It’s a refreshingly cloudy afternoon in the dead of summer as I write this, the dog days along with the 8:00 pm CT sunsets knocking on the doorstep. In short time, a new school year will be dawning; the commutes will be longer. What better time to return to a tradition unlike any other?
A month post solstice, I’m riding on a relative high. Five months since the infamous dog attack, we Fry’s are starting to sense momentum for the first time in almost four years. In house, the freak accident from February still bears weight as a microcosm to the decade, though the impacts have since dissipated. No question, I’m [super] proud of my family for how we continue to hold for dear life (in all respects) and have rebounded in the wake of an additional hardship, the Juju effect in full swing. đŠ Granted, the assists from Vanderbilt to Refuge Center have been needed, yet the moves we’ve made regarding therapy, counseling, litigation, even education are paying off. The end result is a victorious ‘ah ha’ on the heels of a down year we refuse to let haunt us, precedence be darned.Â
At the Q2 turn, the premise of this year is as simple and it is straightforward:Â Slowly but surely, Lys and I are getting life and lives back on track, taking back some of what was stolen from us – the bitter dregs of ’23, a fading memory somewhere in the shadows and beyond the rear-view. As mentioned last December, last year’s second half was rough, dare I say historically so. To be honest, I still have questions I’m struggling to reconcile; however, this hasn’t kept 2024 from being the sweet eminence we hoped and prayed for last New Year’s Day. As we rise, we press on in new stride and gear, the smile rate at its most frequent since 2020 ironically enough.Â
Apart from the home front, the contrast between this year and last is no greater felt than the 9-5. Confirmed by prophetic voices last November, the clean slate has proven not only to be what I needed but more importantly, what the Doctor ordered. Any time you can serve an organization that doubles down as a safe place where mission, community, and treating people as diverse in function, co-equal in value, are steady cornerstones, good great things are going to happen. For the first time in my career, I feel understood and appreciated across the board in an environment where there’s no unnecessary funk, toxicity, or division. Day by day, I’m learning more of what God has equipped me to do as those around me believe the best in each other without the agenda of boxing others up. As Gandalf told King Theoden, “Look upon your land…
…a scene I resonate all the more to these days.
Concerning church life, while there’s plenty of direction to be defined, we’re excited to be inching back into healthy rhythms again. Certainly, we’ve enjoyed seeing what God has done in different bodies the past year and building connections within those circles. Yet, having a default fellowship location, as many of us can attest, is a gift to behold.
As for ministry outside the church, our While We’re Waiting small group for bereaved parents has officially launched and is open to mothers and/or fathers coping with child loss. Last week, I shared on Missionary Radio about the nonprofit as well as the community plant Lys and I are seeding in middle Tennessee. Honestly, I haven’t been this stirred about a God-given assignment since the TDOT Essentials Bible Study in 2019. Though the demographic is niche, we’re all in on this call to partner with God in binding the brokenhearted and helping the mourning know how blessed they are. As Lys and I have experienced, apart from those with compensation expectations, there’s not enough people willing to navigate our darkest hours; hence, why we’re eager to champion this trail moving forward as we hope to not only reach more bereaved parents but help the church realize how essential nourishing the grieving heart is outside those staccato moments on Sunday morning.Â
Of course, there’s more I could say at this point, especially in detailing the status of special projects Lys and I are working on; however, I’ll leave some space for the fall as well as the 2024 Year in Review post in five months. Admittingly, many of the family narratives this decade have been challenging, but I suppose this justifies the sharing of this update. As difficult as recent years have been, there’s wisdom in documenting the journey out from the valleys we find ourselves in. For me, putting words to progress is a means of worship and delighting in God’s sovereignty. While our creative outlets may vary, I encourage you to express gratitude in similar fashion, even if the primary inspiration is to realign and reset course.
In closing, I part with one of my favorite Bible chapter introductions, 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 (ESV). Between this Scripture and the podcast above, I’ll let them capture the ‘selah’ for today.Â
God of All Comfort
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.
For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.”
âRejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness[d] be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand.â (ESV)
d â or gentleness (NIV) or graciousness (HCSB) or considerate (NLT)
âCelebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that youâre on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!â (MSG)
âRejoice in the Lord always [delight, take pleasure in Him]; again I will say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit [your graciousness, unselfishness, mercy, tolerance, and patience] be known to all people. The Lord is near. â (AMP)
âRejoice in the Lord always: again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your [b]forbearance be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.â (ASV)
Other mentions of forbearanceâŠ
â “O Lord, you know; remember me and visit me, and take vengeance for me on my persecutors. In your forbearance take me not away; know that for your sake I bear reproach.” ~ Jeremiah 15:15
â “Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?” ~ Romans 2:4
â “Whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins.” ~ Romans 3:25
â “Where your fathers tried Me by testing [My forbearance and tolerance], And saw My works for forty years [And found I stood their test].” ~ Hebrews 3:9
â “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another.” ~ Colossians 3:12â13 1
Observations:
1. Forbearance, a word generally found in the King James Version, has two meanings: One is to delay repayment of a debt and the second is an attribute of God’s nature, specifically holding back rightful judgment in favor of patience, mercy, and kindness.
2. Forbearance’s short-term benefit is repentance and its long-term benefit is freedom.
âOr do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, not realizing that Godâs kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?â (Romans 2:4, KJV).
In this instance, Paul is warning us not to confuse a delay in discipline/judgment as disinterest or a lack of grace. Instead, Paul is emphasizing the fact we should forbear to judge others given God is constantly forbearing in judging the world.
3. Forbearance is a versatile quality God highly esteems. In fact, several of its facets connect to the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22. Whether manifest as patience, endurance or gentleness, forbearance is woven throughout the Bible (Proverbs 25:15; Ephesians 4:2).
Applications:
1. We live in a world where much comes down to bandwidth and margin. Whether in business, law, or real estate, we tend to think of forbearance has a negative term as it implies the inevitability of a negative outcomeâŠa turning over the keys, if you will. And I think for many of us this results in seeing forbearance as a surrender of control when it reality itâs a surrender of immediate judgment.
Conviction: We talk about making room for Jesus (âprepare Him roomâ â a popular phrase in worship circles), but often we donât emphasize making room for forgiveness. Forbearance, while a present action, invests in the future and says when someone wrongs meâŠwhen someone offends meâŠIâm going to be ready. Not for retaliation, not for revenge or manipulation, but for patient grace, for meekness as the model of humility. Hence, why forbearance is an extension of 1 Peter 3:15: âAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.â Forbearance has been said to be a honorary fruit of the Spirit; however, the more I think about it, forbearance is perhaps better described as a fruit basket of the Spirit.
God requires us to wait upon Him in order to help us develop forbearance.
For when we wait upon the Lord, we ultimately increase our capacity to forbear with those around us (1 Peter 3:8).
Furthermore, sometimes the best place/time to wait on the Lord is when weâre working. As a finance employee, being single-focused on a particular task can come in handy, not only for the job at hand, but in my aim to hear God. Sure, there may be days I feel I’m sinking in the mud of mundanity; however, if I choose to see my effort as an opportunity to listen to my Creator, not only will I develop a more sensitive ear, but a more forbearing heart in the sense I’m cultivating yieldedness as opposed to self-sufficient tolerance.
3. If weâre meant to bear fruit, each others burdens, and with each other in love with all humility and patience forsaking self-righteousness, then forbearance helps get us there. Itâs embracing the fact we can reflect the very nature of God without using it our advantage (Phil 2:6-8) as we make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph. 4:3). Itâs a remarkable tool in our spiritual arsenal as it flips the legal IOU mentality for a selfless IOU reality that says. ‘I owe you nothing more than what God shows me every day.’
4. Unfortunately, for many of us, itâs easy to ‘conditional-ize’ forbearance among those weâre comfortable with. We compartmentalize and ration it as we pleaseâŠas we see fit. Iâm sure many of us have seen this demonstrated in secular settingsâŠin the workplaceâŠin the field and beyond. And part of this ties to the obviousâŠnot all are saved, following the Lord, or aiming to be like him so we canât expect to be on the receiving end of what, rather who, weâre trying to emulate.
At the same time, we canât give up in being the change we crave, specifically respect to forbearance, being an agent of unbiased unity. When we zoom at Philippians 4 as a whole, note how Paul structures the chapter. Before he talks about how to think and act purely, how heâs learned to be content in all thingsâŠhow he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him, he first talks about being united. Heâs taking vacuum out of the equation.
Forbearance isnât an exclusive right or privilege, itâs part of a corporate calling that goes beyond the bandwidths and margins we so often quantify. If we truly want to lead a full life, we must be open to full kindness as itâs part of how God leads us to repentance. And shouldnât we ultimately want this for everyone?
