So…I was going to write about some more NICU life lessons today…
So, I was going to discuss more NICU life lessons today; however, after losing my home flooring due to a washer malfunction and a rental car in 48 hours, I’m calling an audible for two reasons:
Reason #1: If frustration is a thermos, I’m overflowing past the brim, fresh off the sight of my house becoming a waterfall with pipe water sloshing from the laundry room to the front door. As steam vents from my ears, so too is my sanity.
Reason #2: If fear is a storm, I’m in the eye, scarred by the visual of my rental spiraling out of the driveway unmanned, clipping the neighbor’s mailbox, destroying my car door, and coming within a foot of impacting the neighbor’s car.
Of all the reasons and seasons for this to happen, this happens now. I mean, I know when it rains, it pours, but come on, life, this is ridiculous!Seriously, God, I know you’re up there! Can you throw us a lifeline, a SOS, anything? Just for one day, one flippin’ day, can Lys and I catch a little break?
*Sigh*
My mind says I can’t do this anymore. I’m losing my fight. I’m not made for this road. But deep down, I don’t want to give up on you being the break I crave at the end of the day. After all, when we need to stop and breathe, you are the breath in our lungs. I only must look so far as the ventilator in front of me. As alarms resound, give Lyssah and me the strength to endure with character so our capacity to believe in You and share your love increases. I thank you for trusting us with Jubilee, for this appointed time of troubleshooting through which we can model perseverance to our neighbors, literally and figuratively. Per 2 Corinthians 4:8- 10, reset that big picture again so we may be good to go by your goodness. Even though we’re afflicted, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; struck down, but not destroyed; help us carry in our body the death of Jesus, so that His life may manifest and multiply. Amen.
Perspective and prayer applied, I’m still lost at sea if peace is an ocean. From losing livability in my house to awkward conversations with insurance companies, my emotions are bursting at the seam, enough to make this passage a tough one to swallow. Yet, even as vultures begin to circle, even as these physical and emotional toils build, I will count it all joy as I consider what God may be expanding in this season.
Take it from a broken man: If all you can do is say, ‘Yes’ and roll with it, you have won in Jesus’s name. Like Bill Murray in ‘What About Bob’, what baby steps lack in initial distance make up for them in determination over time. So must our faith be as we walk and talk with God during crisis.
Lately, I’ve been marveling at how the past seven weeks have mirrored the past eighteen months.
On one hand, it’s been the worst of times; on the other, it’s been the “first” of times…
…with every day an exhausting, sometimes unprecedented mix of trial and turbulence.
However, as I’ve continued to study 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, I’ve been captivated by a certain truth, a keen illumination as once eloquently captured by Joe Novenson:
“The feel of faith is not strength, but dependent weakness.”
Mmm…just let that sink in a little.
The feel of faith…a dependent weakness. What a remarkable association. And apologies in case you heard that noise in the background.
That was just a mic drop echoing deep within the bowels of my soul.
For as many of you know, this Jubilee journey has been the epitome of humbling. In all sincerity, words can only go so far as the joyride (Jubilee’s name compels me to call it as such) has left me mesmerized wrestling with the scale of God’s sovereign strength amidst the chaos.
Still, the more Lys and I have endured and persevered, the more we’ve been able to taste God’s providence and assurance. To the extent we’ve anchored our trust, to that extent we’ve been able to mutually rely on God in unison, even harmony.
Again, it’s a unique paradox but one I’m discovering and profoundly grateful for.
‘Cause the way I see it: The specific season we’re in, from Jubilee to Covid caution, is more than one we’re supposed to ‘get through’…but one we’re meant to bear through.
The question is: In our various conflict resolutions and troubleshootings, what are we bearing (or forbearing) along the way?
While I’m still seeking God for solutions, what I can say is sometimes all we can do is stay the course and know God will set our paths straight. Especially in a time when many are forcing restarts, from marriage and relationships to work and church life, we can be prone to manufacture tranquility. Why we’d rather rush to refresh and blank our slates as opposed to conquering with confidence? Honestly, your guess is as good as mine.
Yet, as I continue to struggle amidst the unrest, I will gladly embrace a holy dependence that isn’t withdrawn like the trends around me. What I’m learning in my walk with God, with Lys, even at Foundation Group, is the sweet reminder the greatest victories are shared and beared. As much as we want to thrive, as much as we crave a new chapter, we can’t possibly ‘get there’ without partnering in weakness with what and whom God has already established.
My charge to you, dear ones, is two-fold:
Keep heart, take heart…but don’t lose heart!
You can struggle and live abundantly at the same time.
Don’t disengage what your challenges are tied to; rather engage the reason you’ve been entrusted to overcome them. Sure, it may take some time. Perhaps a year or two or ten. But together, we will ‘get there’.
‘Til then, don’t sign off yet. At least until God says it’s time.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about dust. After all, I need a new Swiffer. Possibly another Dyson.
However, in this case, I’ve been contemplating not only my relationship with God, but my relationship to God.
For when in crisis, it’s hard not to consider the contrasts…
When chaos is great, God is greater.
If man is small, how much less are his problems?
If man can do good, how much more can God do likewise?
You get the drift.
Granted, it makes sense to embrace these dichotomies in seasons of trials; hence, why I’m writing this.
‘Cause truth is…
When we wrestle with God during challenging times, we’re wrestling in our weakness to understand Him…and trust IN Him.
As the story of Jacob’s wrestling match (Genesis 32) tells us, there is a holy way to contend as we confront our failures and frailties.
The question is: How do we model this type of dependence?
For starters, I submit we perceive our smallness as a big deal. As the Scriptures stress, we are significant, yet small compared to the grandeur of the Almighty (Psalm 40:17, Isaiah 66:1-2, James 4:8-10); in fact, the Hebrew word for ‘wrestle’ literally translates to dust. Go figure!
