Category: The Bivocational Life

Year in Review: A Look Back at 2022

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Remember that scene in Muppet Christmas Carol when Scrooge tilts around town extending good cheer?

I don’t know about you…but rewatching this with my kiddos, I can’t help but appreciate Caine’s conviction as he proclaims:

The glory that you see
Is born again each day
Don’t let it slip away
How precious life can be

With a thankful heart that is wide awake
I do make this promise every breath I take
Will be used now to sing your praise

To be fair, the transformation of character is heart-warming even if condensed in a cinematic finale. But to be honest, these admissions of truths, while dear to heart, are harder to swallow this year.

And for good reason, dare I dive into details you may already know. A year to remember? Oh, for sure. But what exactly should I remember? That is the question I’m asking with one week left on this year’s clock.

While a recap can only go so far, what I can say is to what I remember, to that I will be grateful. Lost wind and sail be darned, I will not yield to disappointment though the woods still surround me.

For starters, I delight in God and the daily outpouring of His nature into the challenges and opportunities He divinely appointed this past year. No question, it took a marriage, a family…and many a team and tribe to bear the load. To our families, friends, colleagues, and the NICU units at Centennial and Vanderbilt (shout-out to Paige Buhl, Bailey Jenkins Stults, Courtney Osborne & Heather Akers among others who went above and beyond the call of duty), we again express our gratitude from the sincerest and deepest places of our hearts. While we’re saddened to have lost a daughter, we rejoice in having gained new family as a result…not to mention heightened levels of strength, perseverance, and endurance to take into the next God has for us.

While I’m on the ‘grateful heart’ train, I’d like to thank our parents and siblings, most notably Jan Ferguson for her cut-above support in being available despite several family storms this year, to Jessika Stephen Sanders for introducing Lys & I to Praying Through Ministries and inspiring network awareness, to our Gate fam for setting, service, and sustenance support, to Greg McRay, my colleagues in the Sales Department, and many others at Foundation Group who were intentional in following Juby’s journey, really anyone who directly reached out to encourage us the past year…we toast your kindness and generosity.

As for additional recollections, of course, the many miles and minutes logged in juggling home and NICU life stand out. The course and prep work involving Juby’s tracheostomy and homecoming, the teaming in learning new skills…all of it was a highlight even though the ultimate dream fell short. As I told one of my co-workers, Lys & I had a one-of-a-kind year during which we took our date nights to Vandy where we cried, prayed, and processed the crap out of life…where slowly but surely, investments into something much larger than ourselves and our circumstances began to take root.

On the home front, props are certainly warranted for Caeden, Everly & Milo for their flexibility amidst the audibles. With evolving rhythms almost a weekly reality, I take pride in their maturation and how they’ve adjusted to life at Greater Things Christian School (shout-out to Chris Harris). When the year started, Lys & I had hoped to enroll them under the same educational roof. Despite a surge of logistical gymnastics, we rejoice in not only reaching this goal but also having the privilege of being a part of an emerging community full of families like ours.

On the work front, the adversities, unlike the NICU, were felt between the lines and behind the screens. While outlooks and viewpoints have been compelled to modulate, I celebrate the space and place I’m in. As I’ve told several prospects, in terms of mission and colleague comradery, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more humble, unshakable core. In more ways than one, I’m in good company.

As for side hustles, Fry Freelance continued its momentum in guest writing for a host of entrepreneurs connected to Dan Cockerell’s keynote network. With seven active podcast series under our belt, we hope to continue bringing marketplace podcasts to life. In similar fashion, Lys & I look forward to another year of facilitating communications at our local fellowship and leading small group Zoom calls within Messenger Fellowship circles across the globe.

As for looking ahead, it’s hard to know how to feel about next year, let alone tomorrow. But I suppose that’s part of the Juby effect:

  • I fear not about tomorrow because today is a gift urging my focus to stay present.
  • I fear not about death because today I’m alive in Christ, my life in Him an invitation to embrace the fullness of joy and strength for body, soul, and spirit.
  • And I fear not about what man may do or say because today God’s victory in me is imminent and shattering the mold.

