Revenge

Written 1/20/15; revised 9/8/24

Recently, during a discussion with a local pastor, the following question came up: How would you explain God’s anger and jealousy to a junior higher?

A fair inquiry since teaching these attributes of God’s character can feel like threading a needle at times. Fortunately, there are practical truths and illustrations ministers can use to teach these qualities.

For instance, before tackling God’s wrath and jealousy head on, we must define love and God’s identity as love (1 John 4:8). Once this relationship has been established, a young person will understand not only their ‘loved-and-valued-by-God’ identity, but also how love and wrath are not emotions as much as they are choices!

This in mind, we can…

Emphasize the fact when God gets angry, He gets angry for us, not at us!
Associate free will and eternal separation to God’s respect for human freedom.
Explain anger and jealousy in the context of being the objects of God’s love.

Once the difference between the “self-ed” individual and the “loved” person has been specified, we can start to cover related topics such as…

The connection between freedom and relationships
The connection between freedom and God’s authority
How God’s authority is another word for His love
The danger of independence
The insanity of sin
The importance of the cross
How there can be no love without justice since justice validates love

Furthermore, if we’re to successfully educate students on this subject, we must contract the wrath of God versus the wrath of man.

While man’s wrath is emotional and indefensible, God’s wrath is holy and justifiable.
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Often times, when the hearts of men harden, we demand justice as a response to offense; however, when God’s heart hardens, He desires offense to be righted as an overflow of His original design being known. Accordingly, it could be said that within His wrath, He wants us to be free from His wrath!

For those who give glory and honor to ‘other gods’, the Bible says He feels a divine jealousy for them (2 Corinthians 11:2). What is this exactly? For starters, let’s consider the rest of 2 Corinthians 11 and how it breaks down. In summary,

All glory and honor belong to God and God alone.
Although man’s jealousy is often sinful as a function of entitlement, God’s jealousy is upright since it centers on communion with His beloved.

In conclusion, addressing the theme of God’s wrath, especially with students, requires precision and order. In this age, many family and academic structures are broken and lack empathy. As pastors, we must understand enemy ploys as any stake where love and wrath are separated and twisted with the tapestry of performance, reciprocity, and tolerance. While the task may be difficult, the freedom we can facilitate is worth the undertaking.

Biblical example: Exodus 11 (Moses & the burning bush – when God says, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I?”

Real-life example: A God who is rightfully angry can be compared to an athletic coach who is leading an underachieving team loaded with potential. A good coach doesn’t get angry at the players for losing the game. Rather he is jealous for them because he knows they are better than the outcome – that their talent level is better than what’s being realized. He doesn’t give up on his players, but instead pushes them harder and keeps working with them on an individual/team basis.

Cover graphic creds: Peakpx

Here’s a riddle for you: What’s something everyone has, the evidence of having stood up for something…yet also a byproduct of brokenness?

Give up? The answer…

…our enemies.

You know those people who curse you yet you’re supposed to bless…who hate you yet you’re supposed to love…

In many ways, we love to hate our enemies…to exact sweet revenge without the calories. But what if I told you while revenge is sweet, forgiveness is sweeter? What if I told you while enemies hurt, not loving them hurts even more?

Whatever the case, wherever you find yourself, if you want to better love your enemies, here are three truths to remember…

1. Understand who they are

When it comes to our enemies, it’s easy to hide behind the labels we place on them. Seriously, how many of you at one point had a sinking relationship you wanted to write off? Like mileage on taxes…or interest on a mortgage?

Granted, enemies come in many forms and yield to subjective definitions; still, if you’re like me, then chances are you know what it’s like standing on the mast of a shipwrecked relationship capsized by offense and insecurity. Perhaps now you’re drinking the bitter dregs of an expired friendship, a partner turned rival, or a severed family tie.

If so, I want to offer some hope: You don’t have to see your broken relationships as enemies!

But Cam, how is this even possible?

