When you think back on 2019, what immediately comes to mind?
CF: There are three answers to this question: The first and most obvious is Milo. His arrival into the world, no question, was the highlight of the year. The second and not as obvious is the phrase, “finished strong“. Granted, this was part of my 2017 answer, but it’s arguably been more applicable this year. Last but not least is the phrase, “hope realized“. As my next post will attest, I can’t recall a year where I felt so spiritually buoyant amidst great uncertainty.
LF: On the surface, one would think everything that happened this year involved situations I’d already experienced. But under the surface, everything that could wrong did go wrong, be it pregnancy, work, ministry, etc. That’s just how the year feels at first glance. Glass-half full, I’d say everything that could be different was different in 2019. The need for grace and deeper trust has rarely been so high from what I can recall.
What were some of the highlights/defining moments?
CF: Apart from Milo, I’d say our anniversary/missions trip to France, starting a TDOT Bible study, getting ordained with Messenger Fellowship, and the transition to Foundation Group round up the top four. Come to think of it, it’s crazy how my former employer fits into half these spots, but this only testifies to God’s brilliant and timely plan. Also, while this fall featured one of the more turbulent stretches we’ve known, the way we came out of it…I’d say was defining for our family as a whole.
LF: France, definitely. Losing two clients due to their need for in-house support. A very challenging pregnancy that impacted every area of life. Frankly, there were many defining moments this year, but most of them were taxing, testing, or both. Quite the opposite from last year.
How would you compare this year of marriage to years prior?
CF: From the onset, I sensed a leap not only in my understanding of intimacy but my appreciation of the little things. Call it a serendipitous surge, I feel 2019 has been our best start-to-finish year from what we were able to grow and persevere through. Obviously, as a newly crowned family of five, quality time and discussion are limited so expectations have to adjust. But this is offset knowing we’re pouring more into our co-workers, clients, and the kids under our care.
LF: This year had some of its sweetest moments for sure, some hard, some adventurous. Really a little bit of everything. All in all, the more life has put on us, the more refreshing the teaming has been despite its twists and turns. Blows my mind we’re almost to seven years already!
What lesson from 2019 are you eager to apply in 2020?
CF: God not only gives us everything we need for goodness and godliness but faith and fearlessness. As I used to tell LEGACYouth, when you abide in Christ, the way to ‘yes’ becomes clear even if the way out isn’t. This is especially true in the midst of great pain or confusion. We may be blindsided by disappointment, but trusting God books our next appointment.
Also, this is more awareness than lesson, but 2019 really exposed the fact I’d rather serve God than be close to Him. My halftime reflection piece unpacks some of this further…
LF: Resting in my weakness and learning not to strive. I had to learn these lessons the hard way this year, but I’m excited to build off them next year. I guess anytime you find yourself wanting to acknowledge weakness in a ‘You got this, God, I don’t‘ sort of way, good things will happen. One more reason to be flex and flow when things don’t go how you want them to go.
What has surprised you the most?
CF: In few words, the setting of adversity. While it’s no surprise the year had its ups and downs, the places we found support and the places we didn’t were far and away the biggest shock to me. We’ll see how much shaking we experience as a family in 2020. For now, it’s nice to know the two places I spend the most time are places I love to be.
LF: In general, I agree. Perhaps not to that extent, but I see where you’re coming from. I’d also add there were many answered prayers this year, but it’s hard to classify them as surprises when all is said and done.
What do you hope you’ll be saying at this time next year?
CF: “Hello, Davidson county!“, “You have questions about the Charleston Principles? Yes, I can help with that!“, “Welcome, Cameron and Lyssah. We’ve been expecting you.” Continue reading →
Core concept 1: God has qualified us to communicate the Gospel as Kingdom influencers; however, to walk in this competency, we must receive hearts of flesh in place of hearts of stone.
