Category: Seasonal

Fall Forward: A Posture for This Season

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It’s been a weird month. One of those in which much could be said but…

For Lys and I, we’re exiting a pronounced stretch of remembrance. By now, each year feels more like clockwork with a grief uptick during the dog days only to lift by the fall equinox. Even now, I sense the heaviness dissipating. Lord knows He’s given me and my family plenty of reason to keep going.

Yet, taking a corporate temperature, I can’t help but wonder if our present peace is set to stun mode. Restless nights have picked up for some, for others, the fatigue of the unknown (i.e. what to do next, how to respond now, etc.). Of course, there are those, who may be weary with their former toil. Probably a combination of ‘all of the above’, if we’re perfectly honest.

I know for me, there’s been much I’ve needed to release of late – the weight of carrying past positives into the present, the hope of connection and reconciliation in certain situations, the right for my right calls to be seen. Sometimes, it’s hard to make sense of the burdens we desperately want to flush out. Thankfully, as complex as our knots may be, the opportunity to surrender them is anything but.

Take last Tuesday for instance. Sitting on my front step, I started to go down a familiar rabbit hole, the one in which I try to make sense of where I’ve been and where I’m going. But unlike other episodes, I hit a point of exhale earlier in the process. Maybe it was the lower humidity and refreshing air mass. Perhaps I was giddy from just setting up some fall decor. Either way, I looked down the street from my porch on a hill and with what seemed like misplaced contentment, started to empty myself in the moment.

Then, after a few minutes, something bizarre happened: I began to shiver…in 75 degrees, calm winds, and a setting sun to my right. Suddenly, I needed a second layer and a flip to 1 Corinthians 2. With disrupted thermodynamics, I dug in.

In his letter, Paul confirms his posture in v. 2-3 (AMP):

“I made the decision to know nothing [to forego philosophical or theological discussions regarding inconsequential things and opinions while] among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified [and the meaning of His redemptive, substitutionary death and His resurrection]. I came to you in weakness, fear, and great trembling. And my message…[was] not in persuasive words of clever rhetoric but delivered in demonstration of the Spirit operating through me and of His power stirring the minds…so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God.”

Relating and resonating, I kept on.

“For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him? So also no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know and understand the wonderful things freely given to us by God. We also speak of these things, not in words taught or supplied by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining and interpreting spiritual thoughts with spiritual words for those being guided by the Holy Spirit” (v. 11-13, AMP).

Now, I’m not the savviest theologian; however, I’m confident when in doubt, in trouble, and/or in pain, the best response is to invite God in by making room for the Cross. In doing this, we position ourselves to be overwhelmed by the power of the Spirit, a move we cannot conjure or manufacture. Far too often, we’re consumed by our own capacities when we must remember there’s no capacity for what matters without the Spirit. We may crave daily bread, but we cannot receive it without pure vertical reliance in which we declare our substitutions, replacing worldly guesses and opinions with God’s Word. Every day, we must be mindful of the exchanges we’re called to make, especially if we long to process through clear channels; hence, why this chapter is so enriching. By God’s Spirit, the depth we were designed with has access, not just a channel but an invitation to know what He’s thinking, at least bits and pieces.

My encouragement to you, friends: Let the Spirit bridge the Cross’ wake to your present circumstances and fall forward. As challenging as your immediate may be, simplicity can still be found in moments of surrender. For in the power of God’s Spirit, we can know Christ and Christ crucified more intimately as we breathe, live, move, and have our being (Acts 17:28). The more we mature in this mindset, the more we will experience this as a sweet reality from our personal walks to corporate communions.

As for what keeps us from standing together, praying with/for one another, and sharing with one another, may we be willing to put them all on the altar as we lay down our dreams, agendas, weapons, all the way down to our revisionist fantasies. In all that we do, may we embrace and rediscover the joy of holy dependency.

After all, a new season dawns. May it be one in which we let go and let God all the more.

Graphic creds: Shutterstock

Road to Healing: Why Even in Pain, There’s Still Jubilee

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It’s been three years to the day since Juju’s death.

For better and worse, Lys and I haven’t been the same since that fateful day. While grief intensity has lessened, life still feels like a tightrope. One false step and we’re praying for a safety net, just trying to survive – like when Juju was alive only without the hope of tomorrow. If only I were better at patience, maybe this whole waiting thing would be easier.

