Year in Review: A Look Back at 2016

January 2, 2017January 2, 2017Leave a comment

As 2016 comes to a close, Lyssah & I sit down and reflect on the year that was…

When you think back on 2016, what immediately comes to mind?

CF: There are two answers to this question: The first and most obvious is Caeden. His arrival into the world was by far the greatest moment of the year. The second and not as obvious is the word, ‘horizon’, as in there’s much change on the horizon. In short, I believe the events of 2016 were foundation-laying for the season to come.

LF: The first thing I think about is Caeden being born. That moment set the stage for 2016 as a whole given the year of laboring it’s been. In previous years, certain things came easy. This year everything has had a learning curve. Everything from pushing through the pain and discomfort of labor to pushing through my work when I really wanted to be home with Caeden, pushing through and learning new skills that have enabled me to be start my own side business, pushing through church/bivocational challenges, etc. Basically, there’s been a whole lot of pushing this year.

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What were some of the highlights/defining moments?

CF: When I consider the year’s defining moments, I can’t help but think 2016 was really two years in one. As mentioned, the highlight of all ‘Fry-lights’ (sorry, couldn’t resist 😉 was January 7 when Caeden was born. Progressing chronologically, I’d say Winter Storm Jonas (January 22), moving into our new home (February 27), the Messenger Fellowship Summit in Orlando (March 14-16), the #LoveAkron Tour (June 22-26), #LoveMexico (July 15-24), our west coast adventures (September 10-17), and completing my first devotional all rank up there. After a grounded 2015, we definitely got away a lot more this year. Pretty remarkable considering we became new parents only a week into the new year…

LF: Not to sound like a broken record, but our son being born…and finding out I’m stronger than I once thought through the labor process. I feel like I definitely reached the end of myself in August and the Lord was very faithful to give me greater strength to keep going. I feel like landing my first virtual assistant client was pretty defining as well…not to mention reaching the three and five year marks in our marriage and ministry together respectively. I guess a lot of things hit a culmination point this year.

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How would you compare this year of marriage to the first few?

CF: I definitely think major life changes have compelled us to be more proactive in being on the same page emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. While I was tempted to post this under ‘highlights’, I’d say the relational high point of 2016 was the overall sense of struggling and thriving together. As amplified as 2015 was, 2016 was even more challenging in the sense the highs felt higher and the lows felt lower. Yet, all in all, what we experienced this year was in large part a continuation of what we experienced in 2015 with God tightening us together through stretching.

LF: I think some stuff has been easier and some stuff has been harder because now there’s a whole new dynamic. We’re not just married; we’re married parents. So we’ve had to be much more intentional staying connected.

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What lesson from 2016 are you eager to apply in 2017?

CF: A couple lessons stand out. First off, even in the darkest trials, God’s voice is just as clear if we choose to press into him. Second, God’s grace is often the change he initiates outside our control. Thirdly, success isn’t a measurable concept. As Winston Churchill once said, “success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” And it’s this courage when applied to prayer that enables us to persevere to the next level.

LF: I’d say not trying to be the one to take care of everything. I have a natural proclivity to independence and trying to take care of myself. But now as a wife and mom, I’ve learned I need to lay that burden down since there’s so much outside my control. I have to allow myself be free from feeling like I’m responsible for everybody and everything.

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What do you hope you’ll be saying at this time next year?

CF: For some reason, that’s a hard one this go-around. I imagine some derivative of: “We made it through and we didn’t quit.”

LF: “We’ve made it! We’re debt-free! I’m home with my son and able to support my husband the way I Want to. We’re free!”
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Bye, [Bye]Vocational

October 28, 2016October 28, 20161 Comment

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it’s not easy marrying marketplace and ministry.

After all, when you consider secular expectations, the challenge of availability matching flexibility, how most church leadership models are structured…it can be tough-sleddin’.

