3 Ways to Sharpen Your Sword

January 26, 2018February 1, 20181 Comment

As I journey towards my 2018 resolutions, I’ve been increasingly reminded of last year’s renditions…

Lose 3-5 more pounds…check. ✓
Talk more with extended family…check. ✓
Use social media less…check. ✓
Engage co-workers more…check. ✓
Read the Bible in a year…

…well, turns out I’ll need a few more months.

But that’s not the point.

The point is as I’ve pursued these quests, the drive to fine-tune the details within them has surged¹ (more on this in a future post). Still, with the one goal outstanding, I believe it’s worth discussing how we, as Spirit and Truth believers, are to mature in our sword handling.

For as Paul explains in 2 Timothy 3:16-17, the Word of God is from the Holy Spirit and since every Christian is in a spiritual battle with the evil in this world, we need to know how to handle the Word properly.

Granted, much can be said about how we train offensively and defensively; for now, let’s narrow our focus on three practical ways we can sharpen our swords in 2018…

1. Know the Word

As one who’s never housed a protective firearm, it’s difficult relating to lethal proximity. Assuming I carried one, I imagine I’d be satisfied simply owning it early on.

But imagine I purchase a gun, hide it somewhere safe…and a week later an intruder invades. How would I respond?

Would my action not be dependent on preparation (i.e. how I studied the manual, familiarized myself with the handle, etc.), innate awareness, and calculated risk (i.e. what’s the quickest, most secure way out of the situation)? In what would be most beneficial to my family?

Unfortunately, when it comes to spiritual warfare, we often approach our swords of the Spirit like hypothetical ‘me’ with a gun. We know the Spirit lives in us, we know what the Spirit is capable of…yet are easily content in feeling secure within a covering we don’t know how to defend.

As Hebrews 4:12 states: God’s Word is His living, active, double-edged sword designed to illuminate our hearts and protect them from the enemy. The fact God would provide a penetrable weapon to reach the core of our hearts while destroying those with evil intent only confirms 2 Peter 1:3 (“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness…”).

Therefore, if we want our swords to be effective offensive and defensive weapons, it’s critical we take them to the master whetstone that is Scripture.

Now I know this may sound confusing given Paul equates Word to sword whereas Hebrews associates through metaphor. Yet, if we apply John 1 to Ephesians 6 and accept the circular reference, we can better understand how a) our sword as armor is designed to be refined by sword as Scripture² and b) the more we discover God and His ways, the better we’ll combat temptation and satanic schemes.

2. Grow the Word

As mentioned, sharpening our swords requires the ultimate whetstone (i.e. the Word); however, if we want them to be maximally sharp, we must grow understanding in what it inspires.

Far too often, we cap our readership to God’s Word and pleasure material. We read our daily Scriptures, spend our fifteen minutes with God, only to fill our leisure with hobbies and extra-curricular pursuits. Yet, while rest certainly has its place, if we use it to shield ourselves from the divine inspiration in others…are we not lending God a partial ear?

For instance, my passion is to create content, but I know if I want to improve this skill while growing closer to God, I must invest time in revelations apart from my own. After all, if I forsake the inspired word given to a brother/sister in Christ, I not only risk limiting my understand of certain truth, but also locking God’s word in distraction rather than hiding His word for action.

Think of it this way…

…to read God’s Word is to exercise our spirit by truth; to discover God’s Word in authorized works is to exercise truth by His Spirit.

Yes, it’s true only the Scriptures are breathed out by God; however, if our aim is to be more like Christ, we must embrace how God is inspiring others through them.

3. Show the Word

Imagine if I told my wife, “I love you. I may not show it, but I want you to know it.”

That’s crazy, right?

Clearly, my love for her should be tangible, the evidence of promise as opposed to some platonic aphorism.

Of course, my wife knows I love her based on what I regularly sow; however, when it comes to living the Word, we must remember our mindset should be the same.

For as great as studying the Word and its inspiration is, it’s meaningless if our actions contrast our beliefs.

James 1:22: “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”

Romans 2:13: “For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified.”

‘Cause truth is: we weren’t made to just read and believe, but lead and achieve so others can discover their Lover. That’s why you and me are here.

As for our swords, we weren’t made to simply know what can be done with them; rather we were made to use them for the sake of sharpening them time and time again.

