Office Angst: 7 Signs of a Toxic Workplace (Part 2)

March 22, 2024March 23, 2024Leave a comment

In my last post,  I examined the first four of seven toxic workplace traits and provided Biblical support to each section. For today, I want to conclude this series with my final three attributes along with a recap pod summarizing my points. As a reminder, while we’re exploring cultural and environmental red flags, we’re not hiding from leadership issues as the topics ultimately cannot be detached. 

Without further ado, let’s tie a bow on this…

5) Inconsistent Leadership

 When we talk about toxic work cultures, there are several dismissive characteristics we could cite from narcissism to manipulation to arrogance; however, there’s one, in particular, encompassing a multitude and that is incongruence (I.e. when a person’s actions contrast their words).

Ask any leader or tenured employee with authority and they’ll admit responsibility and accountability are essential to positive team performance and morale. Yet, where there are inconsistencies between expectation and execution, there is room for misinterpretation, miscommunication, tolerance, even negative emulation down the line.   

The good news here is the fix doesn’t have to be complicated: If you’re a team lead, supervisor, or director, walk the talk.

For example, if you say you’re not a micromanager, don’t micromanage, even if your intent is to the contrary. Rather, assess your intent to probe past normality and be willing to receive feedback if the actions involved communicate distrust or produce uncomfortable vibes. Remember seeking clarity is one thing but second-guessing motives without compassion, grace, and understanding is another. 

If you struggle to model any of these qualities, dare to explore any area where intention and action aren’t aligned. Naturally, no one should want to be inconsistent in their work; hence, why leaders especially should understand consistency isn’t limited to the fruit of one’s hands but also the words of their mouth and the reflections of their heart. 

Supporting Bible verses: Psalm 19, Matthew 7:3, Mathew 23:3, Luke 16:13, 1 Corinthians 15:58, Galatians 6:9, 1 John 4:20

6)  Overtolerance and Permissiveness

To be fair, this point flows from the one prior, but based on perceived abuse, this warrants a separate explanation. If you say certain actions won’t be tolerated, don’t make the principles behind them conditional. Instead of granting exceptions based on seat or situation, handle moral failures and detrimental conducts consistently regardless if the person involved in an established personality or rookie within their probationary period.

From what I’ve seen, the top-down ripple effect of steady rationale and decision making can be empowering in the long term, even if it’s messy in the short term. Whenever trust bends or breaks, abiding by proper protocol will not only enhance security but also encourage people to adhere to higher standards of integrity. 

Put another way, if you’re a leader, don’t sacrifice reproach by synonymizing forgiveness and tolerance. If an employee has an established track record of poor conduct, scale the offense, and timely oversee the appropriate actions in a way that benefits the whole of the team. When in doubt, just say ‘no’ to permissiveness and ‘yes’ to due diligence and follow-through.

Supporting Bible verses: Proverbs 21:16, Romans 6:1-2, 11-15; 2 Timothy 4:1-2, Ephesians 4:2, 1 Peter 3:8-11

7)  Lack of awareness and accountability 

No workplace is perfect, and employees, leaders and teams may display negative traits from time to time. However, if that behavior is pervasive, leadership must consider how the culture they’ve cultivated may be impacting the trend. Unless a single employee is the root of the hostility, a leader best serves their company by investigating beyond the conflict into its source region.

Often, if an employee starts deregulating, there’s a corporate tie-in, be it a lack of recognition/development, unclear communications, and/or insecurity. Yet, even if these currents aren’t underlying, there could be larger problems involving personal, domestic, and/or health issues, which leads me to a key point:

When a work boundary is breached, don’t automatically assume ill-intent but gauge the transparency of your corporate principles and reassess them before the repercussions.
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Handled the right way, a potentially volatile situation can de-escalate into a refreshing reset when humility meets resolution. Conversely, if a leadership committee lacks awareness and accountability, the employee will almost always follow suit.

For instance, you may have a teammate or subordinate who acts ignorantly at times. Yet perhaps he/she feels ignored, like a number within a company that hoards autonomy and withholds clarity. In these cases, don’t deal with the contention topically but with meekness that anticipates understanding.

‘Cause truth is: If leaders and teams don’t take inventory of their internal processes and how they affect personnel, discouragement, even burn-out will inevitably result. Why not rightfully deal and scale tension internally before your clients and supporters smell smoke?

