Autside Looking In: Dealing with the Spectrum and Grief at Work

So, this isn’t a newsflash, but I’ll go ahead and say it anyway.

I’m an autistic adult who’s lost a kid yet believes in his story. While there’s a lot I don’t know, I know a lot about things I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, from holding a child taking her last breath to being unfairly labeled in school for lacking social cues, and at past jobs for having neurodivergent tendencies.

Not to suggest I’m a victim or anything. I’m just different, perhaps a little anomalous, and that’s okay. Honestly, the world needs more people who are content and confident in their uniqueness, in how they see and understand the world around them.

Yet, as for why I’m writing this, consider it a call for corporate introspection, from churches and counseling centers to employers across the country. No matter what organizational structure is employed, there must be support for spectrum people as well as those who are struggling with trauma and loss. In our interactions with colleagues, providers, subordinates, and those in our household, we must not only prioritize grace, compassion, and understanding in our dealings but also make additional room for them with certain people in specific situations.

The reason is simple: While every day is a gift, it can also feel like a burden for the one walking through complexities they can’t understand. Are we actively thinking of ways to steward psychological safety in our workplaces, to share requests and concerns? Are we screening people at strategic junctures to know what their accommodations should be? Are we seeking to understand the ‘why’ behind select needs, tools, and outputs? Are we willing to learn more about what doesn’t directly apply to us but applies to those on our team, from the cubicle peer next door to the prospect who could be the missing link to our company’s next big thing?

Again, I’m not looking to force conviction, but stir some questions for thought. Are we, as influencers and leaders with varying degrees of authority, considering ways we can facilitate healthy environments for those who may struggle to regulate on overwhelming, high-pressure days? Are we contributing our availability and wisdom to potentially detrimental dynamics? Are we being bold to sow life while being emotionally sensitive to those who could use a piece of our positivity, perspective, or direction?

Whatever your answers are, I’m not entitled to know, though I will say this in closing. Dare to care enough to know when an unjust tag is applied, when bias is infiltrating a pride-centric culture where hurting and/or neurodiverse people are somehow inferior. In all we say and do, let’s keep our hearts intact, our protocols fine-tuned, and our attitudes open to adjustments.

Fall Down 7, Get Up 8: A SOAP Bible Study on Proverbs 24

Scripture: Proverbs 24:16 – “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.”

Prelude: Recently, I was reminded of a late 2000s NBA commercial in which Dwyane Wade collapses to the parquet multiple times over the course of his career. After a montage of tumbles, a new series unfolds in which he rises from each fall before the screen goes to black… 

Coincidently, this connects to a separate memory last decade. Remember the 2017 NAACP Image Awards when Denzel Washington delivered one of his most iconic speeches? 

Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” 

…still gives me chills to this day.

Understandably, many cite this line as a Japanese proverb with a credit to celebrity enlightenment; however, in reality, its true source is the Word of God; hence, this SOAP Bible study in which we will dissect the contrast in greater detail.

As always, let’s dive in…

Observations: In a vacuum, this verse compares the resilience of the righteous to the cowardice of the wicked. Both sides face setbacks and challenges, but only one perseveres through them. While some assume this verse suggests adversity comes to the unwise, the reality is that calamity finds all of us at one point or another. The key is how we respond and endure the way God intended. 

As mentioned in a recent post, even good people fail sometimes, especially as they face new challenges and situations beyond their ability to handle. Humility applied, we must understand these circumstances are not the product of poor character, but a part of God’s plan to develop it. In what we say and do, are we willing to rely on God’s guidance in the fullness of faith and integrity? If not, we will inevitably succumb to stubbornness and disbelief as the trials undo us.

Symbolically, the number seven is used here to emphasize completion and perfection, as God’s grace empowers the righteous to suffer through their failures. Granted, man, in his finiteness, may be ‘one and done’ on certain matters; however, since God sees the entire picture, we can trust that in HIs faithfulness, He will give us multiple opportunities to clear our hurdles. How sweet it is knowing we can live from victory as we wrestle with and for God!

Following v. 16, we find a subsequent call in v. 17-18:

Do not rejoice when your enemy falls and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the Lord see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him.”

As people redeemed by faith through the Cross, this charge cannot be understated. While our flesh may snicker at karma and the kind of justice that enhances our ego, we must never rejoice when others fall and can’t get up. If anything, we should intercede and consider our options to help. Even if we can’t directly intervene, we can pray for a person whose peace is in peril and build a broken brother up from a place of boundary.

Applications: Although chaos and conflict are unavoidable in this life, God is the one true constant through it all. When tough times come, we can rest knowing there’s a vertical response with our name on it. To those feeling God is leading you through a desert or wilderness right now, remember how God used Joseph in the Old Testament (Genesis 39) and Paul in the New Testament (2 Corinthians 1:8-10). You may feel lost in the hole or bind you’re currently in, but this could be part of a grander setup in which God is equipping your heart to reach a promise and purpose He has ordained for you. 

Bottom line: God never fails and has the power to restore our confidence and redeem our failures. Although setbacks will come, as long as we fix our eyes on Jesus and follow His lead one step at a time, God will not only forgive us but also bring us to completion according to His Word (Philippians 1:6). Why not let Him be the fall back you crave when all hope seems lost? 

Prayer:

God, we turn and align to you in this moment. We thank you for being a merciful, faithful God in whom we can trust. Father, as I write this, I think about those in dry valleys, surrounded by bones, needing a spark. As men and women fallen in sin, we confess our need for a Savior, who through His strength and sovereignty, provides the tools and opportunities necessary to rise above the obstacles of life. For those wresting in guilt and shame, for those who feel defeated for not having passed a specific test, we speak peace, grace, truth, and love to their hearts and minds today. May they find you in the wake of their desperation, for others, in the midst of their course-correcting. In our frailty, we admit our limited perspective, our tendency to get way ahead or woefully behind you. Though the ways to faith derailment are many, we choose to lean on your understanding, to follow the prompting of your Holy Spirit, and to press into you with all that is within us. Bless your holy name. Come alive within us. Help us not to give up and give in but as Psalm 57:1 says, lead us from failure’s shadow in and under the shadow of your wings. Amen.

Cover graphic creds: Redbubble