Like light at the top of the hill, our swords must reflect a life on the frontlines…a life that reflects Jesus yet also allows iron to sharpen iron. Only then can we, by the Spirit’s power, use the Word to save souls and nourish them with spiritual strength.

Footnotes

For instance, don’t just lose 3-5 pounds; lose 3-5 net pounds with 1-2 more upper body muscle pounds factored in
In shorter words, the sword is what refines it (i.e. the Word)

Cover photo creds: kevron2001 – Deviant Art

3 Things I’m [Really] Sorry For

January 11, 2018February 15, 20181 Comment

For many, it’s the same thing every January…

…we forget all acquaintance, inflate our morale…

…only to tease ourselves with premature quests founded on prayer-less resolution.

But perhaps you’re like me in the sense you prefer cleanse before change…in getting real before getting right.

If so, trust me when I say these days in early January can seem just as blue as they are buoyant.

Still, while taking internal inventory may seem less ‘fun’ compared to making resolutions, when we fearlessly explore what we need to be free from, we ultimately position ourselves to embrace the ‘next’ God has for us.

Thus, in the spirit of going under the knife, here are three things I’m owning as we turn the clock to 2018…

1) Making culture the enemy

I’ve learned many lessons as a state employee from persevering when treated like a number to managing challenging subordinates, but arguably none has gripped me so intensely as knowing your enemy in the face of conflict.

Growing up, like many, I learned Ephesians 6:12: “…we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities…and spiritual forces of evil”; however, while I understood this truth conceptually, I lacked awareness contextually. For instance, at work whenever I felt belittled or neglected, I used to justify resentment by redirecting my disappointment from colleague to culture. I’d think to myself, ‘As long as what I hate isn’t breathing, I’m good.’

The problem was: my offense wasn’t going anywhere. If anything, I had taken cynicism with respect to ‘person’ and extrapolated it over ‘many persons’ all the while exchanging discouragement for a false comfort I could easily hide behind.

Yet, as I’ve now learned, when it comes to not making culture the enemy, we must be willing to assign our offenses and align our defenses in the heat of battle. Far too often, we want to make sense of our surroundings; we want to feel secure about who is for us, who isn’t for us, who is pouring into us, who isn’t, etc.

However, if our filing system defaults culture to enemy while compartmentalizing those we assume aren’t for us as products of that culture…are we not recasting the same judgment we fear?

And yeah, I know it’s easy to appoint anger and bitterness onto what we think can’t be seen; however, I encourage you…

…if your idea of enemy is the deceived, not the deceiver, then not only are you misappropriating identity, but you’re removing yourself from an opportunity to love and judge righteously.

Think of it this way: if you’re struggling to see the finger-pointing, never wrong colleagues as anything but enemies, try focusing on encouraging them (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:27-36, Ephesians 4:32) and watch as God transforms how you see them. That way you’re at least in position to shift the enemy from instigated to instigator.

2) Hiding behind proximity

As an introvert, I love my solitude…that still calm in the middle of productivity and a dwindling ‘to do’ list.

But lately I’ve been thinking: Why is privacy perceived as such a luxury when we were created for proximity (i.e. engaged connection with those around us…not just closeness in space)?

I mean…if you’re reading this, odds are you’re close¹ to someone, right? From neighbors to co-workers to immediate family and friends, it’s no question proximity is both prominent and prevalent. Why is it then if we were to describe our ideal escape, it’d often involve seclusion or separation?

Is it because we think harmony and proximity are mutually exclusive…that rest can only happen in a vacuum?

If so, I submit we get back to valuing those in our midst regardless if they treat us like strangers or outcasts.

‘Cause truth is: if how we engage people is conditioned on what we can’t control, it’s going to compromise our conviction in acting on what we can.

That said, it’s worth noting the false security in minimizing proximity.

Case and point: for years at my job I used to think to myself, ‘Just because so-and-so lives two cubicles down doesn’t mean I’m entitled to be close…’ or ‘I’ve tried talking with so-and-so, but after all these years, they’ve never tried to talking to me. Might as well as be strangers.’

However, once I realized these thoughts were only de-salting my witness, I knew my approach had to change. Like my heart towards culture, I had to stop compartmentalizing people to make sense of my surroundings. Somehow, someway…I had to open myself back up so anyone and everyone could be a potential target for love, kindness, compassion, and encouragement.²

‘Cause like many, I can love on certain people well…plugging into their life…even giving gifts (which for me, is far down the love language list), but when I consider how Jesus broached proximity, no one was outside his periphery to love or his reach to heal.