It’s no secret the world bombards us with the idea success is an identity we achieve through ability. If we want to get something, we got to first become something; if we want to reach ‘x’ status, we must set an ‘x’ goal; to reach an ‘x’ goal, we must get there by ‘x’ effort, etc.
However…
For example, you may have a counselor’s heart, but doubt its validity since you’re not a licensed counselor. The world would say until you receive the proper credentialing, you’re not a counselor. But to God, you are a counselor because that’s what He’s made you to be. Of course, you may have much to learn and have to wait a few years until certification. But this doesn’t mean you’re not who God has called you to be.
You see, the world wants you to think it’s all about the process…that what you hope to be can only be accomplished through how you get there. But think about it: In order for there to be a ‘how’, there has to be a ‘what’ and for there to be a ‘what’, there has to be a ‘who’, right?
The question is: Who do we believe when it comes to who we are?
While the outcomes are many, by allowing God to be the answer, we can know the sweet reality that not only is our salvation secure for those who believe (Romans 10:9-10), but our purpose, our destiny, and our future as well.
Accordingly, growth and improvement should not be seen as functions of development, but of yielding. After all, what you hope you are, you already are because your identity is not a matter of be-coming and self-refining (heart of stone thinking), but be-lieving and aligning (heart of flesh thinking).
This in mind, if what you seek to experience has already been prepared, why not enter into God’s best with a ‘yes’ than effort with a sigh? Why not accept His ‘realized new’ than take a chance missing it all for the sake of going your own way?
Core concept 2: To receive a heart of flesh is to believe God always sees the ‘finished you’. Accepting this sets us up to experience radical life in the Spirit…to be transformed through the Spirit’s inner power.
Consider this illustration from my dad/Gate senior pastor, Steve Fry (8:46-11:30)…
As created (or in this case, painted)…
…there’s amazing freedom to be found when we accept our future as known and pre-determined rather than unknown and self-determined.
Understandably, this can be challenging to accept since we often seek to control our destiny through achievement and effort. We think as long as we work hard and ask God for the right things, they’ll be given to us and to a certain extent, this is true; however, if making requests to God and modeling faith through excellence are detached from alignment, are we not craving what He can give versus valuing what He creates?
If so, dare to view present and future struggle through David’s Psalm 51:10-12 heart-cry, where he asks not only for a clean heart, but a new one! (more on this in a sec)
As Paul emphasizes in 2 Corinthians, we’re not changed into a new creation, we are made as a new creation. We aren’t born again through accrued improvements; we’re born again through the Spirit’s transformative power which enables us to become what God has and continues to declare. As for us, all we have to do is align to God by His Spirit and walk His appointed paths through daily tuning and reliance. In a sense, that is life in the Spirit – an ongoing presence meets power, abiding meets trusting reality with God.
Think of this way: If the Good News is ‘Jesus is alive and has set you free‘, then by extension, you don’t have to earn your freedom because your efforts aren’t the keys to your life. Instead, you can relish in your freedom knowing you don’t create it by self-effort, but discover it being present with God.
Core concept 3: Believing God sees the ‘finished you’ allows you to embrace helplessness and surrender your veils.
When Paul mentions ‘veil’ five times in 2 Corinthians 3:12-18, it’s easy to assume he’s talking about revealed glory; however, when we consider v. 17 and its modern-day application, we find Paul is doing, at least, three things:
He’s linking Christ’s finished work on the Cross to our finished person (to see freedom through the lens of the New Covenant is to accept both Cross and weakness as the plan for our transformation).
He’s charging the church to fearlessly turn to the Lord.
He’s cautioning the body against obedience through self-effort.
Concerning point #3, it’s worth noting even when we do the right thing, if the act is rooted in fear, our hard hearts will remain since trust is self-reliant. That’s why the flip-side is so radical. To do the right thing by trusting God is to allow God’s tender heart to tenderize your own. This is evident when we turn to Jesus in moments of dependence, desperation, and/or negative thinking. When you turn to Jesus, you’re essentially abandoning fear of conviction and exposure for the sake of discovering new levels of His nature, character, and glory. It’s the ultimate ‘His fullness exceeds my voids‘ proclamation…an acceptance of God and His desire for us to know His heart out of abundance, not fear.
