’t promise us we’ll get over everything, but He does promise we’ll get through anything.

For my wife, Lys, and I, we’ve learned and re-learned this truth many times during our 11-year marriage. Yet, by far, the greatest challenge for us came in August 2021 when our daughter, Jubilee, was diagnosed with intrauterine growth restriction four months ahead of her due date. While Lys and I did everything we could to stay healthy, the combination of Juju’s growth environment and Lys’ preeclampsia proved too much. Only 18 days post-diagnosis, our small Fry would make her worldly debut as a micro preemie coming in at 25 weeks, 10 inches, 1.2 pounds, chronic-lung disease, pulmonary hypertension, less than a <10% of living past day 1, and less than 5% of making it past the first week.

Thankfully, God had other plans and proved Himself mighty as we clung to hope at the end of our rope. While our prayers for Juju to survive the NICU and make it home did not materialize, as our hearts healed, we learned to see her miracle as the impact she made on the thousands of lives, including us, shattering medical expectations and probabilities along the way.

In hindsight, Lys and I know the miracle of Juju’s life would have still been clinched even if she hadn’t lived past the first day. For even as we contended with God in our pain and despair, He was faithful to enlarge our capacity to sense His sovereignty and the sweetness of His nearness, His tender hand holding ours.

Now, were we beyond angry and tempted to fold on certain days? Absolutely! I remember in the weeks following Juju’s death, wrestling intensely with God, asking Him why He would let her overcome her greatest afflictions only to succumb to a freak bout of sepsis. God, why wouldn’t you keep the miracle going having sustained it this long?

Having successfully stiff-armed the why’s (I.e. those subtle entitlements that tempt you to think you must have it all together or understand why you’re going through what you’re going through), throughout Juju’s life, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by them in the aftermath. The mental torment was off the charts and on the precipice of depression, I was in desperate need of a spark heading into the last quarter of 2022.

That spark would manifest as a dream right before Juju’s Celebration of Life. In the dream, I’m thrust back in time storybook style. A dusty road, a mass of people, and one Jesus walking in front of me. In a unique role reversal, I’m the woman with the bleeding problem trying to keep pace with Jesus yet unable to do so. Desperate to touch Jesus’ robe, I cry out: ‘Jesus, can you please slow down? I’m trying to get to you. If I can just touch a piece of your robe, I know you can heal Juju!’

Suddenly, I’m on my knees with a warm hand on my shoulder. I can’t make out the face in front of me, but I know such a presence could only be Jesus. As I ponder how He jettisoned a football field in a millisecond, I hear Him speak to me: “You were never meant to touch my robe. You were meant to believe in and follow me. Now, look behind you and see how many are following me because you kept going.”

I look back and see a new body of people who weren’t there before. Picking up steam, I turn my head back to where the voice came from only to wake up…with a fresh understanding of the miracle Jesus accomplished during Juju’s life and how it would continue.

As for us in this room, I share this testimony to remind us how God is faithful to give purpose to suffering and anoint our steps as we walk through adversity…with Him. Sometimes, it takes seasons of discomfort and/or dislodging for a worldview or perspective to reset. Sometimes, it takes a walk through fire for us to see how God can redeem fallenness and fallen spirits alike.

My final encouragement to you is to not view your weaknesses, your limitations, your incompleteness, as something to ‘get through’ or stitch together. Don’t stiff-upper lip and head-down the challenges in front of you, blindly trusting they’ll blow over. Rather persevere in hope…with character…and with your heads up. After all, how can we be still and know He is God if we’re not postured as such? Position yourself to see God’s goodness within the grander scheme unfolding. If you come face to face with what makes you feel uncomfortable, rejoice! If you confront a situation that makes you feel unsettled…rejoice! If you’re reminded of something in your past or hit the wall of your finiteness and feel incomplete…rejoice…knowing we were never created to be completed in this life anyway.