Supporting Bible verses: Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 27:17, Ephesians 4:15, James 5:16, Hebrews 10:24-25, 1 Thessalonians 5:11

As always, selah, thank you for reaching and…

Cover photo creds: Wellable

Office Angst: 7 Signs of a Toxic Workplace (Part 1)

March 8, 2024August 28, 20241 Comment

Recently, I was driving to work and it occurred to me: By the end of this year, I will have reached the 15-year mark as a full-time employee in corporate America. Crazy how time flies (or Frys in my case), eh?

While I’ve benefited from tight teams in years past, I’ve also worked on some, ahem, not so tight teams educating me to the contrary. With a notable marketplace mileage marker on the horizon, I want to examine some signs of toxic leadership/work culture as well as how we can overcome within our co-worker in Christ identity (1 Corinthians 3:9).

As always, let’s dive in!

1. Teammates aren’t treated as diverse in function, co-equal in value.

While diversity, inclusivity, and equality discussions are expected initiatives in today’s marketplace, let’s be honest: How committed are most employers to consistently upholding these principles? As much as we gravitate towards hierarchy, performance-based metrics, and capitalistic tendencies, the bottom line to this point is essentially outcome divided by constancy.

In the long run, no organization can reach its potential without each member understanding and operating within their value.
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Granted, some leave it to the individual to derive their own sense of purpose which can be fair in the context of guiding from a distance. Otherwise, vocationals should know whatever systems they’re in cannot reach their ceiling if people aren’t treated as diverse in function, co-equal in value.

Think about it: If your work leadership encourages favoritism and limits opportunities to a select few, then odds are teamwide morale will decrease and internal tension will increase. Why is this? I submit the significance of this reality is due to it being one of deepest core corporate identities. From an original design perspective, we were (and are) intended to serve as one body. Applied to the marketplace, this means we steward structures that provide equal opportunity for growth to every position and take the same approach to feedback and general engagement (More on this in a future post as honestly, this is one of my favorite topics to discuss).

Note: To those in high-level positions, consider the Jethro principles and seek to execute them effectively so middle managers are accountable to develop those under their care. If you’re young and starting out, find a leader or seasoned veteran with mentorship potential and watch how they respond to feedback and instruction. Who knows? Even if the culture is weak, you may still be able to derive motivation and inspiration from those who are secure in their strengths.

Supporting Bible verses: Hebrews 10:25, 1 Corinthians 12:12-27, 1 Corinthians 3:9, Exodus 18:14-26

2. Passive-aggressive and/or manipulative leadership.

Another side-effect of toxic leadership involves the deliberate withholding of constructive criticism, encouragement, and/or gratitude. In a post-pandemic world, you may have noticed passive-aggressive supervisors falling into one of these camps, using silence or support withdrawal as primary communications tools; however, under no circumstances, should these behaviors be tolerated.

‘Cause truth is: A mature leader not only knows when and how to deliver feedback but facilitates phycological safety, trust, and confidence in challenging situations. If you’re in an environment where leaders have ambushing agendas, redelegate tasks without proper communication, or uses silence to communicate, then I have news for you:

You deserve better!
Leaders who drive wedges and/or use ego to stir division aren’t true leaders!

Of course, I’m not suggesting you abandon ship if you’re currently working under a similar authority. Conversely, I’m encouraging you to take inventory of offenses, collect your emotions, and find a time to speak with the appropriate authority (I.e. supervisor or HR Manager depending on the situation) to clear the air. As long as you integrate other voices and honor your leaders and colleagues, your intentions will be well grounded as you steward peace, advocacy, and forward motion.

Supporting Bible verses: Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 28:2-26, Romans 16:17-18, James 3:14, Ephesians 4:14, Luke 16:8b, Matthew 5:37

3. Lack of trust, communication, and engagement.

Per point #2, if a leader lacks trust, even with a subordinate, the ideal move is to confront the issue fostering the deficit or dissonance. Generally, an employee who feels they aren’t trusted wants to discern areas of improvement; hence, why indifference, or the perception thereof, is not only deflating but often an overflow of a toxic environment.