As Juju proved during her NICU tenure, progression and regression aren’t always mutually exclusive. At times within her fragile body, one element was improving while another was degrading. Her recovery and, at times, lack thereof, was anything but a linear wave. Like life itself, her journey was a winding roller coaster with unexpected turns and unprecedented breakthroughs. Her butterfly tattoo on my heart, not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and consider the glory of what she constantly experiences.

Yet, though the tears have remained mostly at bay the past year, there’s still a temptation to anger. God, why didn’t you somehow, someway cap her suffering? If you knew she was going to barely make it past a year, why defer the inevitable?

In most cases, I can convert those ‘whys’ into ‘look what God did’ and carry on. Where I stumble is the next level down: God, why aren’t people more naturally geared towards the broken-hearted? Why does the silence sometimes increase when it needs to decrease? In the shadows, you were there after Juju’s death. What about those who may not even be able to find you at all? What about them?

These questions have been raised before, and they’ll be raised again. Until the answers come, I, along with the rest of us, must settle in Christ (1 Peter 5:10; Colossians 2:6-7). For those who have lost a child, we don’t have any other option. At day’s end, everyone has a call to embrace their suffering and ditch their baggage. No exceptions. I know for me, sometimes I get into trouble tolerating the baggage while trying to ditch the suffering in a quest to find meaning in pain; however, in times of reset, I catch myself in the striving and commit my ways to God whether I feel like it. It’s hard as heck, don’t get me wrong. I just know as low as I feel sometimes, I’m only hindering my perspective when I punt prayer and vertical reliance.

I love how Paul opens Colossians 3:1: “Therefore if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.”

For starters, the chapter unpacks our ‘new self’ identity as a garment we can wear regardless of the day. But even more promising, we’re reminded in the intro how we’ve been raised with Christ to a new life, sharing in His resurrection from the dead. In a weird way, this hits home even more so these days. Even when I feel dead on the inside, somehow, I know I’m that much closer to the type of life I crave. Among all the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God is also my daughter. Your son. His grandson. Her granddaughter. Their mother, their father, our friend, etc.

The way God’s lap is designed, there is always a comfort and rest to draw from, even if it’s simply His presence and nothing more.

The problem is we’re not often content with the safety of God’s nearness because we’re dissatisfied with the security of it. Our kid passed away, so we doubt if God is who says He is. If God is a God of love, then why didn’t His sovereignty meet my faith in the middle? If God has the capability, why didn’t His power take pity on a soul that could have done wonders for Him if given the opportunity?

While I’m not condoning this as the correct posture to take, admittingly, this is a popular contention bereaved parents wrestle through. We desire the improbable; we believe in the impossible. We just wish it could have looked a certain way. And that’s okay…assuming we regularly surrender our grief, anxiety, fear, and anger. As Juju reminds us, there’s beauty to be found in the ashes of our sorrow, especially when we reframe our perspective to see a life well fought as an altar pointing people to Jesus. Our lives may always sound like a sad song, but that doesn’t mean what other people hear is the same tenor.

Trust me, life has been brutal, dare I say, savage, this decade. Despite the positive turn in recent years, my debates with God are still on the regular.

Dear Lord, thank you for what you did during Juju’s life and gifting my family with this incredible light, this testimony unfolding, but surely you know what it’s like to grieve. You know what it’s like to be separated from your only begotten Son. If you’re stripping me of anything my life could cling to other than you, so be it. I don’t have to know how you’re exalted in those moments as long you’re exalted at all. And with a daughter dancing in your courts, I dare not lose sight of the new life I have in Christ, knowing that’s exactly what she has.

For all you readers and co-sufferers out there, ask yourself: Will I be too stubborn in my grief to don new garments of praise? To serve and think within new wineskins? Or am I too scared to endure because I don’t want God to let me down again? I know for me, I don’t have the margin, nor do I want to give that question room to manifest. Thus, I will keep looking up and pressing on one step at a time, with Juju’s rays forever on the horizon. The victory’s been won. Let’s choose to walk it in. God, show us the way…

Selah.

Fall Down 7, Get Up 8: A SOAP Bible Study on Proverbs 24

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Scripture: Proverbs 24:16 – “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.”