As mentioned in Core Concept #2…
God doesn’t want to change your heart; He wants to give you a new one! He doesn’t want to improve you; He wants to take out your heart of stone and put in a brand, new heart of flesh.
Yes, God is able to fully restore health (Jeremiah 30:17), relationships (2 Corinthians 13:9-11), fortune (Job 42:10), strength (Isaiah 40:29), and the joy of our salvation (Psalm 51:12), but with our hearts, our inhabitable being, He never stops wanting to go deeper; hence why God implants new hearts in His people so the larger dimensions can contain the future ‘more’ He’ll inevitably reveal.
As for our response, remember we don’t believe the right things so we can experience the cool buzz of God’s presence. We contend for them so the glory of Lord can fill our spaces…work, church, living, family/friends, etc. God desires His created to be free from performance and fear-based systems of thinking; however, we can’t tap into this desire if we try to effort our way there. Instead, we must yield our way to His way. That’s the hope of glory meeting the Good News as modeled in our own life!
Final Thoughts:
Stop trying to be a Christian and turn to Jesus regardless of how you feel
Accept God’s acceptance of yourself
Pain is real, but irrelevant when you consider we are his workmanship created not only for good works, but for fullness from our finished future. Side note: Combining Colossians 2:10 and Ephesians 2:4-10 is super fun!)
(see graphic below)
…from your effort, self-reliance, systems of performance, and the deepest of emotional hurts.
Stay tuned next time for ‘part two’ when I’ll discuss how this theology works in the marketplace. ‘Til then, praise the One with the key not only to your heart, but your future as well.
Sooo…I wasn’t initially going to write anything on this, but after cutting a pod earlier this week, I’m calling an audible.
‘Cause truth is: I’m surprised how much a feel good movie in ‘Isn’t It Romantic’ has me feeling, well, not that good.
While the film, in itself, is charming full of laugh out loud moments and clever wit, to say the film lacks irony would be an understatement.
*Spoiler alert*
For instance, when contrasting real life to rom coms, our protagonist is clear she hates happy endings since they hinge on plot convenience more than anything else.
The funny thing: This is exactly what ‘Isn’t It Romantic’ does on the issue of self-love which begs the question…
Does self-love actually exist?
To be fair, the answer can’t be addressed in a vacuum since real love can’t be compartmentalized. That said, while secular voices can only go so far in their quest not to offend, one must wonder if we, as a culture, are synonymizing love and esteem as much as we are love and tolerance.
This in mind, I want to tackle the question by un-blurring the lines between self-love/love and self-esteem/esteem. As for love versus tolerance, don’t worry. I’ll come back and do a ‘part 2’ once the right movie comes along.
Before we define any contrasts, let’s define some terms.
First, what is love?
For starters, the most central answer can be found in 1 Corinthians 13:
“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not [a]love [for others growing out of God’s love for me], then I have become only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal [just an annoying distraction]. 2 And if I have the gift of prophecy [and speak a new message from God to the people], and understand all mysteries, and [possess] all knowledge; and if I have all [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love [reaching out to others], I am nothing. 3 If I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body [b]to be burned, but do not have love, it does me no good at all.
4 Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. 5 It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. 6 It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. 7 Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].
8 Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. But as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for the gift of special knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part [for our knowledge is fragmentary and incomplete]. 10 But when that which is complete and perfect comes, that which is incomplete and partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now [in this time of imperfection] we see in a mirror dimly [a blurred reflection, a riddle, an enigma], but then [when the time of perfection comes we will see reality] face to face. Now I know in part [just in fragments], but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known [by God]. 13 And now there remain: faith [abiding trust in God and His promises], hope [confident expectation of eternal salvation], love [unselfish love for others growing out of God’s love for me], these three [the choicest graces]; but the greatest of these is love.”