As you may have learned in your own experiences, a lack of communication will almost always create some form of chaos, angst, or strife, but sound leaders are keen to promote the well-being of their teammates. Remember an occasional check-in or positive acknowledgement can go a long way in reinforcing a worker’s understanding of their value while also regulating their emotions. Regardless of our role, dare to diffuse discord through compassionate engagement and curiosity.

Supporting Bible verses: 1 Corinthians 15:33-44, Titus 3:10

4. No formal review process and/or pathway for development.

As an employee with public, private, and liturgical experience, I can speak candidly to this point having seen this process mapped out a variety of ways. If your employer has no formal performance evaluation process where the only criticism is given in moments of error, then you have a major red flag in your hand.

As my time has taught me, all employees deserve to know if the work they’re doing is effective and efficient. Since we’ve established feedback and communication withholding as signs of environmental toxicity, the call here is straight-forward: Develop and promote a review process where all team members top-down are accountable and have a means to build areas of strength and weakness alike. Even if the meeting frequency is quarterly or biannual, the impacts can be massive as you streamline a process to preserve morale in tandem with corporate performance.

Supporting Bible verses: James 1:19, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 4:6

Stay tuned next time when I’ll conclude this post with my final three points including a podcast overviewing the content. For now…

Have an amazing weekend!

Cover photo creds: Sesame Disk

Grow ⬆️ Up: A Call for Us in 2024 (Part 2)

February 8, 2024February 12, 2024Leave a comment

In my last post, we discussed the biblical definition of growing up and laid out a generic pathway for reference. Today, I want to set another layer and explain some practical ways we can do this corporately in 2024.

No question, there is much in terms of chaos in our nation and world today. As my January fast reminded me, not only has this decade been culturally frustrating and concerning, but it has exposed the neutrality of many believers who are struggling to process the rapid decay around them. While I understand the tendency to want to look away, the truth is we must stand firm and strong together which cannot happen without awareness, intentionality, and as Steve Berger says, “compaction” (blending compassion and action).

How we do this from our respective offices around the globe? I’m so glad you asked! Without further ado, here are a few practical solutions we can take to mature in our vertical reliance in 2024…

Return to ancient pathways.

This first point may seem basic enough but I believe if we are to decrease appropriately as God increases in our midst, we must return to ancient pathways, specifically in honoring the name of God, the time we invest in His Word, and the Sabbath Day. As we progress in this era of media and technological saturation, one cannot combat the grey without acknowledging its existence, the grey being the small, sometimes subconscious ways society compels us to devalue our faith, spiritual identity, and God’s presence through copings and stimulations. Frankly, if we want to grow up individually and collectively in 2024, embracing holy fear is not an option. As the dark gets darker, so must we love what God loves and hate what He hates all the more. While some may label you as Pharisaical, dare to surrender the anxiety as one of the flesh. After all, the world needs to see absolutes be true to their name and for all who confess and profess the name of Jesus to be anchored, even as persecutions and prejudices elevate from third-world countries to just down the hallway.

If you’re reading this as an employed Christian, I encourage you to inspect any place where you’ve taken your “faith foot” off the gas pedal. As you seek the Lord, don’t hesitate to examine where you may be compartmentalizing your confidence, even character in your quest to model life and light before all men. From there, take inventory of the bushels, refill your internal salt cellars, and watch what God will do as you embrace surrender and thanksgiving in tandem.

Model grace and perspective.

As I’ve stepped into a healthier work environment this year, I’ve been compelled to learn new skills while sharpening older ones. Along the way, I’ve been reminded how powerful perspective can be when observing and interpreting our surroundings, heartbreaks, and challenges. For instance, in years past, I sometimes fell short looking for my settings to make sense, affirm an emotional conviction, and/or be the primary means to personal development and growth; however, as I now understand, these habits, when left to selfish devices, can lead to inflated expectations and disappointments. Having taken inventory of my discouragements last month, the light bulb ultimately activated: For many, their willpower and/or lust for affirmation is the center of whatever change they hope to initiate. In Christian circles, we sometimes see this by those who subscribe to ‘name it and claim it’ theology, prosperity Gospels, and warped Golden Rule principles.

Yet, when we examine the Gospel of John, we find a different reality:

Apart from Christ, we cannot mature as new creations or represent Him in our aim to change the world, one positive inspiration at a time.