Now, I’m not a church consultant or ministry life coach; however, in my brief ministerial experience, I’ve come to realize while tent-making is often praised behind the pulpit in an evangelism context, it’s rarely incorporated to the fullest in a leadership context.

Case and point: I work full-time hours (7:00-3:30 pm) for TDOT Monday through Friday, where at the start of each day, I take the day’s game script, stack it against my church load, and do what I can accordingly for both. For instance, on slower days I create youth discipleship content, plan events, design social media promotions, and field church-related correspondence on my breaks, whereas on busier days, I keep a running ‘to-do’ list to better tackle my gameplan after hours.

The problem is: whether or not my day at work is busy/productive, I still miss out on the life that happens at church (i.e. staff meetings, luncheons, offsite special events, etc.) during my shift.

Granted, I do have supervisors who meet with me on a quarterly basis to catch me up to speed with important information. Yet, while the communicational challenges can be frustrating, it’s the communal setbacks that offer the greatest potential for discouragement.

So while having flex or contractual hours would be ideal, I know in seasons like the one I’m in, I can only abide in what I can control, confront what I can’t, and trust God in both. Still…this doesn’t mean the divide is easy.

On one hand, I’m proud to represent the Gospel in a taxing work environment, to mature in my reliance upon God when I find my own strength to be nothing but weakness. On the other, I’m often downcast considering a) it’s hard to justify why I work where I do¹ and b) to not experience deeper community due to a job I can’t stand on my own strength is a bitter pill to swallow.

So when it comes to the idea of a bye-vocational (i.e. leaving one job to fully pursue the other) life in place of a bivocational one, I’d be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t intrigued considering the struggle to put forth full-time effort in part-time hours is [super] real…not to mention I’m the first Fry male in three generations to not know what full-time ministry life tastes like.

*Sigh*

I guess what I’m trying to say is: it’s hard being bivocational when the call itself seems to rob you of relationship. ‘Cause while many think bivocational ministry is all about tackling two different jobs, truth is: it’s just as much about influencing community and inspiring culture change as it is achieving excellence. Thus, how we cope when we feel our ‘spread out’ lifestyle is diluting our impact is worth discussion.

Of course, you can count on me to drill down on this in future posts, but for now, let me just say: for those of you working multiple gigs striving to keep joy afloat, understand you carry difference-making potential inside you…and that potential is not only going to come to fruition in the territory God has given you to tend, but is also never contingent on what you can’t control. Again, that’s the beauty of trusting God. Whenever we reach an end of the line, God grants us the slack to press on. Whenever we reach an unscalable wall, God equips us to ascend it. And whenever we’re overcome by a particular lacking, God meets us in our midst, fills us, and goes before us to make a way (Isaiah 43:16-19).

Yeah, I get how hard it can be craving community and passion outlets in the arid seasons of life, but remember God specializes in showing His power in hopeless situations. So if you’re reading this today wishing you could swap out a bye-vocational life in place of a bivocational one, I encourage you: allow God to fill up your empty canteen with encouragement and fresh perspective. ‘Cause I submit: where you are now is not by mistake, but by design and by grace.

Think of it this way: If you’re thirsty, what sense does it make to cut your water bottle in half when you could simply remove the cap and fill it to the brim?

Pretty obvious, right?

Yet, how many of you reading this are essentially doing the same thing by denying yourself full-fillment as a result of wanting the ‘bye’, not the ‘bi’?

If you can relate, I encourage you: stop overfocusing on what you wish could be different in your life and embrace the fact God has you just where He wants you. Don’t fantasize about what it’d be like to customize your life. Instead, take joy in trusting the Lord’s lead and take courage in pushing through to the good stuff that’s coming (see Isaiah 58:11).

While I’m tempted to go on, I’m goin’ to push ‘pause’ for now and instead bid adieu with some parting questions:

1) What do you need to be filled with today?
2) What is capping the ‘containers’ God has placed you in?
3) Will you remove those caps and allow God to fill you up?