Granted, most are familiar with this passage; however, what’s often missed is the reason why we struggle grasping it.
Hey, tell me haven’t ya heard? Love is a serious word. Hey, I think it’s time ya learned. I don’t care what you say. I don’t care care what ya heard. The word love, love is a verb.
…and while we’re at it, let’s hit the bridge as well…
Back in the day there was a man who stepped out of Heaven and he walked the land. He delivered to the people an eternal choice with a heart full of love and the truth in His voice. Gave up His life so that we may live. How much more love could the Son of God give? Here is the example that we oughta be matchin’ ‘cause love is a word that requires some action.
Yeah, yeah…I’m starting this exegesis with the most popular ‘love Scripture’ and one of the most iconic 90’s Christian rap songs ever. Nevertheless, the content is 100% certified truth; specifically, love isn’t love without action…without a transitive nature.
Speaking of which, allow me to get nerdy for just a second…
In math, the transitive property is expressed as the successive members of a sequence of at least three, where if A is larger than B, and B is larger than C, then A is larger than C. Interestingly, from a theological perspective, this confirms the existence of the Trinity (more on this in a future post).
In this case, let’s use the metaphor to compare us to ‘B’ with the people we love as ‘C’. If ‘B’ (love median) and ‘C’ (love recipient) are given, then who represents A?
In fewer words, God (i.e. love giver). But the big picture point is this: The reason love exists is because there has always been a giver and receiver for all of eternity. Thus, whenever we talk about self-love, it’s only fair to reference the concept as intransitive since the act is not only internal, but immobile.
But Cam…Matthew 22:39 says, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself”. Certainly, self-love isn’t a bad thing?
And to that, I’d have to agree…wait for it…in a vacuum. But as mentioned, we can’t address this topic in a vacuum so let’s zoom out further and ask another question…
Is the self-love culture conveys the same as what Scripture describes?
‘Cause when we reference the Word, we find love, in every use, to be a direct response to receiving love. For example, before we can confess God as love (1 John 4:8), we must first believe the preceding verse: “Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”
Therefore, the difference between self-love (culture) and loving yourself (Scripture) is one is contained and the other can’t be. One is restricted, the other depicted. One is incomplete, the other complete. One is achieved, the other received. One looks to preserve, the other looks to subserve. I could go on.
For now, let’s discuss esteem.
As Webster defines, esteem is a regard involving an admiration, adulation, and/or appreciation of another. A derivative of gratitude, esteem molds an ‘I respect you’ statement into an ‘I value you’ declaration.
Unfortunately, most learn esteem as self-esteem, taking that ‘I value you’ and reforming it into ‘I value me’. Again, this is appropriate in moderation; however, we must be careful not to abuse the practice as how we love. Reason being: like self-love/love, for self-esteem to exist, there must first be esteem and for esteem to exist, not only must there be a giving entity, but authentic community surrounding it. Put another way, the necessity of esteem isn’t rooted in feeling valuable, but in sharing praise.
“Through Him, therefore, let us at all times offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, which is the fruit of lips that thankfully acknowledge and confess and glorify His name.” (AMP)
“All the earth will [bow down to] worship You [in submissive wonder], And will sing praises to You; they will praise Your name in song.”(AMP)
…for praise to have any purpose, it must be expressed as unrequited adoration. For if the affirmation of self is what focuses our esteem, then what we think is love is pride in disguise…or as I like to say, a vehicle for validation.
And it’s here where self-esteem goes off the rail for many people. Yes, self-esteem has a place, but can we say it has purpose when it’s narcissistically misappropriated? For example, we see in entertainment, politics, even health, the cultural message of self-esteem being a barometer to success and worth. Ironically, the same voices are also surprised when such pathways are met by insecurity, stress, and burnout. Keep going, they say. Don’t give up, they say.
