Tag: truth

šŸ„— 4 Shortcuts to a Leaner Life šŸ’Ŗ

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For years, His Girl Fryday has been helping peopleĀ discover confidence within their influence from navigating challenges at work to managing ministry on the go.Ā 

Yet, whileĀ our content has historically centered on internal inventory, occasionally we like to spice things up and go against the grain1.Ā 

Thus, for today, I want to talk about some practical ways we can improve our eating/exercise habits having recently reached a major weight loss milestone.

NowĀ I admit…I’m not the savviest of nutritionists nor do I sport theĀ chisel-est ofĀ bods; however, what I do have is discipline, resolve, and the patience to see them through.

Accordingly, it is my hope these four dietary tidbits, while more conducive to long-term results, can better your family dynamic and pursuit of a leaning lifeā€¦

1. De-dairy your diet

When time turned 2014, my body was in rough shape2. Granted, I wasnā€™t obese or struggling with an eating disorder; however, with a weight only a pound or two off my all-time max (i.e. 207 lbs), the sluggishness was real.

Thankfully, after making a list of dietary resolutions, it wasn’t long before I realized what dietary changes I needed to make and in what order.Ā 

The first step? De-dairy my diet.

To do this, I narrowed the goal down to three phases:

  1. I replaced cow milk with almond milk ā€“ an unpopular move for my palate initially, but one I adjusted to3 after a month or so.
  2. I eliminated processed cheese from my diet ā€“ a minor correction, but a necessary one given my acid reflux history.Ā 
  3. I reduced my intake of frozen dairy ā€“ easily, the toughest out, but conquerable once I a) allowed it to be a novelty and b) embraced dairy-free ice creams like Halo Top.

At first, physical changes were subtle; however, the more I established this rhythm, the better I felt overall on a daily basis.

Nowadays, if I’m ever craving cereal, a burger, and/or ice cream…check out the built-in savings…

  • Honey Nut Cheerios (1.5 cups) with almond milk – 210 calories
  • Honey Nut CheeriosĀ (1.5 cups) with 2% milk – 255 calories
  • Difference: -30Ā 
  • Burger King Whopper with no cheese/mayo + steak sauce – 550 calories
  • Burger King Whopper with cheese and mayo – 770 calories
  • Difference: -220
  • Halo Top chocolate ice cream (1 pint) – 320 calories
  • Ben & Jerry’s chocolate ice cream (1 pint) – 1000 calories
  • Difference: -680

Yeah, yeah…I know these examples may seem insignificant, but trust me: as you’ll soon see, they add up well with time…

2. Bun Voyage

If reducing dairy was the footing, cutting carbs was the foundation. After an August 2014 biometric screening revealed high amounts of triglycerides in my system, I realized I had to cut carbs and after weighing (pun intended) my options, I determined the best place to start was to make every sandwich an ā€˜open faceā€™.

After all, the best part of a sandwich/burger is what lies in the middle. Why not cut out the redundancy?

At any rate, after three years later of de-breading/de-bunning my sandwiches/burgers ā€¦not to mention all the pizza crust thrown to my dogā€¦the results speak for themselves.

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3. Walk the Plank

If youā€™re like me in the sense you have strong cardio discipline (~ 3-4 workouts a week), you likely have some sense of what foods will help you exercise more effectively; however, while tracking protein and complex carbs is ideal for better workouts, if youā€™re losing weight, itā€™s important to define what you trim.

For instance, I do a 3-5 minute variety plank routine and/or 40+4 push-ups before each run. Certainly, not a ā€˜have toā€™ā€¦but highly encouraged if you want a short and sweet road to transition fat to muscle within your core.

As I like to think, if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, a plank a day can only further the distance5.

By the way, this is not how you plank…

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4. Select Fasting

No question, my biggest dietary weakness is caffeine. Itā€™s a drug for the day, a muse in the morningā€¦whether youā€™re talking iced tea/cold brew/bottled soda on a hot, summer day or a roasty expresso on a cold, midwinter morning, the temptation is often tough to pass up.