I’ll just let the mic drop there…

Footnotes

in light of how I was created

Cover photo creds: ThomRainer.com

3 Truths for When You Don’t Get the Job

August 4, 2016August 5, 2016Leave a comment

Have you ever been minutes away from a peaceful night sleep only to be shell shocked by a last second ‘bad news’ barrage?

If you answered, ‘yes’, welcome to the story of my life last Tuesday.

Before I continue, for those who’ve been following our story the past few years, you’ve probably noticed how ‘perseverance in challenging work environments’ has been a prevalent theme; however, today…I’m going to talk about the other side of the coin (i.e. the roller coaster ride that is “job hunting”).

Now, I’ll be honest: I’m not a renowned expert in “job hunting”. In fact, since I landed at TDOT in April 2012, I’ve only been able to engage the search for eight months with hiatuses attributable to Master’s work and recent life changes¹.

But while I may not be the greatest career transition consultant, what I can say is: such a road, while disappointing at times, can be rewarding if we remain steadfast in patience and determination.

Yet, for many of us, it bears discussion how to cope with the discouragement that comes when denials and ‘no calls’ start to accumulate…

…which finally brings me to Tuesday night.

So there I am sitting in my bed when a mental alarm reminds me to check a certain well-known Christian company’s ‘current openings’ page. By this point, it had been a little over two months since I applied to (what appeared to be) the most exciting position I’ve come across in a while. I’m talking about the prospect of working as a…

Youth. Ministry. Specialist.

Just let that sink in for a bit, consider my night gig, and then let it sink down even more.

‘Cause truth is: this had me written all over it…like ‘magnum 5.3 mm, chisel trip, permanent sharpie ink’ written.

I mean…the very thought of me not receiving a phone call, an e-mail…anything…didn’t even cross my mind back when I was carefully packaging my writing sample, résumé, references, and questionnaire.

But alas…’tis what happened.

Thus, as you can imagine, my mind couldn’t help but wonder…

…what did my references say…?

…what are my credentials lacking…?

…is it because I’m still involved in youth ministry…?

…is it because I’m not affiliated with sou…(cough)…a certain denomination²?

Seriously…I’ve been involved in youth ministry for eight years…pastoring the last five. Forget the fact I have the drive and required skills to succeed. I’m a young voice with fresh, ‘2016 perspective’ on where youth ministry is in America these days. Why not take a flyer on this alone?

Granted, I still have no clue how many applicants applied…or if the job simply went off the radar without any notification.

All I know is for a few dark moments, I felt ‘struck out’ knowing a golden opportunity was now nothing more than an expired dream of what could/should’ve been.

Nail in coffin, I softly whispered, ‘Lord, help me. This one is gonna hurt’ before graciously drifting off.

Flash forward to today…and I’m feelin’ better. A little sore…but at the same time, I know when you’re down, you can’t stay down. Fall down seven, get up eight. Such is the philosophy of our ‘carry on’ culture, right?

Yet I also know, with every hurt, there’s not only a way out, but a transition out. The difference being…a way implies direction, but transition implies process. Thus, it’s fair to ask ourselves, ‘How do we navigate the process of overcoming when the pain seems unbearable’?

Again, I don’t have all the answers. But based on recent experiences alone, I can confidently submit:

1. God’s ways are always greater³.

Sure, we may not understand this in every situation. Yet, when we contrast our finitude in light of sweet sovereignty, we ultimately discover the refuge behind God knowing what is best for us, even when it doesn’t make sense. I’m not sayin’ you’ll never feel like a sinking sailor caught up in a sea of potential, but I am sayin’ this shouldn’t ever deter you from trusting your Captain.