Of course, Christ in us, we see how this is done the right way. In context, we tie esteem to love through the nature of God which then allows us to see anxiety as the bypassing of holy residence to feel significant. Sadly, for most, self-esteem is and will forever be detached from its Creator, leading many to strive for desirability through skillsets, passions, even status. How sad is it that many discover strengths without wondering or questioning how they got there in the first place? No wonder so many struggle with voids given they’re pursuing meaning without reason!
But getting back to the movie…
After our protagonist’s comatose catharsis, she finally comes to the pay off: While love is not a fairytale, it doesn’t mean you can’t love yourself. True, the happy ending might not exist, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. As long as you’re not depending on others for acceptance, you can love yourself to determine your destiny…and at least come close to a happy ever after.
Now…*cracks knuckles*…I have much to say to this moral discount morale boost.
But being I’m already near 1300 words, I’ll be short. The problem I have with this movie (and others like it) is how it conveys love as being stronger when it’s independent.
While I agree that our sense of value should be detached from what others think, if we’re constantly generating love out of self-preservation (i.e. an egotistic approach to void filling), there’s no way we can sustain love in any capacity.
Essentially, the movie’s tagline fits the “moral” of the story.
To love yourself, complete yourself. Don’t possess your emotions, numb them! To feel esteem, don’t rely on others to affirm it, provide it for yourself. Don’t just be indifferent to what others think, but be different to what others do. That way you can love you without the sensitivity to others’ needs getting in the way. After all, love isn’t given; it’s a personal choice.
*Sighs* *Sarcasm subsides*
I guess what I’m trying to say is…
The reason we love is because it has always existed.
The reason love has always existed not only points to the existence of God, but to the reality of a Godhead.
By this, we can accept the truth that though we were made for love, we weren’t made to ignite and sustain it by ourselves¹. Accordingly, as the object of love and not the subject, let’s be careful with any cultural messaging suggesting the contrary. In the same way we create because we’ve been created and design because we’ve been designed, we love because we were and are forever loved.
Again, God didn’t generate us; rather He formed and fashioned us uniquely with delicate precision before the beginning of time (see Isaiah 44:24, Isaiah 49:15, Psalm 71:6, Jeremiah 1:5, Galatians 1:15). And while we can’t possibly fathom the eternity of such love, we can accept its presence as constant sovereignty living and breathing outside ourselves.
How sweet is it to know we can experience the Gospel as the greatest romance in history:
We love because we were first loved and we love because it was first given.
Finally, we can answer our original question, ‘Does self-love exist?’
In short, outside of God, loving anyone or anything is impossible. Sure, we can admire, cherish, and enjoy the people in our path and the companies we keep. But if ‘our way’ is more important than any other, we can’t possibly know the origin and intricate delicacies that make love what it is. This doesn’t mean a lost concept of love and/or esteem can’t be based in self; it just means if what’s good for us is the gravity, the epicenter of perception and paradigm, the idea of crazy, crave-able love is a mirage via the transitive property.
If a) God is love, but b) God isn’t a part of our love, then c) is what we think is love really love at all?
Okay…enough preaching already; time for one last thought…
Next time you’re discouraged about a situation with no happy ending in sight, remember…
You’re not alone…
You’re not your own…
Because of a + b, you don’t have to express how you feel to know your love is real.
Discrimination. It’s crazy how crippling it can be.
One second you’re without a care in the world, the next you’re face-to-face with fear confirmed – a vain anxiety now a realized struggle. Perhaps you’ve wondered how to deal with price and prejudices outside your control, at work, political arenas or even in church. If so, permit me to share some guidance on ways we can overcome, specifically when we’re on the clock.
For while discrimination can happen anytime, anywhere, it’s often in the melting pots of life we find our faith and character challenged to the point of maturation.