Thus, I think it’s important we all examine ourselves and explore where good intentions may be linked to our own terms. Perhaps then we can find those secret places we may be hiding behind.

3) Marginalizing³my bandwidth

Left unguarded, my mind can easily drift into personal narrative. How will what’s left untold…unfold based on the good, bad, and ugly of yesterday?

Yet, as mentioned in prior posts, it’s hard to invest external margin (i.e. loving one another) in the present when you’re overly vesting it in the past. Therefore, if we’re wanting to be more selfless in venturing our margin John 3:30 style, then clearly we must be willing to examine our perception of relationship before transferring it.

Granted, easier said than done; however, as long as we’re intentional in asking God to breathe width into our bandwidth (i.e. capacity/strength to love on purpose), who’s to say we can’t change?

And hear me: I get how tempting it can be to assume other people’s perception of you is less than what it should; however, I also know if you cement your mind in thinking people won’t believe the best, you will do the same as well. Why not then trust God to move, convict, and transform others the same way He’s moving, convicting, and transforming you?

If it helps, if you want to de-marginalize your bandwidth, go back to your narrative…but this time, consider what you learn at 35 or 45 may be what someone else learns at 25 or 55. After all, who are we to judge when truth clicks for someone else? I mean…if we truly want to be heaven on earth, then we should want to root each other on regardless if our maturity curves line up (see Matthew 7:5).

Selah.

Footnotes

Literally and figuratively
A key distinction between world and ‘like Jesus’
To treat as insignificant

Cover photo creds: Newhdwallpaper

Year in Review: A Look Back at 2017

January 1, 2018January 1, 2018Leave a comment

As 2017 comes to a close, Lys & I sit down and reflect on the year that was…

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When you think back on 2017, what immediately comes to mind?

CF: There are two answers to this question: The first and most obvious is Everly. Her arrival into the world, on Christmas Day no doubt, was by far the greatest moment of the year. The second and not as obvious is the word, ‘closure’ (more on this in a moment) and the phrase ‘finish strong’. In short, where 2016 was a year of settling, 2017 was a year of transitioning…with many seasons ending on high notes and new ones emerging out from them.

LF: I think of ‘pregnant’ having spent 10.5 months in 2017 developing babies in the womb…preparing for transition in every major area of life from home to work to ministry…not to mention learning to retrust and not borrow anxiety from what I hear around me given my story is my story and your story is your story.

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What were some of the highlights/defining moments?

CF: Like 2016, 2017 felt like two years in one with our house hunt serving as a sort of ‘halftime‘. As mentioned, the big ‘Fry-light’ came on December 25 when Everly made her debut. Yet, going back further, I’d say my Restoring the Foundations healing week (April 17-19), the LEGACYouth white-water rafting trip, buying our first house (August 8), the Kingdom Youth Conference (October 13-14), and concluding our LEGACYouth tenure (December 3) all rank up there.

LF: For me…Christmas baby, wrapping up youth ministry and work at Ramsey Solutions, and prepping to pursue new goals as we transition from one baby to two.

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How would you compare this year of marriage to the first three?

CF: No question, recent life changes have compelled us to be more sensitive and aware emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually; however, unlike the past few years, I feel like this year’s challenges were more joined and less amplified. In others, the highs still felt high, but the lows didn’t feel as low. I guess being parents has helped us grow not only as people, but as spouses.

LF: I think this year was more about choice than emotion. During our first year of marriage, we were standing face to face, holding hands…starring lovingly into each other’s eyes, but this year I feel like we were standing back to back with drawn swords ready to meet the challenges.

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What lesson from 2017 are you eager to apply in 2018?

CF: Having gone through Restoring the Foundations healing this past spring, there’s so much I could say; however, if I had to pick one, I’d go with restoration requires not only the repair, but the rebuilding of broken pillars whether they be soul/spirit wounds, generational strongholds, word curses and/or deceptions. While transformation comes at the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2), it’s only when we’re intentional in pursuing these pillars that we break off the past’s power over our lives, strengthen our present relationships, and invest into our family’s future.

For additional lessons, check out my mid-year life lessons post.

LF: The lesson will be the continued application of trusting God to write my story and not assuming my story is what I’ve seen in other peoples’ lives. Also, the lesson I learned from carrying Everly: perpetual hope…as in my hope is in God and His character, not in my circumstances.

