Tag: leadership

Office Angst: 7 Signs of a Toxic Workplace (Part 1)

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Recently, I was driving to work and it occurred to me: By the end of this year, I will have reached the 15-year mark as a full-time employee in corporate America. Crazy how time flies (or Frys in my case), eh?

While I’ve benefited from tight teams in years past, I’ve also worked on some, ahem, not so tight teams educating me to the contrary. With a notable marketplace mileage marker on the horizon, I want to examine some signs of toxic leadership/work culture as well as how we can overcome within our co-worker in Christ identity (1 Corinthians 3:9).

As always, let’s dive in!

1. Teammates aren’t treated as diverse in function, co-equal in value.

While diversity, inclusivity, and equality discussions are expected initiatives in today’s marketplace, let’s be honest: How committed are most employers to consistently upholding these principles? As much as we gravitate towards hierarchy, performance-based metrics, and capitalistic tendencies, the bottom line to this point is essentially outcome divided by constancy.

In the long run, no organization can reach its potential without each member understanding and operating within their value.

Granted, some leave it to the individual to derive their own sense of purpose which can be fair in the context of guiding from a distance. Otherwise, vocationals should know whatever systems they’re in cannot reach their ceiling if people aren’t treated as diverse in function, co-equal in value.

Think about it: If your work leadership encourages favoritism and limits opportunities to a select few, then odds are teamwide morale will decrease and internal tension will increase. Why is this? I submit the significance of this reality is due to it being one of deepest core corporate identities. From an original design perspective, we were (and are) intended to serve as one body. Applied to the marketplace, this means we steward structures that provide equal opportunity for growth to every position and take the same approach to feedback and general engagement (More on this in a future post as honestly, this is one of my favorite topics to discuss).

Note: To those in high-level positions, consider the Jethro principles and seek to execute them effectively so middle managers are accountable to develop those under their care. If you’re young and starting out, find a leader or seasoned veteran with mentorship potential and watch how they respond to feedback and instruction. Who knows? Even if the culture is weak, you may still be able to derive motivation and inspiration from those who are secure in their strengths.

Supporting Bible verses: Hebrews 10:25, 1 Corinthians 12:12-27, 1 Corinthians 3:9, Exodus 18:14-26

2. Passive-aggressive and/or manipulative leadership.

Another side-effect of toxic leadership involves the deliberate withholding of constructive criticism, encouragement, and/or gratitude. In a post-pandemic world, you may have noticed passive-aggressive supervisors falling into one of these camps, using silence or support withdrawal as primary communications tools; however, under no circumstances, should these behaviors be tolerated.

‘Cause truth is: A mature leader not only knows when and how to deliver feedback but facilitates phycological safety, trust, and confidence in challenging situations. If you’re in an environment where leaders have ambushing agendas, redelegate tasks without proper communication, or uses silence to communicate, then I have news for you:

  1. You deserve better!
  2. Leaders who drive wedges and/or use ego to stir division aren’t true leaders!

Of course, I’m not suggesting you abandon ship if you’re currently working under a similar authority. Conversely, I’m encouraging you to take inventory of offenses, collect your emotions, and find a time to speak with the appropriate authority (I.e. supervisor or HR Manager depending on the situation) to clear the air. As long as you integrate other voices and honor your leaders and colleagues, your intentions will be well grounded as you steward peace, advocacy, and forward motion.

Supporting Bible verses: Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 28:2-26, Romans 16:17-18, James 3:14, Ephesians 4:14, Luke 16:8b, Matthew 5:37

3. Lack of trust, communication, and engagement.

Per point #2, if a leader lacks trust, even with a subordinate, the ideal move is to confront the issue fostering the deficit or dissonance. Generally, an employee who feels they aren’t trusted wants to discern areas of improvement; hence, why indifference, or the perception thereof, is not only deflating but often an overflow of a toxic environment.

As you may have learned in your own experiences, a lack of communication will almost always create some form of chaos, angst, or strife, but sound leaders are keen to promote the well-being of their teammates. Remember an occasional check-in or positive acknowledgement can go a long way in reinforcing a worker’s understanding of their value while also regulating their emotions. Regardless of our role, dare to diffuse discord through compassionate engagement and curiosity.

Supporting Bible verses: 1 Corinthians 15:33-44, Titus 3:10

4. No formal review process and/or pathway for development.

As an employee with public, private, and liturgical experience, I can speak candidly to this point having seen this process mapped out a variety of ways. If your employer has no formal performance evaluation process where the only criticism is given in moments of error, then you have a major red flag in your hand.