And so, take joy and heart together. Embrace childlikeness in the sense you don’t need to make sense of your circumstances to reference and follow Jesus. Despite what others may say, you can be earnest and eager simultaneously and find peace in times when the lights of life turn off. As long as you let your light shine before men and stiff-arm those why’s, you will reach a promised land with rebuilt temple walls…in the name and wake of Christ.

Those, my friends, are just a few of the many beauties in suffering the way God intended. Again, the why’s, the how to’s, the hurdles we clear may vary, but the nature of God in the presence of our distress is absolute and a foundation for us to walk confidently on.

Selah.

Cover graphic creds: Desiring God

Waiting on a Miracle: A Juju Journey Sneak Peak

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As I continue to work on Juju’s book, I wanted to share one of my new excerpts. Still making progress one piece at a time…

One of my favorite first quarter moments of Jubilee’s life came during her transfer from Centennial Women’s Hospital to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital. As 2022 dawned, hopes were high this move would help improve her health thanks to a more structured environment. After all, more screens, new equipment, and seasoned staff could only accelerate the healing.

Yet, for the rest of the family, we needed a spark as well. As they say, desperate times call for desperate measures and in seasons of chaos, you have to take what you can get, even if that special something is animated fiction. Hence, our corporate satisfaction when we watched the new Disney classic, Encanto, for the first time. As if God had orchestrated the timing just for us, the movie centers on a single word with a multitude of meanings, some good, some bittersweet. That word…

…was ‘miracle’.

Before Jubilee, if someone mentioned ‘miracle’ in conversation, Lyssah and I would have responded favorably upon knowing the context. Based on our belief, signs and miracles are still relevant today as authored by a sovereign God. While man often yearns for a miracle on specific terms, the purpose of any heaven meets earth miracle, even if delayed or unforeseen, is perfect. Sure, we may not understand the breadth and scope of the parameters, but I mean, isn’t that one of the fundamental conditions of any miracle in that it could look differently than what we expect? Shouldn’t a miracle be transcendent, mysterious, and challenge us to consider the benevolent hands of an almighty God? Or are we so jealous and zealous to assess the unexplainable with explicable rationale?

Frankly, the reason we sometimes fail to see God in our midst is because we haven’t cultivated the sensitivity required to sense His presence. Like the Sadducees and Jewish priests, we have in our minds a checklist of what must happen in our favor for God to be true to who He says He is. We think His love, goodness, any tangential trait is contingent upon us having proof of Him hearing us when the fact is God hears us through the cries of humble prayer. In other words, how we ask of God reveals what we believe of God. So, when we pray for a specific outcome in ‘miracle or bust’ fashion, we ultimately weaken the hope we crave by making it conditional. And for what? To feel in control? To have the assurance of being on the right path doing all that we can?

Having spent 393 days in the NICU, I can confirm the depths of desperation that flood those halls. What’s less certain is the integrity of their hope or as I like to say, the width of their anticipation. For Lyssah and I, we not only approached each day as if it was Juju’s last but considered the pathways of her life and the ways God could use each outcome. Were our prayers anchored in health and life in abundance? Of course! However, we also knew to pray what Jesus prayed in Gethsemane: Not my will but yours be done. So, while we were in unprecedented territory, striving to care for an afflicted daughter, we knew we could only see a sliver of God’s infinite perspective. This is why trusting God became more effortless the more we kept in a prayerful rhythm. Whenever we caught ourselves wanting God’s will to conform to our requests, we called on God in our weakness recognizing any display of spiritual discipline was for His glory and to His credit.