To be honest, I can’t say entirely. All I know is when it comes to better loving our enemies, the best place to start is choosing to see them how God sees them.

Now I know this is a sticky, tricky subject for some so with that, I want to tread this topic carefully. At the same time, I want to emphasize the importance of perceiving enemies as broken yet redeemable brothers and sisters in Christ.

‘Cause truth is…

When we contend for reconciliation, we ultimately redirect ‘enemy’ off a person’s identity and onto the principalities in between.

Therefore, if you want to better love your enemies, the first step is to accept the fact who you think they are isn’t who they are…and instead reframe ‘enemy’ as lovable people who you’ve hurt, who’ve hurt you, who’ve cut you out, who’ve accused or slandered you, etc.

Bottom line: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this [present] darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) places.” Ephesians 6:12 (AMP)

2. Consider your ways

Now that we’ve framed who our enemies are, we can better discuss how to bridge our divides with them.

But before we dive in, let’s get one thing straight: Not all reconciliation stories are going to have happy endings. After all, when the lock is on the other side, obviously you’re not going to be able to unlock it.

That said, there’s no reason why you can’t knock at least once. The question is: How do we knock the right way at the right time?

For starters, it’s best to filter misunderstandings through vain imaginations before dashing to the doorstep. Ask yourself what is being assumed, what is the reason behind my suspicion, what signals and vibes am I giving off? Give yourself permission to self-examine.

Then after careful consideration, begin to rejoice and repent…

Ask the Lord to illuminate outstanding resentments, bitterness, and grudges.
Release to Him the burden of having to be the one to make things right.
Request of God a removal of fear, a prescription of peace, a path to follow, and a heart of humility.
Pray into what needs to be said and how it’s to be communicated.
Thank the Lord for all He’s done and what He’s going to do.

Remember these steps don’t entitle you to action, but rather position you to better know how to bridge the gap once given the green light. From there, it’s all downhill (i.e. embracing courage, walking in grace; see next point).

Bottom line: Before rushing to resolution, “humble yourselves…under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.” ~ 1 Peter 5:6 (ESV)

3. Make love known

For this point, we’re going to assume you have the peace to confront; or as I like to say, make love known (not an agenda).

While intentionally loving your enemies can be intimidating, it can be all the more freeing when we recognize what is starts with:

- Love starts with courage. No question, loving in broken environments requires boldness; however, to be bold, we must choose courage from the onset. Accordingly, if you have faith in the source of love (i.e. God) and its message (i.e. the kingdom of God), then you have access with confidence and without hindrance into the places they’re needed the most (see Acts 28:31, Ephesians 3:12). Keep in mind you have what it takes so don’t be discouraged if it takes everything you’ve got.

- Love continues by faith. If your decision to love is motivated by results, then newsflash: It’s not love since love is not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:5). For if genuine love is to continue by faith, then you must die to your desire for favorable outcomes and progress. That way, when your effort is refuted or ignored, your desire to ‘try again’ will be renewed and you won’t take the rejection personally.

- Love advances with an invitation. When we boil it down, loving your enemies is God’s ministry of reconciliation in motion (see 2 Corinthians 5:11-21). Still, how we reconcile is worth discussion since if we’re to be “out of our mind”, when must do so in way that tells our adversaries “it is for you” (2 Corinthians 5:13). Hence, why love starts with courage, continues by faith, but advances through invitations where encouragement can be expressed.

In my experiences with adversaries/frenemies, I’ve learned the best way to mend fences is to be sensitive to what they’re experiencing and processing. As the past has taught me, if I can offer hope in the moment, chances are I can further extend it through invitations to connect later on. Even if it’s just a short e-mail or text, the impact of those ‘little’ things can only help establish reconciliation.

Bottom line: Regardless of how you make love known, know the same Christ who is in you is in your midst working on your behalf. Remember there’s no need to fear when you have nothing to lose.

“Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life. Because of this decision we don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don’t look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he’s already a friend with you.” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:14-21 (MSG)