As my time has taught me, all employees deserve to know if the work they’re doing is effective and efficient. Since we’ve established feedback and communication withholding as signs of environmental toxicity, the call here is straight-forward: Develop and promote a review process where all team members top-down are accountable and have a means to build areas of strength and weakness alike. Even if the meeting frequency is quarterly or biannual, the impacts can be massive as you streamline a process to preserve morale in tandem with corporate performance.

Supporting Bible verses: James 1:19, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 4:6

Stay tuned next time when I’ll conclude this post with my final three points including a podcast overviewing the content. For now…

Have an amazing weekend!

Cover photo creds: Sesame Disk

Jethro Principles: Structures for Organized Relationship (Part 1)

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Central Thought: The Lord provides a structure in which intimacy with God is nurtured through a system of organized relationships.

Central Theme: The practice of multiple shepherds; the concept of communal shepherding.

Central Culture: A sense of ‘connection’ among members of the Body.
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When I say ‘Jethro’ what immediately comes to mind? A husky high priest embracing Moses, guiding him from fugitive to family? A fatherly shepherd in the middle of nowhere?

Perhaps you recall that ‘Prince of Egypt‘ scene when a jovial Jethro leads the Midianites in a festive (“you must learn to join the”) dance around the campfire.

To be honest, I imagine most first impressions of Jethro involves at least one of these things.

But what if I told you Jethro wasn’t just a hospitable father-in-law but a strategic advisor with a depth of business savvy? Would the idea of him being more than a pastoral shepherd cross your mind?

If not, dare to consider Exodus 18 where Jethro advises Moses how to manage two million people, essentially giving him a promised way to the Promised Land.

Let’s set the stage:

After wondering to the wilderness, Jethro finds a swamped Moses settling disputes among the thousands of freshly delivered Israelites. Cloaked in experience, Jethro asks Moses what he’s doing knowing full well what is going on. Moses then replies he’s judging the people as they come to him inquiring God’s will. Immediately, Jethro responds by giving Moses a system and structure for accountable relationship:

“Look for able men…who fear God, who are trustworthy…and place them over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. And let them judge the people at all times. Every great matter they shall bring to you, but any small matter they shall decide themselves. So, it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you.” ~ Exodus 18:21-22 (ESV)

Heeding Jethro’s advice, Moses appoints a team of elders for each group size in v. 24-26. From there, a relieved Moses finds the flexibility and mobility he needs to meet God on Mount Sinai (Exodus 19) and receive the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20).

Now, I know what you’re thinking: But Cam, I’m low on the totem pole in my not-so-large company. How can this possibly apply to me?

Good news! These Jethro principles, while ancient, are timelessly paramount to the foundations of leadership and character. For starters, not only do they serve as a template for stewarding organized relationships, but also reveal how we, as Kingdom influencers, are to preserve our margins to experience and facilitate intimacy with God. In Moses’ case, he knew God was with him; he just didn’t know how this intimacy needed to be fostered. And I think for many of us, that’s the hardest part: While we may have the discernment, we can’t steer into the unforced rhythms of grace until we embrace our limitations (Matthew 11:20-24) and trust God’s entrusted.

As for Jethro, it’s interesting to note how his counsel reflects the Trinity in an organized relational context where each role is co-equal in value, diverse in function. One could say because of the Godhead, there’s always been a template on how responsibility, accountability, and stewardship operate since one can’t exist without the other. Either way…

…for God so loved the world, He gave us communal systems to be institutionalized so His mission could be realized.

Knowing this, we can see the heart of Jethro more clearly. While delegating authority was crucial in the moment, the intent of his objective wasn’t to establish hierarchy, but to help people discover God and to…

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Selah.

Study Questions

  1. As Jethro modeled, we serve community as we provide others what they need to receive life and godliness. While the church is a primary outlet, for most, our jobs are the hubs for our social interaction. That said, do you see Jethro principles at work? If so, how are they succeeding and/or where can they improve?
  2. How can one’s concept of authority benefit from the Jethro principles? How can one’s concept of hierarchy benefit from the Jethro principles?
  3. How to Jethro principles help us deal with conflict management and resolution?
Cover photos creds: Simplify the Message; written as mini-devotional for The Gate Community Church (request at or under 500 words)

Kingdom Awakeners: The Reason We Exist (Part 3)

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In recent days, I’ve been thinkin’ what we, at His Girl Fryday, stand for.

