Disclaimer: After efforting repeatedly to tidy the tone, I admit there is lingering hurt in my processing here. While I’ve moved away from footnotes in recent posts, in this case, the one involved here is important to heed. At any rate, you have been advised. 🙂

Do you ever wonder why trusting God is so difficult?

Like the toddler equivalent of eating peas or the teenage version of understanding the real world?

If so, know that’s where I’m at as I write this: fatigued, confused, and struggling to find words after yet another WWE smackdown disguised as family dinner. A night that was supposed to be full of exhales, replaced by begrudged swallows and everyone thinking, ‘This sure isn’t fun. Why are we fighting again?’

Of course, dust settles fast in our household where 99.9% of nights end in bliss instead of remiss. But to deny the tabletop turbulence as nothing more than a blip on smooth sails would be soft-serving it.

‘Cause truth is, this true story metaphor is a microcosm of where the heart’s at, one searching for answers on the surface and the path to surrender deeper down.

So what’s up, you say.

In short, I’m discouraged. I’m discouraged by this divine burden and what it’s compelled me to see. Granted, I needed to see it. Heck, I needed to obey in the first place. Yet, as to what I’m seeing, I’m having a hard time understanding.

For instance, where I work, there are many ‘Christians’; rather, there are many church-goers, ‘Christians’, and Jesus followers…in that order. Plenty of religion, not enough fire. The divide is not surprising.

What is surprising is how so many on the same spiritual team can feel so far apart, content with cliques, status quos and quid pro quos. Seriously, am I the only one who wishes certain people would double-check their faith status in light of their attitudes/actions…or wishes he could be invited into where they’re at? Not to judge what lane people are in; I just want them to pick one¹.

Otherwise, we have nothing more than a bunch of superficial interaction: Sacrifice without surrender; change without conviction; belonging without healing; community without depth; reconciliation without forgiveness, etc, etc.

So I want to know, “Where’s the walk, people?”

If I had to guess, some of us are content absorbing truth, but not applying it. We think to ourselves, ‘I will take this liturgical inspiration with me’, but do we really care to follow through? Or are we scared about what would happen if we exercised any sort of confidence and/or consistency in full? God forbid we lose our comfort at the cost of something transformational.

Again, I get the challenge bridging sacred and secular in hostile working environments. I get there will be trials and tribulations standing for something bigger than yourself. What I don’t get is why centralization of faith has to be such an uphill battle…how you and I can hypothetically believe in the Romans Road, Golden Rule, and the Godhead…yet might as well be strangers…

…for years on end…

…and somehow be okay with that.

Whatever the case, I’m not going to stop believing colleagues in faith should come together at work. I’m not going to stop believing colleagues in faith should have everything in common. And I’m not going to stop believing colleagues in faith should model the nature of God in unconditional, non-selective fashion.

All I know is as long as I’m breathing, I not only long to point people to Jesus, but support them along their journey towards Him. Yes, the denied invitations, the excuses, the ‘inauthentic’ labels, and withdrawals…they can hurt if I’m not careful.

But the thing is…I’m not going to let them keep me down. After all…

…I have a dream…one that takes ‘being myself’ and extends it beyond myself where Sabbath is not confined, but a daily communal reality.

If that makes me crazy, I receive if it means I’m living what I’m called.

I just want you to do the same.

Selah.

Side note: It has occurred to me some may think Bible studies/marketplace ministry courses at work are unnecessary because we should already have what we need for goodness and godliness. But to me, this does not stand.

As Hebrews 10:24-25 (MSG, AMP) declares:

“Let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.”

“Let us consider [thoughtfully] how we may encourage one another to love and to do good deeds, not forsaking our meeting together [as believers for worship and instruction], as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more [faithfully] as you see the day [of Christ’s return] approaching.”

Footnotes

1. I’m not trying to sound all ‘better than’ or rant in mean-spirited ambition. I make mistakes each day and need Jesus like everyone else; however, I recognize the relationship between daily aligning to Christ and how this should manifest communally, especially among those like-minded in faith. Accordingly, it’s hard for me to understand why fellow believers would rather not come together when they know the option exists. Whatever the reasons are, I’m not afraid to confess my trust in God needs tweaking. If you’ve been bold enough to read this, I appreciate you taking the time.