However, as I discovered in a recent week-long fast, taking a break from fluids not named water, while old-school, is arguably the best way to detox your system. In my case, when fasting, I like to replace coffee and soda with sparkling peach-flavored water and green tea. Of course, there are many more options to choose from. The key here is not so much the substitution as it is giving your system time to be shocked.Ā 

If liquid fasts aren’t your thing, consider fasting chips (or a similar salty guilty pleasure) one week, desserts another. Personally, I like capping my calories categorically (i.e. chips to 250, soda/dessert ā€“ 400 (on the few days I consume them), meals, in general, to 800), especially through liquid fasts since most of my empty calories come fluidly.

Another method you might try is ā€˜going greenā€™ where 75/80%+ of lunches/dinners have the color in the meal. In our house, with dinner, we aim for steamed veggies and/or salads as sides 4-5 times/week; with lunch, we’ll often replace meat with cucumbers and heartier toppings with kale or spinach on wraps/bowls. Even snacks, we’ll munch on carrots or multi-grain crackers with avocado, hummus, black bean spread if we need a tie over. Again, not ground-breaking, rocket science strategies as much as tactical frameworks we can eat between.

Ultimately, the key with select fasting is identifying Ā your weak points, targeting them as voids, and filling them in with healthier alternatives6.

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So there you have it. Not the most inventive guide to a fuller, fitter life, but a workable template if your goal is to gradually lower those pant sizes, circumferences, and cholesterol levels. I know for some of you, going the keto way (or something similar) probably sounds more enticing, but if you prefer simple short cuts with long-term potential, consider these suggestions.

As always, feel free to leave a comment below if you want to share any additional advice or testimony.

If not, know weā€™re cheering you on as you pursue a healthier, happier youā€¦

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Footnotes

  1. Foreshadowing alert
  2. Gaining ten pounds of stress weight leading up to my wedding day in April 2013 that I hadnā€™t fully recovered from
  3. One could say I started finding it utterly delicious šŸ˜‰
  4. My push-up count isnā€™t a set # as much as it is whatever my physical limit is for that day
  5. Speaking of distance, consider basing your cardio workouts on calories burned as opposed to miles. For me, I cut my runs off at 400 calories, unless I have more time/energy to burn.
  6. Specifically, ones that meet a nutritional need (i.e. vitamin ā€˜xā€™) as opposed to a habitual hankering
Cover photo creds:Ā Wallpaper Studio 10

 

Halftime: A Musing on Life in 2018

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Well, folks, the summer equinox is upon us and you know what that meansā€¦

ā€¦time for yet another enlightening installment of ā€˜halftime lessons learnedā€™ where the year goes under inspection, the heart under reflection, and fears under subjectionā€¦

ā€¦where inventory becomes short storyā€¦

ā€¦and hopes teetering on paralysis find rest in analysis.

Now, I admit: when probing a year, I prefer filtering my thoughts into bite-sized, applicable takeaways; however, this year, I canā€™t help but feel I must take a different approach given its narrative and the irony of potentially leaving truth between the lines.

After all, not all years are created equal, and as such, easily quantifiable.

But where to beginā€¦that is the question.

Obviously, life on the home front has changed significantly with Everly. Like Caeden, her joy has proved contagious in a year full of adjustments. Granted, with two under three and an adolescent pup, maturation compels naturally when a family grows for a third straight year.Ā Even so, this yearā€™s home-owning family of four has felt far more settled than last yearā€™s house-hunting family of three. Accordingly, all is well and better than ever for me and my house.

Of course, not all change has been hunky-dory; the lack of youth ministry, in particular, has proven especially difficult.

For starters, I didnā€™t realize until after-the-fact just how much Iā€™d assigned identity to role and pain to under the carpetĀ 1 2.Ā I suppose when youā€™re constantly pouring out and giving your all regardless of peripherals, itā€™s easy for that to become your reality. Unfortunately, the more you tolerate voids in this way, the more you think you can fill them loving on your own terms, as if the Golden Rule alone can grant purpose.

But as we know, thatā€™s not how begetting life works3. Ultimately, if we desire a pure walk with God based in intimacy over responsibility, we must confront the interferenceā€¦

ā€¦which brings me to where Iā€™m at todayā€¦

ā€¦where if thereā€™s any desperation, itā€™s for my sense of place and passion to be free from seeking re-orientation in ego4, specifically what should have been.