With this in mind, let’s dive in…
1. Accept the Little Kid Within
This may seem like an odd place to start, but here me out. When we consider the context of Matthew 18 where Jesus is previewing the local church, note his response to the opening question in v. 1:
“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (v. 3-4, ESV)
Essentially, Jesus is saying the key to living the Kingdom is Christ’s bottom line for community: become like children. Our intent may be good, our efforts may be efficient, but if our attitude isn’t one of childlike awe and innocence, our walk with God will become misdirected. You see, the disciples at this point were thinking like the world. They didn’t see the ‘greatest’ as a humble kid free of value judgments, offense, manipulation, and selective disclosure. Rather, they saw the ‘greatest’ like anyone else – through the lens of power, success, money, and reputation. So you can imagine the confusion the disciples must have felt when Jesus responded in contrast:
“Unless you repent [that is, change your inner self—your old way of thinking, live changed lives] and become like children [trusting, humble, and forgiving], you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.“ (AMP)
Again, Jesus is not only foreshadowing a key community goal, but emphasizing the Kingdom definition of success as how we treat people. If we’re to impact a culture in which everyone is loved, we should be motivated to walk in honesty, to honor and serve one another as opposed to offend or condemn.
Unfortunately, in a fallen world, there are many who tolerate the contrary (i.e. unbelief, negativity, bitterness, shame, withdrawal, etc.) and it’s here we must calibrate our expectations. Whether one is a child in flesh, emotion, or in spirit, our call is to receive in love while leaning on God’s understanding. In this way, whatever hate lies within can be appropriated to the right place (i.e. the sin and principalities involved).
Bottom line: If we’re to justly deal with discrimination, we must accept the child within. Even if the other side is lost, feeling insignificant, or behaving like an enemy, by giving agape love (i.e. love that works it out) and forgiveness a chance, we preserve the peace-making, bridge-building strategies of God.
2. Stay the Little Kid Within
I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m caught in nostalgia, I can’t help but notice how fast it comes and goes. Like a child in awe, the wonder is deep, the impression is evident, but the moment is often fleeting. The question is: If we’re to become like children, how do we stay like children?
The answer in one word? Consistency.
As John points out in 1 John 21, what we lack as literal kids we learn through maturation and conforming to God’s will in purpose, thought, and action; however, in order to experience this, we must daily aim to discover God by habitually keeping focus on what allows us to yield to Him.
Consider the habitual/customary relationship in v. 3-5 and v. 9-11:
“And this is how we know [daily, by experience] that we have come to know Him [to be more deeply acquainted with Him]: if we habitually keep [focused on His precepts and obey] His commandments. Whoever says, “I have come to know Him,” but does not habitually keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth [of the divine word] is not in him. But whoever habitually keeps His word and obeys His precepts [and treasures His message in its entirety], in him the love of God has truly been perfected [it is completed and has reached maturity]. By this we know [for certain] that we are in Him. The one who says he is in the Light and yet habitually hates (works against) his brother [in Christ] is in the darkness until now. The one who loves and unselfishly seeks the best for his [believing] brother lives in the Light, and in him there is no occasion for stumbling or offense [he does not hurt the cause of Christ or lead others to sin]. But the one who habitually hates (works against) his brother is in [spiritual] darkness and is walking in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.” (AMP)
While this passage may seem repetitious, I love what John is doing here. A master of audience, John knew his readers were not only professing Christians, but believers who valued custom as worship and fellowship with Christ as habitually abiding2. Accordingly, John emphasizes a reality view centered on daily partnership through obedience knowing these ‘little children’ (v. 1) would see the call as something more than surrender, but life itself!
As for us, if we’re to understand consistency in the face of discrimination and in the context of abiding like children, we must embrace Christ as our daily interceding advocate. For it’s when we reference Christ as our champion that we center the Cross in our minds treasuring truth in community. After all, if we’re to be like Jesus, we must be in him, rooted in and knit to Him as the promise keeper He is:
“As for you, the anointing [the special gift, the preparation] which you received from Him remains [permanently] in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you. But just as His anointing teaches you [giving you insight through the presence of the Holy Spirit] about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as His anointing has taught you, you must remain in Him [being rooted in Him, knit to Him].” (v.27, AMP)
Bottom line: Regardless if we’re dealing with discrimination at work, our default response should know no offense. Yet, in order to lack offense, we must first choose consistent fellowship with Christ, trust His unfolding purposes in others, and allow His love to perfect as we habitually seek His highest. This is how we stay the little kid within.