‘Cause outside looking in, it may not be easy understanding what we’re about. Yes, we are a written resource. Yes, we have a heart for vocational leaders with ministerial influence. And yes, we have a bio on this page you’re welcome to view at your leisure.

But perhaps we haven’t done the best job conveying how you fit into the message we carry. Like an expanding thumbnail struggling for resolution, perhaps we can sharpen the image not only on what we do, but how we aim to do it.

Assuming ‘yes’, permit me to zoom out and bring it back in.

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From my experience, I think it’s safe to say those saved and walking with Christ are united to see the lost, found, the blind, see, and the broken, healed. For those in daily relationship with God, actively choosing faith over fear, I believe we are unanimously burdened by those in proximity struggling and searching for deep answers.

But what if I told you wanting these people to find Jesus (be it our co-workers, our friends and family, our business partners, the next generation, etc.) is the beginning of evangelism, not a means or an end?

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…and that this desire can’t be separated from helping them discover not only their strengths, but their use as motivational/community gifts at work?

I don’t know about you, but I see the part I must play.

Like many, I’m concerned for the homeless, the backslidden, and the religious. I’m wary for the depressed, the oppressed, and those thirsty for rest.

However, I’m also burdened by the fact my neighbor, though a church goer, doesn’t realize she’s called to be an apostle in the education industry. I’m burdened by my friend at work oblivious to his call as a teacher/pastor in financial arenas. And I’m haunted by a supervisor unaware she has a prophetic mouthpiece geared for real estate.

Granted, these are fictional profiles that may or may not apply to you reading this.

The point is: At one point or another, many of us can relate to having carried a separation of church and state into our fields of expertise. While we continually hope our colleagues accept Christ (and for others to mature in Christ), not nearly as many think they can do anything apart from pointing in the right direction.

Not to suggest pointing by itself is a bad thing. There are times all we can do is point. I get that.

But I also think we often settle thinking our career is solely a parallel track to evangelism when in reality, it can be perpendicular as well. For instance, who’s to say a nurse can’t be a pastor when on the clock? Who’s to say the gift of exhortation can’t be applied when administering medical support?

Think of it this way…

There are seven ministry offices outlined by Ephesians 4 and 1 Timothy 3/5: Apostle, deacon, elder, evangelist, pastor, prophet, and teacher. Now, overlay them with the seven community/motivational gifts specified in Romans 12/1 Corinthians 12. Do the same with the nine manifestation gifts also listed in 1 Corinthians 12. Finally, consider the thousands upon thousands of career fields in the world today.

Like a Sonic drink algorithm, that’s a whole lot of options to be like Jesus, lead like Jesus, serve like Jesus, and reach like Jesus.

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The problem is we vastly reduce this number (assuming it can be quantified) thinking only a licensed pastor can do pastor things, a full-time missionary can do evangelist things, and so forth.

Why we do this…well, there are many reasons. For now, let’s just say that’s why His Girl Fryday exists…and plans to stick around for a while. True, we may not lead thousands to salvation like some of you will; however, we figure by encouraging downcast vocationals, we can join you in helping people around the world unlock their God-given purpose.

After all, none of us can do what we’re called to do without someone on the other side. Why not lock arms and enjoy the ride.

Let’s go…

Cover photo creds: eaglessight.com

Two Way Street: The Next for Next Gen (Part 1)

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I got to get something off my chest.

As a Millennial, I’m starting to wonder if the church is exhausting the ‘next’ in ‘next generation’…if what she considers ‘next’ is ‘new’ and what she considers ‘new’ is ‘more’1.

‘Cause truth is: While I’m all about the emerging generation being poured into, I can’t help but think we, as the body, need to re-evaluate ‘next’ relative to God’s discipleship intent. Granted, I’m a part of the rising leadership community and have much to learn; still, the splinter lingers in the back of my mind:

Should the church replace, ‘The future of church leadership is the next generation‘ with ‘The future of church leadership is discovering the next for each generation‘ in its ‘life on life’ vernacular?

If ‘yes’, then I believe the Lord wants to unveil specific strategies on how we’re to walk this out. But before we can dive into application, we must first bask our context in the Word.

As always, let’s dig in…

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Starting in Psalm 1452:4…

 “One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” (ESV)
“One generation shall praise Your works to another, and shall declare Your mighty and remarkable acts.” (AMP)
“Generation after generation stands in awe of your work; each one tells stories of your mighty acts.” (MSG)
“One generation will declare Your works to the next and will proclaim Your mighty acts.” (HCSB)
“Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power.” (NLT)

Right away, we see why contrasting different translations is important when studying Scripture. For instance, if you read the ESV, HCSB, AMP, or a similar translation, you might interpret ‘one generation’ to literally mean one generation; however, in context, this is not what David is implying. Rather, David is stating how worship should be a successive and progressive tradition – a two-way street from which one generation can learn from another. Had David been posed with the idea praise3 could only be experienced from top to bottom, it would have been a compromise to adoration in his mind.