As the Lord has been convicting me in recent weeks, the world is searching for sacred love…is aching for eternity (as perpetual presence)…and yearning for believers to identify with Jesus. And while itā€™s easy to emphasize advancement and progress, there are seasons when we must return to awe, re-embrace the basics of our faith, and allow the gnosis5 of ā€˜we are not what we doā€™ to seep below the neckline6.

For when we allow God to reset, restart,Ā and refresh both course and inner man, our strength is renewed to release not only what we lack, but what hasnā€™t worked7.

Think of it this way: whenever you crave wonder to extinguish discouragement, remember what truly lasts. Yes, seasons come and go. And yes, there will be times when you feel what should be happening isnā€™t happening.

But glory to God life is so much richer than our temporary inconveniencesā€¦that even in the midst of whatā€™s not working or happening, he uses those voids to remind us who we areā€¦and how much we need him.

And while the roadmap will surely vary from person to personā€¦

ā€¦like a river to be crossed, we will get there.

As for the rest of 2018, thereā€™s so much I could say, from our new family freelancing business to returning to school to finish my meteorology degreeĀ (see vid below for backstory); however, given much is still developing, Iā€™ll hold off until December before lending a detailed update/recap.

ā€˜Til then, enjoy halftime.

Selah.

Footnotes

  1. In the name of endurance.
  2. Not to mention those pesky what ifā€™sā€¦like what if I had allowed myself to be poured into more consistently? What if I had recognized ā€˜xā€™ insecurity sooner? What if I had applied this personal/program correction at ā€˜xā€™ point? Etc, etcā€¦
  3. Eternal esurance slogan?
  4. Notably in temporary measures like success, relationship, and comparisons
  5. Head knowledge
  6. Heart knowledge (i.e. epignosis); in case you need to know where Iā€™m at, there you go
  7. Or isnā€™t working

Photo creds:Ā Fine Art America

3 Ways to Level ā†‘ Your Teamwork

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Have you everĀ struggled withĀ groupĀ participationĀ or felt more productive working independently?

Perhaps youā€™re aĀ team player at heart, but feelĀ taxed, even lost,Ā whenĀ collaboratingĀ in a jointĀ setting.

If so, I want toĀ encourage you:Ā a) you’re not alone andĀ b) dare toĀ rethink what you know about teamwork.

ForĀ whileĀ corporateĀ successĀ oftenĀ hinges on team dynamic (i.e.Ā how aĀ groupĀ behaves andĀ performs in pursuing aĀ particular goal),Ā such cooperation is only possible when each member knows the purpose and direction of their role.

Thus, in the next few posts,Ā I want to discuss howĀ we, as students and employees,Ā can build teamwork through better team dynamic starting with theseĀ three points…

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1) ClarifyĀ Expectations

It’s been said groupĀ morale is aĀ fragile art – a sacred science based onĀ strength integration,Ā maintaining transparency, and trust management.

Yet, of all the bonds that bind, arguably none is more cohesive to team dynamic thanĀ clarifying expectations.

To quote Ron Edmondson…

“to feel a part of the team, people need to know where the team is goingĀ andĀ what their role is. An understanding of the overall goals and objectives fuels energy. When the big picture objective is understood each team member is more willing to pull together to accomplish the mission because they know the ‘why’ and can better understand where they fit on the team.”

In other words, to achieve positive outcomes, each role must be clearly definedĀ in a way direction, unity, and purpose are mutually inclusive. Of course, none of this can happen withoutĀ accountability, authenticity, and strategy/tactics (as we’ll later discuss); however, as long as expectations are effectively communicated top-to-bottom, the foundation to success is, at least, secured.

Bottom line: The more people perceive core value and expectations1 through vision, the moreĀ team dynamic will strengthen.

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2) Donā€™t Just Direct People, Develop Them

As mentioned in my ā€˜effective influencerā€™ post, strong teams form when people are valued over goals and success is celebrated corporately as well as individually.