3. See the Little Kid Within
As a parlay from the points above, I’ll keep this short and sweet. If our aim is to trust God in childlike faith and ‘Abba Father’ reliance, we must also aim to see the same potential in others. Granted, easier said than done as the presence of God is the only power that can mature a child-like…anything.
But as a body pursuing the best of God, we must also believe the best of Him even if it hasn’t happened yet. And what better place to practice this than with our comrades at work?
In my experience, I’ve found one of the most basic yet transformational attitudes is imagining lost people found. To consider what they may be like, the changes in demeanor, behavior, communication, work ethic, character, etc. Seriously, wouldn’t it be wild if more believers entered into this type of rest? What palpable peace we’d sense substituting the disappointments of what we can’t change with a belief in who can. What anxiety we’d release imagining change in others as change going to happen, not could happen. Embracing this perspective, would we not see the little kid within, even if they were treating us poorly?
Perhaps not at first; however, given a child doesn’t discriminate or manipulate3, one must wonder if offense would pale in the light of safe honesty4. True, as adults, we may not think like children, but we can certainly be more open to grace when we take no offense like them.
Bottom line: As little children, believe in what you’ve been given for others. Dare to apply the ‘Hope may have it, but faith will have it’ mentality to how you view and treat your colleagues, subordinates, and superiors at work.
Remember…
1) Don’t just think positive thoughts in a vacuum, but extend them to those who persecute and condemn you.
2) Christ in you…
Selah.
Footnotes
Interestingly, I stumbled upon this passage by researching the word ‘consistency’ which led to this as the sole result.
In His teachings
Depends on age, but in this case we’re talking children young enough to not know how to cunningly exploit
So much to say, so much to do…how can either happen when there’s so much to think.
Yet, as we journey another January, the heart behind this series, as made known last year, is still the same:
If we want to think right, then we must get right, if we want to get right, then we must get real…and if we want to get real, we must value cleanse before change.
Not to suggest such internal inventory is easy. Certainly putting all things on the table for examination requires courage, humility, vulnerability…among other things; however, since my goal with these posts is to help us embrace God’s ‘next’, it only makes sense to pray into the substitutions¹ God has for us.
That said, here are three things I’m owning as we turn the page to 2019…
1) Making sense of my surroundings
It’s remarkable the ways we justify our surroundings. I know for me, whenever I find myself in what I can’t explain, living in the moment can almost seem secondary to knowing why it has to exist. ‘If only I can solve the mystery, perhaps then I can find the satisfaction and peace I crave,’ I sometimes think.
But as we know, the journey of life is far from cut and dry. As much as we want to reconcile all our relationships and circumstances, we’ll never be able to given sin and free will’s response to it among other things.
Granted, God’s sovereignty isn’t confined by man’s weakness. But it’s also not restricted by our ability to ‘sherlock’ the past. And it’s this temptation I believe trips many of us up. We long to feel affirmed when we’re down. We yearn to feel validated when we smell injustice. We burn to make sense of our surroundings when they don’t make sense. Yet, in our quest to solve our voids, little do we realize the size of our ego and the numbing effect it has on our attitudes and heart postures.
It’s not always fun to accept, but the way I see it: Often the reason we are where we are is because God wants to help us find our kneel…to show us where our independencies have become idolatries…and to learn reliance within the unforced rhythms of grace. Perhaps you’ve struggled to grasp this feeling in seasons of idleness or stress…in settings where you felt more like a fish in an aquatic Pandora’s box.