Prelude: Recently, I was reminded of a late 2000s NBA commercial in which Dwyane Wade collapses to the parquet multiple times over the course of his career. After a montage of tumbles, a new series unfolds in which he rises from each fall before the screen goes to black… 

Coincidently, this connects to a separate memory last decade. Remember the 2017 NAACP Image Awards when Denzel Washington delivered one of his most iconic speeches? 

“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” 

…still gives me chills to this day.

Understandably, many cite this line as a Japanese proverb with a credit to celebrity enlightenment; however, in reality, its true source is the Word of God; hence, this SOAP Bible study in which we will dissect the contrast in greater detail.

As always, let’s dive in…

Observations: In a vacuum, this verse compares the resilience of the righteous to the cowardice of the wicked. Both sides face setbacks and challenges, but only one perseveres through them. While some assume this verse suggests adversity comes to the unwise, the reality is that calamity finds all of us at one point or another. The key is how we respond and endure the way God intended. 

As mentioned in a recent post, even good people fail sometimes, especially as they face new challenges and situations beyond their ability to handle. Humility applied, we must understand these circumstances are not the product of poor character, but a part of God’s plan to develop it. In what we say and do, are we willing to rely on God’s guidance in the fullness of faith and integrity? If not, we will inevitably succumb to stubbornness and disbelief as the trials undo us.

Symbolically, the number seven is used here to emphasize completion and perfection, as God’s grace empowers the righteous to suffer through their failures. Granted, man, in his finiteness, may be ‘one and done’ on certain matters; however, since God sees the entire picture, we can trust that in HIs faithfulness, He will give us multiple opportunities to clear our hurdles. How sweet it is knowing we can live from victory as we wrestle with and for God!

Following v. 16, we find a subsequent call in v. 17-18:

“Do not rejoice when your enemy falls and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the Lord see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him.”

As people redeemed by faith through the Cross, this charge cannot be understated. While our flesh may snicker at karma and the kind of justice that enhances our ego, we must never rejoice when others fall and can’t get up. If anything, we should intercede and consider our options to help. Even if we can’t directly intervene, we can pray for a person whose peace is in peril and build a broken brother up from a place of boundary.

Applications: Although chaos and conflict are unavoidable in this life, God is the one true constant through it all. When tough times come, we can rest knowing there’s a vertical response with our name on it. To those feeling God is leading you through a desert or wilderness right now, remember how God used Joseph in the Old Testament (Genesis 39) and Paul in the New Testament (2 Corinthians 1:8-10). You may feel lost in the hole or bind you’re currently in, but this could be part of a grander setup in which God is equipping your heart to reach a promise and purpose He has ordained for you. 

Bottom line: God never fails and has the power to restore our confidence and redeem our failures. Although setbacks will come, as long as we fix our eyes on Jesus and follow His lead one step at a time, God will not only forgive us but also bring us to completion according to His Word (Philippians 1:6). Why not let Him be the fall back you crave when all hope seems lost? 

Prayer:

“God, we turn and align to you in this moment. We thank you for being a merciful, faithful God in whom we can trust. Father, as I write this, I think about those in dry valleys, surrounded by bones, needing a spark. As men and women fallen in sin, we confess our need for a Savior, who through His strength and sovereignty, provides the tools and opportunities necessary to rise above the obstacles of life. For those wresting in guilt and shame, for those who feel defeated for not having passed a specific test, we speak peace, grace, truth, and love to their hearts and minds today. May they find you in the wake of their desperation, for others, in the midst of their course-correcting. In our frailty, we admit our limited perspective, our tendency to get way ahead or woefully behind you. Though the ways to faith derailment are many, we choose to lean on your understanding, to follow the prompting of your Holy Spirit, and to press into you with all that is within us. Bless your holy name. Come alive within us. Help us not to give up and give in but as Psalm 57:1 says, lead us from failure’s shadow in and under the shadow of your wings. Amen.“

Cover graphic creds: Redbubble

Beauty in Chaos: The Joy of Faith in Crisis

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A fresh cut from Juju’s book…

We’re a people designed to hope, for hope. Take hope away and what are you left with? Depression, anxiety, disorder, death? How about complacency within our anguish yielding a life without a pulse, left to its own devices? Sounds bleak, right?