2. We can’t assume how things would’ve panned out.

This one may seem obvious. Yet, how often do we assert the wrong declaration? For instance, I can tell myself, ‘Things would have been great there!’ Then again, I’m basing my rationale on a piece of paper…an image on a screen. Yeah…I might feel judged being judged by a piece of paper, but what’s the point in reciprocating by conjecturing? Truth is: Only God knows the coulda/woulda/shoulda’s of life. Thus, why not proclaim the veracity of God’s faithfulness as it pertains to what he shields us from? Just sayin’…

3. At some point, we must embrace ‘careerealism’⁴.

Whenever we’re notified of not being the best fit, to be upset is only human. But to be professionalism in our attitude when no one is looking? That’s the kind of ‘wheat from chaff’ attitude we should aspire to.

If it helps, remember the four pro’s and three per’s:

Four pro’s: professional, proactive, productive, proficient

(i.e. to be professional is to be proactive in being proficiently productive)

Three per’s: perseverant, perceptive, persistent

(i.e. to be perseverant is to be persistent in being perceptive)

Combine these all together and you got a solid recipe of getting back on track the way God would have you.

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Perhaps you’re wondering what your next move should be or are struggling to process work/job hunt-related disappointment. If you can relate, we want to encourage you today. So if you want to share your story in the comments below, feel free to do so…or if you’d rather shoot us a private message, that’s perfectly fine as well.

‘Til then, keep looking up and know the best is yet to come!

~ Cameron

Footnotes

Highlighted by pregnancy, Caeden’s birth & new home
What is the official “religion” of Tennessee, Alex…
Isaiah 55:8-9
Inspired by http://www.careerealism.com

Photo creds: careerfaqs.com & http://www.bpodiary.com

There’s an App for That: NoteShelf

July 6, 2016July 7, 20162 Comments

Stats

Compatibility: Requires iOS 8.0 or later. Compatible with iPad.

Category: Productivity
Updated: Apr 21, 2016
Version: 11.1
Size: 59.5 MB

Review

As a teacher/pastor hybrid, I take content and presentation seriously. After all, to ‘stick’ a message, one must not only know what to say, but how to say/convey it.

Enter Noteshelf, an up-and-coming iPad app specializing in research and note taking features.

While NoteShelf is far from perfect, especially at a cost of $8.99, as one who works with students on a regular basis, its practical functionality more than makes up for its poor syncing capabilities (more on that in just a sec).

For starters, you can take notes (handwritten or typed) while recording on your iPad, not to mention import and mark up documents; however, where NoteShelf really separates itself from the rest is how it manages to utilize multiple functions amidst its eye pleasing, user-friendly interface.

As you’ll see in my pros/cons breakdown, there’s must to like…much to explore with NoteShelf. But again, since this is the first buy app option we’ve mentioned on His Girl Fryday, we encourage you to weigh the cost before pulling the trigger.

Note: You will need Google Drive already downloaded on you iPad for maximal efficiency. Also, for those who don’t own an iPad…I’m not sure if there’s any intention on lateraling the compatibilities to iPhone products (If anyone has intel on this, feel free to comment below). While part of me hopes to see the iPhone add NoteShelf to its app repertoire, I’d have to say it’d be even more ideal for NoteShelf to address some of the cons before doing so.

Breakdown

Pros

Solid handwriting palm elimination
Easy to import and edit PDF’s
Organizationally effective
Smooth interface
Solid array of personalization options
Multiple importing options
Apple Pencil support
Auto publish into Evernote
Multiple export and backup options
Wrist + password protection
VGA output support
Less expensive than Penultimate

Cons

No iCloud sync
Only compatible with iPad
Syncs with Evernote, but for an additional charge of $1.99
Apple Pencil feature needs optimizing
No pan or selection tool
Harder for left-handed people to use

Tutorial

Bottom line: If you’re a bivocational minister (or work in an environment where training/teaching/research is a priority), consider investing in NoteShelf. Sure, there’s room for improvement; however, with a sturdy foundation/reputation as a practical yet versatile tool, not to mention its promising instructional potential, you got to admit: the pros definitely outweigh the cons at the end of the day.