Unfortunately, not all work cultures are created equal where motivation is shared, let alone contagious. The question is…

How do we inspire unity among our teams regardless of setting, situation, or position?

For starters, we must be willing to connect role to direction and expectation to vision. In my case, having worked in various financial and ministerial arenas, Iā€™ve found the best unity occurs in environments where each member understands their role and how it directly impacts the success of the organization.

Granted, easier said than done for the sanitation engineer and mail deliverer; still, if strong team dynamics are applied, even these employees can be directed to know the companyā€™s core values2 and developed to take ownership of their responsibility.

Ultimately, if team members are empowered to see their skin in the game, camaraderie will flourish in the sense each person is directed, developed, and driven to see his/her work as more than a means to an end.

Bottom line: Intentional leaders not only give their team intentional purpose, but help their teams understand mission while embracing vision.

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3) Get Out of the Office

A great ministry leader once said…

ā€œDonā€™t get so busy doing the work of the Lord that you donā€™t spend time with the Lord of the work.ā€

Interestingly, while this truth pertains to spiritual intimacy, the same concept can be applied in collaboration and networking. After all, if project management and people management are best undivided, then the quality of our communication should extend beyond performance into its surrounding context.

For example, as a former LAMPO spouse, sports editor, and youth pastor, no question, the best ā€œsilo-bustingā€ moments occurred during retreats, corporate team-building activities, and family outings. In each scenario, not only were tensions lessened, but a sense of esprit de corpsĀ developed carrying over into seasons of challenge and discomfort.

Moreover, to the extent creativity and oasis conversations abounded, to that extent priorities were pruned in the wake of internal and external inventory. Ultimately, as awareness within community increased, so did morale and enthusiasm by proxy.

Bottom line: 1) Teamwork is just as much attitude as it is practice. 2) If you want better teamwork, know the context of your teamā€™s performance given team dynamic is influenced just as much outside work as at work.

Selah.

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Looking ahead, I want to talk about how we, as spouses and household heads, can abide by the same teaming principles outside our careers and inside our homes.

In the meantime, be at peace as you better people to better your teams to better your business.

As always, Lys & I are rooting for you.

Hereā€™s to the journeyā€¦

~ Cameron

Footnotes

  1. Even compensation
  2. Tip: consider creating a team charter)

Cover photo creds:Ā Australian Institute of Business

The Naked Truth: Why Church Needs a Sex Talk

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Since its inception,Ā His Girl FrydayĀ has served as a resource helping bivocational/ marketplace leaders mature their influence…and while our mission has always been to bridge sacred and secular, when it comes to absolute truth, ultimately weā€™re just as passionate outside our niche as within it.

Thus, as we tackle a hot topic in sexuality, understand this message has not only been internally simmering for years (having been ignited during last weekā€™s Messenger Fellowship summit), but also represents one of my deepest pastoral regrets having rarely addressed it1 during my youth ministry tenure. Of course, much could be said in a testimonial setting; for now, letā€™s focus on how sexuality has been and should be addressed to effectively equip the emerging generation.

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When it comes to modern day sexuality, no question we live in a unique time caught up in the crossfire of change. On one hand, we have church and culture experiencing seismic shifts in how intimacy and its abuse are perceived. On the other, we have integrity and cross-generational tension in how the Word is interpreted and behaviorally appliedĀ².

Yet, while the divide may seem like a slippery slope, how we close the gap is worth discussion given we all struggle (or have struggled) with sexual identity, temptation, compromise, or at the very least, our identity in Christ.

Take my case for example…

As a child of the ā€™90ā€™s, I grew up in a time when intimacy was seen as forbidden fruit. Not only was sex not talked about outside ā€˜the birds and the beesā€™, but hardly anyone wanted to…apart from a few exceptions.

I remember during one 8th grade chapel, my school brought in a young Christian couple to share their “love story”, a PG-13 account of why they waited. Unfortunately, while their testimony captured the wonder of affection, it failed to connect sex to Scripture leaving many peers in a wake of armor-less intrigue.