His uphold a response to every stronghold, I smile upon the journey that was, is, and is to come. For while many would consider our year a brutal stretch, we see it as a life-altering season with life-giving implications. Yes, losing Juby was a significant shock to the system, but given the reset trajectory, I can’t help but anticipate fresh leaps of faith with refreshed perspective as a man undone.

Which in a way, ties into the reason we gather here today…

For into chaos, Jesus came not only as an innocent babe but also as a Prince of Peace with a sword to awaken the priorities of His beloved.

Through all we experience, through all we endure…the glory of God can be known as we seek and press into Immanuel, relying on Him as He calibrates our intentions to what really matters. To everyone, young and old, meek and bold, while seismic life events can serve as holy catalysts, there’s more than enough reason to let a rightful celebration of Christmas wash over and encourage you to receive the gift and presence of Jesus anew.

And as we advance into greater unknowns in this decade like no other, it’s this Spirit-inspired head I choose to maintain as good tidings are embodied much like Scrooge on the heels of his healing. One way or another, we’re going to get there…one Juby empowered baby step at a time.

From our home to yours, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Selah.

Star Yores: The Turn of the Magi

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Scripture: Matthew 2:1-12 (AMP)

Imagine this.

You’re a renowned scholar of your time, a respected expert in astrological sciences, and in general, a maestro of subject matter.

With a mind geared towards the aerial, your intellect hits new light: A star, one you’ve never seen before far outside your scope. Your natural inclination is to pause and ponder. Could this be a confluence of planets, a comet, perhaps a supernova kissing our celestial cul-de-sac? Or is this an illusion, a unicorn moment too good to be true?

Whatever the case, there are no analogs. Whatever you’ve seen, whatever you’ve heard…for once it’s not good enough. And thus, a fire rages within to crack the mystery. but even more so to discern this urge to do something radical, something crazy.

The fork ever widening, you roll the dice and take the risk. Seeking out this angelic beam, you’re now on a camelback quest with your comrades. Advancing into unchartered territory, you quickly realize this isn’t Kansas anymore and your directions aren’t so simple as second star from the right and straight on ’til morning. Your convenient, carpeted life…now subject to the Euphrates and a Royal Road to true royalty.

Like a pre-disciple, you’ve said goodbye to home, not entirely sure if you’ll return. Risking it all to lay it all down, the gifts you bear are years from delivery but capture the source of your faith.

You’re going west, young man…with words of gratitude close at heart yet from far from optional. For this cryptic star, the one you’ll regard as of David, had once shined on a child in manger lay. The illuminating origin of eternal freedom the same origin as that still small voice compelling you to follow confidently.

But though the trek is long and arduous, despite future uncertainty, you embrace the joy set before you as a constant rising and a call to worship. One way or another, you will complete this crusade and discover a new depth of truth you never thought possible.

A once foreign light illuminating a stable place, now an inspiration for yours to walk from.

Fast-forward to present day and you are where you are. What a ride it’s been…

Unlike many, you may believe you have something to offer outside your realm of expertise, something to contribute outside your wheelhouse of benevolence. You may have that itch inside wanting to pour out in a fresh way – your modern-day equivalent of frankincense or myrrh on standby.

However, like many, you may be waiting for a catalyst to surrender and sacrifice when in reality, the time is now to sojourn into deeper waters, to try a new course. Granted, I can only speak so far into anonymous situations. Yet, I know for me, as one who anticipates burning bushes that never come, I must be ready to render those focuses off-center and recognize the Spirit as “star power” capable of illuminating the way I’m to go.

Which brings me to my point for today: You may feel depleted and broken, perplexed and confused; you may be overwhelmed or overthinking.

Yet, regardless of your circumstances, if your 3:00 am restroom break is on the verge of turning into a brutally early wakeup call, guess what! That same star of wonder, the same star of night…is still alive and well today to guide you into whatever perfect light you need to walk in.

You see…for the magi, they lived for this. Even as they (literally) contemplated their next steps from illumination, the timely cost of multiple years and the emotional cost of social and occupational inconveniences didn’t deter them from making one of the most epic expeditions in the Roman era. Put another way, before the wise men could fathom the historical repercussions of their Messianic voyage, they had to first contest the ramifications of their surrender; hence, why as brilliant as they were, their greatest asset was not their wealth of knowledge and resources, but a corporate humility to recognize eternal prominence.