Sometimes, I wonder why people can’t comprehend the source of their innate capabilities and wirings. Even in my best attempts to exude compassion, I occasionally scratch my head, curious as to how man thinks he can find inspiration without looking up and humbly breaking. As chaos compels, the initial beauty in crisis is the prioritization and focus it compels our attention to what truly matters. But there has to be more than such wholistic reconfiguration, specifically an alignment between what fuels and drives us.

During my time in the NICU, I experienced firsthand how God is faithful in meeting us in our darkest places. Amidst the despair around me, I learned to a higher degree how God doesn’t wait aimlessly from the sidelines to engage but eagerly pursues us. The intentionality behind this mode of love as received in suffering has transcendent repercussions. For one thing…

Relying on God not only strengthens our sensitivity to His nearness but also stirs us to scale our suffering to the point we feel empowered to help others keep going.

Oftentimes, in pressure-cooker situations, life moves fast and we miss God and divine opportunities on account of our surviving. Understandably, many surf the wave of sorrow simply trying to ride it without crashing and burning. Yet, if we want to feel like we’re doing more than just keeping our head above the water, we must embrace our response to setbacks as a central way to witness the heart of the Gospel.

The truth is, my dream for anyone, regardless of faith, philosophy, and orientation, is to embrace God’s love, especially in the context of vertical reliance. Yes, community and self-care are vital as part of the endurance equation. Lord knows there are enough TikToks and Shorts concerning the topics. But by itself, all the content in the world cannot produce the perseverance that leads to character that leads to hope. A key testament to our flesh is the desire we have for lookaheads, which can be innocent enough; however, if we value change and breakthrough, we must perceive look-ups as their pre-requisite. After all, if what we long for is not something we can depend on for life, goodness, or the reproduction of anything worthwhile, then it must be contained within boundaries and moderation. Frankly, I don’t want my trust to be based on what is conditional and fleeting; granted, I’ve exhausted the alternatives enough to know the reason I live is the core of anything I could ever need or want.

But to those who haven’t checked down accordingly, the believer is most like Jesus when grace is contagious as much as it is evident. As Juju helped me realize, I’m not fully salted if I’m not putting myself in a position to be regularly seasoned. Why did Lys and I encounter a faith boost during the 2021-22 campaign? In a few words, because our trips to the faucet were far more frequent! So even as we struggled, our thirst was quenched more regularly than ever before. Consequently, we recognized the importance of overflow and how powerful it is when we’re looking up along the way.

Whether or not you can relate directly is secondary to the same God who will surely empower, equip, and encourage you to receive from Him as you experience Him during life’s greatest challenges. For “He knows the way that [you should] take; when He has tested [you], [you] shall come out like gold. [Your] foot held fast to his steps [because you did not turn] aside.” ~ Job 23:10-11 (ESV)

Selah.

Cover photo creds: LinkedIn

Year in Review: A Look Back at 2024

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Remember Charles Dicken’s epic opening in “A Tale of Two Cities”?

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

Back in the day, I used to read these clauses as ‘either/or’, as if you could only be on one side of the ledger.

But lately, my interpretation has evolved to something more in line with Shannon Alder:

“Sometimes the best and worst times of your life can coincide. It is a talent of the soul to discover the joy in pain—-thinking of moments you long for, and knowing you’ll never have them again. The beautiful ghosts of our past haunt us, and yet we still can’t decide if the pain they caused us outweighs the tender moments when they touched our soul. This is the irony of love.”

Indeed, 2024, like any year, has featured its share of ups and downs, the rollercoaster largely attributable to family dynamics and the neurodivergences we daily troubleshoot. 

Yet, unlike last year, I’ve rediscovered my smile again, and as a vintage Mastercard commercial will tell you, you can’t put a price tag on that. As my prior Year in Review update attests, 2023 was one of the worst years I experienced, not only for me but for Lys and the rest of the family. Stuck in post-Juju grief, financial hardship, desperate for new work, there were many discouraging narratives outside our control. But twelve months later, I’m happy to say the landscape has changed dramatically, and with it, our perspective and outlook.