What do you hope you’ll be saying at this time next year?

CF: “Merry Happy Christmas Birthday, Everly!”

LF: “We accomplished all we set out to do. We stepped out in faith and not only made it, but thrived doing it, exceeding every metric and loving those we encountered.”

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3 Underrated Life Lessons from ‘Home Alone’

December 19, 2017December 19, 20171 Comment

When it comes to my top 10 Christmas movies, it’s tough not to include ‘Home Alone’. From John William’s score to Kevin’s elaborate booby-traps, it’s no wonder the film has long been heralded a Christmas classic.

Yet, while it’s easy to remember Macaulay Culkin’s signature scream and home security alarm system¹, it’s also worth noting the movie’s moral fiber laced among its memorable moments.

Thus, in the spirit of going behind the scenes¹, here are three underrated life lessons inspired by ‘Home Alone’…

1. Don’t believe everything you hear

Imagine being a falsely labeled murderer for over three decades, estranged from family, frozen in accusation. Hard to relate, right? Unfortunately, for ol’ man Marley, his reputation had fermented such stains. Once an innocent family man, now a salty, suspicious loner with a checkered past.

Yet, for Kevin, who like any impressionable youngster buys the gossip initially, his fear ultimately fades when confronted by Marley at a local church service.

Posed with tangible truth, Kevin not only accepts his misunderstanding, but ‘captains’ the conversation into two of the movie’s driving themes:

Togetherness is a vital ingredient to family life.
Never judge a book by its cover.

By exchange’s end, Kevin reminds us not only to weigh our judging impulses, but how doing so can build unexpected bridges with people we never imagined.

2. Reconcile your differences

As an adult, it’s interesting to observe movies you frequented as a kid. For instance, with ‘Home Alone’, it’s appalling how much word cursing and finger pointing occurs within the first five minutes.

Megan McCallister: Kevin, you’re completely helpless!

Linnie McCallister: You know, Kevin, you’re what the French call les incompetents.

Jeff McCallister: Kevin, you are *such* a *disease*!

Frank McCallister: Look what you *did*, you little *jerk*.

Buzz McCallister: I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my [butt].

I mean…if I had family like that, I probably would want them to disappear too. No wonder my parents started the movie after these scenes!

Of course, as we eventually find, Kevin, not realizing he’d been inadvertently abandoned, learns to value what his parents provided him while Kevin’s parents learn to press through guilt into doing whatever possible to get home.

By the finale, not only do we see Kevin’s rejuvenated appreciation of family, but Kevin’s family realizing the type of person they’d been abandoning long before leaving for Paris.

Granted, it would have been ideal had humility and forgiveness being more directly exchanged. Yet, in the world of cinema, beggars can’t be choosers so we learn to live with backhand affirmation (Buzz: “Hey, Kev. It’s pretty cool that you didn’t burn the place down.”), hugs speaking for themselves, and a mother’s ‘sorry’ covering for the entire family².

3. Don’t just conquer your fear, stay ahead of it

Remember the scene when Kevin goes down to the basement and encounters the furnace (apparently voiced by Sauron)?

Upon further review, Kevin does right in downgrading his foreboding to imagination, but as we later see, once the furnace opens, it’s game over.

Fast-forward twenty minutes and we find Kevin, having since conquered a pestering clerk, a stereotypical police officer, and a klutzy pizza delivery man, revisiting the furnace, flexing his new found confidence (see 1:18-1:27 in the clip below).

Yet, while Kevin is able to ‘defeat’ the furnace, he knows to beat the wet bandits, he must not only brace his fear, but embrace it by tackling each hurdle in stride as evidenced by my favorite scene in the movie…

Thus, as Kevin reminds us, if we want to better confront our challenges, we need to anticipate and see ourselves rising above them. Only then can we stand strong, hold our ground, and defend the faith as we were made to.

Bonus: Be careful what you wish for.

As a kid, this line constantly sailed over my head…

…but now as a married father of two, I get the joke.

Obviously, Kevin is too young to understand the full contrast between independence and relationship, especially in a family where neither is modeled well; however, for older viewers like us, his tantrum³ can remind us to be careful what we say, what we wish for, and how we interpret hidden cries for help.

In Kevin’s case, not only did he feel left out, but ridiculed and scorned when attention was given (hence his level of frustration; see word curses above). Yet, while his comments on the surface seem to indicate a craving for solitude, his ‘when I get married‘ slip up clearly confirms a much deeper-seeded desire for meaningful/functional connection.