Why? Because if God isn’t the focal point, the true epicenter of our lives, there’s no hope of us seeing ourselves and our world correctly. Put another way…

Just as God is love, so must He be our perspective, especially if we desire to walk in fullness between the grace we give and the grace we receive.
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Applied to our work, to hit the mark of Christ, we must be willing to walk patiently and deliberately with people as they learn and grow in their roles. If expectations aren’t defined, don’t just define them but expand the tent pegs of grace as you help establish them. In any season, growing pains and audibles are inevitable. Rather than avoid them, steer into the sting and sow perspective in Spirit and Truth (John 4:24) as peace-making conduits of grace. For we are called, my friends, to build our careers upon life, not the other way around.

Lead as a servant.

In today’s marketplace, many want to lead by results and metrics. To make an impact, to leave a legacy, one must pioneer new pathways to achieve greater attention especially in more competitive landscapes, at least so we think; however, when we look at John 13:1-17, we find an alternative approach demonstrated by Jesus who humbles Himself, washes His disciples’ feet, and sets the ultimate example for servant leadership. Growing up, I used to think this chapter solely previewed the Cross and Great Commission to come. Yet, as a working adult, I now understand the present ramification as servant leadership, a corporate call where we wash our teammates’ feet (with or without the shoe removal 😉) and champion our God given authority as Kingdom ambassadors within our spheres of influence.

Now, to confirm, servant leadership is a broad term and encompasses a wide spectrum of potential actions. That said, the moves we make can be as practical as they are profound. Whenever an opportunity intersects your doubt, consider asking a teammate how you can better support them. If ‘hands on’ in the way to go, then go out of your way to tackle a task either of you can handle as the situation merits. And if you’re really stumped, simply read the room, engage with genuine curiosity, and pray for guidance and peace to illuminate your steps. Who knows? Before long, you may be sharing your testimony over coffee as the Gospel becomes alive during the conversation.

Bottom line: When you serve as a leader, you preserve faithful stewardship and your commitment to sowing trust with whom and with what you put your hands to.

Of course, these points are only a handful of options we can take to grow up in our workplaces in 2024. For those looking to take more leaps in the months ahead, what are some other aims we can consider as we live as Christ and awaken the Gospel through spiritual and vocation effort alike? Feel free to share your comments below.

Otherwise, stay tuned next time when we’ll explore how we can serve one another through our co-worker in Christ (1 Corinthians 3:9) calling! Catch you guys on the Fry…

Graphic creds: Hospitality Insights

Grow ⬆️ Up: A Call for Us in 2024 (Part 1)

January 20, 2024January 28, 20241 Comment

After a disappointing 2023, I’ve been pondering pathways for maturation in recent weeks. Often, when we come off a down year, we take inventory of what went wrong and why; however, let’s be honest: How frequently do we integrate prayer and counsel into the pathways we set?

In my case, 2023 was a story of transition and survival, a season in which healing, stability, and community struggled to gain traction. On several occasions, Lys and I were compelled to question things that shouldn’t have happened, the silence we experienced from some of our social spheres atop the list.¹

To add insult to injury, life in last year’s office space wasn’t any better. Having arguably been moved to the wrong team to start the year, I found myself in an occupational Pandora’s Box, stuck on an island yet trapped within a cubical greenhouse – the air free for some but borderline toxic for others.² Consequently, I fell out of certain rhythms of health and behavior that in a typical year would have been evident.

Now, to be fair, a mulligan makes sense given how Lys and I were rung through the ringer in 2021 and 2022. Still, as one beat up from those years, I shouldn’t have matched any time I sensed an attitude shift or withdrawal, writing off some as casualties of what I couldn’t control. Oh, if I could go back, I would and hand on shoulder, remind that Cam to shun the numbness. I guess that’s why they say hindsight is a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.

Yet, despite these dissatisfactions, I’ve been hungry to convert brokenness into something good, something healthy, something authentic. After all, that’s the magic of a new year and why I’ve been stirred to fast regarding the year ahead. ‘Cause truth is: I don’t want to come anywhere near who and where I was last year. Perhaps some of you can relate having been pressed without precedence in recent years?

Either way, as I finalize this internal audit, I celebrate the changes being made but also understand receiving fresh grace and compassion can be arduous without a game-plan, especially without daily forgiveness and surrender.