As such, the key takeaway here is delighting in God is not only at the core of who we are, but also the core of our unity…which cannot be reduced to a unidirectional expression.

Now, let’s collate this with the parable of the wineskins:

“’No one tears a piece from a new garment and puts it on an old garment. If he does, he will tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled, and the skins will be destroyed. But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. And no one after drinking old wine desires new, for he says, ‘The old is good.’” ~ Luke 5:36-39 (ESV)

Exegesis applied, Luke is illustrating the fact no one can mix legalism with new faith or religious tradition with divine grace; however, in this case, let’s assume old wineskins apply to older generations and new wineskins apply to rising generations. When Luke suggests the old is good4, he’s not saying aged is better in all regards (though with wine, this is certainly the case) as much as he’s emphasizing the Ecclesiastes 3 reality that for each option, there is a season, a time, and a place.

In other words, what’s new and what’s established are not only meant to co-exist, but partake under the heading of ‘fresh’ or as Hebrew translates it, ‘mechudash’ meaning ‘renewed’. Accordingly, while the literal pouring of wine from new skin to old skin doesn’t make sense, when we consider ‘fresh’ relationally from God’s perspective, we can know God as faithful to renew fresh works in all men for cross-generational education and exultation.

Think of it this way: As disciple-making Christ followers, we can be like wine poured out as drink offerings (Philippians 2:17, 2 Timothy 4:6) upon the sacrificial offering of faith; however, unlike wine, we can serve free from the yoke of wineskins seeking to compartmentalize how that faith operates in action! For example, if you’re an elderly leader, you don’t have to feel your place in church is limited to on-call mentoring and if you’re a teenager, you don’t have to feel disqualified due to youth. Christ in you…if anything is possible, who says you can’t team and serve alongside those twice or half your age? If God has called you, then go for it!

As the Spirit impressed upon me before writing this…

…how sweet it is knowing each generation has the capacity to pour into another? That no matter who is involved, as long as God is being praised and exalted, there is a place for His fresh work in all modes and peoples of life.

To tie this up, I’m all for Millennials, Post-Millennials/Zennials having their opportunity and time to step up. But I also don’t believe the retired generation has to be retired from leadership roles if they’re called and appointed in that season. History has constantly shown the emerging generation to approach the older ones with a ‘what about me‘ mentality. And don’t get me wrong. I get my peers looking around wondering who is willing to pour into them. But the flip side is also true. We can’t neglect pursuing places for those who naturally have more insight or pigeon-hole them where they’re not called as a plug-in for program.

After all, leadership is not a function of age, but a) a way the God can be glorified and b) an outlet for the fear of the Lord to be known. If the body wants to know the fullness of ministry as God intended, age can’t be a primary (key word) filter in finding the balance between giving/receiving…pouring in/pouring out. As long as you have breath, you not only have a purpose, but a place for that purpose to manifest.

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Stay tuned next time when I’ll dive deeper into the ‘next’ vs. ‘new’ vs. ‘more’ dichotomy as alluded to in my opening. Until then, be blessed and refreshed even when pressed and don’t forget to rest in His best.

Selah.

Footnotes

  1. Or visa-versa
  2. One of David’s favorite psalms
  3. In any form, be it discipleship/mentoring, teaching, prophesying, pastoring, etc.
  4. Or ‘better’ in some translations
Cover photo creds: The Beck Group

Messiah’s Misfits: Why The Name Says It All

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So recently I’m reading 1 Corinthians 4 when suddenly it hits me…

…of all the chapters in all of Paul’s letters, arguably the greatest content on vocational perseverance can be found in v. 9-13 when Paul discusses the nature of true apostleship.

