It’s a refreshingly cloudy afternoon in the dead of summer as I write this, the dog days along with the 8:00 pm CT sunsets knocking on the doorstep. In short time, a new school year will be dawning; the commutes will be longer. What better time to return to a tradition unlike any other?
A month post solstice, I’m riding on a relative high. Five months since the infamous dog attack, we Fry’s are starting to sense momentum for the first time in almost four years. In house, the freak accident from February still bears weight as a microcosm to the decade, though the impacts have since dissipated. No question, I’m [super] proud of my family for how we continue to hold for dear life (in all respects) and have rebounded in the wake of an additional hardship, the Juju effect in full swing. 🦋 Granted, the assists from Vanderbilt to Refuge Center have been needed, yet the moves we’ve made regarding therapy, counseling, litigation, even education are paying off. The end result is a victorious ‘ah ha’ on the heels of a down year we refuse to let haunt us, precedence be darned.Â
At the Q2 turn, the premise of this year is as simple and it is straightforward:Â Slowly but surely, Lys and I are getting life and lives back on track, taking back some of what was stolen from us – the bitter dregs of ’23, a fading memory somewhere in the shadows and beyond the rear-view. As mentioned last December, last year’s second half was rough, dare I say historically so. To be honest, I still have questions I’m struggling to reconcile; however, this hasn’t kept 2024 from being the sweet eminence we hoped and prayed for last New Year’s Day. As we rise, we press on in new stride and gear, the smile rate at its most frequent since 2020 ironically enough.Â
Apart from the home front, the contrast between this year and last is no greater felt than the 9-5. Confirmed by prophetic voices last November, the clean slate has proven not only to be what I needed but more importantly, what the Doctor ordered. Any time you can serve an organization that doubles down as a safe place where mission, community, and treating people as diverse in function, co-equal in value, are steady cornerstones, good great things are going to happen. For the first time in my career, I feel understood and appreciated across the board in an environment where there’s no unnecessary funk, toxicity, or division. Day by day, I’m learning more of what God has equipped me to do as those around me believe the best in each other without the agenda of boxing others up. As Gandalf told King Theoden, “Look upon your land…
…a scene I resonate all the more to these days.
Concerning church life, while there’s plenty of direction to be defined, we’re excited to be inching back into healthy rhythms again. Certainly, we’ve enjoyed seeing what God has done in different bodies the past year and building connections within those circles. Yet, having a default fellowship location, as many of us can attest, is a gift to behold.
As for ministry outside the church, our While We’re Waiting small group for bereaved parents has officially launched and is open to mothers and/or fathers coping with child loss. Last week, I shared on Missionary Radio about the nonprofit as well as the community plant Lys and I are seeding in middle Tennessee. Honestly, I haven’t been this stirred about a God-given assignment since the TDOT Essentials Bible Study in 2019. Though the demographic is niche, we’re all in on this call to partner with God in binding the brokenhearted and helping the mourning know how blessed they are. As Lys and I have experienced, apart from those with compensation expectations, there’s not enough people willing to navigate our darkest hours; hence, why we’re eager to champion this trail moving forward as we hope to not only reach more bereaved parents but help the church realize how essential nourishing the grieving heart is outside those staccato moments on Sunday morning.Â
Of course, there’s more I could say at this point, especially in detailing the status of special projects Lys and I are working on; however, I’ll leave some space for the fall as well as the 2024 Year in Review post in five months. Admittingly, many of the family narratives this decade have been challenging, but I suppose this justifies the sharing of this update. As difficult as recent years have been, there’s wisdom in documenting the journey out from the valleys we find ourselves in. For me, putting words to progress is a means of worship and delighting in God’s sovereignty. While our creative outlets may vary, I encourage you to express gratitude in similar fashion, even if the primary inspiration is to realign and reset course.
In closing, I part with one of my favorite Bible chapter introductions, 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 (ESV). Between this Scripture and the podcast above, I’ll let them capture the ‘selah’ for today.Â
God of All Comfort
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.
For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.”
Boundaries are an amazing thing when they are based in health and life wellness where self-preservation isn’t the primary driver but an overflow. I think many times we manufacture parameters that keep us comfortable, sometimes sheltered; however, this should never be a function of self-effort. Regardless of your situation, if you’re contending with mental and/or emotional deficits, if you’re being unfairly handled with negative physical implications, adhering to limits and routines can be healthy.