Bottom line:Â The bridge between being ‘slow to anger’ and ‘abounding in love’ (Psalm 86:15) is forbearance.
âTherefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others.â
If youâre like me, you hear âpersuadeâ and immediately think âconvinceâ; yet, when we dissect the Hebrew and extend it through v. 21, we find Paul is actually talking about influence.
Applying this filter, we can better understand how influence not only partners in God’s ministry of reconciliation, but matures our effectiveness as marketplace influencers.
Granted, there are many ways to broach the topic. For now, we’ll start with our usual ‘core three’ and work from there…
1. Know who youâre fearing
As mentioned, the bottom line of ministry is reconciliation achieved through influencing; however, to get there itâs important we grasp the fear of the Lord.
For while âthe fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledgeâ (Proverbs 1:7), itâs also a preserver of our sincerity (Colossians 3:22) and a gateway to comfort in the Holy Spirit (Acts 9:31).
Note the latter reference:
âSo the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria had peace and was being built up. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it multiplied.â
This tells me two things:
Godly fear multiplies wisdom and virtue in addition to faith.
The evidence of influence is peace inspired by encouragement.
Therefore, when we talk about influence, weâre not talking as much about personal strength as we are the maturation of corporate morale and pointing people in the direction of Jesus (more on this in future posts).
Contrarily, itâs important we understand what influence isnât.
âCause while the key to influence is the fear of the Lord, the enemy will use the opposite spirit, the fear of man, along with memories of past hurt to contrive a narrative where we’re seeking to overcome what’s already been overcome.
Thankfully, as Kingdom agentsâŠministers of reconciliation who can persuade through the fear of the LordâŠwe can rhythmically resist this mindset whiling combating the compromised systems of the world.
For as long as there is sin, enterprise will be governed by hierarchy1 where people are bound by control, manipulation, and intimidation. Yet, as for you, you can see people as God sees them (i.e. forgiven) and help them find purpose through daily influencing where they are.
After all, freedom begets freedomâŠand He craves it more than you do.
2. Know how youâre leading
As effective influencers2, itâs imperative we not only have the right mindset towards people, but our work as well.
For starters, we must view our work as an opportunity to show people who they are as opposed to a stage to prove our self-worth. In this way, we not only invest trust in God being the one to open eyes, but free ourselves to influence through our wiring and discover new strengths through how God uses their responses.
âCause truth is: When we allow God into our realm of influence, we trade the pressure of of accomplishing goals for a humility motivating others to reach them.
But CamâŠwhat if Iâm not a team leader or in a place of authority?
Again, to answer this question…we must ask ourselves why we’re asking it.
For instance…
If we’re talking about what we’ve been conditioned to believe…then authority is nothing more than the appointed person governing ‘over’ us; however, if we’re talking about absolute authority3, then we can see how a) God alone carries it…and b)Â what we often associate as ‘authority’ is, in fact, influence manifest through the seven motivational gifts (as outlined in Romans 12).
Again, the system…a real life Matrix if you will…runs by pecking order, production, and the Jerry Maguire mindset of âshow me the moneyâ, but…
…as Kingdom influencers, we can approach metrics and outcomes without agenda by combining nurturing with our competence4.
Thus, whether youâre a supervisor in crunch time or a subordinate in training, you can help hold your team accountable to achieve certain goals in your respective roles. Just remember no matter what you do to galvanize effort, make sure it stems from a desire for everyone to succeed given a true influencer always values people over goals and never risks reaching them at the cost of anotherâs well-being.
For when we value people and decompartmentalize our desire to impact them, we not only influence a place where encouragement and goodness abound, but also where confidence and favor are ultimately shared.
Stay tuned next time when Iâm unveil my third and final step to maturing as an effective influencer in the marketplace.
âTil then if you have any questions, thoughts, concerns, feel free to leave them below in the âcommentsâ section and Iâll return serve as soon as I can.
Peace for your week,
~ Cameron
Footnotes
As well as the idea leadership is greater than serving (contrary to Romans 12 which tells us each gift is equal and carries status and dignity)
All influencers lead, but not all leaders influence
Difference between authority and authorities
A simple formula for adding value to your team members in a way theyâll turn to you for guidance and feedback
hisgirlfryday.com 