And in the hustle and bustle of the holidays upon us, that’s why I’m writing this – to implore holy inventory and discourage whatever annual defaults we’ve accepted to justify idleness and self-preservation. I can’t make sense of the pain my family and I feel right now. I can’t make sense of the pain you likewise may feel as we close out the year.

But for all I don’t know, what I do know is basic spiritual probability. Specifically, if my attention isn’t anchored to holy light, then chances are my call to mobility and a humble returning will be compromised.

Yes, I miss Juby, the times life felt more stable, even the opportunities I could have been truer to my faith. Yet, amidst the chaos, I remember that stable place 2,000 years ago and those who released their inhibitions to adore what matters most in all eternity. For all of us, may this truth be the centerpiece of any Christmas stirring as we approach 2023.

Selah.

Cover graphic creds: Wallpaper Cave

There & Back Again: The Gift and Call of Suffering

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So lately, I’ve been building my library, adding books to shelves in a quest to answer a timeless question:

Why do we suffer?

Yet, as I absorb Daniel Carrington and Philip Yancey, I’m curious if we should reconsider the inquiry as, ‘How should we suffer?’

For if suffering is a kingdom, a divine call, and the resilience guide to discovering God, then surely the way we endure merits discussion.

Perhaps you’re like me looking to mature through past and present challenges and hoping to think outward as opposed to inward. Either way, as we near the home stretch of 2022, these are the musings of yours truly…the emotional evolution of one still processing the passing of his youngest.

Sweet Jubilee…oh, how I miss you.

Granted, much has started to calibrate since my last post. The returns to certain norms are imminent. There have even been times I’ve wondered why I’m not more depressed than I am.

But at the core of it all, Lys and I feel like Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Frodo returning to the shire from Mordor. Remember what Frodo said when he returned to Bag End in ‘Return of the King‘?

“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on…when in your heart you begin to understand…there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend…some hurts that go too deep… that have taken hold.”

To me, this begs the question: What then can ‘untake’ that hold? How then should the heart resound, if not through soundless bites that in hardship can be the most beautiful expression of vulnerability?

Answers aside, the line resonates, a heart prick that has compelled me to relish the truth:

The author and perfector of my faith is the same author and perfector of my pain who from the beginning of time ordained it as a means for me to choose Him!

Like any day I’m alive, I’m taking hold of it as one made in His image. Like any hour I’m awake, I’m taking hold of it to press into His likeness. Just because my heart is healing, doesn’t mean I can’t partake in divine remedy, the sweetness of God’s Immanuel presence and the power of His strength piercing the darkness.

When I’m tempted to retreat, I remember the out I have to retreat into Jesus. And from there, I springboard into the dichotomy between the questions above…that the difference between “Why do we suffer” and “How should we suffer”, in purest form, is the asker of the latter knowing he is loved by God and is willing to trust in His purposes. That it is unfathomable love wrapped in mystery orchestrating the narrative of triumph and perspective rising from the depths.

Like Lys and I of late, you may feel like Frodo, called into adventures beyond your understanding, wishing the rings of adversity, be it disappointment or grief, hadn’t come to you. Yet, in those Moria moments, remember that’s when the Spirit finds and refreshes us as Gandalf did to Frodo:

“So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

Sure, the year of Jubilee may be over but as her name implies, the happy ever afters are only beginning. Accordingly, we celebrate our precious daughter Hebrews 12:1 style, knowing she’s not only part of a great cloud of witnesses but also co-inspiration stirring us to lay aside the weight of anguish clinging closely…

…her voice an echo to the Master urging us to run our race with endurance.

As for you, my friends, whatever your mission is, know to be overwhelmed is only human and often the evidence of doing something right. Why not then fuse some Hebrews 12:1-2 along with some Romans 8:28 and Galatians 6:9 into the questions you’re asking? Why not faint not…knowing God works all things, including our sufferings, for good and makes things new as words trustworthy and true (Revelation 21:5)? You don’t have to bear the weight of deciphering your circumstances. Rather, you can bear each other’s burdens delighting in the fact God has you going somewhere. Even if loss is incurred along the way, remember nothing can separate you from God’s love and the victory He has in store for you.