Of note, my first year at Mercy Multiplied was a major highlight. Heading into the year, I didn’t know how I would adjust to an Accounting Manager role after a four-year stint as a Client Support Manager; however, as I would soon find, the environment, training, and teaming would provide plenty of stability and balance. While much more could be said, the skinny is the faithfulness of God. By His grace, He has not only fused the best from past pitstops, but has also networked a foundation from which I’ve been able to apply lessons learned from those eras. Even in a high transition/turnover year, I’ve felt more anchored during the 9-5 as new skills, connections, and opportunities have accrued. Consequently, I head into 2025 with more occupational momentum and excitement than anticipated. 

On the home front, the most notable occurrence took place on February 13, 2024, on which my son, Milo, survived a brutal attack from our neighbor’s dog. Emotionally and physically shredded, Milo recovered quickly during the spring, though we continue to devote many hours to his healing. In light of Milo’s autistic diagnosis following the incident, his progress has included weekly occupational, feeding, and trauma therapies. As we navigate legal hurdles, we’ve also been investing in life wellness activities for Caeden and Everly as they advance in their own grief journeys. Needless to say, much of life this year has centered on restoration, though we rejoice in God’s sovereignty and knowing Satan’s intent to destroy our family has backfired tremendously.

In terms of memorable moments, our family trip to California in mid-May proved to be a horizon-broadening experience for the kids. Honoring the late Reverend Dennis Shuey in our travels, we soaked up the sun from Monterey to San Jose during our 8-day voyage. While the inspiration behind the trek was dampening, our time in the Golden State allowed for some much-needed family bonding and quality time. 

Weather-wise, there were two instances worthy of mention:

  1. Winter Storm Heather (January 14-15, 2024) – This event not only shattered expectations but was verified as a top three snow event dating back to the 1995-96 winter. Stuck at home for over a week, the eight consecutive 1+” snow depth streak at BNA was the longest since January 1978. The refreezing of melted snow kept sledding conditions ideal during much of this time. I’ll let the time lapses and highlights below take it from there…

2. Columbia Tornado (May 8, 2024) – While snow has a special place in my heart, the top meteorological moment of the year was my Columbia storm chase on May 8, during which I confronted the mesocyclone that produced a killer tornado just a mile from my location. Tracking on a whim, the tornado was the second I successfully intercepted. Unfortunately, 67 year-old, Cheryl Lovett lost her life when the tornado struck her home on Bear Creek Pike.

Spiritually speaking, 2024 came full circle for Caeden, who expressed a desire to be baptized in January before taking the plunge on September 29, 2024.

Church-wise, we continue to attend and serve at The Gate Church. As Communication Directors, Lys and I are eager to see what the new year brings with new pastoral care initiatives in motion.

Regarding our While We’re Waiting small group, Lys and I continue to ‘grassroot’ a local cohort. Since June, we’ve partnered with two on-air ministries, Christian Missionary Radio and 104.9 The Gospel, in sharing our heart behind the community. With a rejuvenated passion to reach bereaved parents, we hope to facilitate greater healing within our group so onsite and virtual ministry can coincide. No question, planting this tribe of God’s presence has been a breath of fresh air. 

In other news, Fry Freelance has expanded its wings again with new podcasting projects and two new books under construction. Even as AI invades more digital and entrepreneurial space, we hope to keep up with the times while staying true to our brand. Don’t be surprised if the His Girl Fryday website and name go under construction in 2025 after a 10,000 hit-year. As these endeavors fill in the lines, Lys and I are also hoping to mature our homeschooling rhythm in tandem with the wonderful people and curriculum of Arrows Academy. Since our January enrollment, they have provided a safe learning space for Caeden, Everly, and Milo. The three even got to be in their first school production when they were cast as spiders in Charlotte’s Web!

As for smiley Aili, well, she continues to amaze us with her growth and cunning. The epitome of rainbow baby, she’s been a mellow glue binding the family since her arrival last July. We celebrate not only her health and development but also her upbeat and centralizing energy.

Overall, while there were setbacks in 2024, they pale compared to the rebounding narratives we find ourselves in. After the third worst year of the century last year, 2024 wraps up as the best since 2016 and one of the best start-to-finish years since graduating college. Whether next year features another two steps forward, we know having been through the wringer in recent years how God works out all things for His glory and good. So it is with our prayers for you and your family that you endure and press forward in His name with hope and expectancy fully attached.

To you and yours, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

~ Cameron, Lyssah, Caeden, Every, Milo, Jubilee, and Aili Fry

Cover photo creds: NWS-Nashville