Grief is a gift that allows you to encounter and encourage people who have been there. Grief tears down walls, lets you meet people who understand pain and suffering with compassion, and promotes vulnerability along the way. Essentially, grief is a powerful tool in our ministry arsenal and can capture hope (and our ability to respond to it) in relatable ways.
Contrary to popular belief, not only is there a difference between mourning and grieving (see breakdown below) but there’s room to receive hope and choose joy in each case. While some people think you have to grieve to mourn only to get to the “good stuff”, this simply isn’t true. If we try and move people away from sadness instead of encourage them through it, we’re marginalizing God’s ability of reconciliation as it intends to operate through the saints. In an ideal world, the church can be a leader in the conversation, serving as an oasis for those in crisis where God’s healing presence is fostered.
Note: Per point #3, consider grief as a container holding your thoughts, feelings, and experiences when someone (or something) you love dies. In short, while grief is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss, mourning is when you allow grief to manifest externally with the aim to persevere and endure.
Well, folks, the summer equinox is upon us and you know what that means…
…time for yet another enlightening installment of ‘halftime lessons learned’ where the year goes under inspection, the heart under reflection, and fears under subjection…
…where inventory becomes short story…
…and hopes teetering on paralysis find rest in analysis.
Now, I admit: when probing a year, I prefer filtering my thoughts into bite-sized, applicable takeaways; however, this year, I can’t help but feel I must take a different approach given its narrative and the irony of potentially leaving truth between the lines.
After all, not all years are created equal, and as such, easily quantifiable.
But where to begin…that is the question.
Obviously, life on the home front has changed significantly with Everly. Like Caeden, her joy has proved contagious in a year full of adjustments. Granted, with two under three and an adolescent pup, maturation compels naturally when a family grows for a third straight year. Even so, this year’s home-owning family of four has felt far more settled than last year’s house-hunting family of three. Accordingly, all is well and better than ever for me and my house.
Of course, not all change has been hunky-dory; the lack of youth ministry, in particular, has proven especially difficult.
For starters, I didn’t realize until after-the-fact just how much I’d assigned identity to role and pain to under the carpet 1 2. I suppose when you’re constantly pouring out and giving your all regardless of peripherals, it’s easy for that to become your reality. Unfortunately, the more you tolerate voids in this way, the more you think you can fill them loving on your own terms, as if the Golden Rule alone can grant purpose.
But as we know, that’s not how begetting life works3. Ultimately, if we desire a pure walk with God based in intimacy over responsibility, we must confront the interference…
…which brings me to where I’m at today…
…where if there’s any desperation, it’s for my sense of place and passion to be free from seeking re-orientation in ego4, specifically what should have been.
As the Lord has been convicting me in recent weeks, the world is searching for sacred love…is aching for eternity (as perpetual presence)…and yearning for believers to identify with Jesus. And while it’s easy to emphasize advancement and progress, there are seasons when we must return to awe, re-embrace the basics of our faith, and allow the gnosis5 of ‘we are not what we do’ to seep below the neckline6.
For when we allow God to reset, restart, and refresh both course and inner man, our strength is renewed to release not only what we lack, but what hasn’t worked7.
Think of it this way: whenever you crave wonder to extinguish discouragement, remember what truly lasts. Yes, seasons come and go. And yes, there will be times when you feel what should be happening isn’t happening.
But glory to God life is so much richer than our temporary inconveniences…that even in the midst of what’s not working or happening, he uses those voids to remind us who we are…and how much we need him.
And while the roadmap will surely vary from person to person…
…like a river to be crossed, we will get there.
As for the rest of 2018, there’s so much I could say, from our new family freelancing business to returning to school to finish my meteorology degree (see vid below for backstory); however, given much is still developing, I’ll hold off until December before lending a detailed update/recap.
‘Til then, enjoy halftime.
Selah.
Footnotes
In the name of endurance.
Not to mention those pesky what if’s…like what if I had allowed myself to be poured into more consistently? What if I had recognized ‘x’ insecurity sooner? What if I had applied this personal/program correction at ‘x’ point? Etc, etc…
Eternal esurance slogan?
Notably in temporary measures like success, relationship, and comparisons
Head knowledge
Heart knowledge (i.e. epignosis); in case you need to know where I’m at, there you go
hisgirlfryday.com 