Back to Encanto. If you’ve seen the movie, you know the story of Mirabel, who in an enchanted home full of gifted family members, is the only ordinary member. Although she strives for her Abuela’s approval, she struggles to find acceptance based on receiving a gift from Casita, the family house and source of the magic. Accordingly, she grows up feeling inferior wondering why the magic passed her by. No question, her grief is no greater captured than in the song, ‘Waiting on a Miracle’. Take a look at these lyrics:

I can’t move the mountains
I can’t make the flowers bloom
I can’t take another night up in my room
Waiting on a miracle
I can’t heal what’s broken
Can’t control the morning rain or a hurricane
Can’t keep down the unspoken invisible pain
Always waiting on a miracle, a miracle
All I need is a change
All I need is a chance
All I know is I can’t stay on the side
Open your eyes, open your eyes, open your eyes
I would move the mountains
Make new trees and flowers grow
Someone please just let me know, where do I go?
I am waiting on a miracle, a miracle
I would heal what’s broken
Show this family something new
Who I am inside, so what can I do?
I’m sick of waiting on a miracle, so here I go
I am ready, come on, I’m ready
I’ve been patient, and steadfast, and steady
Bless me now as you blessed us all those years ago
When you gave us a miracle
Am I too late for a miracle?

You talk about a heart cry in anguish. Of all the Disney movies in which the protagonist confronts her despair, Encanto arguably takes the top spot.

Moments after this confession, a mystical danger emerges and threatens to eradicate the magic. That’s when Mirabel summons the courage to not only rise above her despair but also restore order and unite divided family members, reminding them the miracle is not the gift but the giftee as part of the overall family journey.

Why is this important? Because the movie confirms an aspect of how God works His wonder. Specifically, a miracle isn’t limited to answered prayer since a miracle is not about what we get over but what we get through. In His Word, God doesn’t promise us we’ll get over everything but He does promise we’ll get through anything. In our case with Jubilee, while our prayers for her to survive the NICU and make it home did not materialize, as our hearts healed, we learned to see her miracle as the impact she made on the thousands of lives, including us, shattering medical expectations and probabilities along the way.

Yet, even if she hadn’t survived past day one, the miracle of her life would have still been clinched. For even as we contended with God in our pain, He enlarged our capacity to sense the sweetness of His nearness, His tender hand holding ours. Were there some days we were beyond angry? Absolutely. There may have been a choice word or two. But in the end, we recognized God as the one who gives purpose, resets our perspective, and redeem fallenness and fallen spirits alike during moments, especially in seasons of grief.

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Even with Mirabel and Abuela reconciling at the end of Encanto, the question still remains for those who feel they lost a miracle with their child’s passing. Surely, I’m not alone when I say it’s easy to feel alone though the Bible speaks to the contrary.

For instance, I believe whole-heartedly in Isaiah 41:10 but struggled to believe it fully after Jubilee’s death.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

In my mind, the truth had become conditional, like an expired contract or coupon. At one point God was strengthening us, helping us, imparting the supernatural, but not anymore, or so I thought. With no more life to sustain, the upholding felt more like withholding. Deep down, I knew God was still God, but couldn’t connect the dots of a passage once absolute, now more theoretical. At some point, I had to accept my belief process as the primary problem, specifically in God’s upholding hand being a dependent variable.

In our case, God’s ability and capacity to keep Jubilee alive had become a middle wheel teetering on the edge of legalistic perspective. In desperation, we prayed without ceasing and never stopped believing in God’s wonder working power; however, there were some days we felt the fear of what would happen if we stopped. As such, our faith, incomplete as it was, sometimes served as a false catalyst, subconsciously greasing the true wheel of God’s sovereign hand. On days Jubilee was doing well, God had his foot more firmly on the gas petal. On days she was struggling, He may or may not have been waiting for us to press in and request some aspect of His nature to intervene.

Thankfully, the reality of Isaiah 41:10’s conclusion eventually found us to awaken alignment. For the upholdings of God are not subject to words and beliefs of man. By no means, is God in any way driven by our righteousness, given any earthly display is a direct reflection of the divine in the first place. When Isaiah says God will strengthen, help, and uphold you, he’s not suggesting these actions are chained to outcomes but rather the eternal, perpetual essence of His nature. If there is a joy to grab hold of within this verse, it’s the steadfastness of His hand in all situations. As Lys and I wrestle through our grief, we realized the tangibility of God’s constancy is just as much in the heartbreak of disappointment, if not more so, than its prelude. With the Beatitudes in mind, when hearts and heads are heavy-laden, that is when God’s upholdings are at their best so we can sense Jesus saying ‘Come to me’, so we can hear His call.