 Let’s check it out…

“For I think that God has exhibited us apostles as last of all, like men sentenced to death, because we have become a spectacle to the world, to angels, and to men. We are fools for Christ’s sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute. To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things.” (ESV)

“It seems to me that God has put us who bear his Message on stage in a theater in which no one wants to buy a ticket. We’re something everyone stands around and stares at, like an accident in the street. We’re the Messiah’s misfits. You might be sure of yourselves, but we live in the midst of frailties and uncertainties. You might be well-thought-of by others, but we’re mostly kicked around. Much of the time we don’t have enough to eat, we wear patched and threadbare clothes, we get doors slammed in our faces, and we pick up odd jobs anywhere we can to eke out a living. When they call us names, we say, “God bless you.” When they spread rumors about us, we put in a good word for them. We’re treated like garbage, potato peelings from the culture’s kitchen. And it’s not getting any better.” (MSG)

“For, I think, God has exhibited us apostles at the end of the line, like men sentenced to death [and paraded as prisoners in a procession], because we have become a spectacle to the world [a show in the world’s amphitheater], both to angels and to men. We are [regarded as] fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ; we are weak, but you are strong; you are highly esteemed, but we are dishonored. To this present hour we are both hungry and thirsty; we are continually poorly dressed, and we are roughly treated, and wander homeless. We work [for our living], working hard with our own hands. When we are reviled and verbally abused, we bless. When we are persecuted, we take it patiently and endure. When we are slandered, we try to be conciliatory and answer softly. We have become like the scum of the world, the dregs of all things, even until now.” (AMP)

Now, before we dive in, we must understand the broader context.

First, what is the nature of true apostleship? Going back to 4:1, we find the answer: Those who minister Gospel hope as servants/stewards/ambassadors of Christ no matter the cost. The Amplified breaks it down further describing these servants as those who are certain in adoration more than they are uncertain in anything else. Essentially, apostleship goes beyond the office of apostle and involves anyone who is willing to be salt, light, and life in places where there is none. If you are being a faithful steward of God’s call on your life, you’re engaging your apostolic anointing! Whether or not you have a mobile ministry is moot compared to God’s faithfulness being reflected in what you say and do as you draw people to Christ (Colossians 3:17).

Second, how do we abide in the nature of true apostleship? Verses 7-8 give us a hint when paraphrased: We have not only been given everything for goodness and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), but every reason to trust the Lord as our portion (Psalm 73:26)¹. Accordingly, as we reference God in reverence², to live as Christ (Philippians 1:21) becomes the foundation to our perseverance and influence regardless of setting and trial. After all, “there are different kinds of [work], but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work (1 Corinthians 12:6).

Finally, we arrive at v. 9 where Paul employs some serious poetic license. Messiah’s misfits (MSG), prisoners of spectacle (AMP, ESV), an accident in the street everyone stands around and stares at…these are all powerful metaphors and similes reminding us there is no earthly honor in apostleship. If, by chance, we are pursuing any glory apart from what is rightfully God’s, our endurance will not stand, but if our satisfaction is rooted in being complete with Christ (Colossians 2:10), if our contentment is secure to His sufficiency, only then will we be victorious as dregs. It’s a paradox to the flesh, but one necessary for our dependence. When we are thirsty, we’ll see the need as being filled as opposed to satisfying a lack. When we are persecuted, we’ll know God is with us as one who relates as opposed to withdrawn as one who can’t. And when we’re struggling to make ends meet, we’ll rest in the mysteries of what God has and hasn’t revealed since our reliance is not contingent on self.

For some of us, it’s hard to accept what doesn’t make sense. It’s like we’re okay being misfits to sin, but not to the minds/culture tolerating it. I know for me, I’d rather be criticized for what I do wrong than be judged for what I do right. At least, with the former I can apply the correction and move on! However, I also know whenever I crave my work to be affirmed and my love to be reciprocated, I can declare God’s grace as sufficient, the fact I can joyfully boast in His power made perfect in my frailty (2 Corinthians 12:9-11). And suddenly those ‘weak as I eke‘ moments fade in something infinitely more…

…the sweet reality that I need JESUS! What a beautiful place to be!

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Bottom line: If you’re a vocational leader, dare to see the identity of what you do through the lens of apostleship, through the lens of being a servant taking light into dark places. And if hard times come, don’t be surprised; rather view them as a sign you’re doing things right³. When you bless others in the face of voids and discouragement, remember the same Christ you ask to bless others is the same Christ who will honor your obedience. If you don’t fit in, remember you were never called to in the first place. Stand out, take what comes, and know the power of you standing through adversity will assuredly have a positive ripple-effect on those around you even if you don’t see it right away.

Selah.

Footnotes

  1. Note how strength in this verse has Hebrew roots to ‘rock’
  2. This form of dependence opens up the Romans 5:1-5 road (more on this in a future post)
  3. Assuming the hard times aren’t consequences of sin, shortcuts, etc.
Cover photo creds: Medium