A few months later, I invited a friend to summer camp during which the last guest speaker defined purity as avoiding promiscuity.Ā But again, like the married couple, though the message conveyed the mystique of sex, the big picture only grew more convoluted, especially for those like me who had become skilled in evading Cosmopolitan without knowing why.

Enter the day my sophomore year when I discovered Victoria Secret in my parentā€™s mailbox.

Yes, I had learned not to go looking for lust; however, I hadnā€™t learned what to do when lust came looking for me. Factor in a freshman year marred by peer rejection and bullying and suddenly those scantily clad women were more than just temptingā€¦they were void-filling.

And so began a decadal stretch where self-gratification and fantasy lust not only became on-and-off defaults to loneliness and self-loathing, but self-seeking manifests in romantic relationships3 (more on this in a future post). Thankfully, after years of denial and compromise, the Spirit would meet me in a point of surrender and reset my course.

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But by then, the damage had been done. Despite the fact I was a new creation relearning grace, forgiveness, and perseverance in the midst of shame, insecurity, and depression, the weight of deferred awareness -what could have been had I just trashed the lingerie clippings instead of stashing them ten years earlier – bore heavily on my mind.

Not to mention all the ā€˜what ifā€™sā€™ā€¦

ā€¦like what if someone had taught me the wrongs of self-gratification?

…what if someone had taught me the boundaries of intimacy in dating relationships?

ā€¦what if I had a mentor who connected taking thoughts captive to pornographic temptation?

ā€¦what if the message of sexuality in my youth had involved discovering Godā€™s intent as opposed to guilting people from living outside it?

Maybe then we wouldnā€™t be having this conversation.

But the reality is we areā€¦because I believe God not only wants to reshape and ā€˜de-greyā€™ the way we teach sex, but purge our family lines of where itā€™s been abused.Ā  Like me, you may have wrestled with a checkered past, but this doesnā€™t mean God canā€™t use your fearless voice to stir implicit trust in places of explicit exposure.

The question is: are we willing to be entirely honest and sensitive when we need to?

For as long as sex is minimally approached and swept under the rug, we set our children up to learn the hard way; however, if we truly desire our youth to see sex through the fear of the Lord/their identity in Christ, if we truly long for them to be content in their singleness, and to understand the positives of purity, the rewards of repentance, and the repercussions of sexual sin4, only then will we set a foundation on which they can stand firm.

ā€˜Til then, I submit the church refreshens her approach on teaching intimacy. To paraphrase John Piper…

…the problem with the churchā€™s guide to sex education isnā€™t her instruction on walking in light, but her negligence in modeling a hatred of darkness.

As a result, youth are growing up aware sex has a time and place, like fire in a fireplace, but are far less aware of what to do when the chimney starts to crack or when the fire breaches the home. At some point, we must be willing to convey the fire of intimacy not only through the fatherheart of God, but in eager fashion as people unashamed of the Gospel and our testimony (Romans 1:15-16 AMP). Perhaps then will todayā€™s young people know how to ā€˜houseā€™ their sexuality where the fireplace was designed to be.

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As for me, all I know is far too long Iā€™ve been on my knees crying for help, but now that help has comeā€¦and in its wakeā€¦my heart yearns to see future generations know the warning signs that flare in the night and proceed against greed in light of the stronger, holy fire burning within5.

In closing, I encourage you, my friends, letā€™s be unified in advancing a more vulnerable talk on sex while praying generational healing into the roots of our family trees. After all, as great as the struggle or freedom weā€™re walking in, how much more glorious the triumph when we embrace the legacy of Godā€™s highest?

Selah.

Footnotes

  1. Granted, the effort was made multiple times; at least we got this far…
  2. Hence, why sexuality is such a challenging subject given its taboo label and sandpapery effect on identity/ego/security
  3. Specifically, the lie of ā€˜as long as itā€™s not intercourse, itā€™s okayā€™
  4. Including the various forms of pornography and self-gratification
  5. Yes, I have DC Talkā€™s ā€˜The Hardwayā€™ in my head now; again, Iā€™m a child of the ā€˜90ā€™s šŸ˜‰

Cover photo creds: Pond5, Called to be Free

Integrating Ministry & Marketplace: The Temple Template

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The vocational life is hard work.