Which brings me to why I’m writing this. During the past few days, a phrase has been activating in my spirit, like a banner of the heart being raised to the rafters. Chances are you’ve heard these words, albeit in negative connotations as standard for most. Unburying the lead, these words I present are not only a motto for the year but something we should all aspire to each day we live and breathe.

What I’m saying is…

As Matthew 5:48 says, “You’re kingdom [agents, ambassadors representing God’s ministry of reconciliation]. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” (MSG)

But Cam, how do we get there? How do we connect the dots between our ‘loved by God’ identity and the discouragement we feel chained to?

First, you must return to the Father heart of God:

“I’m not writing all this as a neighborhood scold to shame you. I’m writing as a father to you, my children. I love you and want you to grow up well, not spoiled. There are a lot of people around who can’t wait to tell you what you’ve done wrong, but there aren’t many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up. It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God’s Message to you that I became your father. I’m not, you know, asking you to do anything I’m not already doing myself.” ~ 1 Corinthians 4:14-16 (MSG)

After marinating in the Father’s warmth, embrace His intent for you to discover His love and how it can help you redirect or mature in specific ways, each according to His likeness:

“God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love. ~ Ephesians 4:14-16 (MSG)

Next, detach (or distance yourself) from unhealthy people and situations weighing your faith down:

“Don’t tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape. They’re completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us.” ~ Colossians 2:18-19 (MSG)

Replace childlike impulses with childlike faith, innocence, even curiosity in the ways of the Spirit:

“So come on, let’s leave the preschool fingerpainting exercises on Christ and get on with the grand work of art. Grow up in Christ. The basic foundational truths are in place: turning your back on “salvation by self-help” and turning in trust toward God; baptismal instructions; laying on of hands; resurrection of the dead; eternal judgment. God helping us, we’ll stay true to all that. But there’s so much more. Let’s get on with it!” ~ Hebrews 6:1-3 (MSG)

Finally, clean house! Once you’ve repented of your shortcomings, renounced any agreements with the enemy, and prayed God’s highest to cover your soul hurts, declare thanksgiving to God, over your family, and for Him to anoint the stepping stones on which you’re called to walk.

“Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy, and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants…drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.” ~ 1 Peter 2:1-3 (MSG)

Final disclaimer: While this list is a mere guide and doesn’t represent all the steps you need to take to correct course, I encourage you to seek the Lord to discern how He wants you to facilitate the fireplaces of your hearts in 2024. Ask yourself: “What agreements and unholy packs need to be broken off? What dead weights do I need to cut ties with? What pursuits do I need to put on the backburner, at least for a short time? In what ways should I reprioritize my time, energy, and investments? In what ways do I need to make right with my neighbor? Is there any clear peace or lack thereof in any category of life? Do I sense any open doors or change in direction? If so, who is leading me? More importantly, what or who is the source of my fire? And if I’m not burning, what is getting in the way?

While the answers will vary, understand even in your weakness and weakest, He is strength and strongest. Somehow, someway, you will feel the sweet release of reset and recalibration; however, be advised you can’t get there without effort, intentionality, and reposturing.

During my next post, I will share some additional insight on how to level up at work with these paradigm filters applied. Until then, you got this! Go forth and go get ‘em…in Jesus’ name.

Selah.

Graphic creds: Vecteezy; sermon by Ian Gilchrist (preached at One Church Home on 1/7/24)

Footnotes

Note: I can’t speak for everyone, but I imagine some of you who’ve lost a loved one can relate to the social leprosy incurred after-the-fact. More on this subject later, though in the meantime, dear church, as far as it be with you, please be the church unconditionally.
Friends, if you taste rejection concerning who you’re called to be, what you bring to the table, etc., do not clap the dust off your sandals prematurely. Rather, stay consistent to team expectations, honor authorities and colleagues, and keep both hands on the plow until you’ve reached the finish line. Again, more on ideal exit strategy once full stock has been taken.

Year in Review: A Look Back at 2023

December 28, 2023June 7, 2024Leave a comment

Thursday, August 24, 2023

I’m taking in a familiar scene, a road once trudged 1,934 times over 7 years, give or take a few. By all means, I should be feeling nauseous, frail like the cracks on the sidewalk below.