Image creds: 9to5mac.files.wordpress.com, ytimg.com, static.wixstatic.com

Integrating Ministry & Marketplace: 2 Big Lies about Spiritual Gifts

May 24, 2016August 19, 20161 Comment

So lately I’ve been pondering the divide between vocational and marketplace ministry, specifically its relationship to spiritual gifts.

‘Cause I’ll be honest: I don’t get the chasm…the compartmentalization among these facets.

I mean…it’s not like the seven spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12) were ever meant to be exclusive to pastoral leaders or limited to “inside church use” only. Certainly the church would have the common sense to teach/preach the seven motivational gifts (the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit) as gifts designed for everyone to apply anywhere…right?

*Crickets* *Crickets*

Oh snap, did I just stumble into a white elephant?

Eh, maybe I did. But still…this needs to be talked about. After all, if we desire to be the opposite of what Paul warned about in 1 Corinthians 12:1 (i.e. misinformed), it only makes sense to buckle up and dive into the issue.

But before we do, permit me to provide some context.

In my experience, the abuse of ‘spiritual gift teaching’ falls into two primary camps:

The notion that spiritual gift development can only happen in the church.
The notion that spiritual gift application can only happen in the church.

Granted, I know there are more categories, but for now, we’ll narrow our focus on these two criteria in hope to debunk some faulty doctrine.

Lie 1: Spiritual gift development can only happen in the church.

I’m not sure how this deception started, but no question, the legalistic undertones are evident considering it assumes a) life should be nothing more than the work of the ministry¹, b) business matters are inherently evil because man is inherently evil, and c) the marketplace is a byproduct of the fall; however, when we look at Adam/Eve’s original design, we find the marketplace and the establishment of institutional order to be a byproduct of creation. After all, when God created man, He also created his role…and considered it good (Genesis 1:26-31)

Thus, it’s important to note how the garden was just as much marketplace as it was ministry…and why it’s dangerous to compare and contrast ministry and marketplace as segregated entities. ‘Cause truth is: we may experience spiritual gift activation in the church; however, this doesn’t mean development can’t happen outside it given God is a God of grace, has the loving power to ignite one’s heart anytime, anywhere, and intended pursuing love and earnestly desiring spiritual gifts to go hand in hand (1 Corinthians 14:1).

Bottom line: The reality of love and the truth of creation give credence to spiritual gift development happening anywhere, not just the church.

Lie 2: Spiritual gift application can only happen in the church.

Dare I say it…this one may be even more baffling than the first. Again, the church was meant to equip and mobilize, not centralize and maintain. So why anyone would think the church was designed to be an entertainment hub as opposed to a stewarding/dispersion center is beyond me, especially when you consider the purpose of church is to worship God through word and prayer, to love one another, partake of baptism and the Lord’s Supper…and oh, yeah…go therefore and make [disciple-makers] (Acts 2:42).

Yes, learning how to apply and mature our spiritual gifts in a koinonia (Greek for fellowship, sharing in common) setting is essential; however, if such demonstration is limited to “in-house”, can we honestly say the our faith is reaching where it needs to?

Bottom line: Spiritual gifts are meant to be shared as salt and light with the world, not stashed as inventory in the secret basements of what we call church. Thus, if what we believe reduces spiritual gifts to an iPhone and church as a charging port, I strongly encourage you: shift your paradigm…and dare to apply/extend what you experience in church to other places of influence.

Looking ahead to next month, expect a more intimate dig into what pastoral ministry in the marketplace looks like (with a more defined emphasis on how to rightfully use spiritual gifts in our areas of business)…with a subsequent series on what marketplace ministry looks like in the church later on.

For now, if any of this content resonates, feel free to comment below. And as always, if you have a prayer request/praise report, there’s a place for that on His Girl Fryday.

Blessings on your week,

~ Cameron

Footnotes

1) More specifically…”ministry as ministry”

Photo creds: Shutterstock (edited by Cameron Fry)ly