At the very least, take it from Jubilee. Her life was a gift but even more so her legacy. What keeps her Spirit alive is the same Spirit who in whispers:

  1. Reminds us He’s there because He’s been there and…
  2. Ignites us to see how discovering God through perseverance as the best way to journey through suffering.

In closing, I return to Yancey: “As we rely on God and trust His Spirit to mold us in His image, true hope takes shape within us, ‘a hope that does not disappoint.’ We can literally become better persons because of suffering. Pain, however meaningless it may seem at the time, can be transformed. Where is God when it hurts? He is in us—not in the things that hurt—helping to transform bad into good. We can safely say that God can bring good out of evil; we cannot say that God brings about the evil in hopes of producing good.”

Selah.

Cover photo creds: mckellen.com

Box & 1: How to Overcome Offense When You’re Labeled

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Finally! 🎶 At last! 🎶 Meteorological fall is here.

We’ve flipped a page, we’ve turned a corner…🎶 the dog days are over 🎶 … even if it’s mental placebo.

As always, so many words, so little time…I don’t even know how to fit it all in a single post. I will say for all you prayer warriors out there, Juby continues to improve one step at a time. It’s crazy to think a month ago, we almost lost her…again…but now, she’s stumping the sharpest minds Vandy has to offer. No question, your support and encouragement has been profoundly appreciated and will be rewarded with a more thorough August recap later this month.

For now, I want to talk about the box – arguably, the worst metaphysical place to be in and a dimension that takes a word (or thought) curse and places bias-based boundaries to it.

The box is nothing new. We’ve all experienced it one way or another…whether we’ve created it, extended it, believed in it, or even subjected people to it.

Relationally speaking, when we build a box, we often set the edges during first impressions, connect the lines during observed moments of strength and/or weakness, and fortify them in times of transparency. In most cases, the sum of subconscious, past experiences, and worldview drives our perception of others for better or for worse. Given most paradigms are subject to partiality, preferences, even prejudices, the biblical mandate to not exalt the thoughts of man above what God has said and ordained before the creation of the world makes sense (Isaiah 55:8-9, Romans 11:33, Ephesians 3:20-21).

Yet, as we all know, this is easier said than done…and after several difficult conversations this week, I can’t help but explore the topic.

‘Cause truth is: Not only do I feel boxed in right now, I feel convicted of my buy-in into it. Discussions rooted in burnout, confusion,and frustration yet fueled by a desire to do the right thing, to follow a Matthew 18 pathway…honestly, I don’t understand why they blow up sometimes especially when both sides involved are on the same team in more ways than one.

In recent days and weeks, I’ve heard my share of deception and bad takes…and they’ve reminded me of youthful days when I first discovered the box, the whispers and passive-aggressive jabs from high-school and collegiate peers. Of course, I also must admit, though seldom, I did the same mainly out of self-perseveration, false comfort, and at times, retaliation…all in the pathetic name of being able to sleep at night.

Whatever the case, I was just a kid then…but now as a professional adult, I’m dumbfounded to its continuation. When good people are committed to humbling you in wrong ways, leaking their insecurities through false narratives concocted just to ensure you don’t think highly of yourself…I’d be lyin’ if I said I understood the move, the angle, and the justification why anyone would think this is wise, let alone constructive.

Still, in this awareness, I recognize the humility requirement and how I must own my proneness to reciprocation. Even in my quest to understand feedback and diagnosis, to make peace, to live in harmony as far as it be with me, I must confess my imperfections.

I need Jesus just as much as someone who doesn’t yet know Him…because at the end of the day, I’m still a sinner in daily need of grace.

I don’t view myself or pursue excellence with a ‘greater than’ lens on account of faith. Rather, I submit myself to a calling of excellence rooted in faith…and commit my effort, service, and attitude accordingly. No ego, self-love or manipulation. Simply learning to be like Jesus learning the ropes of life in an evolving culture with evolving expectations.