If so, take a bite of my 2018 testimony. Our free will exists so we can choose Jesus to find freedom. No 12-step program full of striving. Just a simple decision to resist the fear of man and the impulse to make sense of our surroundings.
Accordingly, if you sense the temptation but not the exit, yield to surrender, voice the heartcry, and receive the serenity of stilled waters. God has not abandoned you, so don’t you abandon ship.
2) The Nazareth complex
I suppose this could be a subset of point #1, but the nature of this conviction alone is worth emphasizing.
As alluded to in my 2018 Year in Review post, when last year started, going back to The Gate was far from an option. Having phased out of LEGACYouth weeks prior, my hope had clung to a sunset narrative where my last days of youth ministry would coincide with where it took place. While there were many reasons I emotionally did not want to return, the core of my withdrawal² centered on what I call the Nazareth complex.
The Nazareth complex is based out of Luke 4:14-30 when Jesus is driven out of his hometown (i.e. Nazareth) after revealing his true identity at the synagogue. While obviously I’m no Jesus, the personal correlation was this: Among whom whose eyes I had been under for years, there was no way for me to be known as God knew me. As such, what Nazareth was to Jesus, The Gate/local church was to me. To move on with my life, I had to leave the church to find anyone who not only would listen, but see me sans past and last name.
Of course, it’s safe to say Jesus never employed such a self-absorbed attitude. Still, it’s not hard to see why my deception took months to dissipate with resentment rooted in deception and victimization fixed in misapplied Scripture. To justify my isolated ego, I had to constantly cite the past, church gossip, unsurrendered soul/spirit hurts…even assumed vain assumptions (sounds confusing, but that’s unholy fear for you).
Yet, as the story goes, I eventually woke up, realizing if I truly wanted to move on and take hold of the new, I couldn’t keep holding on the way I had been. Six months later, the exchange is still ongoing…however, the door to freedom is much wider, in large part, to having repented of this complex.
3) Financial fitness
For many couples, one spouse is the buyer, the other is the saver. In my relationship with Lyssah, the contrast is evident. While I’m a buyer who lives well within his means, Lys is much better at budgeting and sticking to it.
Ironically, you would never know by where our financial anxieties lie. As co-bread winners, to make ends meet, we both must work…whatever the cost with whatever time we can give. Unfortunately, the drive for excellence doesn’t always extinguish the entitlements and justifiers we use to buy (or even save for) momentary contentment/peace.
I know for me, I can only afford to invest so much as I near the end of paying off student loans. The white lie, then, is if I can’t currently invest as much as I want for my family, I should be frugal in my giving and employ generosity through alternative means. Yet, as I’ve been convicted, often my lack of giving ties to a lack of trust manifest as leverage against God for not opening certain doors. And I think for some of us, we forget withdrawing doesn’t just apply to our presence and/or banking transactions. It’s applies to trusting God with our finances…our energy…our time…not just what to sow, but where to sow and how much.
All that said, if you feel financial weak starting 2019, you’re not alone. Yeah, I’m an ex-Ramsey spouse. I have content, lessons, and principles I can pass down to future generations. But I also know…
If I’m not maturing my stewardship, those values can only go so far.
If’ I’m not maturing my stewardship, my intentionality in inviting God into my budget will be compromised.
As for 2019, no longer will I reduce God to an on-call financial counselor and over-rely on my wife’s strengths to make up the difference. Rather, I’m going to pursue financial fitness, embrace frugality under the context of stewardship, and flex into shape accordingly.
Think of it this way: Even though money isn’t the end-all, be-all of extending God’s providence, in no way should we want God’s faithfulness to be restricted by what we’re not trusting Him in.
Besides if you’re reading this, chances are you have enough and know God as more than enough. Not do you have what it takes…but you can do this. Why not do it together?
Selah.
Footnotes
Where I’m letting go of a stronghold, sin, negative thought pattern, etc. to replace it with something better
3) Financial fitness
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