Does this sound like we’re alone? As if a fear of loneliness has a legitimate place?

I didn’t think so. In no realm are we truly alone, despite what the NICU may tempt us to believe. True, the hospital halls can seem like a secluded place where we feel fight our battles alone. But that’s when we must remember and believe God’s Word. As Point of Grace once sung, when it looks like you’ve lost it all and you haven’t got a prayer, Jesus will still be there. Hence, why we fight the good fight of faith and confess the goodness of God (1 Timothy 6:12) in all situations so those who lack hope will see a glimmer of it.

I suppose that’s one of the key silver linings in Juju’s life. As she fought against all odds, she compelled us to see God amidst the chaos and challenged us to appreciate the trials in real time. Just as light shines brighter in darkness, so does perspective sharpen during adversity. If I’m dealing with greater pain, whether physically, spiritually, or emotionally, so must I desire God to be greater. So must I crave His presence and peace as crooked roads are made straight. And the choice for us can be a net encouragement in perceiving NICU stress as a way to desire God the right way, a purifier of our thirst for ‘more’ of God.

Perhaps this is why I love the redemptive conclusion of Encanto. For starters, we shouldn’t want more of God’s magic to sustain the miracle of health. Rather, we should perceive the miracle as Trinitarian life, life that was, life that is, and life that will be. Trust me, I get how hard it is to accept this truth when our precious candles have burned out. Yet, as dear to our hearts our offspring may be, the miracle goes beyond the flesh and touches the divine in ways that daily inspire. Just as mothers carry the DNA of her children for the rest of her life, so too can we sustain the memory of God’s sustaining us in our darkest hours.

We carry on not because we want to be carried but because the carry is imminent. This is the paradigm shift any NICU parent must embrace when they inevitably question whether God will strengthen them in moments of weakness.

Selah.

Cover graphic creds: Disney Wiki

Grow ⬆️ Up: A Call for Us in 2024 (Part 1)

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After a disappointing 2023, I’ve been pondering pathways for maturation in recent weeks. Often, when we come off a down year, we take inventory of what went wrong and why; however, let’s be honest: How frequently do we integrate prayer and counsel into the pathways we set?

In my case, 2023 was a story of transition and survival, a season in which healing, stability, and community struggled to gain traction. On several occasions, Lys and I were compelled to question things that shouldn’t have happened, the silence we experienced from some of our social spheres atop the list.¹

To add insult to injury, life in last year’s office space wasn’t any better. Having arguably been moved to the wrong team to start the year, I found myself in an occupational Pandora’s Box, stuck on an island yet trapped within a cubical greenhouse – the air free for some but borderline toxic for others.² Consequently, I fell out of certain rhythms of health and behavior that in a typical year would have been evident.

Now, to be fair, a mulligan makes sense given how Lys and I were rung through the ringer in 2021 and 2022. Still, as one beat up from those years, I shouldn’t have matched any time I sensed an attitude shift or withdrawal, writing off some as casualties of what I couldn’t control. Oh, if I could go back, I would and hand on shoulder, remind that Cam to shun the numbness. I guess that’s why they say hindsight is a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.

Yet, despite these dissatisfactions, I’ve been hungry to convert brokenness into something good, something healthy, something authentic. After all, that’s the magic of a new year and why I’ve been stirred to fast regarding the year ahead. ‘Cause truth is: I don’t want to come anywhere near who and where I was last year. Perhaps some of you can relate having been pressed without precedence in recent years?

Either way, as I finalize this internal audit, I celebrate the changes being made but also understand receiving fresh grace and compassion can be arduous without a game-plan, especially without daily forgiveness and surrender.