But not this day. Not on this quest back to the desert where once upon a time, I punched in a rare card. Oh, to be a youth pastor with a full-time governmental job on the side. Those were the days, the former, I miss fondly.

In the air is the smell of victory as I trek this iconic incline disguised as an inverted hourglass. An interview? With the State? No way you could have convinced me a year ago I would be in that situation. Then again, as they say, expect the unexpected and you’ll never be surprised or disappointed. Tell that to a desperate hunter living on a prayer wondering how the heck it came to this.

Indeed, to tell the tale of 2023, you must go back to the beginning, a point when red flags were yellow and the hope for a better year was still alive. A promotion to a new department at work. Check. A fresh slate post-Jubilee. Check. Hot off a fruitful Christmas NICU outreach. Check. Certainly, some anticipations were well founded.

Yet, despite those hopeful prospects, there were apprehensions as the new year rang, the biggest one being our final small Fry in the oven with no one aware except Lys’ parents. In a vacuum, there was excitement, a recognition of God’s restoration at work. Still, we knew despite my promotion at work, it wasn’t going to be enough to make ends meet based on a poorly reshuffled financial deck and a lack of quality benefits. TennCare, the system is helpful but doesn’t cover everything. Somehow, some way, God was going to have to do what only He could.

Freshly commissioned by my former team of three years, early expectations were high the year ahead could be both a collective step up. Unfortunately, the writing on the wall would start to show in light of questionable corporate decisions, enough to know what was now becoming clear: 2023 was going to be my last year at Foundation Group, shades of four years prior when God guided me out of TDOT. I didn’t know how the transition would occur. All I knew is like the ending scene from Mary Poppins, the weather vane within had completed turned. Slowly but surely, a piece of me was starting to fade.

With the kids in school to start the year (shout out to Greater Things), Lys and I had to pull out all the stops to make ends meet. We started with one freelancing side hustle (lost to AI in May) and a few ministerial endeavors on the board; however, they were not enough to offset the support cutoff that took place following Jubilee’s passing. For the first time in our married life, we had to find creative means from the bottom of the barrel to stitch paychecks together. This included eight BioLife Plasma appointments between December 8, 2022 and January 19, 2023, the latter of which prompted my donation retirement having almost passed out due to blood loss. Freak plasma accidents, they can be a bear in a [matter] of speaking. 😉

The following week, I started an eBay store to offload sports cards, memorabilia, and apparel I didn’t need. While gross sales were much higher than expected the first 4-5 months, the operation only served to connect weekly financial dots and did little to help us pull equity out of our home. On the verge of bankruptcy only months before Aili’s arrival, Lys and I had no choice but to pray and pray often for open doors. In our hearts, we knew provision would come. We just didn’t know how the details and timelines would shape out.

As winter gave way to spring, our family received a generous offer to visit Port Saint Joe, Florida for our first full family vacation. During our time away, Lys and I were able to celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary while the kids enjoyed their inaugural beach debut.

In terms of broader stretches, the late March to early May time frame was notable for two occurrences:

1) On March 27, The Gate Church hosted my dad’s 50 Years of Ministry Celebration in what was truly a special night for our family.

2) From March 21 – May 9, Lys and I participated in a grief support group at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in what would become a defining sequence for the rest of the year. Despite the proximity to where Jubilee died, we felt at home with our new friends, some of whom we still keep in contact with. As only the second bereaved parent support group in Vanderbilt’s history, our cohort proved to be an enlightening experience for several nurses on staff. From what we understand, more support groups are expected to launch in 2024 for those who endured Jubilee journeys of their own.

Like April, June was a meaningful month, albeit for different reasons. In a top three memory of the year, Lys and I took a weekend away to Moscow, Tennessee, to participate in a While We’re Waiting Retreat for bereaved parents. Like the Vanderbilt support group, the event would feature a balanced blend of community, healing, and direct support, essentials we desperately needed and weren’t finding anywhere else at the time. The empowerment and activation from the weekend would not only result in more friends but a guest appearance on the While We’re Waiting podcast in October and eventual board approval to start the first middle Tennessee chapter for the 2024 calendar year.