Early mornings, long days, rough nightsā€¦if you wear many hats and juggle multiple responsibilities…you know the drill.

Yet, as tempting survival/ā€˜just get ‘er doneā€™ mode may be,Ā truth is: we were never meant to live this way.

Yes, strategic compartmentalization can center the gravity of focus and break busy days into doable, bite-sized moments; however,Ā when we consider our identity as effective influencers in light of Jesus’ ministry, Ā we ultimately find…

a) Work (what we commit our hands and minds to) and faith (what we commit our beliefs to) were never meant to be mutually exclusive.

b) The marketplace can be just as much a hub of powerful, life-changing ministry as the church1.

TakeĀ Matthew 21:12-17Ā for instanceā€¦

After Jesus kicks off the triumphal entry (v. 1-11), note the first place he targets (i.e. the temple – v. 12) and the reason why (i.e. to cleanse it).

I donā€™t know about you, but when I consider the fact Jesus deliberately went to the temple to make its original intent known as opposed to simply stopping for a cup of coffee and the ā€˜Daily Jerusalemā€™ā€¦that speaks to me.

Granted, Jesus channels his inner Adele for time, turning tables and all (v. 12b), but the key here isnā€™t so much Jesus reacting in frustration as much as Jesus setting things right, being fearlessly intentional in speaking truth and breathing life into what had become a lifeless environment.

So while this passage reference may seem random, when we talk about what pastoral ministry in the marketplace looks like and how to rightfully use our spiritual gifts in similar arenas, I believe thereā€™s important application to be found.

First off, to be an effective marketplace minister, we must be courageous and purposeful with the truth. Yes, we can be highly skilled with the gifts God has given us; yes, we can be articulate, persuasive, and emit confidence, but if what weā€™re divinely given is utilized with limited integrity, itā€™s like trying to build a sturdy structure on quicksand.

Secondly, when we consider what grieved Jesus most, we deduce how wise marketplace leaders understand the time and place to deal with financial affairs as they understand the providence of God (i.e. the difference between a love for money and a love for God who provides the money2 ;more on this inĀ future posts).

And finally, when weĀ consider Jesus straight up calls the temple ā€œmy houseā€ (v. 13 – ā€œMy house will be called a house of prayerā€¦ā€), we find theĀ a) confirmation of marketplace as an extension of sanctuary and b) value in declaring Godā€™s original design over an establishment intended for our good.

In this case, Jesus calls the temple a ā€œhouse of prayerā€ not only to reveal the truth of its purpose3 (i.e. a place of dwelling, influence, and vertical communication), but to setĀ the stage for the spiritually/physically impaired to better know that purpose (v. 14).

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Hence, it should be no surprise to see a completely transformed temple by the time Jesus peaces out in v. 17.

Bottom line: when we reflect on how Jesus integrated his ministry and spiritual gifts into the marketplace, we seeā€¦

  1. Jesus was intentional (in going to the temple courts)ā€¦
  2. Jesus was bold with the truth and how he handled conflictā€¦
  3. Jesus lived out the identity he declared over the templeā€¦
  4. Jesus loved at every opportunityā€¦

Thus, I submit if weā€™re going to thrive in employing our spiritual gifts in our areas of business, we must be willing to live on purpose, be bold with the truth, pray without ceasing, be the change we long forā€¦and most importantlyā€¦love at all cost, at all times.

Next time, Iā€™ll look to build upon this foundation with more specifics, more real-life application, but for now, if any of this hits home with you (or if you want to add a point to the list above), feel free to comment below. And as always, if you have a prayer request/praise report, youā€™re more than welcome to drop us a line.

ā€˜Til then, may you find peace and joy in abundance as you go about your weekā€¦

~ Cameron

Footnotes

  1. Sure, the church may be the heart of the operation, but whatā€™s to say the marketplace canā€™t be the hands and feet?
  2. Seriouslyā€¦how often are good leaders corrupted by sneaky, under-the-table, ā€˜will do anything to get an advantageā€™ maneuvers? More than weā€™d like to admit, right?
  3. As well as His authority

Photo creds: gospelmovements.org (edited by Cameron Fry) & lds.net