As for us, let’s learn from Kevin by making sure we don’t defer our hope in the face of disappointment while keeping a steady ear, eye, and hand out for those in similar struggles⁴.

Footnotes

In more ways than one
Though quick side note: while Kevin’s parents lived their ownership, as we’ve talked about here on His Girl Fryday, full reconciliation of relational soul/spirit hurts can only occur if repentance is confessed
Shout out to Joe Pesci whose reaction makes this scene)
Which interestingly Kevin does with old man Marley during the church scene

Bible Verses

Photo cover: Film & TV Now

The Season of Perpetual Hope

December 11, 2017December 25, 2021Leave a comment

‘Tis the season to be jolly…

…or so we’re told this time of year.

But let’s be honest: How many of us feel remotely close to Yuletide bliss?

I know for me, as the fall sun sets into what should be the happiest season of all, the stress of it not being so sets in as well.

What if December is blue, not white. What if this and that are not right.

I’m sure I speak for many when I say the anxiety can be overwhelming.

And yet, as valid as our tensions may be, as easy as it is to yield to negativity and strive for positivity, it’s worth noting we were made for the other way around.

But Cam…how do I get there?

Well, that’s why I writing this.

‘Cause truth is: This Advent season can feature some of the roughest crossroads of the year. For instance, what do you do when you want to sing joy to the world, but feel too ‘Charlie Brown’ to care? Or what do you do when Christmas is coming on too fast for one limping among shattered dreams and broken goals on way to another yearly finish line?

To help answer these questions, I want to cut away to one my favorite Christmas movies: Home Alone.

Remember the scene when Kevin’s mom is desperately pleading with the Scranton ticket agent?

“And I don’t care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike! If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.”

Well, it just so happens prior to her ‘Momma Bear’ unleashing, she leaks out one of the most profound definitions of Christmas in cinematic history.

“This is *Christmas*! The season of perpetual¹ hope!”

Now it’s worth pointing out a couple things:

Kate McCallister, like many of us this time of year, is tired, frustrated, yet determined…knowing what she wants but unsure how to get there.
Kate admits a profound truth as a means to justify a personal end (i.e. getting home to her son’)…as opposed to letting that means be the end she needed to persevere.
Kate’s response reminds us of the potentially beautiful relationship between resolve and desperation (Note I say ‘potentially’ since unguarded desperation can mislead our resolve away from what we believe).

In short, Kate had the awareness of what was right: Christmas is the season of perpetual hope²; however, in her frantic state, she lacked the application of what was right as the only thing she wanted perpetual was herself.

Yet, while Kate could have saved herself some stress, we can learn from her mistake by discovering what the Word says about ‘perpetual hope’. ‘Cause when we talk ‘perpetual’, we’re not only talking about the immutability of God – the reality of an unchanging God timeless in nature, but also the quality of hope we internally long for.

Ask yourself this: Why do so many nations celebrate the secular symbol of Santa Clause…or represent their holiday spirit with illumination? Is it not as Bryan Bedford stated from “Miracle on 34^th Street”, “to create in their minds a world far better than the one we’ve made…”?

If yes, then I submit we’re not only hard-wired with an innate drive to hope in something, but to hope in something perpetual. Granted, it’s easy this time of year to put foot to gas…hoping to get from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’…hoping to feel good about ourselves…hoping enough satisfaction can be derived from momentum…as opposed to resting in our perpetual Provider; however, if you’re sitting there worried the joy of Christmas has to be earned or is going to take off without you…I have good news for you:

You don’t have to carry the load anymore!

Rather you can relinquish fear, release control, and receive a fresh hope centered in the always abiding, ever enduring love of the begotten. After all, that’s what Christmas is all about: remembering the “light of the World” who came not only to make a way, but a perpetual way (Isaiah 43:16)…even when we feel no one can reach us³.

Thus, if anyone needs some perpetual hope this Christmas, consider it’s always been Jesus…

…God from God…

…Light from Light…

…Strength of Strength…

…Hope of [Perpetual] Hope…

…breaking through the darkest of nights to save…

…you.

Selah.

Footnotes

Perpetual = Never ending/changing, everlasting; occurring repeatedly
Honestly, how many people around her could have come up with a better summary of Christmas in six words or less, especially under those circumstances
Desperation Band – “Make a Way”