Apart from support groups, the dominant storylines heading into July were Lyssah’s pregnancy (by far the smoothest of all five kids), leading more Zoom calls with the Circuit Riders, and the job hunt reaching a fever pitch. Among the 200 applications sent on Indeed and LinkedIn between July-October 2023, roughly 8-10 resulted in fruitful networking including a pipeline for Foundation Group that specialized in not-for-profits.

Of course, the ultimate Fry-light would occur Friday, July 28, the day on which Aili was born. Although her earthly entrance doesn’t offset the incompleteness Lys and I feel, the wonder of God’s faithfulness as evident through the moment struck a victorious nerve in the context of God’s sovereignty and our testimony unfolding. Literal beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3), Aili’s arrival was more than cathartic but a sweet reminder to praise God for the way He ministers encouragement and comfort to the brokenhearted. Like a gift that keeps on giving, Aili continues to warm our hearts through smiles and reflections of divine providence. Even in the wake of last year’s tragedy, the surrealness of her presence has, no question, bonded our family together in greater measure.

Fast-forward to November 7 and the job search finally concluded after five months of persistent effort. Honestly, I will never forget the call I received from Mercy Multiplied during which they confirmed an offer for me to become their Accounting Manager, instantly justifying God’s call from January and the many closed doors that preceded in the months following. To think my application came in one day before the position was pulled from online job boards blows my mind – just another example of how God is faithful to guide and provide especially in the clutch. Since then, I’ve been able to find footing in a healthier environment working for Nancy Alcorn and her Finance team. No doubt, the experience, highlighted by the Merry Mercy 40^th Anniversary Celebration earlier this month, has been a breath of fresh air.

And so, as the sun sets on 2023, I bid it adieu and relish the opportunity to start afresh and anew. Occasionally, I think back to that day in January, the one BioLife missed the vein, and how it triggered a resonating desire for the look of life to change in every facet outside immediate family and friends; however, I also remember praying, ‘Lord, even if these changes don’t happen, even if I feel like I’m sinking at the end of the year, give me healthy wife/healthy baby and I will gladly take it‘. Safe to say that request accrued dividend and interest as Aili, and her older sibling trio continue to mature in stature with Lys making progress towards 2020 levels of health.

Still, even with the advances of late, the hurts linger. Moving on is hard; adjusting to life post-Juby (while we’re gettin’ there) is hard; learning your youngest son is auti..ahem…neurodivergent…is hard; employing financial wisdom is hard; not feeling seeded in crucial areas…you guessed it…is hard. Then again, life was never meant to be easy and I’m quickly reminded how we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us even when we feel alone, disappointed, unheard, misunderstood, even neglected. Hence, why Lys and I are not discouraged to the point of wavering despite 2023 going down as the roughest year since 2011. For as 2021 and 2022 taught us…

…clinging to hope at the end of your rope is not just a hell to pass through but a hotspot to discover God’s love amidst the endurance.
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Thus, while 2023 felt like navigating a pothole-laden highway, we can give testament to God as a solid foundation amidst the voids. Despite the adversities, I give Him all the praise for how he’s helped me put the family on my back and carry them through streams of troubled water this year.

To new faces and friendly spaces, we thank you for being valued connections in life and as part of our support network. To those on the other side, we thank you as well for your part in making us stronger. Just as without suffering and chaos, there cannot be compassion and peace, so too we cannot grow stronger without deficits and prompts to overcome. Accordingly, we can be grateful for the situations that awaken us to draw closer to Jesus regardless of the specifics involved. Granted, we understand many of you reading this have sowed refreshment and have extended goodwill to many during the past few years. For that, we share our warmest regards and wish you nothing but God’s best this holiday season.

May you all be blessed and enriched with the grandeur of His highest,

~ Cameron (and Lyssah) Fry

Prayer Points (in no particular order)

Favor with Cameron’s new job at Mercy Multiplied
Favor with the launch of the While We’re Waiting Nashville small group
Ministerial direction (i.e. knowing where God wants to plant us in 2024)
Mentoring/networking opportunities (i.e. knowing who we’re to team with/invest relationally)
New work opportunities for Lyssah (remote or hybrid)
Family health/Milo’s occupational therapy
Progress with Cameron’s Jubilee Journey book and a jumpstart of the His Girl Fryday podcast
Continued healing and recovery post-Jubilee

Cover graphic creds: Vecteezy