As such, we can take joy knowing the freedom of living life to scale in the fullness of who God is.
For when we embrace our weakness at the feet of Jesus, we can accept how struggling with God in faith leads to peace, revelation, even blessings. This ties to the concept of divine wrestling being a grappling of our humanity and a tenacious acceptance into intimacy. Just as God relentlessly pursues us, so is there a renewing of life when we hold onto the vastness that is Him.
My encouragement to you, my friends, is this: If you’re, like me, feeling like dry bones, as if you’re going back and forth between, ‘All I can do is stand’ and ‘All I want to do is fight’, understand the reason you’re not alone is also the reason you’re more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37) with life to come back to.
While the ways to restoration are many, dare to see wrestling with God as a spectacular way to get there. Even if you feel too weak or too stuck, remember who you are in light of God and what you can do when you view perseverance as a way to discover Him. You’ll find as you abide in God’s sovereignty, the more capacity you’ll have to hope while receiving His strength in place of cheerful fatalisms.
Not long ago, I was on the phone with an obstinate client.
A stubborn deer in the headlights, I made every attempt to lead him to clarity. Timelines, next steps, how to discern and provide relevant information…the works.
Yet, after 20 minutes of verbal tennis, our conversation had locked even at deuce, the writing on the wall now clear: No call to action or motivational strategy was going to move this client.
Partially defeated, I started to guide this call to a landing when I suddenly I heard the following: “Do you advise I do this?”
A necessary inquiry in this case but one rarely sprung so late in the game. With match point in sight, I summoned my best response in the moment. The lead off?
“As far as it be with you…“
A few seconds later, I sensed a shift in momentum as if somehow this sentence had turned the tides. Finally, the silence was pierced.
“You’re right. While I had considered that, I just needed to hear it was possible.”
And before you knew it, we were on our way – 20 seconds of insane courage pressed against 20 minutes of desperation trying to get there.
Fast-forward to today and I’m still processing this happy ending and the clause that made it happen. Given the Scriptural implications, I’d like to piggyback off this story to help us understand Romans 12:18-19 in a fresh light and how we can serve customers of all types with zeal (Romans 12:11, Titus 2:14)…as far as it be with us.
Ready to jump in?
Let’s do it…
Scripture 1: “Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody.” ~ Romans 12:18 (MSG)
Scripture 2: “Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” ~ Romans 12:19(MSG)
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” ~ Romans 12:19 (NIV)
Observation 1: Let’s be honest. While God created good in everyone, we seldom see it in full display during our initial interactions. Perhaps the occasional flash or two. But generally nothing more due to limited exposure, the hustle of business, and the lack of physical engagement. In a marketplace context, this is especially true when dealing with difficult customers and colleagues. With the number of walls and veils in existence today, discovering the beauty in everyone can seem like blind faith; however, when we filter this verse through a vocational lens, we can find joy in blessing all people under our breath, if not through direct encouragement. Even when we encounter antagonism, we can promote harmony as peacemakers in the opposite spirit. As Paul later says in v. 21, we champion goodness, generosity, and joy not by what happens to us externally but the light we carry internally. Accordingly, if your goal is to be reactive, then you cannot be proactive in seeing the silver linings in challenging people and situations.
My thought is: When we go into work each day, why not center our hearts and make up our minds to get along with everyone? After all, we don’t commit to these calls because they’re easy but because we have the ingredients to season our settings with hope. All the more reason to say, ‘Thank you, Jesus‘ during the dial-ins and commutes of life.
Observation 2: In a fast-paced culture, timing and timeliness are everything. At least, that’s what culture wants us to think. And to be fair, in a client care context, this makes sense. Many times, the pathway to blessing a customer is to honor their time with a mixture of best practice and efficient decision-making. But what about when clients delay the help they crave through impatience, procrastination, even obduracy? What do we say, what do we do when colleagues or clients insist their way or the highway? Is there a holy solution to “good riddance”? Well, in a single word, yes. There is most certainly a way and Romans 12:19 hints at the answer:
Whenever we’re inflicted in a way worthy of judgment, we have an opportunity to let go and let God handle it.
Far too often in the heat of the moment, our offense disables compassion and grace; however, when we apply v.19, we make room not only for God’s wrath (i.e. His ministry of reconciliation and love manifest through justice) but for care to be centered on the person, not their grievance. Don’t waste time trying to make things right in your own strength; you’ll only burn out in frustration or overstep an unauthorized boundary. Instead, as far as it be with you, trust God to take care of the consequences as you passionately bear results through meekness. Put another way, don’t consume yourself with unassigned fire; rather pay it forward with humility and watch God win your adversary over.
Bottom Line 1: As you follow Christ’s example and live a life controlled by the Spirit (Ephesians 5:15-21), inspire peace and mutual upbuilding (Romans 14:19).
Bottom Line 2: As you trust God in trying situations, make room for His justice and reconciliation to prevail.
Prayer: “Father, we come before you now. We thank you for creating in us hearts that desire good and godliness, for upwelling thirsts for righteousness in our workplaces; however, we also confess we’re not always consistent in acknowledging your beauty, let alone the beauty you’ve cultivated in others within the mundanities of life. For those who may be struggling with offense, desiring retaliation in self-gratifying ways, refresh their hearts to know your wrath is pure and able to permeate the darkest chaos. Help them be still, to know your presence as they leave room for your wonder working power. As for the rest of us, center our desire for influence, excellence, and resolution in a supernatural satisfaction that only comes from abiding in your sovereignty. Regardless of where we’re at, what circumstances we’re facing, help us exchange our lust for control for a trust that surrenders. In all we commit our hands and feet to, may the fruit of our effort be blessed for your glory’s sake. Amen.”
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