My charges are simple:

1. Don’t put people or yourself in a box.
2. To those God has entrusted in your care, in your walks of life, make room to listen and understand.
3. Be proactive and ready to put your preconceived notions on pause.
4. Don’t go out of your way to passively subdue and/or withhold a good thing in the name of wanting to be right.
5. Communicate clearly the ‘why’ behind your ‘what’.
6. If you catch others not recognizing growth and maturity, don’t take offense. Rather take heart knowing God understands infinitely beyond the limitations of man.
7. As needed, in circumstances marked by misunderstanding, negligence, and insensitivity/ingratitude, pray God illuminates the blind spots on both sides, not just one.

By employing this list, you not only abide in humility and your true identity in Christ…but also posture your perspective to know what is of God and what isn’t.

Even if people inadvertently crack the foundation of your peace by not meeting you halfway on the road to reconciliation, don’t react, don’t manufacture a happy ending…just breathe, let go the offense, and keep going knowing you’re known.

The Father gets you, is there for you, and will never forsake you. ‘Tis all the more reason why you often hear me, ‘You got this…even when you think you don’t.’

Selah.

Cover photo creds: Civil Service World

The Struggle is Kneel: Why Surrender is Hard [at it’s] Core (Part 1)

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So lately, I’ve been pondering the challenges of juggling family, vocational, and liturgical responsibilities. After all, my greatest passion is helping marketplace leaders balance the sacred and secular while discovering their influence within their spiritual gift mix.

However, if I’m being straight-up honest, I’m finding this calling, at least in recent months, more difficult than I could have imagined. In fewer words, I could cite career adjustments and pandemic troubleshootings in 2020 as well as the Jubilee journey kickoff in 2021 as justifiable narratives. But this wouldn’t scratch the itch of what lies beneath – the insecurities in the closet, the anxieties swept under the rug, and the fears at bay yet preserved in toleration, just to name a few.

Perhaps time will eventually permit me to unpack this series in greater detail. For now, what I will say is as we hit new strides in an unsettling world, let’s not empower the past by assuming God can’t do a new thing in familiar settings.

For some of you, this is not a struggle, but to me, this can be tough. In fact, I would submit the wrestling, while worth it from a perseverance perspective, is ironic: As we grow through life, as we war through the ups and downs, so do our laundry lists grow of what we wish we could have done differently.

I look at 20-25 and I see a double-minded Christian meandering like a chicken with his head cut off. I look at 26-32, as one who aligned but took too much personally and could have been a more consistent leader. And now after years of counseling and spot-start ministerial assignments, I’m ready to get back into the game. The problem is my hands are tied primarily by what I can’t control…

…and that’s okay.

What’s not okay is the propensity I sometimes fall prey to: Defining relationships by emotional impressions.

By this, I’m referencing the practice of perceiving a person through the greatest internal reaction they’ve elicited be a single moment or repeated pattern. For instance, within a single connection, there may be nine positive interactions; however, if the tenth provokes a strong negative response (seen or unseen), we may taint the entire association to the point of withdrawal.

Again, the issue with this mindset ties to our natural minds. Without holy parameters and godly beliefs, we are almost always going to scale the magnitude of these moments incorrectly. Not to mention if we’re not sensitive to the Spirit to surrender at the point of awareness, that snowball is only going to get bigger.

As I’ve been asking myself…

…what will it take to fully surrender certain disappointments and discouragements?

If I’m waiting on divine intervention in the form of a burning bush, I’m not only likely going to miss opportunities to serve but also moments to show [and grow] up where overcoming can happen.

If this sounds blunt, know it comes as one pointing the finger at himself. Clearly, this is a habit I need to mature in as the first half of 2022 concludes.

Granted, I know I’m not alone and if anyone needs to hear this, I hope this prompts a boost for you to stay the course, forgive past offenses, and deflect the lies of the enemy. As much as we’re curious to know what deceptions other people are plagued by, especially as they pertain to us, dare to not hold your destiny hostage. Instead, find yourself in Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV) and focus on the next best step.

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

As C.S. Lewis once said…

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

Stay tuned next time when I’ll take a deeper dive into how we can integrate surrender into our quiet times, fuse it with our curiosity, and apply it relationally. Until then, I pray Jeremiah 10:23 over you in the sense God guides you to His heart to direct your steps. In all you say and do, remember the way of man is not in himself but in acknowledging and knowing God. Why not draw near, be still, and be at peace as you lean into His highest?

Selah.

Cover photo creds: iStock