Which brings me to why I’m writing this. During the past few days, a phrase has been activating in my spirit, like a banner of the heart being raised to the rafters. Chances are you’ve heard these words, albeit in negative connotations as standard for most. Unburying the lead, these words I present are not only a motto for the year but something we should all aspire to each day we live and breathe. 

What I’m saying is… 

As Matthew 5:48 says, “You’re kingdom [agents, ambassadors representing God’s ministry of reconciliation]. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” (MSG)

But Cam, how do we get there? How do we connect the dots between our ‘loved by God’ identity and the discouragement we feel chained to? 

First, you must return to the Father heart of God:

“I’m not writing all this as a neighborhood scold to shame you. I’m writing as a father to you, my children. I love you and want you to grow up well, not spoiled. There are a lot of people around who can’t wait to tell you what you’ve done wrong, but there aren’t many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up. It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God’s Message to you that I became your father. I’m not, you know, asking you to do anything I’m not already doing myself.” ~ 1 Corinthians 4:14-16 (MSG)

After marinating in the Father’s warmth, embrace His intent for you to discover His love and how it can help you redirect or mature in specific ways, each according to His likeness:

“God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love. ~ Ephesians 4:14-16 (MSG)

Next, detach (or distance yourself) from unhealthy people and situations weighing your faith down:

“Don’t tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape. They’re completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us.” ~ Colossians 2:18-19 (MSG)

Replace childlike impulses with childlike faith, innocence, even curiosity in the ways of the Spirit:

“So come on, let’s leave the preschool fingerpainting exercises on Christ and get on with the grand work of art. Grow up in Christ. The basic foundational truths are in place: turning your back on “salvation by self-help” and turning in trust toward God; baptismal instructions; laying on of hands; resurrection of the dead; eternal judgment. God helping us, we’ll stay true to all that. But there’s so much more. Let’s get on with it!” ~ Hebrews 6:1-3 (MSG)

Finally, clean house! Once you’ve repented of your shortcomings, renounced any agreements with the enemy, and prayed God’s highest to cover your soul hurts, declare thanksgiving to God, over your family, and for Him to anoint the stepping stones on which you’re called to walk.

“Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy, and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants…drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.” ~ 1 Peter 2:1-3 (MSG)

Final disclaimer: While this list is a mere guide and doesn’t represent all the steps you need to take to correct course, I encourage you to seek the Lord to discern how He wants you to facilitate the fireplaces of your hearts in 2024. Ask yourself: “What agreements and unholy packs need to be broken off? What dead weights do I need to cut ties with? What pursuits do I need to put on the backburner, at least for a short time? In what ways should I reprioritize my time, energy, and investments? In what ways do I need to make right with my neighbor? Is there any clear peace or lack thereof in any category of life? Do I sense any open doors or change in direction? If so, who is leading me? More importantly, what or who is the source of my fire? And if I’m not burning, what is getting in the way?

While the answers will vary, understand even in your weakness and weakest, He is strength and strongest. Somehow, someway, you will feel the sweet release of reset and recalibration; however, be advised you can’t get there without effort, intentionality, and reposturing.

During my next post, I will share some additional insight on how to level up at work with these paradigm filters applied. Until then, you got this! Go forth and go get ‘em…in Jesus’ name.

Selah.

Graphic creds: Vecteezy; sermon by Ian Gilchrist (preached at One Church Home on 1/7/24)

Footnotes

  1. Note: I can’t speak for everyone, but I imagine some of you who’ve lost a loved one can relate to the social leprosy incurred after-the-fact. More on this subject later, though in the meantime, dear church, as far as it be with you, please be the church unconditionally.
  2. Friends, if you taste rejection concerning who you’re called to be, what you bring to the table, etc., do not clap the dust off your sandals prematurely. Rather, stay consistent to team expectations, honor authorities and colleagues, and keep both hands on the plow until you’ve reached the finish line. Again, more on ideal exit strategy once full stock has been taken.